fri..suddenly i received a sms from soohui....*i must scare her off by my previous post*...sorry gal,but i'm hmm kinda fine now!...hehe....went out ml n kell last weekend..so a bit cheer up d:)
i din noe wat to blog today, practically so blank...js wishing for my merdeka holiday!!...altho it is js 3 days...but still 3days!!...hohoho~...wish it could be longer..haiz....
recently i really got culture shocked!i was almost fainted when i found out something...well,how could anyone in tis world would stay at home, never study, never work for like...hmm years d?depending on parents n bf or should i say guys which are close to her?tis i should relate back to my past post-'Nowadays'...the gal who can sleeps around n this is tat gal!...oh my..oh my...i js cant take tis!...
i js dun understd how on earth there's a such girl?...is she selling herself or earning some side moneys from her body?*i'm sorry tat i'm being so sarcastic or rude to this type of girl which i cant even respect a single at all...*-"Freedom of Speech Here"...can anyone answer me why there's such person ar???....i seriously dun understand...is there any guys will want this type of girl ar?or is she training herself being a housewife?...oh gosh...i js dun understand...worst of all,i dun understand will there any guy want to marry her?oh, probably she can satisfy them sexually...-sex are basic needs according to Maslow Theory-...so probably there are...oh gosh,i js cant cant accept there's such girls!!!....one word...worst than a commercial sex workers!..so she suits more to a "B*tch Pro***tute"...oh no....
okie, i should stop blogging about her...i js couldnt believe thr's such thing happening~....peinee,stop tis!...
wel,chaoz from now...let me clear my mind wif tis type of girl....
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
From the inmate~
nowadays,i feel that my emotions werent as stable as it could be....duno whether is it due to attending too much psychology classes and self preparing to hospital bahagia....
~panicking was my major problem now, heart beats so so fast each time i started to explore my feelings and then...i will break down...what i mean break down is cry,tears will just roll down without it getting control...so many doubts that i always wanted to clear,tat's why i explore but i js couldnt take it~
life had been so difficult for me...being up and down so many times in a day, it wasnt tat easy..*trust me*....i dint know why or how these feelings will come about to me...i'm so afraid each time i started to feel emotionally unstable...i was so afraid that i might go into depression and i might need medication to control it..
*last night, i couldnt close my eyes to sleep at all...my brain js cant stop thinking of every possible things tat come about...i woke up,get a cup of milk...hopefully can sleep better wif it...after drinking, i went back to bed...turning round round the bed, thinking of a lot of things*practically sad things*...then i started crying...then i try calm myself down,gettin up again to the toilet this time...had a face wash and back to bed...i put on headphones and listen to my mp4...trying to sleep but js couldnt!!!...till my mp4 run out of battery...i haf to off it,then i stare widely at the ceiling,wanting to wake up and study...but i know nothing could go in...adrenaline was running high all the time-effect of it was js couldnt get away!...*
i occupied my free time nowadays wif lots of activities...swimming, sleeping, online....and every possible thing that i could do so that nothin will run wild...i really need to learn a good coping mechanism and i need SUPPORT and LOVE!...thanks tat thr are stil few frens around who are so willing to support me,hoping that i wont crash myself down...
falling down from high high place,*phew*...i never wana try it again cause i know how it hurts...and how it feels like...getting up and walking back isnt easy after falling wif bruises...
hopefully i can recover fast~
p/s:written from a mentally challenged patient.
~panicking was my major problem now, heart beats so so fast each time i started to explore my feelings and then...i will break down...what i mean break down is cry,tears will just roll down without it getting control...so many doubts that i always wanted to clear,tat's why i explore but i js couldnt take it~
life had been so difficult for me...being up and down so many times in a day, it wasnt tat easy..*trust me*....i dint know why or how these feelings will come about to me...i'm so afraid each time i started to feel emotionally unstable...i was so afraid that i might go into depression and i might need medication to control it..
*last night, i couldnt close my eyes to sleep at all...my brain js cant stop thinking of every possible things tat come about...i woke up,get a cup of milk...hopefully can sleep better wif it...after drinking, i went back to bed...turning round round the bed, thinking of a lot of things*practically sad things*...then i started crying...then i try calm myself down,gettin up again to the toilet this time...had a face wash and back to bed...i put on headphones and listen to my mp4...trying to sleep but js couldnt!!!...till my mp4 run out of battery...i haf to off it,then i stare widely at the ceiling,wanting to wake up and study...but i know nothing could go in...adrenaline was running high all the time-effect of it was js couldnt get away!...*
i occupied my free time nowadays wif lots of activities...swimming, sleeping, online....and every possible thing that i could do so that nothin will run wild...i really need to learn a good coping mechanism and i need SUPPORT and LOVE!...thanks tat thr are stil few frens around who are so willing to support me,hoping that i wont crash myself down...
falling down from high high place,*phew*...i never wana try it again cause i know how it hurts...and how it feels like...getting up and walking back isnt easy after falling wif bruises...
hopefully i can recover fast~
p/s:written from a mentally challenged patient.
Protection@
tears are rolling and staying to protect the eyes...
ground of happiness to protect the vulnerable heart...
growing with nothin but blood...
that bleed from deep down in d heart...
smiles tat used to have...
are those that covers everything left...
-pnee-
in d midst~
life is js like a roller coaster...
sometimes it's up and sometimes it js goes down~doooop!~
should i go back mlk tmr o js stay in kl and study?.....haiz....how how?....
if i stay in kl...i haf to study!....but i will rot n rot n rot~
if i go back, then i wil play n play...study hmmm less or maybe none....
how?
do i miss u...i do n i do:(
-pnee-
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Previews~
weekends...back to mlk....
nowadays i was so into movie....everydy movie all week round!...my latest movie...wall-e!
it was kinda cute n surprising to me because at the beginning of the movie i thought it was kinda boring but it turned out to be great~~..i din know that robots could fall in love and haf feelings!....agrh~it's js so sweet**
oh ya..not forgetting, i tried on the couple seats in gsc dp mlk...hmm,it was kinda spacious unfortunately it has the hand rest which can brings up and it was very irritating because altho u bring it up,it hits onto ur back which hurts!....
then, the next movie is star wars!
well, it was kinda nice but all the while is jedi jedi and jedi....and lil stinky~....haha....and u havent learnt about wat is three moons appearing at one time, u can see it in this movie!...if u're a star wars fan, i bet u must watch this....if u arent star wars fan....hmm,i guess go for another movie....
and guess wat, when i went to watch star wars, there''s only 10 people occupying the whole big cinema which can fit up to 200+ people~...phew!...we went to buy the ticket an hour earlier and they told us they might cancel the movie because only 4 people bought it!....but we insisted on buying cause if they really cancel, they will refund us tho~....well, we were fortunate because the movie was on...haha...
-pnee~
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
"tong"...
this is all i see during lectures today....
all because of the gastric pain since yst....
........i hate tis!........
........i hate tis!........
Monday, August 11, 2008
Nowadays~
SMOKING~...
smoke the smoke...and the habit is called smoking!
smoking is a habit or an addict or js a style of presenting self?to me, smoking is nothing but just harming self...but to think twice, consume alcohol is also an act of harming self...i drink but i dun smoke, yet i still harming myself rite?
recently i went out wif a few frens of hay...few of them i expected them to be smokers, but wat for girls which are younger than me and looks kinda decent?...i know of the phrase,"don't judge a book by its cover"...but to my surprise, they wasn't as what i think they was...wat had happened to youngster nowadays?
incidents that strucked me for a moment to ponder but ending up no clues or ideas to it~...
1) Let's name this girl A.
She was a 20 y/o college girl and looks decent*in my eyes*...She was from a broken family where her parents were divorced years back then...She was quite pretty tho and has a boyfriend back in her college...Once i went out wif her, she took a box of cigarrete (Large Pall Mall Light!) out from her bag. I thought it was her friend's but it turns out to be hers. She took one stick out and lit it up. She started to take few puffs...Then continously, she smokes when others do~...she said she is a "social smoker"....what does this social smoker means??
2) Let's name this girl B.
She was a 20 y/o girl and she looks decent too *in my eyes at the first sight*...background of her i wasn't that clear because i wasn't close to her at all*precisely i dint even want to know about her*she has a bf and things she know shocked me deeply... she was telling about how does few drugs look like*i mean those drugs that they will take in clubs,pubs,etc*...she then took out a stick of cigarrete and started to puff all way through..."social smoker" it seems~....then i found out that she do go sleeps wif other guy without letting her bf knows of course!...worst of all, she still cheats on her bf!...thn i heard from my fren said that she tells everyone that she stil love her bf and appreciates her relationship!!!....*omg i was like, what type of girl is this?*...only word that came thru my mind at that moment was..B-I-T-C-H...i was wondering from guy's point of view, if you're that guy who is her bf wat will u do if u found out?...and if you're the guy who she slept with and hiding all the while from her bf, what will you do?...
what is wrong with people nowadays?..is it that the one second of happiness will kills away your whole lifetime sufferings?i really just dun understand...where have all the faithful, innocent and down-to-earth girls hide to?
-pnee~
smoke the smoke...and the habit is called smoking!
smoking is a habit or an addict or js a style of presenting self?to me, smoking is nothing but just harming self...but to think twice, consume alcohol is also an act of harming self...i drink but i dun smoke, yet i still harming myself rite?
recently i went out wif a few frens of hay...few of them i expected them to be smokers, but wat for girls which are younger than me and looks kinda decent?...i know of the phrase,"don't judge a book by its cover"...but to my surprise, they wasn't as what i think they was...wat had happened to youngster nowadays?
SEX~...
feel the Lust and Excitement...and the act is intercourse...
not only smoking takes place, multiple sex partners are also happening around us!...just that we're ASIAN who always sweep everything down the carpet...some do talk about it openly, without feeling embarrass of it but feeling it as an act of grandeur!...when they were sexually aroused, everything just don't go through their thinking part...everything can be consider later but not to push away the feeling of lust and excitement that are coming on the rise..don't they afraid of all the sexually transmitted diseases (STD) which are escalating now? and how often one couple can be honest to each other?
incidents that strucked me for a moment to ponder but ending up no clues or ideas to it~...
1) Let's name this girl A.
She was a 20 y/o college girl and looks decent*in my eyes*...She was from a broken family where her parents were divorced years back then...She was quite pretty tho and has a boyfriend back in her college...Once i went out wif her, she took a box of cigarrete (Large Pall Mall Light!) out from her bag. I thought it was her friend's but it turns out to be hers. She took one stick out and lit it up. She started to take few puffs...Then continously, she smokes when others do~...she said she is a "social smoker"....what does this social smoker means??
2) Let's name this girl B.
She was a 20 y/o girl and she looks decent too *in my eyes at the first sight*...background of her i wasn't that clear because i wasn't close to her at all*precisely i dint even want to know about her*she has a bf and things she know shocked me deeply... she was telling about how does few drugs look like*i mean those drugs that they will take in clubs,pubs,etc*...she then took out a stick of cigarrete and started to puff all way through..."social smoker" it seems~....then i found out that she do go sleeps wif other guy without letting her bf knows of course!...worst of all, she still cheats on her bf!...thn i heard from my fren said that she tells everyone that she stil love her bf and appreciates her relationship!!!....*omg i was like, what type of girl is this?*...only word that came thru my mind at that moment was..B-I-T-C-H...i was wondering from guy's point of view, if you're that guy who is her bf wat will u do if u found out?...and if you're the guy who she slept with and hiding all the while from her bf, what will you do?...
what is wrong with people nowadays?..is it that the one second of happiness will kills away your whole lifetime sufferings?i really just dun understand...where have all the faithful, innocent and down-to-earth girls hide to?
-pnee~
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
L-ame!
it's wednesday...no rain, no sun...so we went swimming! guess what, i wore my bikini and i reached thr...thr was like two guys sitting down doin nothing but staring at us...then i looked at my fren, we smiled and say how are we suppose to take out our clothes le?...hmm,i look at them and say wat are you all wearin,none wearing bikini!...oh gosh...then they wentto the side and took out...so i have to take out oso lar...so faster jump into the coolin water pool...wow,long time din swim, a bit tired now oso...
and thn went over to janet's house and bathe...haha...i realised i lose about an inch!!....the pants that i cant wear last time..i can wear it again!!...woo hoo~...
after that went back to campus...to see the rehearsal of the singing competition...my god, the sound system was like shit!...the sound is too piercing into my ears till i dun even want to hear...i called hay and asked him how, so he told me...then i went and tell the people, so they realised that...then things a bit better and i'm like the sound engineer there...telling them to cut off the sound more...*cheeky me trying to act smart*...haha...maybe cause i followed hay too much and learnt a lot from him d,but still cant get the perfect sound...if he was here, things would definitely be better:P
but nowadays i feel like filling up my time wif every possible things in the world so that i dun tink so so muchie...tat's y haf to go here and go there....try to do lots of stuffs...will it be successful if i really dun tink so much anymore?...
btw...i'm goin out wif xia shien to william!...he's d fault for making me gaining weight now....
so gtg nw...til thn...pnee~
and thn went over to janet's house and bathe...haha...i realised i lose about an inch!!....the pants that i cant wear last time..i can wear it again!!...woo hoo~...
after that went back to campus...to see the rehearsal of the singing competition...my god, the sound system was like shit!...the sound is too piercing into my ears till i dun even want to hear...i called hay and asked him how, so he told me...then i went and tell the people, so they realised that...then things a bit better and i'm like the sound engineer there...telling them to cut off the sound more...*cheeky me trying to act smart*...haha...maybe cause i followed hay too much and learnt a lot from him d,but still cant get the perfect sound...if he was here, things would definitely be better:P
but nowadays i feel like filling up my time wif every possible things in the world so that i dun tink so so muchie...tat's y haf to go here and go there....try to do lots of stuffs...will it be successful if i really dun tink so much anymore?...
btw...i'm goin out wif xia shien to william!...he's d fault for making me gaining weight now....
so gtg nw...til thn...pnee~
Monday, August 4, 2008
First day~
first day back to class and lectures...
phew*...feel a bit awkward after so long of holiday and being away from imu...
after we haved our session with the dean of health sciences, he told us tat imu was awarded as the third placing for malaysia best architect...i dun understand tat at all til he said that it's because our building colours and stuffs like tat!....oh imu is so nice huh?...hehe...
then tis sem i was kinda free...a lot of times class ends early till i dont even know what am i supposed to do now...online oso like boring...so blog!...am i right?....i'll be back for a few weeks then i will go off again for postings and stuffs like that...d worst thing is that during the new year...i mean the 1st of jan i have to stay at home n study!!....cause the following week will be my finals for tis sem...i hate tat the most...so much of holidays....so much of time now, can i donate some away or keep it in d future when i'm out of time? i dont want to have too much time now!.....hate it....
so...i have 4 subjects tis sem...
a) paedtriatics!
b) mental health
c) obstretics
d) gynaecology
did u realised all is about woman and kids except mental health....
off of my studies a bit...back to my classmates...hmm, few good things that had occur to them during this holidays!....first, alicia managed to lose 7kgs in 6 weeks!!!!...omg....tat was practically amazing rite?...but then everyone pula say i thin down again...i hate it, i tink i got some kind of sickness or depression tat makes me eat but din add to my weight...it only adds to my fats...wat the...
okie...then, esther(our kinda lady like gal in class) she got a bf!!...hahaha...the guy he met during the kk trip one month back then...this guy is one of our fren's fren...thy got teased by our friends and today when we asked her, she said they were together d!....omg, tat guy now is currently in ums studying...she said she told the guy tat they wil only get to meet up like in one yr time...oh my...so kinda long distance relationship rite?...if it's for me, long distance relationship is kinda hard to maintain...i have to see my the other half with me but too close oso not good...had experienced all tis..so d best one is not too close by sticking around all day and not too far by not getting to see each other for weeks o months...
then i made a new resolution for myself...that is to be concentrate on my studies, only on my studies and enough of playing...so basically have to be "kwai lui"...bad influences all out with those bad omens....shuuuu all u go....
okie i tink i better stop now...talked too much for now d...
signing off..pnee~...
phew*...feel a bit awkward after so long of holiday and being away from imu...
after we haved our session with the dean of health sciences, he told us tat imu was awarded as the third placing for malaysia best architect...i dun understand tat at all til he said that it's because our building colours and stuffs like tat!....oh imu is so nice huh?...hehe...
then tis sem i was kinda free...a lot of times class ends early till i dont even know what am i supposed to do now...online oso like boring...so blog!...am i right?....i'll be back for a few weeks then i will go off again for postings and stuffs like that...d worst thing is that during the new year...i mean the 1st of jan i have to stay at home n study!!....cause the following week will be my finals for tis sem...i hate tat the most...so much of holidays....so much of time now, can i donate some away or keep it in d future when i'm out of time? i dont want to have too much time now!.....hate it....
so...i have 4 subjects tis sem...
a) paedtriatics!
b) mental health
c) obstretics
d) gynaecology
did u realised all is about woman and kids except mental health....
off of my studies a bit...back to my classmates...hmm, few good things that had occur to them during this holidays!....first, alicia managed to lose 7kgs in 6 weeks!!!!...omg....tat was practically amazing rite?...but then everyone pula say i thin down again...i hate it, i tink i got some kind of sickness or depression tat makes me eat but din add to my weight...it only adds to my fats...wat the...
okie...then, esther(our kinda lady like gal in class) she got a bf!!...hahaha...the guy he met during the kk trip one month back then...this guy is one of our fren's fren...thy got teased by our friends and today when we asked her, she said they were together d!....omg, tat guy now is currently in ums studying...she said she told the guy tat they wil only get to meet up like in one yr time...oh my...so kinda long distance relationship rite?...if it's for me, long distance relationship is kinda hard to maintain...i have to see my the other half with me but too close oso not good...had experienced all tis..so d best one is not too close by sticking around all day and not too far by not getting to see each other for weeks o months...
then i made a new resolution for myself...that is to be concentrate on my studies, only on my studies and enough of playing...so basically have to be "kwai lui"...bad influences all out with those bad omens....shuuuu all u go....
okie i tink i better stop now...talked too much for now d...
signing off..pnee~...
Saturday, August 2, 2008
For mom n dad~
Going back to KL in few hours more…I’m waiting for time to pass…
So decided to blog….
I love my parents!... although sometimes I bluffed them, they didn’t not scold me or beat me. They are really someone who will always be there for me. When I was down, they will be there supporting me. My family is just a moderate family, my dad is willing to give his everything to his children despite any difficulties. He will never disappoint us or say a N-O to us no matter how difficult is it for him to do it. I might be their hope to carry on and seeing me success is what they always wanted. They will the best thing for me even though they have to suffer for that. They will exchange anything just to see me smile and happy. My dad is the most wonderful dad although he might scold me at times but I realized it was for my good. My mom will always there supporting me no matter what I do, believing in me that everything will be alright.
Sorry dad and mom for always making both of you angry with me.
Love..pnee~
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