I've been fighting this war within me recently. It seems that the more i pushed myself to the limit, i kept losing my battles. Taking one step forward and moving 3 step back.If i were watching right for afar, i would probably see the way my shoulders sag, my eyes lowered as i walk, how i up to the sky in search of hope ,on occasion a smile on my lips that doesn't quite reach the eyes, a song on the radio that i listen to intently without blinking, lest with the next blink should drop a tear that seems to be standing guard.Sometimes these feelings come and go.Sometimes I chase it away, i scare it off, i even laugh at it, most of the time i pretend i don't see it like a wild cat chasing after me.When i do that it goes away for a week or two but it always sniffs me back. And each time the madness in his eyes looks different. Sometimes i fight it, sometimes i let it consume me.
Last night i slept in darkness.Total,black darkness. Cry myself to sleep.I closed my eyes and hoped for so much till i lost count of my own words, till i drifted to an abyss as deep as the gaping hole in my soul.
