Thursday, December 16, 2010
- thursday 16/7/10 -
1 word to describe how i feel currently..envious..
beex never ending fairytales- 8:01 AM
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Saturday, February 27, 2010
- dilemma -
i hadn't been offered a place in rp yet..thats bad..i sincerely pray from the bottom of my heart that i can have just 1 placing in poly thats all i wish for..i didn't wanted to blog..but i saw something that caused myself to drown in guilt..im sorry if you see this but i hoped u didn't..content taken down..
beex never ending fairytales- 12:42 AM
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Friday, February 12, 2010
- celebrating chinese new year in malaysia -
today is the 13th of feb..which is also new years eve's..now is like 2pm and me and my bro is in a cyber cafe using the internet..the computers here are very lag behind thou..but as long as there is internet..i tink its ok LOL..well not much stuff to do here i guess..just felt like blogging as my bro told me something..so i hope i wouldn't want to forget..just now he suddenly told me he liked a girl whom was in his primary sch till now..but different sec sch le..den he tried asking the girl out but to no avail..i was wondering whether i could come out with a plan to help him..hahas..wouldn't it be cool..
beex never ending fairytales- 10:05 PM
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Saturday, January 16, 2010
- a new me -
this blog has been dead for like months already..i had alot of things i wanted to blog about but i couldn't pull myself to sign into blogspot lols..lazy old me..
now i just hope i could successfully enter into poly..i feel my life is so f up now..duno how to describe..just haven found a single person in the world that could understand me ba..couldn't even find a trustable or talkable person for a listening ear..see how my life could be a misery..
nobody just understands..they only know how to put the blame on me..im afraid one day i might isolate myself from the world..im really afraid this day would ever come..
beex never ending fairytales- 9:21 AM
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Friday, October 02, 2009
- i dreamt that i died -
last night i dreamt that i died..the whole situation and environment is normal..from my angle of perspective..just that no matter how hard i tried to communicate with my close ones..they couldn't hear or see me..i think during the duration that i have died..i tried looking for my grandma..but couldn't find her..and meanwhile i saw how certain spirits could communicate with their loved ones whom are still living in the real world..i couldn't do it..and eventually i found my grandmother..i cried after i looked at her..
to me i interpreted this dream to be what grandma is trying to tell me..that probably she has tried ways and means to communicate with me but she couldn't..just like how my dream portrayed..but no matter what i still miss her..
beex never ending fairytales- 4:14 AM
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Thursday, October 01, 2009
- o.o -
today had sushi buffet at sakae sushi Lot 1! my aunt treated us..it was really really fulfilling..damn full after it..lols..after that delivered mooncakes to my uncle and aunt..den me and my sis we went to a newly opened shop near sheng shiong called Shop In..haha..we walked and walked..eventually bought 3 shirts costing a total of $10..hahas..we both duno how to really shopping wan..but next time i'm going to ask some of my friends to help me! hahas..really wana do makeover sia..i want to look good too hehes..
trying to build back the relationships i onced have..but because of my parents..i have lost it all..i have lost everything..its hard for me to step out..but i will try..
- in me lies a sincere heart awaiting to be known -
beex never ending fairytales- 9:27 AM
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Sunday, September 27, 2009
- ooops -
ok its been some time since i blogged..lols..
i wanna blog about my dreams of the past few days..the first day i dreamt i was driving a lamborghini to meet my friends for lunch or something..i forgot the other details..the second dream i was dreaming of a group of friends..and one of them is alex..hahas..in the dream he was so good to me..but its all just a dream la..in real life he got gf le hahas..i give them best wishes =)
beex never ending fairytales- 7:21 AM
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Wednesday, September 23, 2009
- this made me hate my life even more -
its been some time since i blogged..i didn't wan to blog as i have many happy as well as unhappy events happening around me..
today was supposedly a happy day..after work bought ingredients that will be using to make pancake..but once i reached home..things started to change after awhile which is now..now how i just feel is that i'm staring to hate my life even more..imagine your own mother telling your sister that one day when she dies..she will regret not talking to her..i understand the meaning of this sentence..but what i cannot stand is that..someone spreading negative about me within the family..i thought family should mean understanding each other and be there whenever in need? i doubt so in my family..if we change the scenario..what if one day i told my siblings all the untold dirty secrets that my parents have..its like telling them my parents are no good because blah blah blah..it would leave a very bad impression on them in the future..how would they feel then? it would just be how i am feeling..just that they dun even fucking know..nor fucking care..i do all these not because of myself..its because i wan them to understand how grandma felt when she was alive..how she treated grandma was how i treated her now..they dun use direct words to ask how is the person..instead through another person they understand some truth..but not the whole picture..but i still loved grandma because she understands me..she understands what i want and what i am going through..compared to my parents who don't even try asking just because they don't even dare asking..look at my lifestyle..i'm using my sis's lousy phone..wearing the same old t shirt and shorts that was bought like duno how many years ago..wearing cheap slippers or shoes that were given by cousins..specs that was made like 10-20 dollars since 4-5 years ago..i dun hav anything..everything is worthless on me..and everything internal of me is not cultured by them..is from grandma's side..including uncle and maid's..there is nothing positive for me to learn from them..and since young..other than money issues..i dun think i have any remembrance of them..i cherish grandma more than i cherish them..cuz of the bond i built with grandma since young..its hard to forget..i still love her and will always do..now as i have grown older..my principles is rooted to my heart..if they still don't do anything..i doubt i will change..they have someone to confide when they need a listening ear..but do i? i don't even have friends as close as to spurt all my secrets to..nobody..do you even know how painful it is for me? if you don't..den i rather don't talk..i don't want things to worsen..it will be good to let my memories stay just the way as it is..my only wish to you two..is that hope you treat my siblings well..understand and care for them..don't wait till its too late and become like me..i bet you'll regret more than i'll regret bout u..i'm sorry to say all this but i have to say all my heart felt words out as i cannot stand all these fucking complaints anymore..
beex never ending fairytales- 2:41 AM
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Friday, September 11, 2009
- woots -
today had a fun day..went to pub around 6pm at tanjong pagar area..met new friends and learnt alot of things..which is so cool hahas..
i was thinking..why are all those good guys always been taken..i wish i would meet my other half too..wishing upon a star *smiles*
beex never ending fairytales- 9:19 AM
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Wednesday, September 09, 2009
- funny day hahas -
today some things happened..i actually wanted to blog early..but i kept delaying till now hahas..
first was..i say this auntie buying groceries with her two kids..she looked so ah lian type wors..her hair rebonded de and her eyes i tink wear contact lenses purple colour de..but lucky she is friendly la..hahas..i was imagining a typical ah lian around my age cooking or even looking after kids..i rather not imagine and faster close my eyes hahas..
next was where a kid called me a Hao Xin Ren!! hahas..so touched..
there was one more thing..but i forgotten what it was hahas..just hope my working days pass as fast as i wished it to be..can't wait for school enrolment.. =)
beex never ending fairytales- 7:20 AM
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