had CCC gathering today. its post-christmas, belated-dec-babies-bdae celebration and jodi farewell celebration. haha.
had a great time at ichiban. these guys nv fail to create laughter.
we made a scrap book for jodi. the 1st letter of each photo spells her name =) cheers to CCC friendship!
goin off to taiwan in a few hours' time. there's something that i wished for to happen. 630am. haha. silly. but it'll really make me happie. too bad i guess. not gonna happen.
thanks qx for asking. feels good talking! you're seriously my twin.
llwei~
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
went to serangoon 727durian shop to get durian crepes and durian puffs. YUM YUM. the food pinchers! what a spread...
i wanna bake. this this this and this. but i'm stranded at home. nobody to drive me to supermart to buy ingredients. i'm too lazy to take the bus.
a casual friend, it says. who? lasting, it says. who? change, it says. WHO?
some dumbo. argh.
A for Argh. B for Bleah. so many Cs yet so many Ds. so Exasperating. ruin my Fs. G for Goon. H for Hur Hur. Interesting, Jokes, Killing me. L for Lame. S for Shit. Meaning. None. O for oooOOOoooo Patience. Quiet. Respond. Time. You. VVe. X.Why.Z.
they stay shining by ur side. moving with u, no matter how fast u are.
they stay bright, just as if reminding you that, no matter how dark and gloomy ur day is, there will be a bright side...all is not lost.
they seat themselves so comfortably in the darkness, bring calmness, yet with a tinge of happiness amidst the silence and stillness .
sometimes i love the night; it gives you the time to urself and for urself. sometimes i dont; for it makes you feel how alone you are.
i know how silly it is to keep getting all emo. the practical me asks 'whats the point.' the sentimental me claims that 'its a girl thing.'
its useless to think about things that you have no control over. its useless to get yourself depressed over things that had happened. its useless to belittle urself.
i know these. but i just need to rant. so no worries everyone!
twinkle twinkle little stars. how i wonder what you are. up above the world so high like a diamond in the sky.
When the blazing sun is gone, When he nothing shines upon, Then you show your little light, Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.
Then the traveler in the dark, Thanks you for your tiny spark, He could not see which way to go, If you did not twinkle so.
In the dark blue sky you keep, And often through my curtains peep, For you never shut your eye, Till the sun is in the sky.
As your bright and tiny spark, Lights the traveller in the dark, Though I know not what you are, Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
little did i know that, a nursery rhyme can brings such comfort at a age of twenty.
every action that we take, results in the steering of a certain situation to a certain conclusion. every action is irreversible. looking back, how many of us actually have the courage to reflect on and apologize for our mistakes. 道歉有用吗？又或许，你只可以硬着头皮，继续的错下去。 我想，我们就是这样。互相坚持着自己的原则，信念。。。为了保护自己，不得不。 现在想起来，醒悟了。 原来我是那么的自私。 想 想 想。 但又无可奈何。
meet the old. i wanna care just like before. but gaze cant hold for long. ** looks away.
heard of the old. a sense of envy. how fast. wonder if i was in any position to feel what i had felt in the first place. perhaps i was the hinderance. not ***.
look at the new. counting. how true? i cant be sure.
i cant feel **** words.
i cant commit. i hate the obligation. there isnt any.
quiet.different.
nice. full of virtues. but i'm a realist... age. prospect. chemistry. communication.
words of advice. dilute my thoughts. rich. poor. who. appreciated. wanted. deserted. hoping. waiting. disappointment. happy. intriguing. pressuring. when. where. what. how.
i try to live everyday happily. i smile. but i think too. cant find answers for myself. so i choose the easier route of escaping.
sometimes i wonder why. and i find no reason. i find no answers. both life and human minds are complicated and hard to comprehend. there are many things not within my control. i can only lament; i can only regret; i can only feel and bear the pain. in silence.
still, i smile.
i hope u smile too. be happie. be happie. be happie. when i said it 3 times, i meant it seriously.
reading, i felt like i've actually know you. your smile was just as vibrant as your personality. thats the reason for the pain of many for the heartache they felt.
i felt a sense of breathlessness. i dont know why i held my breathe while reading; listening to the songs played in remembrance of you.
for the past few days, i've frens who mentioned to me that one of the five was their fren.
yesterday, i read an article in the newspaper written in memorance of jeremy. she was someone who never met him but heard so many stories of him before. for her, it was regrets. regrets of letting fate ran past her so easily. regrets of not making an effort to know this wonderful son and fren. regrets of not being abe to have the chance to do anything again.
i thought hard. i felt hard. i've alwasy thought that life was vulnerable. i know it, but when actually faced with it, how many of us can actually face it brave and standing tall?
it is not shame to let your tear flow. for it is these of which will make u stronger. the acceptance of reality is the first step to moving on. the courage to reminsce is the vow to keep him in your memory for ever and ever.
many says that angels took them away. do angels exist? does heaven exist? where does people go after they die? heaven sounds like a good place, but is that the imaginery, a place of solace that people thought up of to make themselves feel better? are people chosen to die? how are they chosen then? are bad people chosen or are the good ones chosen? how far is heaven from us?
how will i die? when will angels come and take me away? how will my family deal with it? maybe they had tried taking me away before, its my parents' love that made them let me stay.
i do not like the topic of death. cos it makes me so childish and unrealistic. i know its not possible to have everyone with me for ever and ever. i know i'll have to face it eventually. i'm an escapist.
i hope that they are indeed taken away by angels. not just them, but everyone who dies. like lala's granny. somehow, i still remember her in the coffin. she looked beautiful and peaceful. where is she going? i hope to see her again...
i teared again. when i read through what i wrote. somehow, i like to read through my own post for everyword i wrote, it makes me feel.
emotions are so hard to comprehend. even when its mine.
life is so complicated. even when its mine.
i want to treasure. tightly. with all my love. all before its too late.
wat an irony. it was an institue of muggery. but i had fun fun and more fun. GEEKS find joy in being NERDS?
i hereby welcome u to the ond day open house of the Institue of Muggery located at Swiss Hotel level watever. the special occassion is of cos none other then our revered president's 20th Birthday.
the HODs namely Jeffery, Ernnie, Lian, Cindy and Me are coordinately to grace the event. being HODs, we have no life, no fun. we love books. we expect our president to love them more. $100 Borders voucher is for him to indulge himself, like how we the HODs are stuffing ourselves with notes and books and exams papers.
we love our thick specs. it allows us to see things clearly. it prevents other people from seeing us clearly. HA. we hide.
this doesnt have to be a love song to a lover. to the dearest people around me. you are my light.
Lin Freya You Light Up My Life
So many nights i sit by the window So many dreams i keep deep inside me Alone in the dark but now You've come along many a night, when silence drawn in, the loneliness and the fear inside me intensifies. the many thoughts i have. i darent say. i cant say. when the troubles clutter, i'm glad to hear your greetings.
You light up my life You give me hope to carry on You light up my days and fill my nights with song at my period of sorrow and helplessness, i thank God for He bringing you to me. your love gave me strength to forget, to remember and to forgive.
Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water Could it be finally I'm turning for home? Never again to be all alone i found home in your love. i know i can never be alone. i'm assured. no longer will i face the rough waves alone, for i know that lighthouses do not waver in times of storm. They give you strength to head back shore.
(X2) You light up my life You give me hope To carry on You light up my days and fill my nights with song
I can't be wrong When it feels so right 'Cause You You light up my life thank you my friend.for bringing brightness into my boring life. to love and be loved, to care and be cared for.
happiness, bliss and contentment.
llwei~
*PS: this is to dedicated to YOU You and You(if u feels tt it applies to you) haha also, lyrics are not complete and is edited. go google if interested!~ cheers~
i like to find reasons for almost everything. when i feel like it. i like to grin at almost everyone. when i feel like it. i like to junk on the junkiest food, then feel guilty after it. when i feel like it. i like to sleep and wake at the weirdest hours. when i feel like it.
i'm just so person with 'feel'
lame shit. -_-!!! Funny! they're just seperated by a thin line. matter of perception. yesh yesh.
had my first proper lunch today in the last 4 days. haha. my study week means stay at home which means there's no breakfast and lunch. i'm lazy to cook during this period, so i just survive on a little bread n biscuit.
went to the hawker centre today for lunch with lala! damn cheap las. 2 bucks for almost everything...
i had ipoh hor fan. yum.
after which, i when to stock up for war-time haha. i'm a junkie during exam periods. eating junk food gives me a sense of motivation ha. i know i'm weird.
was trying hard to keep awake. then i heard this song. missed its title on the current playlist of 95FM. ARGH. search serach search. Found. according to mr xx, 'nice' should be something more than this. hahaha.who cares.
Looking at the lyrics, its another saddening and depressing love song. wonder why human loves this kinda songs despite the strong emotions that comes with it...but i guess thats the human part of human. HA. I say that the emotional aspect of each of us is the most vulnerable.
every word and every sentence conveys the emotions of the writer. these emotions are the commonality between that bonds. we feel. we relate. back to ourselves. we feel again. Quoting a fren's fren :
"how could mere words - thought up by man, truly express the feelings of the heart?"
i totally agree. but sometimes, we have to make do. If u cant do a good job of expressing yourself, give others a chance to do so. and so u listen. =)
S Club 7 - Have You Ever
Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over Knowing there's so much more to say Suddenly the moment's gone And all your dreams are upside down And you just wanna change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby Have you ever felt your heart was breaking Lookin down the road you should be taking I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go
Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together Back in your arms where I belong Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby Have you ever felt your heart was breaking Lookin down the road you should be taking I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go
I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow Wishing I could change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry) Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby Have you ever felt your heart was breaking Lookin down the road you should be taking I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let Yes I loved and lost the day I let Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go
3 different life versions of the song. they represents soul music's most unique and unforgettable voices being blessed with an angelic five-octave vocal range... mariah carey is also well known for her ability to sing in the whistle register...
1st is the original singer: minnie riperton 2nd is American R&B singer Shanice Wilson 3rd is Chinese Singer Jane 張靚穎, 2nd runner-up of 超級女聲 singing competition i think she did an amazing job.
i wonder if they can communicate with dolphins and bats.haha.
Had a supered day. really tired with a big fat T. slept at 5am, woke at 1030am. got a call fm granny asking me why i havnt move my butt to go to the agency with my cousin. went online to settle some misc stuff. showered and headed to chinatown. went to mac to wait for my cousin. spent 1+hr at the agency. headed to coffee bean. too cold. so we relocate. settled at Spinelli at China Sq in comfy seats. Bought Mocca Spin. Too sweet Bought Choco fudge cake. Too dry. started mugging Finance. Cold Cold. Yawn Yawn. Recieve calls. Spent so much time explaining stuff.
move my ass. dinner. shopping. entertain more questions. argh. my mum can ask the same qns for a thousand million time. i think she needs a brain scan! heehee.
MRT. wailing kid who wants to get attention. i will slap him to shut him up. HOME. blogging.
this is my itinery for today. t.i.r.e.d
i think i din accomplish much. crap. gonna mug harder.
staring at my own reflection. warm. tight. smile. i hope. bury within.
she was happily draining the bottle of juice wearing her turquoise pinafore she is a big kid her focus is all on the drink itself
every now and then i see a blissful look on her face. every now and then, i see a smile on her face.
she has small eyes. so small that they straighten into a thin line when she smiles. she has a missing front teeth. so when she smiles, i see it as a toothy grin.
it was such a simple thing yet it could bring her such simple joy
every now and then, she looks at her mother. every now and then, she leans on her shoulder. she stroked her mother's hand. she whispers softly.
she smiles so sweetly. like she's on top of the world. i see no worries. but i cant say the same in the future.
ignorance is bliss. i guess it is. but is it still a blessing if she is looked at because of her differences.
dun be the one who looks at her thinking that she is a retard.
be the one who looks at her and return her smile. be the one who looks at her with admiration, for she is a stronger and more courageous a person then you are.
she has down-sydrome. that makes her more special a person to love.
i was on the bus. i want to share her smile. i want to share her simple outlook in life.
Sucks i spent so much time designing my pics. now i cant upload them.
tired. sleep. wake.
think. hope. what. deep. understand.
open open. hard hard.
tired.
"The Rose"
Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed. Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed. Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need. I say love, it is a flower, and you its only seed.
It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give, and the soul afraid of dyin' that never learns to live.
When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long, and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong, just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose.
why dont u like it? afraid to trigger off the emotions beneath ur frontier? haha. coward.
sense my happiness in the photos? indeed i was enjoying myself last night..with my best frens. caught Game Plan at cine, after which we went chilling at Starbucks coffee. it was great catching up and doin lame shit.
little did i know that my childhood fren was going thru a difficult period for the whole of last night...lala's granny passed away this mornin at 6am. i wasnt there with her physically and emotionally. great.
i cried when i heard the news.
life. vulnerable.
hell lots of thoughts are rushing through me at this instant. night. darkness. helplessness. struggles. its heart-wrenching. its mind draining.
selfishness. do you silently pray for her to let go of her last breathe. or do you pray for her to hold on.
loss. no longer in your life. but her presence is everywhere. the memories. her voice, her touch, her eyes.
i last saw her a few weeks ago. i first saw her 13 years ago. not just a fren's granny. she's someone more then that.
sometimes. i really really hate life. unknown. Unpredictable. in the hands of WHO? whats with 'Fate and destiny' is that the only excuse that we can come up with for the inability to overcome these elements of life?
i cant deal with the element of death. the devastation of loss is more overwhelming to me then any other things. i love to keep everyone in my life. each and everyone of you out there. you form a inseperable part of my memory.
say i'm childish. say i need to have more experience in living life.
i'll say, irregardless of how old i am, i'll still feel the same way.
don't forget to say i love you. to all those ard u.
me and lala were @ 2 different worlds yesterday. so that is life? how many other persons were in a similar world as her yesterday?
i'm a selfish ignorant gal living in my own small world. cos i only remember these people's grief at a time like this.
