tak glam

Yikes! My agonised expression got caught on the camera again! Hahaha, every year the same thing happens. (1) contorted face and (2) wrist stuck in awkward position.

Perhaps running is really a torture to me!

But nope, now that I have fully recovered from the muscle aches, I feel very tempted to run again next year. Yes, the 21-km again. The only thing I'll have to deal with would be my left knee -- it's been creaking and giving out funny za-za-za noises.

Standard Chartered Half-Marathon!

Yup, I went for the StanChart run again! But the challenge is of a different level this time round - 21 km.

What a painful process! Actually, the first few kilometres were great because I was telling myself to go at a comfortable pace and to enjoy the scenery. At the 7-km mark, Geri and I found each other and there was company to cheer things up. Even when we hit 12 km, I still had the mood to let out a joyful exclamation which greatly amused Geri.

And then... 13... 14... 15... there didn't seem to be an end to the route. So it was about 16 or 17-ish km (we've basically lost count and there were no signs) that I could not take and anymore. Succumbed to the threatening symptoms of sore thighs, hurting left knee and numbness in the head (?) and hence, starting walking.

Gosh, and once we walked, it felt too good to start running again. Attempted to pick up a running pace a couple of times but to no avail. It was only when we were left with the final kilometre that we found enough mental strength to jog till the end. Actually, we even had sufficient energy to finish the race with a little sprint. Haha.

So there, my little experience of a gruelling half-marathon.

Will I go for it again?

If you've asked me yesterday, the answer would be a firm 'NO'.
But today? Perhaps yes.

True, it was painful. But in a sadistic way, it was quite fun. And funny too. Haha.

So... squint! And see the '21.1 km' on the medal! What a hard-earned piece of metal!

holidays are here!

Wow, it's December once again!

I have just turned quarter-of-a-century old.

It didn't seem too long ago when I wrote the following post (before my 21st):

Transition to Adulthood?

So here it is, one week before I will officially be allowed to watch restricted films, gain entry into certain posh bars, drink if I were in the States, sign indemnity forms on my own behalf, etc. Not that I have been dying to do these things. Just listing down whatever differences that may start to appear in my life.

And of course, other than these 'official' matters, I do not think turning 21 is going to have a Deep Impact on this physics geek here (since there's no sign of meteorite coming to hit the Earth soon).

Maybe it is going to jolt me out of the current no-direction-in-life state, if only for a while. And perhaps my birthday wish this year would be to completely dispel that suspicion that I am a potential lunatic, fuelled by my excessive reflections on unnecessary issues. Put simply, I ought to 'shut up and get on with life'. Plus, I am going to be a more positive and kind-hearted person.



-----

Hmmm... I wonder how 'adult' I have become in the light of what was written FOUR years ago! Shucks. Time really seriously flies. Maybe work does force one to grow up quickly. But then again, perhaps not as quickly in my work? I don't know.

It's quite interesting to read old posts. I suppose the above kind of served as a prelude to how I found my way to God. And I also suppose that my 'no-direction-in-life' problem has been resolved to a large extent. Though I still have doubts at times, I believe the question has already been answered at the most fundamental level. In any case, I should definitely be thankful that I have not been certified a lunatic despite my compelling suspicions four years ago.

Sorry I am rambling. First sign of ageing. It's just that significant dates make people a little more reflective than usual.

Flatland :: The Movie

woots! very geeky stuff! i like!

The Little Prince

Suddenly felt the urge to read The Little Prince. I'd thought I have the book at home but nope, couldn't find it.

Anyway, got this excerpt somewhere...
(The day when the little prince left his beloved flower.)

The little prince also pulled up, with a certain sense of dejection, the last little shoots of the baobabs. He believed that he would never want to return. But on this last morning all these familiar tasks seemed very precious to him. And when he watered the flower for the last time, and prepared to place her under the shelter of her glass globe, he realized that he was very close to tears.

"Goodbye," he said to the flower.

But she made no answer.

"Goodbye," he said again.

The flower coughed. But it was not because she had a cold.

"I have been silly," she said to him, at last. "I ask your forgiveness. Try to be happy . . ."

He was surprised by this absence of reproaches. He stood there all bewildered, the glass globe held arrested in mid-air. He did not understand this quiet sweetness.

"Of course I love you," the flower said to him. "It is my fault that you have not known it all the while. That is of no importance. But you--you have been just as foolish as I. Try to be happy . . . Let the glass globe be. I don't want it any more."

"But the wind--"

"My cold is not so bad as all that . . . The cool night air will do me good. I am a flower."

"But the animals--"

"Well, I must endure the presence of two or three caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies. It seems that they are very beautiful. And if not the butterflies--and the caterpillars--who will call upon me? You will be far away . . . As for the large animals--I am not at all afraid of any of them. I have my claws."

And, naïvely, she showed her four thorns. Then she added:

"Don't linger like this. You have decided to go away. Now go!"

For she did not want him to see her crying. She was such a proud flower . . .

Sometimes I wish I have more time to dive into the beauty of literature.

all walks of life

One of the Singapore Biennale exhibits - put up using many pairs of flip flops worn by the inmates - supposedly related to the Yellow Ribbon project. Took a photo of a pair and editted the hue to get the above picture. Pretty artistic, eh?

Somehow it just reminded me of the saying that we can only truly understand/empathise with another person until we've walked around in his/her shoes. But sometimes that might not even be enough... Like Atticus in TKAM said, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... until you climb into his SKIN and walk around in it."

(Ahhh, now I feel like reading nice novels like TKAM and watching nice films like Les Choristes.)

Back to my above point, I've always felt like I'm a very bad 'empathiser' because my life is too smooth sailing. Not that I hope for terrible things to befall me but sometimes I just feel so inadequate to help the people around me or just too insensitive to people's feelings. Oh well.

'What are you doing today?'

Many interesting encounters, many thoughts, many lessons learnt.
So much so that they are all jumbled up in my head.

Perhaps it's easier quoting a story from somewhere -

"In the Middle Ages a man was sent to a building site in France to see how the workers felt about their labour. He approached the first worker and asked, 'What are you doing?'

The worker snapped at him, 'Are you blind? I'm cutting these impossible boulders with primitive tools and putting them together the way the boss tells me. I'm sweating under this hot sun. My back is breaking. I'm bored. I make next to nothing!'

The man quickly backed away and found a second worker to whom he asked the same question, 'What are you doing?'

The second worker replied, 'I'm shaping these boulders into useable forms. Then they are put together according to the architect's plans. I earn five francs a week, and that supports my wife and family. It's a job. Could be worse.'

A little encouraged but not overwhelmed by this response, the man went to yet a third worker. 'What are you doing?' he asked.

'Why, can't you see?' the worker said as he lifted his arm to the sky. 'I'm building a cathedral!'

How we regard our work may not affect whether a task gets done or not. It will, however, have an impact on the quality of our work and our productivity. Those who see value in their jobs enjoy a greater sense of purpose.

Any job can be done with grace, dignity, style and purpose; you only have to choose to see it that way!"

[Source: Quiet Moments with GOD (for teachers)]

I suspect I am more like the second worker on most days. So yes, I'm happy, in the sense that I am contented. I know the 'purpose' of my job rationally and practically.

But from this little story, I've realised there's more to 'the joy of teaching' (or any vocation at all) - Those certain rare occasions, when I get a hint of the 'I am moulding lives!' feeling. And suddenly I am thankful for the privilege that I get to do it.

A matter of perspective?

seeing the light... in physics

I love the Red Lab in school. It's full of geeky and high-techish equipment which I didn't have access to as a student -- cathode ray oscilloscope, telescope, spectrometer, diffraction grating, etc etc.

And I think students love it too. I was quite surprised that even a 'simple' thing like the c.r.o. could invite so much interest, curiosity and itchy fingers from them.



It's a pity we don't usually have time to explore these things during lesson time. So I may be wrong, in the sense that people do like physics somewhat -- just depends on what they learn about it and how they get to learn it.

alter ego :: physicsgeek

Aha... for a very long time, I have not been home for dinner on a weekday evening at the proper 'dinner time' of the family, i.e. 6.30 pm. Something I am certainly not proud of, especially when I consider my poor mom who often worries about me enduring hunger and risking malnutrition (which of course, I don't).

Left work early today for a dental appointment. When I was done at 4.30 pm, it felt too strange to head straight home and so I wandered off to the nearby Kinokuniya. Yes, it has been a very long time since I've read anything for pleasure. In fact, a longer time than me not reaching home in time for proper dinner.

Picked up a novel and a couple of Richard Feynman's books. The latter being rather 'geeky' due to their physics content. But I think I do need a healthy dosage of these things to remind me of the physics I've learnt. And as I quickly browsed through Feynman's 'Six Easy Pieces' on my bus ride home, I could almost feel the gears in my brain set into motion again.

There's always a tension for teachers who love their subjects -- that they would very much like to share the most exciting (and often profound) ideas with the students but yet, the students may not be ready or even interested in knowing. Sadly, perhaps the students will never arrive at that stage -- at least, not all of them will, certainly not within the time frame they are under our tutorage.

For me, the struggle is of a slightly different nature. And this struggle can be better understood if I confess that I have not always (and still do not sometimes) loved physics. If anything, it is a love-hate relationship. I love its elegance and its universality and its ingenuity. But that feeling is quickly reversed whenever I feel so inadequate and ignorant and really stretched beyond my means to comprehend the complexeities of the subject.

I know that many others share the same sentiments, especially the second part of what I've described -- a repulsion from physics. Consequently, somehow I make it a point to convince the kids that physics is great and fantastic (very possibly due to my own insecurities). To date, I don't think I've been successful. In fact, many a times, I wonder if I am trying to 'bluff' them into something I myself don't fully believe.

In any case, I guess then that I am more a teacher than a physics teacher. And the really great moments are those when you feel you've engaged the students and they move on from premise to premise to conclusion as you lead them on with the appropriate questions.

Ironically, the recent two episodes I've experienced that sort of satisfaction did NOT happen during my physics teaching. The first came from me trying to explain the difference between 'Scalar (dot) Product' and 'Vector (cross) Product' in Maths. The second came when some desperate students hijacked me one day to ask me how they should organise their arguments for a GP essay. Those two discussions I've had were great -- with students responding and me sensing that they've really took something away from the discourse.

Sigh. What is wrong with my physics teaching? Why have I not achieved that during any physics lesson? Is it because I do not know the subject thoroughly enough to hit the bull's in terms of asking the right questions to stimulate thinking? Or, dare I ask, are the students not ready for A level physics? Maybe the subject is simply beyond them for now?

"Why am I teaching physics :( ?" And so, with this taboo question raised, I am sliding into my 'hate' cycle for the subject once again.

(Of course, I snap out of that when I am able to tell myself that yes, it is tough and that's why I am teaching it. Ahh... the much-needed cure which comes from that little bit of idealism.)

"i like my job"

On the way home last night...

S : How's work this week?

me: Oh I like my job. Although it's tiring.

S : Haha. You didn't quite answer my question.

me: Yes. But that's the realisation/conviction I've come to this week at work. Hence, my answer to your question.


Quite incredible that I can come to this point of confession...

Simple Pleasures

Ah... Youth Day Holiday. I'm back in school on a quiet Monday morning to do marking, data crunching and planning. And also housekeeping, seeing that my desk is getting messier and more cluttered by the day - it's increasingly difficult to hide my disorganised self.

[On a happy note: I managed to 'kope' myself a more comfy chair after prowling through the office. Muahahaha.]

This term has been exciting so far and I am looking forward to the challenges I'll face - while praying that God will help me through them. It's probably a blessing in disguise that I'm doing something I've never thought I am good at. That definitely keeps pride in check! Anyway, although I can't kick my bad habit of complaining about work (trying to!), there are daily moments when I am just so glad and happy to be in school. =) Sounds almost angelic I can't believe I am saying it but it's true.

Some food for thought, especially the last paragraph:

May God bless you with discomfort
at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships
so that you may live deep within your heart

May God bless you with anger
at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people
so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace

May God bless you with tears
to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war
so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
to turn their pain into joy

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you can make a difference in the world
so that you can do what others claim cannot be done
to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor

Nippon!

After a long lull period in terms of travelling, I finally got myself onto an airplane! (The last time was probably when I flew back to Oxford for my viva 1.5 years ago... what a spoilt kid who can't go without regular holidays.) And so off to Japan we went. The land of fancy packaging, colourful characters and wacky inventions.

Sights... Loved the geographic features - volcanoes spewing sulphuric fumes, hot springs which can cook eggs, the enigmatic Mt Fuji which we didn't quite manage to see, meandering rivers, mountains... Gosh, I miss Physical Geog... I saw something with the semblance of an ox-bow lake and I attempted to recall how it is formed... can't quite explain it now.


Volcano with hot springs


closest we got to seeing Mt Fuji, thanks to the cloudy weather


Food... Really nice to look at and mostly nice to eat as well. Most memorable meals would be the one at Nori's home and the sashimi breakfast. I think my mom will go crazy if she sees the amount of raw fish I've consumed over the past 9 days.


giant octopus balls (as in giant balls, not giant octopus)


pretty desserts at Nori's place


grand finale. our final proper meal of the trip - sashimi breakfast


In-flight entertainment on JAL was great! Managed to catch 3 movies on the return journey - HERO, Beauty and the Beast, The Bucket List. Strange mix but I enjoyed each one of them ;-)

Ahhh, travelling's great. There's this ride at Disneyland called 'It's a Small World After All' - how ironic - if the world is really that small, then why does it take such a long time and so much resources to explore all the places on earth? Okay, because we are even smaller. I am digressing.

By the way, fellow kids of 1983, Tokyo Disney is as old as we are!



More photos can be found at: MY FLICKR STREAM

Now it's back to work.

Pulau Ubin Trip

Whew! Just returned from a camp at Pulau Ubin... and recalled that ten years ago, I wrote in a Chinese Composition that I had wanted to be an OBS Instructor. Of course, later on, I became lazy and realised that the extreme physical demands might not be such a good idea.

Anyway, I am quite glad that I went for the camp. Really enjoyed myself and also got to do some things which I have not done before, for instance:

1. Kayaking across the Straits from Pasir Ris to Pulau Ubin
2. Cycling in Pulau Ubin
3. Eating fish cooked using solid fuel and mess tin
4. Sitting by the sea sipping juice from a coconut *slurp*


Had this bike for a morning to transport me around the island.


Keeping myself occupied while waiting for the teams to arrive...


Hut at Ubin. This interesting old lady came to talk to me although I had no idea what she was trying to tell me in Malay. She then walked away, coming back later with five coconuts and attempted to talk to me again. Haha. Life on the island is so different from mainland Singapore.

Then there was all the singing, cheering and laughing ourselves crazy during the campfire - strangely, we were more excited and enthusiastic than the students. Self-amusement, I suppose.

Fun fun! Haha. Well, perhaps this is a teeny part of my OBS instructor dream come true and even better, without the overly strenuous activities!

What are the BIG ROCKS in your life?

Showed this to the kids today because I felt they are in need of some lessons on time management and prioritising.



And I asked myself - What are the 'BIG ROCKS' I want them to go away with? When all has been said and done, does it make them better people if they can quote and explain Newton's Laws of Motion? I reckon the process is important - this process of disciplining themselves and persevering through the two tough years. Outcomes? stronger character and social skills.

Path of Least Resistance

Electricity, light rays... when we say that they go along the path of least resistance, it seems like an intuitive (but not exactly convincing) way of explaining certain observed phenomena.

But how true it is in terms of human psychology too.

Or at least, it applies to me. Hmmm... lately, I have come to learn that some things really don't come easy and that doesn't mean we shouldn't work at it. (Reminds me of this Homer Simpson poster I once had, which said 'If something's too difficult, it's probably not worth doing.')

My tendency to travel the path of least resistance has to change!

Shoes @ Work

Shoes can't walk by themselves. So can somebody please tell me how I end up with 6 pairs of footwear in my office?



I suppose the above lineup - 3 pairs of working shoes, 2 pairs of track shoes, 1 pair of slippers - reveals quite a bit about my work-life balance... Or perhaps, 'work-life harmony'. 50% work, 33.3% sports/cca and 16.7% slacking around. Sounds almost like a correct representation of my actual life.

Interesting interesting. I am happy with this composition. Hope it doesn't change in the near future.

The Amateur Runner

Had the luxury of spending a lovely morning at MacRitchie when I went down with the canoeists. Jogged along the Boardwalk for 30 minutes and had the most wondrous experience in quite a while. The air was extremely fresh and invigorating. Made me realised a few things about jogging, and how to best enjoy it.

The secret? Breathing.

For once I managed to hit a stage whereby I was breathing very very deeply. It felt as if some obscure barrier in my respiratory system has been broken and air was gushing through, surging in to fill my entire brain up. I could almost smell sweetness in the air it was intoxicating. That simply made me feel like running on and on so that I can inhale more of the air.

I thought, 'Aha, it's not the lack of energy but the abundance of fresh air I should be focussing on...'

And interestingly, this state is not something I can achieve when sprinting or running too fast right from the start. I had to do sustained jogging at a moderately quick pace. Or perhaps, the venue also matters.

Gosh, can't believe there's so much to blabber about a simple jog.

I even went on to Queensway after that and bought myself a pair of Adidas Adizero CS. In my new found favourite RED.



This time I am determined to run my half-marathon in Dec!! Training begins tomorrow!!

Keep Going!

A clip from movie Facing the Giants.

M.I.A.

Ah, Missing In Action. Haven't had much time to update this space, and more importantly haven't got much to fill this blog with.

One of the most exciting thing that's happened? My new toy!!! Hurrahs!



Today fellow physicists were having an intellectual discussion in the office about tricky questions in *duh* physics. Think about this:

1. Imagine a housefly flying about in a sealed jar of air, which is on a weighing scale. The housefly then lands on the bottom of the jar for a rest. Does the reading on the weighing scale change?

2. After a while, the housefly propels itself up. Does it affect the reading?

3. What if the jar is not sealed but open? Will that make a difference in the above answers?


Muahahaha... Don't ask me! I have not figured these out for myself yet!