High Five!

[Polite warning: schmaltzy moment of parenting ahead, with possibly a dash of TMI.]

This morning, Yvette came running down the stairs, exclaiming in delight: "I'm dry! I'm dry! I'm dry!" I double-checked to verify her facts, and sure enough, she was dry. I may have been just as enthusiastic as she was. I certainly gave her an enthusiastic high five.

First time in MONTHS.

We've been going on and on about how she is almost five, and how her body needs to learn, and whatever. She assures me all the time that "my bladder is going to hold the pee up all night long". But in the morning, she is wet, and I try not to show my irritation because I don't want her to internalize it and have deep psychological issues in her early 20s.

Is it coincidence that two days ago I brought home a big bag of Smarties and announced to her that she could have one every morning she was dry? Maybe. I don't care. Candy before breakfast is a small price to pay for a fully housebroken four-year-old. Before she is a five-year-old. Before I start housebreaking the two-and-a-half-year-old.

Daily Bread

[If it seems like I'm on a recipe-themed kick, it's because I am. Feeding people is basically my life.]

I have long joked that if making bread were a requirement for anything (being a good wife, membership in the Relief Society, true provident living), I was out of luck. In my life, I have made a lot of cookies, pies, cakes, muffins, waffles, pancakes, cornbread, even a few tortillas and taco shells. 

But I have not baked bread. (Unless Rhodes bake-n-serve counts.)

My husband loves me anyway. Which is a big deal, since he grew up on homemade bread...fresh ground, whole grain, hand-kneaded homemade bread. But for the decade-and-a-half that we have been married, he has had to find other sources for homemade bread.

Friday morning, I decided to change all that. It was time. Mark has been pampering me so well for so long. I finally had the courage to choke down all my insecurities and excuses, suppress my involuntary shuddering, and make bread. I used this recipe (Faye, you're amazing! And so is your bread!):

"The Best Homemade Bread Ever"

Faye Walker

4 cups warm water

1 1/3 cup sugar OR 1 cup honey

3 tablespoon yeast

1 tablespoon salt

1/2 cup oil

12 cups flour

Combine water, yeast and sugar/honey. Let rise. Add remaining ingredients. Mix in mixer for 12 minutes (by hand, you're on your own!). Cover and let rise until double. Punch down. Let rise til double again. Shape into rolls or loaves in oiled pans. Makes 3-4 large loaves. Let rise til 1 inch above top of pan. Bake at 375 for sugar, 350 for honey for 25-30 minutes. Butter tops. Cool on rack. 

This is word-for-word how Faye gave it to me about seven years ago (yes, I've been trying to psyche myself into this for that long). I followed the recipe compulsively. And even though I do NOT have a mixer and had to do it by hand (on my own), even though the recipe did NOT say how long to let the yeast rise, even though the recipe did NOT answer the all the horrid, doubt-plagued questions that kept coming to my mind, the bread was perfect. 

I was elated. My first EVER attempt to make bread was a success! I actually drove to Mark's office with a still-warm loaf of bread, a cutting knife, and honey butter on a tray. He was so rewarding. He took the tray around the whole office, bragging and sharing. All four loaves were gobbled down record time.

Of course, Saturday afternoon, I was ready to try again. This time, I was all daring and brave, and put in some milled flax seed (have to get in that Omega 3 fatty stuff, right?) and some wheat bran (yes, I'm a weeny and I am using store-bought, enriched white flour). And the bread STILL turned out. It was just a bit heavier, but not in a bad way. Mark even took half a loaf for the Young Men to use as the Sacrament bread. 

I wasn't sure how to feel about that: 

(1) Oh no! My family has been lying to spare my feelings, but now REAL people are going to taste my bread and tell the truth! 

(2) Hooray, my bread is good enough to be used for Sacrament bread! I'm a success! Is it appropriate to brag about it?

(3) Hey, bring that back here! I made that, WITHOUT a mixer, and it took a lot of work, and I'm not in a hurry to give it away, darn it!

(4) Well, guess it's time to make more bread! Is bread-making a Sabbath activity? We sure are burning through our flour supply...

Monday, the bread was all gone. (Except for the crumbs EVERYWHERE. Now that I think about it, I do remember there being a lot of bread crumbs in my mother-in-law's kitchen. All the time. But I digress.) I'm starting to feel a little bit of the "give us this day our daily bread" thing. Of course, I needed to make more bread. Not that we didn't have bread in the house, mostly because my family was rarely this rewarding about something I make, but partly so I could strut around in my new-found capacity. 

But, Monday I had my hands full of errands and toddlers and a nursling and a bunch of other stuff. So, I delegated it to Hyrum. 

Hyrum is a good cook. He can follow a recipe just fine. He can even improvise with decent success. I pointed him toward Faye's recipe, and put my mind at ease about the bread.

The bread failed. Badly. Mark and Hyrum and I have gone over the recipe and the process and tried to figure out what happened. It can't be just that it was Hyrum and not me. Whatever it was, I had four loaves of shame on my counter. Some braver souls doused it with honey and gnawed away at it. Half of one loaf was decent. The rest of it sat there like lumps of sadness, getting drier and staler with each passing day.

I couldn't bring myself to put it in the compost, or (Heaven forbid!) throw it away. Today, I vowed to salvage the bread, along with my shredded carb-infested self esteem. I pulled out the breakfast casserole recipe (from my Early Morning Seminary days) and used up a good portion the failed loaves. We ate it for dinner tonight. Everyone gobbled, no one complained, bread was used and not wasted: 

Breakfast Sausage and Egg Casserole

1 pound sausage (crumbled, cooked & drained)
6 eggs, slightly beaten
2 cups milk
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dry mustard
2 slices bread, crumbled
1 cup grated cheese
3 tablespoons onions (optional)

Mix all ingredients together. Pour into buttered (8x11 or 9x13 works well) casserole dish. Refrigerate overnight. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 45-60 minutes, depending on pan size.  Serves 8.

It was while I was assembling said casserole that an idea popped into my head: bread pudding.

I have never even eaten bread pudding, much less made it. But it sounded like a good idea. Hyrum Googled "bread pudding" and we used the first recipe he found. It's from an old Amish cookbook, apparently. It was super-easy, and it was super-amazing. I was a little giggly about it, because it made me feel like Beatrix Potter or Anne of Green Gables to be making bread pudding. Something just feels nostalgic and authentic about just saying it, not to mention making it.

Oh goodness, it was delicious. After everyone licked (not exaggerating) their plates clean, Hyrum wanted to know if we had enough failed bread left to make it again tomorrow. Someone voiced the opinion that we should fail bread on purpose just so we could make bread pudding. 

Personally, I don't think my confidence or my domestic sense of worth could withstand failing bread on purpose. It could barely handle doing it on accident, even when it wasn't actually me that did it. Anyway, the casserole was a success, the pudding was a ranting, raving success. I feel like I am somehow more bona fide than I used to be, making bread from scratch and by hand and all that (you long-time bread-making friends of mine, you may gloat, but do not let me see you doing it, please). 

And tomorrow I am making bread.

Garden, Baby! (and some recipes)

Today, I used up the last of my zucchini. I feel a little conflicted about this: 

• Hooray! I used it all! I am a provident and healthy lady!
• Danggit! Now it's all gone and I have to wait until July to get more. (insert sad face here)

The sun is shining, and it's almost 70 degrees. Mark came home for lunch and uncerimoniously kicked all the children out of the house to go soak up some sun (and wallow in the mud). We walked to the library for our weekly story hour, it is so nice out. 

The snow has melted and I am feeling the need for green, growing things.  It's the middle of February, but I am starting to obsess and scheme and plan for the whole garden thing. What should we plant this year? Hmmm. Hmmmm. Hmmmmmmm. 

We have been part of a family garden co-op for several years now. I like it. It's not all sunshine and produce, of course, but it is definitely worth it. The whole "by the sweat of thy brow" thing, teaching my kids to work, and letting them reap what they sew; it's all good stuff. Plus, yummy fresh produce! 

That's the hardest part for me, to be honest. Because it's like "Attack of the Over-Abundant Garden!" It starts, and then it's non-stop until the first frost. And you can't reschedule it: "Hmmm, let's see, we have that family reunion, so let's push the corn and the zucchini back and pencil it in for the middle part of August, shall we?"

No, you have to just give your life and your kitchen over to the abundance, and either use it or process it at that exact moment. Or all your hard work ends up feeding a colony of fruit flies. Or replenishment the compost pile. Or both. I'm better than I used to be, and we do pretty well. Tomatoes still kill me. But the corn and the zucchini are in the bag...er, deep freezer. 

Here's what I do with my zucchini: we peel it, and then shred it, and measure it out into freezer-quality zip-lock bags. I freeze it in the increments my zucchini bread recipe calls for, because I'm lazy smart. I love making zucchini bread in the heart of the winter. It's such tasty comfort food! 

Here's my recipe. It's so yummy!  Take all that zucchini overkill from August, grate it, and freeze it in 2 cup increments.  Then pull it out in November, and everyone will be your new best friend! (Although, it uses A LOT of sugar, if you have something better/healthier, please share!)

Zucchini Bread

3 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 cups sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs, beaten
1/3 cup water
2 cups grated zucchini
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine flour, salt, nutmeg, baking soda, cinnamon and sugar. In a separate bowl, combine oil, eggs, water, zucchini and lemon juice. Mix wet ingredients into dry, add nuts and fold in. Bake in 2 standard loaf pans, sprayed with nonstick spray, for 1 hour, or until a tester comes out clean. Alternately, bake in 5 mini loaf pans for about 45 minutes.

I stumbled on something fabulous this week. I was making banana muffins for breakfast. Having already measured out ingredients, I was fully committed. That's when I learned that someone had eaten the bananas I thought I still had. (Of course.) Except one, which isn't enough. 

It was either inspiration or desperation, but I tromped down to the deep freezer, and pulled a portion of zucchini from my stash. I thawed it, and pureed it in the blender with the sole banana. I figured pureed produce of any kind would work, as long at there was some element of banana. 

And I was right! In fact, my children raved about the banana muffins, saying they were the best ever. I waited until they were mostly done eating before I revealed the "secret ingredient". They all approved: gross-but-healthy veggies in a portable, yummy format. Win-win.

I did it again this morning. I had one serving of applesauce in my fridge, and I wanted to get it used up so I could get the huge, mostly-empty container out of there. So, I made breakfast muffins. I used the same banana bread muffin, but I used zucchini and applesauce. Another batch of gobble-worthy muffins. So, I think I have hit on something here: banana bread really will work with any pureed produce. Try it! Tell me what you think! Be brave.

Banana [Nut]* Bread

by Angeline Kreuger

*we never use nuts, as Mark is allergic. Of course, he doesn't care for bananas either, but it's the principle of the matter...

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease and flour two loaf pans. In a large bowl, cream together:

½ C. butter

1 C. sugar

2 eggs

1 T. lemon juice

¼ t. vanilla

1 ½ t. sour cream

Add in the following until fully incorporated:

2 C. flour

1 T. baking powder

1 t. baking soda

½ t. salt

3 lg. or 4 sm. bananas, purred (1 C.)

Blend until smooth. Pour batter into the loaf pans, dividing evenly. Bake for 1 hour, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

For muffins (makes 24+):

Greas muffin pan with shortening or line with paper liners.  Pour batter into paper liners, ½ to 1/3 full.  Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

For cookies:

Add just enough flour to batter to make a dough (I don't know how much, as I have never made the cookie option).  Bake on a greased cookie sheet 12 minutes (or until done, may need more time).  Frost with burnt butter frosting.

I triple-dog-dare you to try cauliflower! 

Need a Party Idea?

[This is a little late, but I don't care.}

Gabriella's birthday was exactly two weeks (a fortnight, if you will) after Aurora was born. I had warned Gabba way in advance that her birthday was going to be low-key, with a postpartum mommy and a squishy new baby in the house. She was fine with that, just as long as she got to hang out with her besties and do fun stuff. Fanfare not required. What a trooper!

(She helped make the carrot cake (her choice), and did most of the food prep for the veggie-and-dip platter (also her choice). This young lady had all the details pinned down.)

The problem was coming up with a party-ish activity that required minimal oversight from me but delivered maximum girly fun. After a great deal of brainstorming (spread out over many, many days), Gabba and I settled on a tin foil fashion show.

It went like this:

The girls divided up into teams of two, and each team was given a brand-new roll of aluminum foil. One girl was the "designer" and one girl was the "fashion model". They had 10 minutes to create and build an outfit out of aluminum foil, and then model it the "judge". The judge had the timer going, and could use whatever points or grading system she wanted...it was totally arbitrary and capricious. 

We divided up the teams, picked the first judge, and set the timer. Hilarity ensued.

Each girl had a chance to be both designer and model, and at the end of each round, whomever was the time-keeper/judge exercised her opinion and crowned a top model. 

We switched up the teams and started the next round with a new set of duos and fresh rolls of aluminum foil.

It was fun to see what they came up with.

It was quite funny to see the trial-and-error of how to get the tin foil behave. There were a lot of wardrobe malfunctions. It was awesome.

There was no small amount of banter and trash talk, egged on shamelessly by the judge.

The girls figured out pretty quickly that none of the fashion creations were good for actual movement. Good thing we weren't planning on doing the limbo in these shiny outfits!

 Another round of designer/model teams in all their reflective glory!

By Round Three, they were really getting goofy: tails, horns...

...full, poofy ball gown skirts...

The ball gown was a spectacular failure, but that made it even funnier! The girls just laughed and laughed.  And then, when everyone had a turn to both design and model (and judge!), they wadded up all the aluminum foil, tossed it at each other, and jumped into the pile they made of shed and shredded outfits (It's amazing how big a pile you can make with five rolls of tin foil!) Later, they helped bag it all up, but we still found shiny little scraps around the living room for days...

Then, they went outside to jump on the trampoline...

...and bury each other in the leaves.

The party was indeed low-key. But the girls had a great time. And Gabba got to hang with her besties. The only party favor we sent home with her guests was a great, rather unique memory...and some tin foil hats. You know, for the alien invasion.

Happy Birthday, Gabriella!