fawn
27
(doctor!)
singapore/ sunny coast
melbourne! ♥
(would love to bake for a cafe/
?bird & brie)
wallflower
☁
my brother says i am
a cumulonimbus cloud :)

also

joy unspeakable that won’t go away
and just enough strength to live for today
so i never have to worry
what tomorrow will bring
‘cause my faith is on a solid rock
i am counting on God
♡
in dreams and in love
there are no impossibilities.
- jános arany
☼
You make all things
work together for my good.

people

rong; yurong; diana; may;
peiyu; caleb; kevin; daniel; joel;
lois; susanna; june; jane; cheryl;
yuwan; christina; jocelyn;
ivy; mangyik; jasmine; ida; valerie;
jason; joab; shaun; jintat;
jonathan chua; freedy; gary;
iris; sammy; nicky;

love

history

March 2005; April 2005; May 2005; June 2005; July 2005; August 2005; September 2005; October 2005; November 2005; December 2005; January 2006; February 2006; March 2006; April 2006; May 2006; June 2006; July 2006; August 2006; September 2006; October 2006; November 2006; December 2006; January 2007; February 2007; March 2007; April 2007; May 2007; June 2007; July 2007; August 2007; September 2007; October 2007; November 2007; December 2007; January 2008; February 2008; March 2008; April 2008; May 2008; June 2008; July 2008; August 2008; September 2008; October 2008; November 2008; December 2008; January 2009; February 2009; March 2009; April 2009; May 2009; June 2009; July 2009; August 2009; September 2009; October 2009; November 2009; December 2009; January 2010; February 2010; March 2010; April 2010; May 2010; June 2010; July 2010; August 2010; September 2010; October 2010; November 2010; December 2010; January 2011; February 2011; March 2011; April 2011; May 2011; June 2011; July 2011; August 2011; September 2011; October 2011; November 2011; December 2011; January 2012; February 2012; March 2012; April 2012; May 2012; June 2012; July 2012; August 2012; September 2012; October 2012; November 2012; December 2012; January 2013; February 2013; March 2013; April 2013; May 2013; June 2013; July 2013; August 2013; September 2013; October 2013; November 2013; December 2013; January 2014; February 2014; March 2014; April 2014; May 2014; June 2014; July 2014; August 2014; September 2014; October 2014; November 2014; January 2015; February 2015; March 2015; April 2015; May 2015; June 2015; July 2015; August 2015; February 2016; March 2016; April 2016; June 2016; July 2016; August 2016; September 2016; October 2016; November 2016;

credits

Hosts: blogger; photobucket
Layout: /strawberrying

it's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right
i hope you had the time of your life


oh there was a fire evacuation today at hostel! in the morning. but i wasn't in. ha. apparently it was jy's birthday, so her friends did something for her, and then when they blew out the candles, it triggered the smoke detector. errrr. and because it costs $3000 for the fire engine to come, each of them has to pay $300 or something like that. quite sad, considering it was her birthday.

on the other hand, i think it must have been quite a funny sight. people rushing out and stuff. ly had just showered, and he brought his shampoo++ down ahaha. :D

and dr w is taking leave in term3. i think it's cos of his daughter. but like OH NO. that means a new teacher for math AND physics AND mentor and that means :( because the new teacher probably won't be as easy-going. OH NO. hahaha syahir cannot wake up late anymore once term3 starts. :D he goes for only about 10 mins of math lesson everyday haha. and dr w is going to somewhere like denmark.

it is kind of unfair for someone to always be taking the initiative in doing stuff i guess..

in more ways than one, i wish next year wasn't uni year. i realised that i cannot apply. i am just at a lost as to what to fill in under "course preference". :
oh and they are going to do NS in a while. it must feel so.. i don't know how to describe. ha. i would just hate it if i were in their shoes. completely totally hate it.

everyday is revision, almost. except english and bio. english is really last minute lah. they are giving us a practice one day before the exam? she won't even be able to mark them and return them to us in time, so what's the point? for bio.. i'm sure she'll finish temperature control tomorrow. so not so bad. except that i cannot remember anything already.

it is so scary!

my dearest sis just msged after dinner. :) YAY. i miss u too dear! <3

i am going to stock up on all sorts of medications when i go back to singapore.


empower me
like a mighty river rushing to the sea
Lord send Your Holy Spirit pouring out through me
till i am living as Your child
victorious and free
send the power of Your love
empower me


FIFTEENone

is it that difficult to see things from another perspective? sometimes we don't bother, other times we deliberately refuse to see it. well. we're not always right.


ivan's moving up to level 6- today! my my. so fast. met him in the lift and he brought me to see his new apartment. supposed to be sharing with ly, but i don't know when he's moving up. the apartment isn't all that nice. i guess. small fridge, and the wardrobes are tiny. long hallway, okay toilet.

had two lunches today. AGAIN. ugh.

got up at 8.30 and went to school at 9.30. annie gave me maltesers. :D did math in the library. then came back for the first rushed lunch with annie.

rushed back to school for mentor group. dr w talked quite a lot today. i didn't take the good life. doesn't matter anyway. sat next to yiman. got irritating msges.

met annie and fumie and went down to level 3, then fumie went to get her lunch. looked through my orange book and did math and english.

then we were almost late for english. did compre+summary, but i didn't finish! hai. almost. ENGLISH HOMEWORK AGAIN. ugh. letter to the editor.

holidays come and go, taking everything with it.

FORMS.


there must be something wrong with me for me to keep eating and eating, even when i'm not hungry.

emotional rollercoaster! whee~ so fun.. not.

crap, now don't feel like doing work anymore.

hurr. beyond caring lah. it's not the first time.. and i don't think i'm the one being unreasonable. come on lah, no one else i know would react in that way. no one normal. ha, discrediting.

if no one stops me, i'm going to keep on eating. argh.

my fingers are like old lady fingers. so wrinkled and dry and crackly.

i don't want to apply for uni.
i want to go back forever.

sighs* don't mind me. just going a bit mad.

mug chem or bio.. or math? don't want to get back physics test.

my miracle.


SIXTEENtwo

hmm. dinner tonight was quite a horrible affair. the stupid new chef was so slow, most people only got their food after 6. (dinner starts at 5.30) and the soup was basically pasta sauce. and the cheese was mouldy. and he used his hands to touch everything. pasta, garlic bread, everything. then he burnt his hand and applied ointment, then continued to touch the food. !!! argh. HE SHOULD JUST GO AWAY. i thought that to be a chef, you had to actually be able to cook. he proved me wrong. i miss uncle george.

other than that, today went by normally.

math was quite irritating. because ly came and used my table the whole time. and i was trying very hard to be angry with him. hai. cannot make it.

did math in physics too. since i'll have one week devoted to physics, i'd better concentrate on math first. since it's next mon. hmm. quite scary, how it comes so fast. can hardly believe that exams start on friday.

was supposed to mug bio during line 3. organic compounds and enzymes. in the end, only did organic compounds. cos aiksern kept talking to me. haiyo. but it was okay lah. heh. BUT he wants to borrow all my math exercise books! hai.

bio was okay. did control of water reabsorption and a bit on temperature. she talked about shivering (spasmodic contractions! :D) and hair standing on end. haha. but those things only happen in singapore, where people actually point out long arm hair and make funny comments. haha.

chem was quite boring. went through periodic table homework questions. i did a few past year questions while she was at it.

line 6, went back to hostel to eat and get english stuff. then went back to school in line 7 to help annie with math. saw ly at the lift, but didn't say anything. yay! ASHLEY. i seriously cannot make it lah.

helped annie with some applications of differentiation questions. then rushed to english. english was okay. except that tomorrow we have to do a practice compre+summary. i hate it. even though there are like 6 questions only. :D ahaha. totally spoilt, i know.

after english. i went for another bio class! ahaha. actually i just wanted to see what the teacher was like. mrs ryans. i'd heard that she was a good teacher. hmm. she said i couldn't tell anyone she let me sit in her class. :p and she really is a good teacher. the atmosphere of the class is so different from p richard's. and she gave me notes also haha. but they are quite slow. like still doing acquired immunity when we're doing homeostasis already? hmm.

then after line 9, went back to hostel and made instant pasta for annie cos she was starving. then she cooked an egg for me haha. then we did more math. a bit only lah, since we'd wasted so much time already. then dinner. that whole episode. plus the fact that spaghetti is always with beef. UGH. but i'd rather eat beef than vegetarian. even though beef always leaves me feeling disgusted. with myself. ugh.

and i need to wake up early tomorrow! even though it's a week 2 wednesday! that means school starts at 11.45! BUT annie says i need to be in school at 9.30. to do MATH. my goodness. okay lah not that early. :p can wake up at.. 8+ (: heh. too bad though.. i'd been counting on tomorrow morning to make up for my weekend.

oh. ly wanted to borrow my bio again. i said NO. i will not lend it to someone who isn't grateful fo it. actually. it's a lot more than 'not grateful'. if someone did that something to you, or your stuff, you'd feel the same way, i'm sure. especially since bio is my favourite subject. i cannot stand people doing this kind of thing to my stuff. seriously. don't judge me.

hurr. i think it's good to have someone to do work with between line 9 and dinner. that way, i only waste the time between dinner and my shower. don't lose momentum so much. what nonsense.

oh i nearly forgot. got back bio test today. can just bang my head against the wall! hai. stupid oxygen and muscles. grrrr. AND THERESA GOT 100% LAH. _________ nvm. syahir got 99% haha. half mark down.. a new competitor! and i am falling behind! hai.

it's quite sad to have to mug for exams when everyone else is on holiday, isn't it? ah, but none of you would know how that feels, not really.

OH! and an abstract from.. somewhere else. ha.

Numbness. It takes the place of hurt and pain, but once the anaesthetic wears off, you'll feel it again. The sharp pain. The hurt. And then you cry your heart out; that's like another anaesthetic shot. One day, when you're tired of all the shots, you'll wish it was euthanasia instead.

morbid, huh.


SEVENTEENthree

okay. cannot take it anymore.

MATH. i am like halfway through the first study guide. functions. i HATE functions. all the stupid things. ugh. i give up. for tonight.

did chem also. why do we need to remember what all the people did lah. so stupid. like rutherford and mendeleev and dalton and bohr and thompson and DUNNO WHO ELSE LAH. and dunno how to spell all their names also. so crappy.

pris said hi. (: she slept a total of 8 hourse over the 3 nights of camp! my my. wonder how jem is. haha.

talked to ashley. :)

talked to annie too. she keeps making me teach her singlish. i dunno why. haha. probably cos she can't understand me most of the time.

tired tired tired. i'm scared i won't be able to wake up tomorrow. then late AGAIN. hai. i think i should get a snooze alarm clock. handphone reminders obviously don't work.


ashley: choose your friends wisely mei.


i made lunch today! haha from scratch. yay!

woke up at 7.44am today. guess what, school starts at 8! hmm. good thing loyi called me, otherwise i'd probably have slept until 12. i knew i didn't get enough sleep over the weekend. :
anyway i was only 5 minutes late. walked in with i-sen. :) my physics lab partner. :) i think she was shocked to see me waiting for the lift.

got back math test, it was quite :) yay!

physics. our own revision = nothing. i cannot do. ARGH. we're getting back the test sooooon. i think he should just go and burn the papers.

and stupid loyi embarrassed me in front of the whole class and i was really angry with him. argh. i was daoing him on and off.

bio was boring. stimulus-response model blah. sec school stuff.

chem. periodic table trends. oh we got back the test too. it was better than what i'd thought, i guess. thought i got at least 5 wrong. but ended up only 4. haha. a 3.3% difference. and she marked one of my wrong questions correct. then when i told her, she said "oh i wouldn't bother about that! full marks for honesty!" ahaha. then loyi was complaining about how unfair it was. haha. but he got 2 wrong only lah.

OH i forgot all about english homework. grrrr. haha watch ren's video first then do. :D ahahaa!

today was chinese! smsed rong caleb kevin but kev never reply. HE ALWAYS NEVER REPLY ME ONE LAH. hmph. smsed ren also. :) haha GP make up. :p

okay DO NOT LAUGH.


DO NOT LAUGH

hahaha! i have been laughing like mad the last.. hmm. i dunno also. quite long lah.

ALL REN'S FAULT. haha. show me that video then keep on watching and watching and laughing like mad. it's from jason. :D and everyone should watch it and go mad. ahahaha.

then ren keeps on going on and on about the shuai jap guy HAHA. but really shuai lah. ;D go watch!

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/128811/do_not_laugh

tentententententententententen!

WHY ARE THE FRANKSTON AND CLAYTON CAMPUSES SO FAR APART?

arghhhhh tonight never study. :
haven't touched anything except bio. classification, cell structure, movement across membranes. THAT'S IT. ARGH. okay cannot do this anymore! from tomorrow onwards must mug like mad already.

FOUR DAYS TO MIDYEARS.

sebas said that if you try to keep your sneeze in, you'll damage your internal organs. hmmm. but i can't sneeze any other way..

anyway looks like i can't move out. or maybe i can. ha. but i doubt it. OH WELL. say bye to the beautiful house, dog, piano..

eighteen, soon to be seventeen. too soon.


to all the chinese AO and chinese O people:
JIAYOU! (:


thank You God

but it goes against the way i am
to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all i do
'cause when those trials come
my human nature shouts the thing to do
and God's soft prompting
can be easily ignored







blooberfied=there's a lot of loneliness in this world says:
OH NO!!!
are u prepared!!!
haha
oh we had debates you know that day!!
HAHA
so funny!
cos jean wasnt here..
then only left me ren rong
so i ended up inventing imaginary friends
then ms ngiam was terrified
and wants to send me for consultation


blooberfied=there's a lot of loneliness in this world says:
huh
thats bad leh
u got tell opi
u got tell daddy!
u got tell mummy!
u got tell!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
haha no!
blooberfied=there's a lot of loneliness in this world says:
u need watermelon seeds!


blooberfied=there's a lot of loneliness in this world says:
yesterdae
after movie go home
then sebas seduced a lao ah pek
hahaa
take bus home with him
haha
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
eeeee
why is he so weird
blooberfied=there's a lot of loneliness in this world says:
AHHAHAA
u can be charged for overusing of the word WEIRD
hahhaa


blooberfied=there's a lot of loneliness in this world says:
yA
when are u coming back!
cos rong at camp
then ren cannot go
so end up only me
ME
MEEEEEEEEEEEee
with 3 weird guys
weird in different ways
hhaha


hmm. and it has always amazed me how she can just suddenly stop talking in the middle of nowhere. ha. but then i'm used to it already.. i guess.



because there are more things to laugh about than you'll ever know.


okay feel more like it now. or maybe i feel like eating..

called huiru for a while. seems like sfc j2s are really dead tired. :\ oh well. anyway i talked to yoda too. :) YAY haha. she sounded tired too. :\ hai. and pris said hi without actually talking to me. :(

hmm. was just thinking about how you can know a person for some time, yet never really know him/her on the inside. most of the time, people aren't what they seem, i've realised. like you can never tell what they've done just by looking at them. or where they've been.. or who they really are.

so what, we're living in a world that's all fake?
bleargh.

anyway that's not the point.
i don't know what the point is.
there is no point.


i might get to go to java during the hols. where yesterday morning's earthquake hit. daddy might be going on a recce trip next week. he called me just now. :) i was so happy. i hadn't talked to him in ages.

i feel like i'm on study break already, feels like there isn't school on monday. ENGLISH HOMEWORK.

stop spending money like water.

went to annie's homestay today. it really made me want to move there. the house is SO NICE. my goodness. i love this type of house. the type you'll never ever find in singapore. haha.

anyway. i woke up at 10.15. late. haha. but managed to get ready by 10.50 (after wanz showered), then went to vic market with annie. and bought bananas. now there seems to be a grape crisis too. the prices have steadily increased. like they must attack every fruit i like right. bananas are now priced at up to $12/kg. MADNESS OKAY. last time it could be as low as 99cents. UGH.

went to hardware lane macs for lunch. exchanged views on how hk and sg macs have mcwings and the fries are nicer. ha. was supposed to mug there. but in the end we both didn't feel like. so she convinced me to visit her homestay.

went back to hostel to dump bananas. then went to melbourne central station and took the train to hawksburn. it's only a few stops away. haha my first time taking the train ever since i got here. SUCH A MOUNTAIN TORTOISE. oh well. the train is very different from the mrt. but they have the yellow line too. haha.

hmm. her homestay's dog is quite nice. very.. docile. haha. okay she's old and scaredy. but still nice lah.. in a way. haha. she sheds a lot. oh and her name is addie.

SHE HAS A PIANO IN HER ROOM. AND IT'S 80 YEARS OLD. my goodness lah. i also wantttt. and her room is so nice. so big. SO NICE. i love the fireplace and the big cushy chair. of course the fireplace can't be used. but the mirror is nice. haha.

mugged bio a bit. cell structure. and played the piano and talked and laughed. hmm. then after a while, we decided to go shopping. she needed to get a pair of black shoes for her performance tomorrow at toorak.

wanted to take the tram. the shopping area was about 3-4 stops away from her house. but in the end we just walked. faster. haha. and in the end her friend could lend her black shoes, so she didn't need to buy. then she was so happy. ha. walked and walked and walked forever. nearly got knocked down by cars at every junction and almost got lost. i think it was chapel street. anyway. in the end we got so hungry. and we decided to go back to the city for dinner at dessert house. :)

took tram 72 back to the city. and on the way we talked english cantonese and chinese. my chinese sounds better than hers! ahahaha. i still cannot speak cantonese though. although phoebe and koney are always saying that i eavesdrop on their conversations. hmm.

ate at dessert house. :) very noisy, with a deaf waitress. and the fried rice was spicy. and the woman beside us kept staring cos we were sharing a plate. and then in the end she also shared with her husband lah. nonsense. and she kept talking about fried rice also. weirdo.

was going to walk back to hostel.. then we saw yuki with the other hk girls. haha. so went over to talk for a bit.

then went back to hostel and annie went to get her shoes. and see my t-shirt. and she borrowed my nike bag! my nice nice brown nike bag haha. oh well. she promised to return it by the time i go back to singapore. :)

sent her down and she went home. then i went down to loyi's room. he has been shouting at me the whole entire day. ever since he miss called me 6 times after his horrendour bball game. hmmm. oh then he spent half an hour explaining the game to me and complaining etc etc while poor annie had to wait for me.

anyway. he showed me his jay chou live concert dvd lah. like how waste time haha. then after a while ivan came. his gf is coming for the formal, so he needs another place at their table. then after a while jocelyn called loyi. and he started SINGING into the phone. my goodness lah. haha. then she came down also. and the three of them were belting out the lyrics HAHA. really quite funny to hear ivan sing. cos i have never heard it before haha. and he sings not badly. :D hahaha. and loyi was talking about wearing all those sequinny things to the formal. and jocelyn and i were both saying he CANNOT. haha. it's been a while since i whacked someone and left my handprint on them ahaha.

__________________________________

okay just got back from talking with ashley. :) haha. 2 hours+ again. hmm. kept telling him stuff halfway, then continuing afterwards.

stopped halfway to open the door for wanz. and stephen (the supervisor) came out. anyway her family is here already. hmm.

ly went CLUBBING and SMOKED. stupid retarded _____. nothing more to say.

want to move to hawksburn. but that would mean terminating my contract.. and as much as i would love to do that, i just don't think i can.

don't feel much like blogging now.

high.
because today couldn't get any worse.


when you're close to tears, remember
one day, it will all be over
one day we're gonna get
so high

though it's darker than december
what's ahead is a different colour
one day we're gonna get
so high

and at the end of the day
we'll remember the days
when we were close to the edge
we'll remember
how we made it through
and at the end of the day
we'll remember the way
we stayed so close till the end
we'll remember
it was me and you

'cause we are gonna be
forever you and me
you will always keep me flying high
in the sky of love

don't you think it's time you started
doing what we always wanted
one day we're gonna get
so high

and even the impossible
is easy, when we've got each other
one day we're gonna get
so high

and at the end of the day
we'll remember the days
when we were close to the edge
we'll remember
how we made it through
and at the end of the day
we'll remember the way
we stayed so close till the end
we'll remember
it was me and you

'cause we are gonna be
forever you and me
you will always keep me flying high
in the sky of love


ever wondered why the sun rises everyday?

i love how the sky's still bright at 6pm there.


physics test went rather horribly. heard from yiman that dr w set the test. argh.

oh and some angmoh guy talked to me in line 3 lah! ahaha. asked me about ipod. cos i was just sitting at level 7 too depressed about physics to mug chem. then he came and sat beside me haha. but he used a million vulgarities.

chem test was better. slightly. after i went to the locker, syahir suddenly appeared and started asking me questions. then he told me that the Fe3O4 was in SOLID STATE so it wouldn't affect the K and i was like ?!?! CARELESS AGAIN.

oh well.

at least this week's over (almost). just one lesson left. whew. wonder how i survived.

and school hols start tomorrow for everyone else. hmmm.

20 days. it seems rather scary. like after waiting so long, suddenly i don't want to go back? hmm. guess i just don't want to see how much things have changed.... ha okay. the rest of this belongs somewhere else.


seriouslyAPATHETIC.

there's something wrong with me. two tests tomorrow. on my 1. most hated subject- physics and 2. chem. and i am not studying. my books are closed ON THE FLOOR. and i am not studying. i am not studying. I AM NOT STUDYING.

i think i am going mad.

maybe i should just go downstairs. i want to call! but no one to call!

that's the last time i'm ever trying, i promise myself. wonder why i even bother taking such huge emotional risks anyway. so. from today onwards, NO MORE. no point in trying to feel happier by talking to someone, but in the end, get slapped across the cheek. NO POINT.


of dots and fats.

Yet, every failed attempt, or experiment, if u will put it this way, cut like hot knife into butter. The same wounds opened up multiple times, the only difference being how deep it the wound goes. Somtimes, it was a chopper, sometimes a sword, others, a butterknife. They had the same feel anyway. Pain. -from caleb lim's blog.

lleufer: what's your problem?
me: what.
lleufer: small dot.
me: FATS.
lleufer: pokes*
me: stares* hahaha

he has been calling singapore a small dot ever since he couldn't find us on his map in geog class. so malaysia is FATS.


TWENTYONE.
eight- midyears.

from shawn's (fellow khaodeeian) msn nick:

it's by looking at the past when you finally realised how great that journey was and you start missing every moment of it.


just once in a while would be nice.


me: *flip!* (:
me: haha congrats! (: miss seeing u around..
suyun: deaarest fawn! ahh! miss ya too! (: thankew wor. hm, might drop by on finale day of SFC camp? (:

i wish i could drop by too.


okay stop hiatus for a while.

OH MY GOSH I CANNOT STAND IT.
why another one.
losing people must be the worst thing in the world.


thanks sebas. (:


hiatus:
a short pause in which nothing happens or is said, or a space where something is missing.

on hiatus.


TWENTYFOUR.soontobetwentythree
10+ days to MIDYEARS.

okay really cannot do math anymore. i don't even know what to do. he says textbook questions are beyond our standard (that is, mufy standard. obviously you all can do it. hai), and there like SO FEW questions in the midyear study guide since only jan mufy has this topic, and there are only papers for two years. that means like 8 questions? hai.

and i don't feel like doing english. realised that my rebuttal was out of point because i kept thinking about the other issue. whether homework should be BANNED. like UGH. okay i am not planning anymore essays ever. it will make me fail. bleah. so i need to find another rebuttal and think memorise some stuff for the body paragraphs. i need to finish 3 paras tomorrow. hai. MUST MUST. cannot be like the last essay. :\ rush and rush and rush and only get 11.5/15.

but i think it's really stupid that we haven't gotten back our expository essay yet. or or argumentative practice essay. what's the point of doing a practice essay, of not for us to see our weaknesses and know how to write better for the actual thing? but nooooo, she keeps procrastinating and taking forever to return us our essays. they were due to be returned to us about 2 weeks ago i think. so. although mrs b is a nice teacher, she is like. GOVIN. in some ways. arghhhhhhhh. WHY.

currently addicted to pods. hai. twix pods. mmmmm so nice lah. haha.

and got new nice chinese song to listen to haha. :)

should go and sleep soon. if not i'll be so tired in math that i'll make all sorts of stupid careless mistakes. looking forward to gattaca? haha. NOT looking forward to bio make-up.


overrated.

hmm. just taking a break from math. i think i take too many breaks. considering i only started work at 9+. hmmm.

was just thinking. about the first time you meet people.

isn't it funny how a friendship can start in so many different ways. from a "okay, everybody turn to the one on your right and say hi" to an "i think that guy has the hots for me leh" to a "phone?? phone?? ohhh.. fawn." or a "what's your name ah?" when we were playing the two-degree whacko thing in orientation1.

haha. to be honest, i cannot remember how i first came to know some people. but i bet it was some weird thing also lah. when you look at how your friendship has grown over the months/years, it's just funny to think how it all started with some small weird thing. and then from that small weird thing, suddenly everything changed. (:

anyway, annie's coming over again tomorrow. she wants to study bio. but i will drag her to go buy sushi first. :)

okay, back to math now. (:


you can't say i'm not trying.


(: watched videos of the rugby thingy haha. like everybody running onto the field etc etc. haha okay i know i am outdated! but still. it was happy watching them. (: thanks to vonn. (:

OH and sfc camp is coming up! oh my. read something about a cemetery. hmmm. jem won't tell me anything. but they stayed in school until 10pm. hai. I WANT TO GO.

okay that's all. feel fat + lazy = no good. :(


"aren't we just the epitomes of ironic (and highly hypocritical) statements."

that was from jeanette's blog. hmm.

i'm feeling really fat. UGH.

OH i talked to jason last night. :)


woohoobabeh!! says:
oh and i nearly go back singapore on 28th may lei
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
wah
how come?
woohoobabeh!! says:
cos no scoo what
despite the exams when i come back
bio chem physics
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
ooh
woohoobabeh!! says:
BUT
decided not too
cos
too short time
and somemore u are not there
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
haha
woohoobabeh!! says:
ALL YOUR FAULT la
hahaha

x)


just went through the motions of school today. oh i woke up in the middle of the night lah i dunno why. hardly ever do that. some more slept late. so weird. then i saw sebas' msg haha. out of nowhere. but still :) YAY haha. and ren msged me too. :) YAY.

math was revision for tomorrow's test. I SAT THERE AND TYPED SMS AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO LAH. the first question. hai. how demoralising.

physics was electricity and magnetism. i hate this topic. i don't get it at all. then some more on the rare occasion that i didn't bring my textbook, dr w decided to use it. hai.

line3. went back to hostel for a few reasons. 1. needed to get something i forgot to bring. 2. needed to walk outside in the cold in order to not feel so ARGH.

bio. continued with the B-lymphocytes and T-lymphocytes and memory cells and antibodies and antigens and macrophages and helper T-cells and killer T-cells and suppressor cells. i can't really remember anything. we're finishing immune system tomorrow and starting some other chapter. WE ARE GOING LIKE A BULLET TRAIN AND SOMEONE SHOULD JUST STOP HER.

chem was okay. no more falling asleep because it's atomic structure. :) yay i like atomic structure. haha. but i think we don't need to draw the electrons in the square boxes lah. WHY. i liked drawing the electrons haha. learnt it in jj during first 3 months. :D with rong and darrell. even more HAHA.

followed loyi to dabao jap food back to school. (i was forced again) then went back to hostel. then after a while annie smsed and wanted me to teach her math. haha. so i brought her up and she microwaved her food and i taught her math. actually she knows how to do everything, except that she keeps making careless mistakes all over the place. haiyo. it was really quite funny. she said i was drinking soy sauce (i was eating campbell's chunky soup. go figure.) and she played with my crazy sheep (from stonehenge) and complained about how grey it was when it started off white. haha. she can find all sorts of things to laugh about. :p

went back to school a bit early so i could print out my biblio before english. then we went up for english. and UGH thanks to stupid planning i only managed to write the intro + the topic sentence of the first body paragraph. THAT MEANS TOMORROW WRITE 3 BODY PARAGRAPHS. hai and probably need to think it through some more. because the question is whether homework is beneficial for students, not whether or not it should be banned. around the same, but some points are better for this topic. SO I NEEDED TO CHANGE. ah well. two lines left. i can do this. i hope. (haha don't mind me. i have become spoilt after doing english here. no way i could go back to GP. xD) wonder how jason's general studies went. oops i think they're not even over yet. ah well. 2 papers + math = 5 hours of exams, poor guy.

anyway i wanted to sleep when i came back. but after i do some other stuff, there won't be enough time to take a decent nap already. AND NO MORE BOOK TO READ.

either way. time between line 8 and dinner is always a waste of time. for that reason (plus i'd be able to wake up LATER), i wouldn't mind having a line3-line10 day. haha. yes, another way i've been spoilt. used to sleep at 1+ and wake up at 5.40, now i sleep at 12+/1+ and wake up at 7. :D haha.


it's a new day
but it all feels old
it's a good life
that's what i'm told
but everything
it all just feels the same


dysfunctional

i don't know how to plan essays. ended writing the whole entire thing, ugh. so what am i going to do, memorise the stupid thing and regurgitate during english? UGH. at least can memorise part by part haha. cos got 3 lessons to finish it what. :D but must PLAN. hai.

hmm. SILENCE can really be deafening.

BUT IT'S LIKE HOW TO START LAH. OUT OF NOWHERE. I REALLY CANNOT DO IT.

hmmm. supposedly going gown shopping with heather and wanz when we go back haha.

LET GO LET GO LET GO.
now that i think i can, i really should, shouldn't i?
no point in hanging on.
as long as i don't let go and then go back to that.
CANNOT. totally defeats the purpose.




do you really wanna be like them
do you really wanna be another trend
do you really wanna be part of that crowd
'cause i don't wanna ever
i don't wanna ever be you


didn't really want to. but ended up doing it anyway. i called ren while feeling the most horribly low. and she made me feel a lot better, even though i woke her up from her sleep.

THANKS REN! i <3 u! (:

before that i was walking around flagstaff. then i wanted to sit on the swing. but then some small boy and his dad went there, so i went to sit somewhere else first. then when they left, i went back and sat on the swing. just sat there and swung gently. then two irritating indian guys came. and one of them started to wipe the seat of the baby swing (there's only two- the one i was sitting on and the baby one). then i wanted to call ren and not let them listen to me ________ so i walked away. irritating people.

flagstaff was really cold today. probably cos it was raining a bit also. but i refused to come back until 5+.

i guess that in order to start something anew, you've got to go back to the beginning. and you've got to clear up the very thing that caused the problem in the first place. the very thing i dread.

my hands are burning up now. cold and hot at the same time. i hate that feeling.

and even though i hardly did anything, today's been an exhausting day. think i'll only do english tonight. gravitation and circular motion can wait a few days. tomorrow is math day. integration++.

_________________________________________

okay just had dinner. always get special treatment from uncle george cos i don't eat beef/lamb haha. today had ommelette instead of lamb. :) not bad.

then watched cheryl and heather and wc and dimple play table tennis. lijiawei. haha.

wc: hey expensive girl
i only have $1
is that enough?
me: enough for what?
wc: to buy you

like OHMYGOSH lah.

that was a few days ago.

lastnight.

wc: $2?
me: *rolls eyes and walks away


and now, of course, the question would be:
where do we start?

or maybe
how do we start?

after everything that's happened,
all the words left unsaid,
how exactly do we begin all over again?

by talking.
of course.

but i can't talk about it.
i don't know if you can, but i just can't.
perhaps writing it out would be easier.
but we both know it won't solve the problem, either.
we need to talk.

sermon today was supposedly on parenting.
but the preacher modified it because there were less than 20 parents in the 11.15 service.
so it ended up being about love, forgiveness, and dependency on the Lord. let go of the bitterness, and you will be set free.

so, it all boils down to the bitterness, huh?
so.. how do i let go?
i don't even remember when or how it all started.

don't really know what to say, really.
how do you start talking about things like this?
it's embarrassing and it makes you feel uneasy.
and you'd rather be anywhere else than there.

someone once asked me
do you talk a lot to her?
i answered
no, why?
she continued
she's a sensitive girl.
and i was like
so, she's sensitive, and i'm not?

people always see things from their own point of view.
but it's difficult, isn't it?
to turn around and see something from another perspective?

in my insecurity
i've always wondered what went on behind my back.
what people talked about.
for once, just this once
i'd like to know for sure
if they ever said anything about me.

maybe
just maybe
things are about to change
and maybe
they're about to change
for the better.


today has been an okay day. up till just now.

got up at 10+ and went to vic mart and flagstaff. sat down to eat jam donuts and read, then this china guy walked past with his dog. he kind of said hi, and his dog came running to me. :D so i patted him and he licked me. :D then he wanted to eat my donut haha. the guy dragged him away.

wanted to stay for a while longer, but it was too cold and my hands were freezing. so i walked back.

read a bit of bio. then i ate an apple. so my lunch was 4 jam donuts + 1 apple. hmm.

studied bio while doing other stuff off and on. finished reading the sunday wife. the build up was really good. up to the climax. the ending was not bad also. :) yay. must go find another book to read soon.

had dinner. sweet and sour pork. quite nice. i told uncle george enough already. then he said "enough?" and gave me some more. errrr.

lleufer was wearing birkies on one foot and flops on the other. crazy guy. and he didn't even realise it lah. mel went crazy over there being ginger in the sweet potato soup.

after dinner, went to sonali's (i dunno how to spell her name) room and started watching some indian show. haha the songs very nice leh. and it's like in english and hindi. + subtitles of course lah. the story quite funny. and the dances and songs very nice. x) haha. watched the whole second disc. + 2 songs.

went upstairs and was supposed to start studying. then loyi called me and asked me to accompany him to hungry jack's to dabao food. because he didn't go down for dinner. why? cos he was lazy. i said i was lazy to accompany him, but no, cannot.

came back and showered. then loyi asked me to give him my biblio for the homework essay. i was seriously quite irritated lah. _____________________ so irritated/ angry with myself that i couldn't really do work or study properly. so tonight has been quite a waste of time. haven't finished bio. i will finish before i sleep, but it's kind of like a half-hearted attempt, so i don't really know how it will turn out.

wanted to do physics also. but i think i can just forget about it.

tomorrow night do math and english. must decide on the 3 reasons + 1 rebuttal. decided to ban homework instead of not banning. actually i wanted to write don't ban. but after reading the articles, there are more points for banning. easier to write. ha. reminds me of the stupid homosexuality thing we did for promos(?) last year. remember sebas complaining about it on his blog.

oh loyi says there's this guy here who looks like sebas. actually he doesn't really. but he likes stripes also. ha. but he is full of vulgarities. stupid guy. everyday come here and play pool dunno for what. very free ah.

hai i am still not feeling like doing work.

can't wait for next weekend. even though that means like 5 days to midyears. haha. i'll be having exams same time as jason. :) and i made his day! haha but i bet rong makes his everyday.





"i don't want to study anymore."
"don't study lor."


all that i need

i'm sorry that i hurt you
i took for granted all you gave
so freely to me
i pray it's not too late
to save you from a broken heart
to promise you
i'll make a brand new start
believe me, when i say

you are all that i need
the only treasure i seek
you're the air that helps me breathe
through the darkest night when
i fall down on my knees
i was blind but now i see
you are all that i need

you know i'm far from perfect
like a child that needs a guiding hand
can you stay here with me?
i finally understand
you've always been the missing part
complete the jigsaw puzzle of my heart
please hear me, when i say

you are all that i need
the only treasure i seek
you're the air that helps me breathe
through the darkest night when
i fall down on my knees
i was blind but now i see
you are all that i need

please
let me hear your voice again
let me hear you say
your love will never end
that whatever it takes, you'll be there
believe me, when i say

you are all that i need
the only treasure i seek
you're the air that helps me breathe
through the darkest night when
i fall down on my knees
i was blind but now i see
you are all that i need
you are all that i need


okay i give up on chem already. for tonight. i cannot do redox. just simply cannot.

tons of work to do!

opi called. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

friendship is priceless. (:
YOU ALL MEAN A LOT TO ME.
<3


hmmm.

school wasn't too bad today. i guess.

we didn't start probability today. spent math going through the weird applications of integration questions.

asked dr w to explain some gravitation questions to me during physics. ms ong is much better though. but dr w's daughter went for an op today. :
line 3. printed the monash application forms and did chem practice test 5. didn't know how to do 3 questions. don't like equilibrium. but it's better than sulphuric acid.

did more immune system stuff for bio. bacteriophage.. can't remember what else. was quite sleepy. OH the SRC (student representative council) came in to do their ad for the formal. :D haha. alicia was there. the theme is hollywood glamour. :D

didn't fall asleep in chem today. :) did some of the mcqs at the back of the study guide while koney helped me work out the practice test questions i couldn't do, then listened when dr gooding explained one homework question.

had sushi for lunch.

english was quite bad today though. :\ kept getting caught by mrs b when i was talking! because at first phoebe and annie kept asking me questions. but they were about the essay! not fair. hai. then they kept making the chair down. you know cos it's those type of computer chair. then mrs b saw. :\ and asked me what i was doing. then after a while koney asked us about the formal and gowns and stuff and nike yenny me annie started talking about it lah then got scolded again. :( hai. and she overshot the time again so she didn't get to go over my essay with me. but i kinda expected it. aiyah. nevermind lah. i gave it to her to mark over the weekend.

some irritating girl singing really loudly outside. ugh.

after school went to the bank to get my bank drafts for all the applications. the lady told me they're called bank cheques if they're to be used in australia. anyway then she started telling me about her nephew who wanted to do physiology. then he worked really hard and did super well and then they asked him why he wanted to do physiology when he did well enough to do medicine. hurrr. but she was quite nice.

went back to hostel and accompanied loyi to sushi max for lunch.

went back to hostel and banged his door down. well. okay not really.

slacked and read the sunday wife before dinner.

dinner was mongolian lamb. disgusting. so uncle george made me pasta. which was also very not nice. :\ but the wanton soup was okay. and strawberry cheesecake was mmmm. x)

photocopied the homework articles for mel annie loyi and myself. then annie paid me with all the 5cents and 10cents lah. and australia coins are BIG FAT and HEAVY. :
tried to find points for the essay. even though we don't have the issue yet. but i guess it's whether or not to ban homework. haha. such a stupid thing to write about when this IS our homework. hmm.

going to shower soon, then do chem. and then physics. ugh there's just too much to do, i don't even know what i should do first.

australians do an average of 2 hours of homework a day. singaporeans do 3.5 hours. malaysians do 3.8. i don't believe haha. japanese only do 1.7! ha. but actually singaporeans do a lot more. just depends on what age group. like look at all you jc people lah. dying under piles of tutorials and everything.

anyway i'm going to argue that homework should be banned. :D more points haha. the nice thing about having articles is that you have all your points in front of you. the only problem is putting them into your own words and arranging them in a way that will make it really persuasive. :)

oh do biblio before showering!

syahir kind of explained the satac thing to me already. but i still don't get it. ugh.


"stop trying so hard."

"okay, i promise."

"you promise? yeah right."


really really tired.

chem was so irritating. in the end i gave up totally and just copied the answer to the last question. cannot be bothered already lah. always give so many million questions and expect us to finish. haven't do practice test 5 also. :
tried to finish math but i dunno a lot. ha. hope the test isn't this difficult.

oh they found out who stole mark's phone already. i think the guy is really stupid. like even if want to steal, go sell it lah. where got people steal the phone from someone then use it in front of them one? WITH THE WALLPAPER THE OWNER DOWNLOADED SOMEMORE LAH. please don't be so stupid. want to steal must be smarter a bit. but of course don't steal lah! hmm. it's quite sad though, i guess. i forgot what the stupid guy looks like even though he comes to my house for tuition every week! and to play the stupid xbox!

hmm. imagine if like one of your close friends steals something from you lah. actually no i can't imagine. hmm. just shows what your friends are really like. OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE. they cannot be trusted.

i am kinda hungry. loyi's fault for cooking indomie AGAIN.

bleah but i need to go and sleep. feel so tired now, imagine what it'll feel like tomorrow. ugh. later cannot drag myself out of bed. why is it that i never feel rested after sleeping?

but tomorrow is friday. the LAST DAY of the school week. need to print monash application form and photocopy the homework articles. the topic for our argumentative essay is homework; whether it should be banned or not. haha. it's a lot better than last time the water crisis thing. :p

okay go sleep. :)





fifteen.28

i'm tired. what's new?

miraculously, i managed to wake up on time despite sleeping at like 1.30am this morning.

i can't do math. OH NO.

can't do physics either, but that has to wait a while.

line 3. i wanted to do math but i just couldn't. blamed it on my sleeping late, but it was just an excuse.. i don't know. anyway then i started graffiti-ing the back of my math exercise book. with lyrics of songs as i listened to them on my ipod. haha. it is a big mess now. but i like it.

we started immune system for bio- p richards: "the immune system is so exciting!" wow. yup i'm sure, so exciting. anyway. finished excretion and yeah, started immune system. nothing much yet. bio needs to wait a while too.

chem. i really don't like chem lessons now. so boring and time passes so slowly. and i don't like sulphuric acid, besides. i'd much rather continue doing Le Chatelier. and she always gives us so much homework due the next day. and walks around checking every question. ugh.

cooked some noodle thing for lunch. threw in all sorts of nonsense like chicken crabstick prawns and an egg. haha. but not bad lah.

okay so next week will be total madness AGAIN.
here's the deal.

monday- english assessment: argumentative essay
tuesday- math test, english essay
wednesday- (the lightest day) watch gattaca, bio make-up lesson
thursday- english essay, bio test
friday- physics test, chem test

YOU SEE. ugh. disgusting week up ahead. must brace myself.

friday sleep early saturday wake up early go vic mart come back and MUG. okay okay.

can just say bye to da vinci code. UGH.

drink the milk before it expires TOMORROW. i need to go grocery shopping AGAIN. and buy a present for OPI. and there just isn't enough time.

FIFTEEN DAYS TO MIDYEARS.

ha. i might as well go and wash the dishes now so i can go to safeway after school and hopefully get some work done.


it's late; i'm tired.

didn't manage to finish physics midyear paper 2004. :\ but nevermind lah, a few questions left only. do in class tomorrow. then after that still got 2001 2003 2005 *shudders.

hmmm. i guess talking about that reminded me also. of how many times i've just said stuff without thinking first. of how it will affect the other person. so many million times lah. :\ and really, what's the point of like apologising after saying it right, since the damage is already done. people always say they take back what they said. how is that possible? it doesn't even make sense. english is so stupid, it doesn't make sense. people have always been twisting things around to suit their purposes. like the animal farm thing lah. what four legs good, two legs better or whatever crap lah. orwellian haha.

anyway i finished my english essay already. :) tomorrow getting articles! i will try not to be so irritated by irritating people.

specially for my dearest sis:
I MISS YOU.
tons and tons.
thanks for msging today. :)
was so happy to hear you! haha. in class some more.

it's tomorrow already. that means 28 days HAHA. and 15 days to midyears. :( i am SCARED.


haha. xieai dearest msged too. :D

"dunno if ur frenz told u already but, SA WON THE RUGBY MATCH AGAINST RJ! we're the champions for this yr!! 1st time in 17 yrs! so damn happy lars :)"

haha. ploughing through physics AGAIN. the questions are so repetitve lah. doing 2004 paper almost the same as doing 2002 paper. bleah.

time to look at the little orange book again. xD


the starting is always the same though..

1.
There was once an ugly
brown (i mean green) frog which
lived in blogspot.pond.
Then he saw a castle.
To go to the castle, go 10.
To stay in pond, go 5.
let's go to the pond this time.

5.
He decided to stay in the
pond. Suddenly, out of the blue,
gay purple barney came.
To hide, go 44.
To follow, go 9.
hiding is boring, let's follow.

9.
Barney brought him to
the same castle he
saw earlier on.
go 11.

11.
Then the barney
introduced himself.
"Hi, i'm lebby the flebby."
The frog saw no
resemblance of flebby
in the barney and..

12.
..thought that he was
weird.
To return to pond, go 24.
To continue in castle, go 17.
let's return to the pond this time.

24.
The frog was scared
and ran out of the castle.
"NO!!!" shouted barney
spastically.
Suddenly, a monster
fish emerged from the..

25.
..ground.
"OMG! how come got
fish from ground one?"
To attack, go 13.
To run back to castle, go 17.
To talk to 'her', go 3.
let's talk to her.

3.
"Hi, i'm sebby the saggy."
"no Hi to you... i'm a
crazy monster."
the frog thinked that
the fish was out of
'her' mind. "aiyo..."
why 'thinked'? haha

4.
"Aiyo what aiyo.." squeked
the frog.
To continue to talk to
her, go 43.
To return to castle, go 17.
To return to pond, go 44.
let's continue to talk to her.
what is 'squeked' anyway?

43.
"Please return to the
castle... the barney is evil.."
"OMG"
To attack the fish, go 13.
To return to castle, go 17.
let's attack the fish! muahaha.

13.
"HAIYA!" the frog
attacked with its feeble
tongue. the fish got
angry and ate him.
ywztqakjm....

-end of story-


oh ren just smsed me. :)

"WE WON RUGBY MATCH! FIRST TIME IN SEVENTEEN YEARS! YAY!"

hahaha. :) proud of them. bet this is gonna be a really big thing. haha. but yeah, good lah. beat AC AND RJ HAHA.


didn't get to call peiyu cos she went to take a nap. :
and for the millionth time- i HATE filling in application forms okay. especially when i don't know how to fill in half of the stupid blanks there IN BLACK INK and IN BLOCK LETTERS. and all the stupid bank drafts that i need to figure out for PQA + all the other application fees lah. every uni should be like UWA and not have an application fee. melb uni's application fee is $100 and it's impossible to get in. why waste a perfectly good $100?

crap.
oh well.

a uni of adelaide prospectus guide just appeared in my shelf. seriously.

TWENTY-NINE DAYS TO GO.
and counting.

SIXTEEN DAYS TO MIDYEARS.

before: summer

after: fall/autumn

printed all the uni application forms and ran out of print credit. because i had to print for loyi too. hai. so i went down and bought some more credit. $4, which can print like only 40 pages.

needed to rant about english. but i already did somewhere else, so.. :) hmm. not so irritated now. anyway, to cut a long story short, there are two irritating girls in my english class. one wants to be the teacher's pet, so she hangs on to every single word the teacher says, but behind her back, she reads her email and nonsense magazines in class. the other one wants me to help her with every assignment, and she's borrowed my paper for a week. grrrr.

I ATE TWO LUNCHES LAH MY GOODNESS. but my weight hovers between 44 and 46. that means what, i'm getting fatter, but not losing weight??

haha SOMEONE asked me out on friday night to watch da vinci code. I WANT TO WATCH LAH. but i don't want to watch with them. because i don't even know them right. so.. weird. so i don't know how. I REALLY WANT TO WATCH. anyway i told him i needed to talk on the phone haha. so.. i must talk on the phone.

called peiyu after school during GP lesson, when ms ngiam wasn't there and the prosecution and opposition were discussing stuff so that they would come to a draw? haha. my phone is always weird when i call her. :\ so i hung up and tried again. the second time it was much better. :) then they had math lect. i'm calling her later, after dinner.

went to buy sushi (my second lunch) and then went back. met ivan on the way and opened the door for him. :p he is forever waking up late and talking to his gf. haha. but she's really nice. :)

heather danced tango today in the middle of the 9th floor corridor lah my goodness. but i think the dance really quite nice leh HAHA. she keeps trying to make me join dance club. x) HOW. haha i think i shall go and watch the next meeting. :D

okay need to go wash dishes- the bane of my life.


got up at 8+am. (: amazing for a week2 wednesday. (:

left hostel at about 8.45am, went to flagstaff. walked around for a bit, then sat at the memorial and ate happy biscuit and listened.

then i read a bit of bio. circulatory system. then i got bored. besides, the swing was just there. :p so i went. haha. can't swing high. will get headache. so i just swung gently.. and thought.

wanted to go back to the memorial, but i was seriously too cold. so i came back to hostel. and tried to decide what to eat for lunch. cooked macaroni and chicken and some packet soup. :D experimented with food. haha. it was not bad. i don't have an aluminium tray. cannot cook pasta 2. haha. actually today was the first time i read the whole recipe, didn't realise that there were those funny things inside also haha.

okay i am being rushed to go to school SO EARLY i don't know why but well. bye (:


double dose
slapped on both cheeks

amazing how it changes

should've known, eh
silly me

well don't worry
i've learnt this time
no more mistakes


i missed raffles city today, don't ask me why.


hmm. second time? wonder if it will be an ongoing thing, should i just get used to it? of course it's scary while it lasts. but what to do? i realise that i'm dealing with a different person, i never had that promise. so.. is a promise from a person who never keeps his/her promise better than no promise at all? out of point, but well. what to do? they were just words. i didn't mean them. but if everyone only said what they meant.. i don't know. hmm. just shove it out of your mind and stop thinking.

i'm not even thinking that much.

guard my mouth.


finally, school is over. for today. it was just such an exhausting day, i don't even know why.

one thing for sure, interrupted sleep is not a good thing.

felt tired from the moment i got up. lay on the bed and wondered if there would come a day when i just felt too tired to go to school, and i'd just continue sleeping and not care.

rested in between math and physics, did math during line 3, and didn't do much in bio. was occupied by thoughts about the kidney and table dancing and the formal. haha. kept falling asleep in chem. after like dunno how long of not falling asleep in class lah. :\ worrying. and i didn't know how to answer the question she asked me because she phrased it in such a weird way lah. hai. thankfully, syahir helped me out.

line 6 went to visit the uni of adelaide expo. they ran out of prospectus guides, but they said they'd mail me one. anyway nike has an extra, so she said she'll give it to me. :) they said apply on friday. i don't know if i should. think i should call army soon. PQA is $130.

i'm taking
ISAT for monash, $147 (i think)
UMAT for UWA and UNSW(?), $186
PQA(?) for uni of adelaide, $130

wow. so what if i don't make it? waste of money eh. hmmm.

really really wanted to go to flagstaff today, but well. all the stupid household chores! and besides, i don't want to go if L and C are there haha. lightbulb only lah. don't want. i wish it was still bright at 7pm so i could go after dinner and not feel freaked out. :
oh, yesterday marked one month to going back! :) amazing, isn't it, how time flies. still remember that time i was talking to joanne (huang) and it was still 60+ days. :D yay!

okay need to go and wash stupid dishes now. and clear the rubbish etc. i am writing "what utter rubbish!" in my argumentative essay HAHA. i just think it's funny to write something like that.

tonight will be physics. MUG PHYSICS! because i dunno how to do anything, ha. seriously. quite scary. i am loathe to do physics argh. maybe math b would have been better. then again, wc is doing math b and he's like the smartest ever (besides syahir) and he got C+. :\ so.. i dunno.

maybe tomorrow i can wake up early and go to flagstaff before school. :)


can't you see, you've been replaced in more ways than one?
they said- we shouldn't expect anything from someone if we haven't done anything for them, yet we should give without expecting anything in return.


i dunno which unis to apply for! ahh!

hmm. so far-

monash
melb uni (impossible. i know)
uwa
uni of adelaide?
unsw?

i don't know already lah. okay go and find those papers mrs dawson gave us during the medicine talk.

okay i still don't know. is it meant to be like this? because everyone i know is confused about uni. YOU SEE. it's stupid. and confusing. and i just have no idea whatsoever. grrr.

happy that i did chem. finished chem! oh my. 14 questions on the irritating Le Chatelier's Principle okay.

and i tried to do bio. the kidney sheet. but really difficult. i mean. all the explanation then i'm just too lazy fullstop.

need to redo bio prac? i don't know how to answer the question because it is all about the liver and gall bladder when the rat doesn't have one. so how?

english essay.. i need to learn how to plan properly and cut down on words. lazy to write the essay now. but tomorrow i will make full use of class time to write. good thing i already showed her my plan. :)

OH need to sign gattaca consent form haha. feels quite primary school but well. okay lah even in jc also got. but anyway. quite stupid to ask you to sign consent form yourself right? because if you don't allow yourself to go then you will just not go what. so retarded. and $7.

still confused, but well. i'll ask nike to enlighten me tomorrow during physics. :D then go to the uni of adelaide expo and look look and ask questions. hmm.

don't feel like sleeping yet. so i'll go and do essay haha. hoepfully like at least one paragraph? x) we have until wednesday anyway. a long time. since wednesday is long lesson day. thursday getting articles. :)



i will offer up my life
in spirit and truth
pouring out the oil of love
as my worship to You
in surrender i must give
my every part
Lord receive the sacrifice
of a broken heart


EXTRA PAGES of the little orange book.




HAHAHA just what i needed. :D i think kevin is hilarious lah. we'll cover another trail some other day when i need to.


you don't ever understand, do you? that the words you speak have an impact on others. no, you're not the only one going through that. i'm still bleeding from that cut. you're not the only one who lost someone you loved.





hmm. isn't it just weird to see how things change for other people when you're not there? of course it's just like a baby growing up, if you see him everyday then you won't notice the growth as much as if you only see him/her once in a while. or maybe talk. hmm. ha well in this case it's different i guess. i don't know.

why does chem lesson pass so slowly? really cannot stand it. everytime i look at the clock it's only 12pm when lesson ends at 12.30. and i really hate le chatelier.

i got half mark less than syahir for bio! p richards was so funny. she returned me my paper last, then she leaned towards me and said "guess what, he beat you by a half mark!" haha for once it's not one full mark. but still. i am not improving. because we both got lower marks.

will the rice cooker spoil if you keep banging it?

i need to do more physics questions. i can't remember anything we've learnt since the beginning of term. like optics and waves. arghh. MIDYEARS.


haha i do english until cannot do anymore. not that i don't like it anymore. it's just that.. talking to people on msn can just kind of take over until you don't feel like doing work anymore. xD

i actually quite like talking to jeremy on msn. (sebas shut up) it's a lot better than talking to him in person. haha. he is sfc camp commandant lah! ohmygosh WHY CAN'T I BE THERE! must ask people to take photo and sabo him. :D haha he wants to kill me because he is super stressed now. add oil! (he is kinda chinese illiterate HAHA)

OH one more good good thing about this english essay is that it is individual! :) no more hongkongers stealing bits and pieces of my essay haha.

just too lazy to do math, i'll do it some other time. along with bio. oh crap BIO PRAC. :\ okay bio prac tomorrow line 3. the rest can just go and bury themselves under a pile of books for a while.

called peiyu for a while just now. :) she was at novena with alvin HAHA. doing GP essay. poor thing. and she had sore throat! :( get well soon sis! strepsils and water! and stop talking! heh. and i reminded her about chem test lah. she totally forgot about it. :\ everybody please remind everybody when there are tests can. everybody seems to like not know. like sebas didn't know until rong told him. haiyo. anyway we talked for like 7mins+ only. cos her throat was dying. :\ but we will talk again soon when she's freer next week. :) sms me! oh sis! dessert was watermelon today. :)

haha i like spontaneous calls! x)

okay i am going to sleep now. might as well, since i'm not doing anymore work. sleep early wake up early and don't sleep in school! yay. haha. mad already.


argh i am in such a don't-want-to-do-anything mood. :\ if this continues i'm not going to ever get anything done.

read a lot today. that's about all i did- and eat. eat and read and try to find new skins and eat and read. the sunday wife is a not bad book, but i'd say vanishing acts is much better.

my table is still in a huge mess and i really need to get it sorted out. tomorrow, hopefully, when i'm feeling like i could actually do anything but waste time.

still need to get english and math done tonight. if i can't get a math textbook then i'll just forget about it and maybe do it during line 3 or something. or maybe just sleep this whole thing away.

really need to shower. very badly. at 8pm. then after that start english. i must.

and someone has a new hairstyle! and it's super funny lah i think everyone who sees it will just burst out laughing. okay lah maybe not. must compare with the old hairstyle then you will really laugh. i'll try to get photos? but that would be quite mean haha. okay better not.

seems like there's a lot of stuff to be done, but i'm just not in the mood to get them done.

i get to have my bed back when i go back. :) celeste is currently using it. so. i'm happy. :) quite, anyway. i think it won't be difficult to get back to the routine, actually. even though it's been quite long. because when you're in that place, you just do what comes naturally to you, in that environment. not cooking anything, not washing the dishes, not clearing the rubbish, not washing the clothes, not vacuuming, not cleaning the toilet.. basically, letting people take care of you.

i am halfway through clearing my table now. :) cos i wanted to run a cd on the comp, but realised that i couldn't open the cd drive, so i gave up and decided to start clearing. once you start, it isn't so hard. ha.

heather's sis made jelly for us. :) it's nice and purple and grapey. haha.

________________________

went down to borrow math textbook and watch a few jay chou mtvs (i was forced into it), then came up and finally finished clearing my table. :) so neat now lah haha. okay fine not that neat, but still, much neater than before. so much more SPACE now. :) yay.



30000 children die everyday from easily-prevented diseases.
1 woman dies every minute during pregnancy or childbirth.
800000 people go to bed hungry everyday.

so, what is the world doing about it?


webcammed with rong may shuwei yesterday, got a few weird screenshots. :D








and i was talking to jem on msn.

colder is the night but colder still is a heart of stone turned from clay says:
yo
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
hey :)
colder is the night but colder still is a heart of stone turned from clay says:
argh
pulling my hair out preparing for camp
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
haha
when is it?
colder is the night but colder still is a heart of stone turned from clay says:
26th to 29th
when will u be back in spore?
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
26-29 june? may?
colder is the night but colder still is a heart of stone turned from clay says:
may
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
i'll be back on 15june
haha
colder is the night but colder still is a heart of stone turned from clay says:
aww
haha
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
why so early lah
unfair
colder is the night but colder still is a heart of stone turned from clay says:
maybe can organise sfc outing specially for u
haha
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
haha
colder is the night but colder still is a heart of stone turned from clay says:
cos must be
got make up lessons in june i think
hmm
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
oh okay.. hmm
colder is the night but colder still is a heart of stone turned from clay says:
so hows things there?
fishtails- making her way back from mars says:
oh yah 26 june is like BT2 already lah
colder is the night but colder still is a heart of stone turned from clay says:
yeah

i want to go for camp, but oh well. haha jiayou jem! :D


saw steph along swanston street after church and dabao-ing food for loyi. :)


i need to change blogskin, seriously. this is so.. SAME. cannot stand it already lah. but cannot find nice one also. HOW.


hmmm. think i really have too much time.

watched vj's video ah ma. okay that was the previous year's. quite good but a bit scary also. hmmm.

i am eating too much!

don't intend to continue doing bio. hate explanation questions. especially when they're repetitive. tomorrow do math and english and that's IT.

oh- the irony. haha. stop being so stupid! remember! learn from the past lessons. you can never trust____.

anyway. sebas has a point system for his friends! so you better go read his blog and make sure you chock up points HAHAHA. oh and if you act smart -2 points some more. haha. so retarded but oh well. apparently everyone goes by this system right. haha. nobody wants to hear you study chem sebas. -12 points also dowan. :D ionic eqm is what?

and my honeystars supply is being depleted. no more star mouth haha.

happy mother's day


i am amazed at my saturday. i haven't even started doing any work. :
almost went to flagstaff. but i was wearing flops and it was almost dinner time. so i decided against it. even though for once i had my ipod with me. haha.

hmmm. i guess it's only when you actually talk about it that you know for sure. unfounded worries? maybe. i don't know.

no more rain-

CHOCOLATE.

talked to rong on msn and webcammed and saw may! :) haha. she had pig intestines around her neck, and rong was blue. as in she was literally blue in colour. worse than white right? haha.


haha i just cooked rice! the first time in my life. :D and it is actually not bad lah. haha. with army's chicken+mushroom thing. :) good lunch.

hmm. it was good sleeping in. again. haha saturdays are the time to repay sleep debt. EXCEPT THAT I MISSED ALL THE MSN CONVOS. like thesman who hardly ever says hi. and fat-elephants whom i haven't talked to in ages. and amy who owes me wangwang drink. :D AND JASON NEVER SAY HI TO ME LAH. :(

and i am going to clean the toilet later. haha. cleaned the sink and toilet bowl already. it looks so nice. :D haha stopped to eat lunch. later continue again.

that means tonight mug. hmmm lunch is really quite good because it tastes more like home than anything i've ever eaten here before.

haha i suddenly remember how some teachers used to say "look at here". so funny. but here you won't ever get any teacher who says stuff like that lah.

and i got back my OP marks and rebuttal paragraph. haha i quite like argumentative essay writing here, it's a lot more interesting that anything i remember from SA. because of the things you can say also. :D and we only need 3 reasons (arguments) and 1 rebuttal (counter-argument + rebuttal). AND also cos all our points are kind of like given to us in the form of articles. so you can find pretty strong arguments without cracking your brain. heard that we're getting our articles for the assessed essay on friday. then writing the next week. hopefully the topic is something interesting. i'm quite looking forward to it. :) haha what a contrast to GP.

okay go clean toilet. :D


HAHA i just saw the physics video by mr fong, ms ong and cynthia tan lah. SO FUNNY MY GOODNESS. i can't believe they actually did that. ms ong looked so cute. :D haha and kuo-er totally reminded me of rowdy fong + danger wah! :D ahaha. kungfu dynamics.

and i saw the other video also! the documentary on the chef ex-convict guy. i think it's very good lah. haha. but cannot play properly then quite irritating. but nice. :) and guess who's name i should see at the end. teacher facilitator: MS A GOVIN. i was like omgosh. SO PW LAH. haha. and of course mr fong. :D

but don't have the richard gere ad lah. the one with all the birds and the credit card went bust cos buy too many birds? <- rong tell me one. i want to see! haha.

watched a few others. the appreciate maids one is good.

so slack. never do work. dunno how to do bio prac cos of all the weird questions. like the one on the bile duct + gall bladder + liver when the rat doesn't even have a gall bladder? so.. yeah. ask syahir on monday. :D

should sleep early and wake up early- uncle george's going away soon. NO MORE PORRIDGE FOR BREAKFAST ON SATURDAYS. ha. not as if i always have breakfast on sat anyway. sleep in day.



and when you finally see that letting go is the only way you'll stop hurting yourself.. then hopefully you'll learn to do it.


I DUNNO LA. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY. i give up.

physics test was a bit stupid. as in he returned us our paper and it was just stupid. i don't understand.

we started the irritating kidney nephron thing today.

and i still don't quite understand chem prac.

and so the sentosa trip was CANCELLED LAH oh man. :( no wonder. nevermind, there will be other opportunities to unbleach. you know why? cos you're in sunny singapore.

happy vesak day. it's oh-so-happy, isn't it? right. crap i am worried for ______. tomorrow.

AMY IS IT THE WANGWANG MILK DRINK? :D

i think i'm eating too much. going to grow really fat.

english lesson is just hilarious. we can write "utter rubbish!" in our argumentative essays. :D

looking forward to the weekend. i am just going to sleep and sleep and sleep. but actually i need to get bananas also. hmmm. how?


"i hate you, you're always manipulating me."


called rong. (: cos she smsed.

haha. laughed a lot and talked for about 40mins i think. :) aiyah tomorrow's a holiday for them lah. UNFAIR. haha she told me a lot of stuff about the careers fair thing and soccer match and personality test and mr fong's videos at assembly. :D so funny lah. can just imagine. :D i found it at the moe website but couldn't see. oh well. and ren's verbal diarrhoea (well kinda. but i still wonder how she knows) and the debate and my stupid photo falling from the noticeboard. and i demanded that they be taken off again, but well. i know nothing will happen.

then she reminded me that 9may was joseph's birthday! and i forgot to wish him! :\ i knew it lah. haha reminded me of the scary things cheewei told us that time at cine. ha. so when i saw him online just now i wished him. :D 2 days late lah my goodness. but well. better late than never! especially since i haven't talked to him for.. quite some time. and it has always been weird haha. but now quite okay already lah i think. :)


fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
hey
happy belated birthday! haha
joseph says:
hey. hi.
haha
thks
wah, quite the belated arh
haha
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
haha sorryyyy
i kinda forgot :joseph says:
u in town?
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
town? as in singapore?
haha nope
joseph says:
i see
u coming back soon or something?
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
i'm going back on 15 june 5 week's time
joseph says:
i see.
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
yup
how's school?
joseph says:
acjc is hmmm. interesting
haha
going to have a long weekend
tml's vesak day and because of elections, tues next week is a public holiday for the school
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
wah
joseph says:
and I don't think im going back to school on mon
haha
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
so good! i also want
we get very few hols here
joseph says:
what's the duration of a typical day in school?
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
er.. 8am to 3.20pm everyday
same timetable everyday leh
so boring
haha
joseph says:
not too bad
for us, a day can be as long as till 5pm
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
hmmm yeah true.
jc's a lot tougher than foundation
im learning like one third of what u all are learning
joseph says:
i see. then aft this u going uni?
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
yup
joseph says:
in australia?
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
yup
that's why i came here in the first place
anw i gtg
take care k
cya
joseph says:
bye...
cya


haha. short convo. but well. it was better than nothing. and i want a five-day holiday too.

on the other hand.. i really don't know what's happening. or what happened? tell me. but you won't. why? what made things so different from what they used to be? lost, confused, perplexed. and you don't make anything better. rahhhh.


haha susanna says she's feeling bleached. ME TOO. i can't believe how white i've become. :( it's really quite bad. :( i need to spend a lot of time regaining my brownness in sentosa haha. but i console myself with the fact that rong would become even whiter if she stayed here for 3months+. :D it's TRUE.

AND YES RONG SLEPT ON THE SAME BED AS JASON. and er kanesh. haha. is it? i really can't remember. should be. :D so funny haha. i want to go ren's house AGAIN. it's like chalet. :D

rong remember to say hi to mr fong and ms ong for me. :) thanks.

haha suddenly missed harbourfront again. actually i miss XXL chicken more. oh my. i can taste it. + mcwings and all the memories of harbour. sentosa, breakfast at macs, mugging at macs, food junction, sfc camp, dinner after cmw, bringing XXL chicken to food junction, yoshi, claire, the pet shop, pasta, being chased away by the security guards and rong's big pizza place. and the suan mei that peiyu and rong got for ren but i ended up eating it all. haha. well, almost.


because i never said no.


haha i forgot to mention that i received this letter from school. when dr w gave it to me i was like. oh my gosh what is that.

then i opened it and it read Principal's Encouragement Letter. haha.

anyway. i don't like the last part of the letter:

Please ensure you continue to work at this very high level for the remainder of your course.

what a way to phrase it lah. please ensure..?! so encouraging hor. ha. he is being demanding, and the natural reaction would be to rebel, but. ha. it's not as if you can, this time.

oh and i failed my english homework, ahhhhhh. :( well. what to expect. think i should have just done it and handed it in the next day. but it was friday! or was it not? aiyah. too late. it will count for my 'homework' remarks on the next report, but won't actually contribute to my marks. so.. ha.

need to read the articles for the practice essay.

had a sudden craving for apples just now, so i went to buy. :D

and dinner is the yucky pork thing. :\ i don't likeeee.

today melbourne uni visited our school. hmm. VCE students need to get 96 at least for medicine, and they're guaranteed a place if they get 99.75. who on earth gets 99.75, please tell me. ugh.

hmm hmm hmmm. don't feel like doing homework! there's going to be another calculus test before midyears. and dr gooding said that there are two weeks to midyears! actually no lah there are 3. dunno if there are lessons between midyear papers, since they're so spread out.

they say that if you do A's, they'll take 10% off your final score. wah that means confirm cannot do medicine already lah. good thing my highest qualification is only O's hahaha.

physics prac
bio prac
read english
read bio
do bio questions (millions undone)
oh no. :(


making her way back from mars

(: i'm feeling happy. haha. this is so weird.

woke up late today. and because i hate rushing, i just did everything at the usual speed. last time i would need to rush like MAD so that i could have milk+ before going to school. now if i get up late i just don't have breakfast. ha.

anyway then loyi called me halfway and rushed me to go down cos he was alone. so, being nice, i went down. :p we've been going to school later and later these days.

math- definite integrals

physics- that stupid boring video on the roman arch + gothic arch. really boring.

line 3- finished math + physics stress/strain questions

bio- drew an alveolus and started excretion

chem- equilibrium + pH

got my english articles back from phoebe, finally. she was supposed to return them yesterday morning. hai. so i haven't read any of them. how to write the essay like that? :
think i should go post my stuff before going back to school. and ignore english. ah well. rat prac due monday. how random.


The Angelic Test - EDITED after talking to sebas HA.

You're an angel if you scored below 60. And there's absolutely no reason for you to lie. So be honest.

1) smoked passively
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 2

11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal jaywalking included, right?
17) cut yourself by accident
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 6

21) missed curfew so many times
22) stayed out all night at chalet
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself a small little carton
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket a movie ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club country club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL: 5

31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything those stupid markers in sharon koh's class
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands at camp
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 3

41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something sebas' food, or so he claims
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted HAHA
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room sebas; to bathe hahaha
TOTAL: 3

51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut actually i'm not sure about this one. kanesh..? but it was stupid.
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposite sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush
TOTAL: 2

61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school during first 3 months
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL: 4

71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed all the time
TOTAL: 2

81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence just; by sebas, for no reason
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL: 5

91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool not pool, sea can?
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 3

thirty-five! haha and some of it was quite nonsensical haha. well. i think it's quite easy to be angelic. :D



anyway. did chem and math. and plotted the points for the graph of F against average extension for physics prac, but decided against actually drawing the line of best fit + Kmax + Kmin in case they decide to manipulate the readings tomorrow. or later today.


RONG!!
CHINCHOW TALKED TO ME ONLINE! :D
are you jealous? ahaha.


[n]ova says:
haha i realli like tt song a lot
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
haha the making her way back from mars?
[n]ova says:
that IS a song rite?
hahaha
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
yeah!
so help me
[n]ova says:
hahhahaha
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
i cant rmb the song anymore
[n]ova says:
alrite, bt it sounds realli nice
is that one of those windy things u wind and it plays a cute tune?
haha very cool
fishtails-. the watermelon garden says:
haha
yup


okay the rest of the convo (don't worry rong, it was really short :D) is quite nonsense so let's just forget it.


talked to xieai too, she started this crazy search for 'leo' on friendster. she's on the 37th page! my goodness. she says she'll go watch jewel in the palace and continue her search tomorrow. what on earth is jewel in the palace?

hmm today's was about taking the initiative. i think i read it last night before i slept (it was already the next day) and my eyes almost popped out of my head. he has the most amazing ways of speaking, huh. until i got that email today and it kinda pulled me down a bit because i don't like to be told what to do when the person on the other end has no idea what's going on. and that was also because i read it after getting back my chem test and i was in a lousy mood. as the day wore on it got better. :) ivan reminded me that i am not so smart. haha. and yup there was progress in that area. just don't bug me about it okay. it's not as if everything can just change overnight right? it's not even supposed to. just let it gradually change/develop and then it'll be okay. imagine if everything suddenly changed the next day. it would be so obvious. sometimes i wonder what my problem is. ha i think i've mentioned this here before.

okay enough reflecting, i need to go and sleep. everyday i wake up feeling dead tired but i can still last until 12+, ha. even with solitaire, which makes the mind go to sleep. i haven't even packed. ah well. HURRY UP LAH YOU.

okay just packed. medomycin, then sleep. :)