leaving behind twenty-ten..

yes, sad or happy memories..

i shall put it in a box..

eventho it's left aside, but i will always cherish whatever I had in 2010.

♥

P/S : stop saying that we'll only have another year to enjoy before it's 2012 !!

='(

2 more days.

are you guys ready?

to face the new year?

i'm not..

:'(

im sorry, i just missed you.

hey peepz~

i woke up with the swollen eyes, must be the crying-to-my-sleep last night. sigh~ today i didnt do anything interesting. except for breakfast. me and elaine went to Hoi Yin near the beach to have our breakfast, and met amalen and nadia. thanks alot nadia for treating us! haha!

dropped by at yong chen's bf's house which is really near to my house. coz i cant spend the hours alone at home. so i went there and visited her puppy Shih Tzu, BB. this male puppy is super cute and adorable!!!! i hugged him as soon as i see him. he's playful and fun to play with. very energetic. RM 500 only. consider to get one? I WANT ONE TOO! =(

owwhh, im so proud of myself for having this shot.

itz nice!!!

♥

another thing that im buzy-ing myself with at home, is this 4.3 inch TFT LCD Screen Cube H700HDS MP5 Player 4GB and OTG. each of us sisters have one, 2 black and 2 white, from our father. i've put Patrick as the wallpaper of my MP5. so cute~

yes, it looks like a GPS device.

and i really hope it has GPS function.

=(

that's all i guess about today.

janne.

i hope itz not totally wrong,

for me to miss you..so very much...

P.S. I Love You.

Christmas 2010

HAPPY CHRISTMAS !!

this year's Christmas was ok. we had fun, like every other previous years.

Christmas Eve.

me, my bro and elaine went to KL around 4pm. I drove bro's Myvi all the way till Bentong, and my bro continued the journey to KL. it was my first time driving long distance journey, and i kinda get used to it oredy! hehe~ I attended the English session party. lotsa fun!! games, songs, performances and the exchange gifts. and my cousin sis evonne aka sho por went up to the stage and played the base in her band. i was like WTH??! haha!! she played ok though. and kinda cool!

this is the Chinese session band performance.

i dint get to snap alot photos though. all the photos are not from my phone. i shall let them all upload on Facebook and wait them to tag me then. =p

Christmas Day 1.

on this day, we went to the church for style="font-size:180%;" celebration. after the service, we went to Leisure Mall for youth outing. i drove there using bro's car btw. eventhough i got the wrong turn, get scared awhile with sho por sitting beside me, but at least we used our heads to think and get back to the right way. anyway, all 26 of us were to watch Gulliver's Travels.

the tickets!!!

awesome movie~

after the movie, me, sho por and elaine went for a lil' shopping around the mall. i wanted to buy a shirt for myself, coz i have no shirt for ice skating the day after. so we went in to Voir Jeans boutique. and i bought 2 shirts. both cost RM51.30. and nice shirts too! happy~

the deco inside Leisure Mall.

shirt 1

shirt 2

Christmas Day 2.

on this day, we went Sunway Pyramid, for ice-skating! itz been so long since i last came here. and while waiting for my skating shoes, somebody called my name so loudly from behind me. i was thinking "there's no way somebody will know me here.." so i ignored. and that male voice called me louder and louder! it was actually zhi hao's brother! such coincidence! but he went out after i came. haha~

there were changes too. like, Ice Police? wth? and the new workers. kinda pissed me off. like, when i say i want size 4, then just give me size 4! why in the world i wanna waste my time to line up just to know my shoe size?? fcuk!

and another thing that pissed me off was the pro skaters. i respect you guys for being all-so-pro-skaters. but please respect others who didnt know how to skate well. you have no right to splash ice on other ppl's leg while we were standing and you wanted to stop. i actually went face-to-face with that guy, and asked him to say sorry to me. coz i was fcuking angry with his fcuking attitude!! sorry for the rudeness. but yes, he spoiled my skating mood, and i went out after that.

this LARGE hotdog was super yummy~

this was how i spent my christmas at KL. after skating and dinner, we went back to Kuantan.

hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas Day. and after this season, means 2011 is getting nearer and nearer!! =(

sorry!

hey guys, im currently kinda buzy at cyber cafe, playing Left 4 Dead. And i promise i'll upload and update everything when i return home.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!

=)

thanks for the ''sweet'' ending..

Letter to Mr.Santa Claus ♥

hey peepz~

as we all know, Christmas is just around the corner. like...2 more days? and it's Christmas Eve tomorrow!! omgosshhhh~

well, im gonna do what a normal person would do, which is writing a letter to Mr. Santa Claus. i hope Mr. Santa will get to read it before Christmas. i mean, that's what modern technology do, efficient and fast. =)

Dear Santa ♥,

Hi Mr. Santa. My name is Jolene and I come from a beautiful city called Kuantan, situated in Pahang, Malaysia. Like every other children in the world, I will definitely say that I've been a good girl all along this year. And unlike every other children in the world, I admit myself that I had done many bad things as well. So, here goes..

Starting this year, the early months are not bad. I've been working hard. And at the same time, I also helped many customers who were in need of spectacles and helped them to choose which beautiful contact lenses that suits their eyes. See? I'm a good girl!

I also helped mama in chores, well..sometimes. To cook, to fetch my sisters from various places, to go to the banks, to send things to the companies that she wanted me to go, and most importantly, to take care of my beloved sisters!

Hmm...what else? When I enter university, I tried to prove to mama that I can be an independent girl. Although I'm not fully independent yet, which is now around....45%, but I am so much better than last time. I improved a lot mentally! I took care of myself, made many great new friends, and find warmth, comfort and joy there which is far away from home.

I did hurt people. A lot maybe. I was mean to my sisters sometimes, even yelled and ignored and talked bad bout mama sometimes. To my ex-colleagues and current friends, I was never a 100% good and noble. And especially to him, who I once loved. I am so sorry for the wrong beings. I am growing up and was being rebellious. But I always know when I hurt other people's feelings. And I'm sure they know that I truly am sorry. Please forgive me, for everything I did.

Okay, I admitted! Now, the wishing part.

Dearly beloved Santa, you know i believed in you for all these years. Grant me my wishes, please? =)

I wish :

For the safety, health and wealth of each and everyone in my family and relatives.

For the health of my dearly beloved.

For the health of all my friends.

For everyone in this world to live in harmony and peace.

For the success in me and my friends studies.

For the things that I needed most.

That's all I asked for this Christmas. I hope it's not much of a burden. Just little wishes from my little heart. ジ

Thanks and Merry Christmas Santa-san.

Lots of love and always believing,

Jolene.

✿

and when my letter is read by Mr. Santa :-

Then, I hope Santa-san will grant my wish.

=)

facebook-ly single! =p

Happy Winter Solstice Festival!

=)

hey peepz!

i woke up early this morning. and found out that the bags under my eyes were so swollen and dark. i hadnt been sleeping well yesterday night. kept waking up, and sweating. =( after fetching elaine from her music class, we went to buy some xmas gift. just for particular person. and when i reached home, i quickly finish the present. =)

today was fun! get to hang out with firdaus, my dearly beloved boy friend. we havent seen each other like...many many months? *sobx* we went for a movie. how i missed watching a movie with him! we watched narnia. i know i know, this movie kinda outdated abit, but yes, i havent watch it yet. the movie was ok. sorry dear if u had to watch it twice, coz of me.

went to have sandwich then. we talked and chatted. i talked bout me and he talked bout his. i miss him so much, really. itz been years we've known each other, but i feel like as if it was only yesterday we left school together. i really missed the old times. but i still dont feel that we've changed much since then. i still love you, and you still love me. enough! =p

he's good. deciding everything, and thinking ahead. as for me? im abit of useless compared to him in this. i NEVER decide anything. i NEVER think ahead. im just at my current time, thinking bout here and now. i'm amazed of how much he has mature in this way. i hope you'll do just fine dear. im here for you if you need anything. ohh yah, im sorry i laughed when i heard bout your tooth dear, it was a reflex action, and i hope your tooth will survive. *still laughing btw* xD

then at night, me and my family went out for dinner. coz it's Winter Solstice Festival today, so it's a special occasion for all the chinese out there. we had steamboat. quite ok, not to say the best. i still love Kampar's steamboat!! hehe~ then went to the mall awhile, take photos, and came back home. we didnt make any dumpling or tang yuan tonight, coz we're toooo fulll~~

the deco in Kuantan Parade.

not bad.

okay, that's all i guess.

"I'm facebook-ly single"

inspired by Firdaus Noh.

got this term in the middle of talking to him.

XD

janne.

i'll think about every word you said..

P.S. I Love You

new hair colour!

hey peepz!

sorry for the late update. just came back to Kuantan on Sunday midnite. William fetched me back from Kampar, and while waiting my family who are happily ice-skating at sunway pyramid, me and william went to Sg.Wang and Times Square. i always liked Times Square's deco for christmas. so grand!!

ohh christmas tree, ohh christmas tree~

hehe!

the first day i came back, i straight away told mama that i wanted to cut and dye my hair. so i went to the usual salon, and picked the colour for my hair. i chosed highlighted colour. but..it turns out not to be the same colour as i wanted to. too brownish. sigh~ and till today, i still cant get used to my new hair colour yet. =x

in real, it's lighter brown.

but i think i should be okay after few washes.

i hope so!

and just yesterday, me and my sisters went to watch a movie at ECM. it is a MUST for me to watch a movie when im back here at Kuantan. coz sadly Kampar doesnt have any theater. =( so we watched TRON LEGACY. i was so attracted to the technology presented in this movie. and too bad ridhwan cant watch with me. anyway, the storyline was ok, the sound effects and the techno? AWESOME!!!

this is the reason why i watched this movie.

Light Cycle.

i just love it!!

♥

and now, i have to think of xmas presents, and start shopping!! cant wait for shopping with sho por evonne!! i enjoyed shopping with her so much every year! hehe~

janne.

time flies.

cant wait! ♥

P.S. I Love You

My cute little Om Nom!

One day, my friend Adam introduced me a game in his iPod. The graphic caught my attention, and the story as well.

It goes like this:

A mysterious package has arrived, and the creature inside has only one request, CANDY! This is a highly innovative and addictive puzzle game. Just need to help get the candy to Om Nom, the adorable monster. Combining outstanding physics, devilishly tricky levels and bright colorful visuals, Cut the Rope is my addicted game now! ♥

isnt this little creature cute??

while playing, i kept looking at its reaction,

and it will make funny sound when the candy didnt reach it.

and Om Nom wishes you guys

Happy Holidays!!

ジ

HOLI HOLIDAYY!!!

FINALLY, IM DONE WITH MY FINALS!!

WEEEEEE~~~!!!

=D

but the results?

please, i only ask for a PASS for this semester's exams.

with the coursework marks so low,

i really cant aim high expectations anymore.

=(

Dear God, i hope that whatever i crapped in the exam,

will be productive and logic.

And i pray that i will PASS with flying colours!!

Amen.

=)

Self-aware.

"We know what we are, but know not what we may become."

-William Shakespeare-

hey peepz..

today's routine was kinda like yesterday. woke up in the afternoon, lunch, and visited the clinic. yes. again. how i hated when i have to cycle all the way there. just to get injected on the butt. and paid RM30 for it. =.=

i know this looks cute,

but the effect, really annoys me.

went mcD after that. this time the effect came faster than it was yesterday. so i went home early, and slept awhile. the dizy-ness of my head is really unbearable. anyway, i slept only for awhile.

went to mcD, again. for dinner. and studied there till 2am. i have not fully covered all the chapters yet, and im quite worried bout it. tomorrow is my last day of studying, and i can feel that i cant cover everything on time. plus i have to visit the clinic again tomorrow for the 3rd jap, and honestly, i dont feel like going there anymore. it'll make me sleep, and means, wasting my studying hours. but what to do..? =(

there's a lot of things in my mind right now. i dont know what else i can do. i dont know what else i should do. it's true of what u've said. i dont understand you. and those are the words that hurt me most. how can i understand u, when u never tell me anything about it? i knew something was wrong this evening and i asked about it. but yet, u refused to say a word bout it. and we ignored this topic completely. i dare not ask anymore, coz i know u wont be happy about it. and i know, by forcing u to tell me bout it, will not make anyone happy in the end.

im sorry if i dont understand you. im sorry if you feel like you'll be doing this alone. im sorry if you're upset. but dont blame me for behaving like this. it is because i care bout you. if it's wrong, then im sorry that i accidentally cared a lot bout you all this while.

im aware of who i am. im aware of whom i will be to you. more precisely, im trying to avoid being what i wanna be. coz i know it will make things so much better to you.

currently, not in the mood.

janne.

forgive me that i cared so much bout you...

i'll try not to do that,

if that is what you wish for..

P.S. I Love You

time!!! i want more time!!!

hey peepz!

the tension of exam is here again. i dont feel it right after my first paper. only feeling it...now? *scared!!!* anyway, i've been sick. and went to see the doctor. t

hese are my lovely pills that i have to consume. and the purple-black pills are my antibiotics, means i have to finish it. gosh~ how i hate taking pills. =x

sell everything here and get RM38.

=(

and other than these pills, i have to take extra two antibiotic injections. one day per jap. cost RM30. and today i had the jap, on my left butt. *haha* it numbed my left leg for awhile. and after jap i went to study at McD, only an hour or two later i began to feel extremely tired and sleepy. then i went back home to sleep, and came out to McD to study again at around 10.30pm.

yesterday, we went to buy Sundae cone and realised that i've seen the most stylish Sundae i've ever seen! only from a guy worker here in McD Kampar. and below somemore are the photos taken while studying at McD these few days.

stylish dan padat.

haha!

my dear Patrick.

♥

me and Patrick.

tee-hee!

this is Lim Li Rui.

when studying, his face like mau tido.

but when playing Adam's iPod, his face damn energetic.

LOL

im just too tired, thinking bout the exam,thinking bout the time limit, thinking bout the chapters uncovered, and thinking bout the injection that i have to take tomoro. i dont like the feeling after the injection, and the effect of it. made me rest and sleep, and waste another few hours of study time. and made him so busy accompanying me. sorry if it made any inconvenience to u. ='(

im off to bed now.

janne.

i hope i'll be better..

sorry if it worries anyone,

especially you...

P.S. I Love You

McD = my 2nd home!

hey peepz..

i just came back from McD, again! studying there makes me more awake i guess. and the environment is ok too. suitable for studying. except now that we sat outside, and the smoke of cigarettes kept coming. we went there around 12am, and came back after having McD's breakfast.

i went to McD twice today. evening once, and midnight once. in the evening, me and adam went there after our brunch. after eating and buying my antibiotic cream, we went there just to wait the rain to stop, and bought McFlurry.

McFlurry and adam's 'cigarette'

it was actually a herbal sweet.

;)

*taken by me!*

with the help of adam's Wildfire.

i brought Patrick along to McD. much comfortable for me to hug something while reading. i placed Patrick at my bicycle basket and brought him there. and im sure he had fun too! =p

Patrick with adam's spectacles.

looked so much like an uncle!

*taken by adam*

with his Wildfire.

mama, i just hope you're here for me now. i really dont know what to do. and im super worried bout it. please tell me that everything is just normal, and it will go away and end very very soon. i dont want to be like this even for a minute more.. =(

my headache came back. really need some rest.

janne.

please, just tell and convince me,

that everything will be fine..

P.S. I Love You

the annoyance..

hey peepz!

since yesterday we just finished our first paper, next will be on Saturday, on the 18th Dec. Theories of Counselling and Psychotherapy. for me, this subject will be much tougher than the previous one. so, have to study harder? =(

went to study at yuchi's house for awhile. then decided to go out and study at McD. me, yuchi, da er, adam and jack walked out at 12.30am. but before going to McD, we went ABC mamak first. had supper there. and watched soccer! Tottenham vs Chelsea. and the result was 1-1. Rui joined us then. after finish watching soccer, only we walked to McD.

i started my first chapter of this subject. *yeay!* it wasnt that hard, just basic stuff. so...no biggy! but it was quite a long read, and until just now which was 5.30am, my head felt so heavy. and the head-falling feeling came back. i got this few times recently. it really bothers me, coz it's as if i cant control my head from falling down. that's why i went back earlier. thanks Adam for accompanying me back. =)

i know that in my situation, i think most of the people, we cant please anyone as they wanted to. now that i feel so regret:-

of having slightly better command in language.

of reading slightly more reading materials.

of knowing slightly more facts.

of having slightly better understanding in some things.

why? because i just think that other people will not really appreciate it. i really don't wanna offend anyone by saying this, but i just feel disappointed and sad of what had happened. i thought i can just bear the feeling of discouraged and humiliated for few times, but when i expressed my feelings unknowingly, not one person can understand how i felt, or what i was trying to expressed. but instead, misunderstanding occurred. and then, silence.

i just need my point of view to be heard. is that wrong? is that not possible? i'm deeply confused. but all i know is that, toleration is highly needed!

again, i'm not trying to offend anyone. i just simply expressing my inner feelings that i feel it's harder if i said it out loud. i'm terribly sorry if i offended anyone. really, i have no intention doing so.

what i am supposed to do?

Faz honey said :

it's ok, to think that we can't please anyone is normal. and it's not easy to please someone especially when they expect too much from us.

just do things that you think is right for you and bring no harm to them,

and trying to please anyone is still a good effort.

that's enough for today i guess. going to bed now.

janne.

i just need someone who can understand..

P.S. I Love You

gives you hell !!!

hey peepz!

i came back from the dead, a 2-hour period of death. how was the exam? either u experience it yourself, or dont ask. coz u will never understand how we, who went through this exam, how were we feeling when we got this paper. the first word i uttered when i opened the 1st page and read the 1st question was... "FUCK." then read through 2nd question. still ok. then 3rd question, "WHAT THE FUCK??!!"

meaning to say, the questions were tough like hell.

in the process of facing this type of 'hell' paper, me and my friends went through a lot. such as waking up at 1am and walked all the way out to McD to study the day before the exam. at first, me, yuchi and adam went there. then jack came. we stayed there till 7.30am. when we went there, we ate something. then at 4am, we bought the breakfast set. coz i wanted to drink hot tea. it was cold in there! and adam needs hot drink for his nose too. =p

me studying!

thanks to adam's wildfire for the slides.

coz of the coldness and the nose problem and the sleepiness,

adam fell asleep.

jack came later.

all the tissue papers aka 'wan tan',

belongs to a guy named Adam Kee.

concentrate concentrate concentrate!

me too, studying DAMN hard!!

ジ

till the moment i went back at 7.30am, i refilled almost 5 to 6 times of my tea. till i have tummy ache in the end while walking back. huhu! after buying da er's porridge, we walked back home. i have serious tummy discomfort. =( after informing the particular person that im home and doing the things i need to do, i went to bed straight away.

on the exam day, i woke people up at 9am, but i slept back. coz my head feels so heavy and dizzy to wake up. but then i felt guilty of the unfinished reading and memorizing. so i woke up 30 mins later. and started walking around my room while memorizing the terms and definitions. i hugged teddy around my room and talked to him bout all the things i had memorized. i even tell BuBuq bout it. i memorized to her out loud. and it really does help! =p

these are the cursed notes and book,

and teddy who accompanied me!

♥

i just came back from cooling cycling and supper at mamak. feels great to cycle out in the cooling night. i dont know why, i just wanted to cycle and cycle just now. distress maybe? or just wanting to keep myself buzy? im not sure. thanks to the person who accompanied me tonight. =)

i wanna go play iPod now. tomoro start studying again!

janne.

i wanna make it possible..

please help me with this...ok?

P.S. I Love You