"After the solemnity of the church service and finality of the grave, the people of the Mississippi Delta are just dying to get to the house of the bereaved for the reception. Sometimes we talk bad about the deceased between the grave and the aspic, but we straighten up and are on best behavior the minute we get to the house. We're people with a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. We won't forget you just because you've up and died. We may even like you better and visit you more often."---Being Dead is No Excuse (The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral)
Loving grandpa who blew smoke rings on demand and told off-color jokes, much to the exasperation of his wife and the delight of his grandkids who loved being in on anything from the adult world that seemed even remotely naughty. When Alexander was learning to talk, we had to decide what he would call my grandparents. It was too confusing to have him call them Grandma and Grandpa because those titles were already in use for our parents. It was decided that he would call them by their first names, Betty and Lou. Innocently, he called them Betty and Lewd, and the name stuck because it was quite appropriate.
Aside from the jokes, I knew Grandpa to be the perfect Southern gentleman. Always calm and collected, he knew how to carry himself in social situations. He was always extremely kind and considerate. When I think of him, I think of a story that my mom told me from her younger days at home. The story seems to hold the essence of what my grandpa was. I don't really remember all the details, but the gist of it was that it was Valentine's Day, and my mom was in high school, or at least old enough to feel the sting of a holiday that is really only pleasant for the cutest, most popular girls. Somehow Grandpa had an inkling of what she was feeling, and he surprised her with a Valentine's gift when she got home from school. At the time, I think she was just depressed that the only thing she got was something from her dad, but the quiet thoughtfulness of the gesture is what she remembers now. Grandpa's genuine concern for other people was always evident.
I was Grandpa's first grandchild, and one of the stories that he told me over and over throughout the years was about how my parents brought me, as an infant, to see him in the hospital after he had a massive stroke. He said he was so proud of me, and he cried when he saw me because I was such a beautiful baby. No matter how insignificant the activities we were involved in, Grandpa was interested and told us how proud he was of what we had accomplished.
We will miss Grandpa greatly, but we are glad he is free from the cares of this world. He lived an exemplary life, and we are proud of him.
We are also proud of Grandma who loyally stood by Grandpa's side and took care of him for the past 30 years. She has shown us what it really means to stand by a spouse through good times and bad. We couldn't have asked for more loving, generous grandparents.
