i'm sorry

i am sorry

i never know the right thing to say to you

christmas eve?

anyone?

Its christmas eve.I want nothing much this year.

All i want is things falling back to where they belong.

The people going back to where they belong,family, friends, lovers,things, situation, smiles and everything else.To get a smile in return is good enough.

I want the world to get a taste of what's in my cup, at least for today. Just a sip of joy and so much more happiness for this season.

Is that too much to ask for?

Santa?

:(

Happy Happy Birthday

To my little sister:
Siti NurFarezah

(aka chacha)

Happy 11th Birthday skinny one.

girls gone wild

Yes.I've got to admit it, sleeping on my own bed never felt better esp with the two bitches around. The Movie marathon, doing nails, muching chips, bitching, talking,camwhoring,laughing our ass off,the experience of waking up and eating chips without bathing is a hell of a good one.

Well, i'm starting to miss that while i'm typing this.

i love love it.

I want more of that?pretty please.

Yes, like all typical sleepovers, we had our teddy bears and pyjamas.

i love love them to bits.

slumber PARTAY!

Yes.The term break's finally here.Yeay!

Today the bitches are coming for our 1st ever official SLEEPOVER.

God, we've been waiting for quite sometime now for this.

Yes.Thanks to my parents for sacrificing and sharing our humble space with this two beloved bitches.

(oh' cos its my parent's anniversary.)

It's time we girls have some fun!

here's something

The red rose whispers of passion,

And the white rose breathes of love;

For the red rose is a falcon,

And the white rose is a dove.

But I send you a cream-white rosebud

With a flush on its petal tips;

For the love that is purest and sweetest

Has a kiss of desire on the lips.

=) lovelove.

sunshine again please?

The grey sky's looking better today.
At least better than yesterday.

We've seen so much more smiles this weeks than the last time...
God, i almost forgot when was the last time she smiled.

It doesnt hurt to be happy and smile you know.

Maybe we should all learn to find joy in the strangest of things and the smallest of interactions.
At least i do.A simple message on the cellphone, sitting on the break water and enjoying the breeze, the smile on a kid’s face, the hilarity of your friend's clumsy self, the curious topography of a familiar face, the familiar scent of a loved one… The bewitching allure of our unembellished and imperfect lives.

how nice?
I hope this wont be just temporary.
At least let it be for a 'long temporary'.

heart

Let me live another day.Let me be fascinated by this still life, this papier-mache world. So hard yet so soft.So real yet so fake.Everything is so damn beautiful. And especially those eyes, those eyes so ethereal you can see the stars in them. At least, with whatever thats left, those eyes, I can see them, they’re still near.

What all my dreams are worth to me, nobody will ever know. The source of escapism from the reality.Whatever the others may say, they may mock, they may laugh.. for all that my dreams are worth to me, I’ll never stop dreaming.

For my heart, it lies still.

It’s getting way too noisy here for the restless, tired soul of others.
Let me dream.Its never too late.

Musing.

My existence is 'unappreciated'.

--

you're so near yet so far

where were you when i needed you?

fucking depressing post

The lives we lead are very fragile. With just one day, one second, one single mistake, one wrong move, everything can fall apart. People can fall apart. Leaving each other wondering whatever the hell went wrong. People feel hurt, and in turn they hurt themselves even more or worst others.

The needle pushes in further into the flesh, the scars run deeper and deeper. Who the fuck can handle this pain.

just go.

I am tired.
Leave me.
Go away.

--
i've never wish i was never myself.
but today.i wish for just that.
I dont want to be me anymore.
I'm sorry.
go.

missed it

I missed the feeling-where it is complete.

Like everything seems a not so very right.

Like something's missing.

Like we are incomplete.

=(

but whatever it is.we had heaps of fun.For the sake of Her.

That's why i called all of them.

We did what we promise.To shop atleast together.

yupyup.Whee!

i love them all.

She misses and need Him i know and it hurts seeing that

=(

i dont want hari raya can?

i'm done cleaning up the mess.
oh' i'm talking about YOUR mess.

going random (again!)

I think humans are a funny lot. They can sit around, rant and rave about how horrible it is to be in a relationship with somebody else, how obligations are a bitch and that its not always rainbows and butterflies, that its damn troublesome having to deal with someone else’s bullshit…
But for what it’s worth(or then they realise its not), they still hang on anyway.

hrmm..well.it's just a concept i sometimes dont quite get it.
Get it?

Some times in life, you have to learn to expect less from people, and you still have to depend on yourself. Because the more you expect, the more you will be disappointed.

i want.i want.i want.please?

i want

1. to shop till i drop
2. loads of money
3. Meet Nurdinee Royani Bte Roslan (soon!)
4. Meet my cousins
5. Eat at pizza hut (soon!)
6. dendeng at geylang
7. Dine-in with him only
8. Write something fuckingly awesome
9. Act slash perform
10. more lepak session with the gang pretty please.

..

i havent had that much of a time now.and i'm plainly lazy.to do so many things.

grrr.but i love mondays and fridays.

they all make me happy.

betul.sumpah tak bedek!

-

i am never good enough am i?

time out

i need a breather.
prolly on my weekends.
puh-lease

aaaaahhhh!

Have you ever felt tired?tired of running in circle and end up in the same ol' fucking place.Like literally running around in stadium knowing exactly where you'll end up at.
okay thats a rather weird example (???)
I want run.For God-knows-what reason till i'm a dead beat and sleep. Cos i feel so fucking tired and i cant seem to have a real good sleep.

I'm tired too over the mayhem the emotions causing.
He say its like only for a fleeting moment and its too fast and its rather erratic.
Its all because of YOU.Yes you.The ignorant narcisstic you?

okay la.fine!sorry for the yet again another depressing post.
I rarely update and i just need something to rant it all out.

Fuck it la okay

---

great flight

i need something or someone to salvage me
set me free from feeling all cooped up in this barred enclosure
its smothering in here

please set this soul free

blah

Where will this crazy thoughts take me?
Now i'm left with nothing coherent.
Everything seem to appear hollow to me.

I'm done thinking.
I'm jaded and my brain's tired.
I dont think i can ever stop saying that.


Can i just disappear?
Evaporate or just vanish into thin air?
Or hmm..
or let I in all my glorious ignorance eventually figure out a way out of this mess.

---

I baffle myself to no end and part of me just wants to clobber myself

not again

I can't believe that happened.
What's worst was I let it happened.

I am incapable of losing control.
Of allowing her to take over me.
absolutely incapable.

I lost her long before i knew myself.

boo

i'm yours,
truly

on a loose

And so my brother said she's missing.
yes i mean it.He said she escape just like in the
teevee series prison break.
I saw a hole that she made.
Damn i didnt know she could do this to me.
so much of putting her in the sick bay.
for saving her hairy ass from the evil weevil other.

yes.i'm talking about my hamster.
now she's missing and i dont know where.
i should call her sara.

yes mayb i should.

random unrelated updates

Yes.school coming to end.
Oh i dont have classes on fridays so that makes tomorrow the last day of revision week.
Exams next week.Friday to be specific.
I've yet to cover anything as of now.(okok maybe a lil')
And its still a long way to go.

BTW...
tomorrow will be PPP second showcase at Taman Warisan.
Yes. For the first ever Malay Arts Festival. Our slots after 8.
So drop by if you're free.

And so till then i dont really know when's my next update.
So see you when i see you.

sidetracks.
I met ili liyana izyan yesterday and tho' its just for abit
its worthwhile.
and she definitely still rock my socks!

---

finally the sun is shining back again...

Erratic post

The world's spinning way to fast i feel like puking.

You should see the fantastic crazy thoughts in my head right at this moment in time, it is so very delightful. It reminds me of a salad, you just toss in whatever you like whenever you like and mix them all together. It could taste orgasmically good, or it could end up divinely atrocious. Life's like that sometimes, maybe all the time, you never know what you're going to end up with.

And mine's pretty messed up for now or for the past few days atleast.
But yes i'm sorting this shit out for good. I'm done screwing things up and end up drowning myself in a whirlpool of emotion or fuckingly salty tears or even self-pity.
done with the capital D.

I'm trying very hard to even catch up with myself.

----

i set myself free last night.
with you by myside

:(

Don't let me complicate you..

ultimate truth

there are just so many thoughts swimming in your head, so many words to say, but in reality there are only those few lines they need to hear? The rest is all just bullshit. When you filter out all the self-defensive junk, the instinctive blame game, the angry words, when you peel all that crap off layer by layer, when you reach the most vulnerable core, the blatant truth, where there are is no pretense, no lies, no disguise.
It just leave you speechless.


I really can't make anyone see because they don't have my eyes.

---

hold me close dont let me go..

romeo

magical night

Magus Luna III was great fun!
Kudos to them all who made it happen.
Despite the loop holes and the drop in standard of performance i do think that they deserve the round of applause for their effort by the end of the night. If it was about entertaining the audience we made it, but for those who's into this scene.Its rather dissapointing.



But then again.There's got to be a start.
And this is it.A rather good start.

---

:)

Sometimes i sit and i wonder And i just can't seem to believe What a blessing it's been to be loved You're an angel sent to me You're the star who lights up my sky You're the one who made me see That you don't need wings to fly Your love has set me free Cause you are the one who makes me whole In my heart and in my soul And just like the sun you showed my the light I'm amazed and you're the reason why Before you i was so blind I didn't know which path to choose You poured all of this love in my heart And there's no way that I can lose

---

for you keep me sane<3

PPP07

Alhamdulilah.

Yet again TP won PestA Peti Putih 2007.

We won the overally champion and also 5 other awards

1. Best Direction


2. Best Writing


3. Best Use of Set


4. Best Use of Stimuli


5. Best Performer(Ubaidah)


6. Overall Champion of PPP07
   

I can never thank enough you know that.From Teater Ekamatra people to those who support us.We've come a long way and i think this years theme is a challenging one.Alhamdulilah.We managed to pull through. We start off really bad having hard time to kupas the theme but we manage to settle to one. A very simple yet 'scary' story. From being two dimensional we manage to give alot of dimension to the story at the same time to the characters. Thanks to those who help.

The 1 thing i love about PPP07. It is a fruitful journey.For me atleast. Beside getting to work with the lovely cast and crews and also meeting new people. I manage to learn. Alot. About the kind of standard we should upgrade ourselves. The amount of commitement.That we should always always open ourselves to criticism and learn.Really learn.Gosh!Its been great.A blast!

Thanks to those who made it happen. This is for all of us.

Pesta Peti Putih

SYNOPSIS:

“Arts against Apathy…” Apathy is a psychological term for a state of indifference — where an individual is unresponsive or "indifferent" to aspects of emotional, social, or physical life.

Pesta Peti Putih (PPP) is a Youth Malay Theatre festival first initiated in 1999 for tertiary level students and schools. PPP is open to Junior Colleges, Institutes of Technical Education, Polytechnics, Art Colleges and Universities in Singapore, and is a space that encourages and nurtures the creativity and sensitivity of Malay-speaking youths within the parameters of theatre, language and literature.

PPP07 plans to reinvigorate the youth theatre and arts education scene, and aims to be one of the most vibrant and exciting platforms for youths to discover (as well as to be discovered), network, engage, share, express and create. Come be a part of this festival and support our youths as they battle apathy on stage.

Thursday, 19th July 2007, 8pm National University of Singapore & Ngee Ann Polytechnic

Friday, 20th July 2007, 8pm Pioneer Junior College & Temasek Polytechnic

Saturday, 21st July 2007, 8pm Jurong Junior College & Republic Polytechnic

@

Arts House-Play Den

---

This is it..

After months of practice, we've come a long long way.

Today is the day.Insya'allah.Mudah-mudahan everything will go smoothly.

Hopefully pementasan ini deterima dengan hati yang terbuka.

---

14th July<3

Cos he's untouchable!

Happy Birthday 'Fitch'!

Your day is sooo going to end soon.

[insert evil laughter]

Today's beautiful.Because I'm with HIM.

Besides that,Me and 'Fitch' got this 'Bonnie and Cylde' thingy going on with each other all along.

We went around Singapore.walking.

Like seriously.But stil got turned down.

But we enjoyed the day very much thank you.

And we definitely lovee the night.

Let the galaxy be the witness.

Cos we're locked.

Well Happy 18th again Love.

Hope you enjoyed today like you never did.

(ehem.Damn old la!)

=)

Truly,

Soulmate<3

---

Life has offered me a thousand chances..

and I knew all I have to do is to take ONE.

Which I did.

I chose to be with You.

You are and have always been, my dream.

I.L.Y!

wacky wednesday

Life's a bitch without them!

Lunch can never be any better esp with them around.

I love my crazy wednesdays with my bitches.

I love my mohanas and hydrilla spitfire.haha!

They rock my stinky socks off!

:)

pssst.can we do this often please.

peti hitam

I miss black box session.

Pesta Petih Putih is nearing and i'm feeling the tension.

Somebody bite off my head

grrr...

going donutss.

Thanks to my PM for the donutts.

What better way can i conduct training if not with donuts from donuts factory.

Yes.I dont mind working till late like this all the way at Tanjong Pagar.whee!

*PM(Production Manager)

feeling high.

I can't tell you how happy I am today. The perfection of every single second. The beauty of every single minute. For everything that I've ever wanted, everything that I've ever wished for, was realised within this 24 hours. Everything.

It was beautiful.

ferriswheel.

Taking a peek at the most beautiful of sight
Now would you take me for a ride?

The view from inside the car captivates me.
i cnt wait for it to be up for rides.
i wanna watch the world from right up there with you.
Just you.

--
Keep me in your arms and bring me wayy up there.
Far from the world and way up in the air.
<3

suu-weet!

After watching a double bill show put by Teater Ekamatra, Madu II and Bulan di Kampung Wa' Hasaan.(A without doubt superb show)me ,adek and wan head up to have lunch cum dinner together then chilled at the steps near marina to talk. Time passed us by so was everything and everyone around us.Including wan and it was left with me and her. We talked thru symbolism to hide on whats not but manage to bring about the point.A rather open yet not discussion slash ranting session. WE were like young kids sulking craving for ice-creams and chocolates.We, for that very moment wish we were so much like when we're five. When we can just sulk and cry and got away with it with someone there to take it away frm us.Hrm.Then came a sweetheart with Chocz cake that carved a smile on our lips.Especially mine.For a moment he took that pain away.And i felt like a kid again.
All over again.

The night sky and the stars were the witness to the bittersweet night.Just like the after taste of the cake.I love it like i love you.
Thank you.

<3

smile!

Life has been.. good. It's been a bloody hell of a rough time adjusting to new priorities and tons and tons of work from school and CCAs.And somehow, holidays don't seem like holidays at all, at least in my case. I'm still perpetually running around like a mad idiot. It never ends, does it? I was posed the question the other day "What, do you get paid money for doing all this?" Well I don't. But then again, I do. More than anybody will ever know or understand.

But what-the-fuck.I'm contented.
And i'm always smiling.
The things that are worth smiling about far outshines all the dissatisfaction.
That's all that matters.Or either that, i'm too fuckingly tired to care.
hah!

so yah!

---

For he keeps me sane<3

yipiie

i love trip to johore.but i loike grocery shopping more.
they're like retail therapy and having good company makes it all wayyy cooler.
and so you can see, i got my donutsss and pizzas too.
and what batter way can i end the night with sleep over with Along and Kak shikin.





--

i love today.but i love you even more...

love with the capital L

i asked:
what is love?

he said:
love isnt a feeling..
nor is it the ultimate happiness.
it doesnt come from the heart.
to me,love is that person dearest to you.
love doesnt develop from your heart..
but instead,love is created from theirs.
their hearts are the ones you cherish.
...

:)
hrrrmmm...well mayb?

---

ohh'..he's my current addiction
<3

pause.

the world is spinning so fast it waits for noone...
all is need is time..
and my own space..

so's everyone around me..

ohh' sweetmeat

Damn how time ticks away.Its like the end of first term already and next week it's already term test.(Congratu-fuckin-lation Fifi, you've not studied yet!!)
I havnt been updating and sleeping much.Because life's been treating me well with such sweetest delight.My wonderful friends.
They're like melting fudge on top of an ice-cream.Or cream on top of fresh strawberries.*yummy*.Yah.But my point is, if only there's more than 24hours in a day it'll be just puuurfect.So much to do and accomplish within a day

So yah.Enough with that.
I just finish my official hand down session under DramaTec.
The show was sumhow a success but tho the attendance suck big time.But what the hell.Show must go on.An emotional day it is.
Thanks to my previous main comm.Especially Fadzley and Mastura for the most moving and inspiring speech,performance and your little gift you had for us.Thank you for every single thing.For making and shaping us to be a star.Star that only will shine individually but shine the others and making more stars to conqure the world.For without you guys there'll be not us.For that on behalf of my new main committee ,i thank thee from the bottom of my heart.

And yes.
Congratulation to my organizer, Fima.It's a successful event.Kudos!
And to the rest of the committee members, hop on to the seat and enjoy one hell of a roller coaster ride.Let's be up for it.


---
The night with you, was a bliss.<3

i thought i lost myself

I'm losing grip of everything around me.
I'm failing like the future bleaks.
The glimpse of the ray of faith seem to be way far ahead that i could barely perceive

is this a sign?

<3

A talk over at dinner yesternight, take me all the way back to an incident that happen that somehow change me..

Once, I told him never to make me a promise he couldn’t keep. Promises were luxuries that we could not afford – they were niceties that could only be fulfilled with the extravagance of time, by people who had a future (boy did I despise that word). We were here-and-now people, always planning the next trip or the next fairy-dust adventure but no more than that. In many ways, it was intense and always interesting. In others, painful and perennially frustrating.

So far we had treated each other with due consideration – the only emotional disclosure we did came closely accompanied with guarded confessions, qualified caveats and irony in spades.

It was rare for us to speak plainly. Even though through intuition and the general reading of the tea-leaves, I suppose I should have known what was coming. But I didn’t ask – I never ask – and thus would never have received direct confirmation, except that he decided to talked it all out till 4 o' clock in the morning and tell me in the most direct possible way where our ridiculous roller-coaster journey had taken him.He said it – it wasn’t a spontaneous slip – rather he had been thinking of telling me for a while and biding his time. He knew I wouldn’t have appreciated it any other way.

He chose his moment well. I was ready to hear those words spoken from his lips. Any earlier and I might have scoffed or made a wry face, given my skepticism towards the entire concept. But over the past few months, I guess I had grown to believe in him. Or maybe I had grown to recognize that its not the product that matters it's the journey that.And in that journey be blessed to turn to your side and see that its him walking through it with you.

Its all that, that keeps me sane.

--

eternal sunshine

i'll try to live my life on the premise that i may not have more than a day to live. I'll try to make the most of each day...every day. But, work and life make their own demands. It's so difficult and not always possible to complete each task and fulfil each dream before sunset.

I may be glamorizing the good and overlooking the not-so-great. I wonder if that's why i feel apprehensive to truly enjoy myself? I feel like my future's an ocean of doubt punctuated by the occasional, yet unappealing difficult waves.

I mean, i'm trying to enjoy each and every moment that's carved for me by His hands.
After all it's His hands that evokes love and passion.And which without it alot of things are meaningless even dreams.

i'm rather contented.
---

Like how the moon and stars light up the night sky, like them you light up every cornerstone of darkness,this being my heart.For that i cherish you.And if you were a lock send by God, that loving you would be the key to opening the floodgates to everything beautiful in this world-my significant other.

random chaos

Why do i keep losing stuff?I lose everything that i own.Nothing sticks with me.Damn i hate the feeling..like they're not meant for me in the first place.They either run off even if they dont own a pair of legs or they just dissapear for gawd knows what reason.How unreliable and reckless can i get.It must be ME!Damn!

On a somehow related note, lifes been a little erratic.On a brightside, sun's been just nice and i dont need nice for now. I'm in desperated need of a real bright sunlight.I mean maybe yellow is good for now because my mood is a morose mixed of blue, grey and black and maybe a touch of white.This is all because of insecurities.Damn!Screw the insecurities man!

I feel this crazy urge to cursed.


---

oh hiatus

i've no coherent thoughts currently.
i'm sick like a dogg and i'm hating this feeling.
:(
----


Cause when ur with me ur my whole world
Like when it's just me and you
Vibe is crazy between us two
Ur my homie my lover and even my friend
Now I said this before ima say it again

can i be your entourage?
--

my significant other

I just need someone to pull me out from the craziness of everyday activity and responsibilities, the questions and nagging doubts and insecurities in my own head; buy me a drink, and just share my silence or laugh it all off with me and for a moment take those heavy thoughts away from me.


I mean to find that someone is not as simple as it sound.Trust me.

---

we are saperate entities, but we are one

you.

Weathers been rather cloudy for me
And sun's been not so very munificent
i just want my sunshine back.
nothing else.

---

period.

i'm a total wreck.

dead beat!

it happens when my sentiment fails me.

i'm done hoping

done thinking about what could have been.

I had it.

--

Sometimes in life,

You run across a love unknown,

Without a reason, it seems like you, belong.

Hold on Dear Life,

Don’t go off running from what’s new,

I became somebody, through loving you.

my nights are sleepless

am having sleepless nights.
and feeling so hollow.
like i can daze and stare vacantly through the wall.
On some nights i feel so numb and sedated that i can fall dead to the world with my eyes open.

I drown myself in helpless sighs,
swallowed the sound of my screamings
and lose myself in that empty soul
only to seek asylum in my own nighmares..

now how far will these dead thought takes me?



fiefee

...

What hurts the most,
was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away

Never knowing,
what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

----

when you walk away, I count the steps that you take

words

Words are cheap. Typed, written words.to be exact.Sometimes even spoken words.It doesn't take much effort to concoct some random paragraph. Just as I am doing now. It doesn't take much effort to lie with words. Even if I don't feel exactly very happy, all I have to do is throw in a lot of "haha"s and nobody can tell. Sometimes we hide behind the security of words, and most of the time we depend on it. If you think about it, the fairytales we read, the novels we buy, they're all somebody else's lies. In the end we're all just buying everyone's lies except our own.

We tend to depend on all the things written down.Like beautiful words said in smses, notes and letters, make meetings and said yes only to be unsure of our own answers.All they did was give us hope.Maybe even false hope.Like how we hold on to promises made, we hold on to the words said and keep them like a proofs.But then eventually, as time flys, people come and go as well and these words dont mean nothing no more.They are just plain words.I mean all i'm saying is..I had it?

---

I'll admit it

this just aint no game these just aint words that im spittin

if u can see the thoughs that's in my head

im trippin

im a playette that is true but i'll change the game for u

see wat it dooo

Can i be for real

this is how i feel

im in need for love

so let's dip up out of here

ooo your just my type

everything's alright

and i just wanna chill

so lets dip up out of here

happy 18th birthday

To the most dearest of all...hidayah
happy 18th dear sunshine...
you're a year older than yesterday..
may days ahead and your future be as bright as you ever wished for..
i've seen you grow,glow and definitely bloom into someone beautiful than ever..

We've gone thru shits,spend the most beautiful of times,
cry and laugh together
and those experiences will
be etched in my memory..
altho i forgot most of the things and have bad memory..
this precious ones never leaves the mind..and it stays true to the heart..

i love you cos you're the best gift ever.
god's given me the best therefore i'm grateful!
*hugs*


---

sidetracks..
after the mini surprise i gave her on the doorstep..
we went to school to settle some stuff and
went off to vivo city to catch MUHKSIN..
i love it!
the show was amazing.creative and its been so long
since i watch good malay show.damn!you people missed it.
ohh' the most beautiful of childhood love stories.
you know how i like the old' kampong traditional feel..
Yasmin Ahmad is damn a good director and her show is creatively brought to screeen.
gorgeous!
she make me loooooovvvvveeeee again.

Then meet the crazy drama kings and queens and we ate and camewhore at the roof top.
They made me feeeeeel reaaaal good.
I love 9th April.
I hope you do too hidaya.

wheee!


i'll sure update the crazy pretty picturessss!

family chalet

Yes.The family chalet.WE use to make it a point that once in every month we need to meet up with each other and update each other on our own lifes.But as we grow older, comes more responsibilities and our own busy schedule that now we made it so clear that we will find each other whenever we get the chance to.Our parents on the other hand made it apoint to organised a big vacation or event so that we can meet atleast once a year together not counting (kenduris and weddings).Now, that says it all.How close we are and how much we love each other.I had a blast for sure.Well what more can i ask for when i'm surrounded with my love ones.whee!

The crazy bunch of peoplesss...*hearts

happy Birthdays to them..

blooming good day

Yes!Royal's chocolate truffle and brownie is definitely a treat from heaven.

Beautiful indulgence.now what more could you ask for.and okay yes...

Fine morning to the world..

Good day to all the dudes and duddettes of all colors.

Sun's been great with their unsparing sunshine that sure makes you smile.

as you can see, am feeling all high in the early morning despite the not enough sleep due to

i-shall-not-mention what.rather dissapointing.but that was yesterday.

But i mean i start today real well with the greeting from cookies and milk.

What better way can you start your day with if its not dunking your oreos.

-

-

Today is the start of my vacation.

For the heart,mind and soul.

Oh' they never dissapoint me.

I mean seeing them itself is therapeutic enough.

I'm going to be away till sunday shumanday.

Till i come back go get some fucking life.

you people are begining to sound and become PATHETIC as it is.

so go dissapear!

like seriously get hype up

and escalate! people.

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p.s-dont find me till i'm gone please.

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it's okay...

Answer no to these questions Let her go, learn a lesson It's not me, you're not listening Now, can't you see something's missing You forget where the heart ...

Waking up from this nightmare How's your life?What's it like there?Is it all what you want it to be?Does it hurt when you think about me?And how broken my heart is..

little one..

Congratulation on your first new born...
Aunt Juliana

Little angel Nuryn Sofyna..



look at her tiny sleepyhead...

her magical sensation took all my trouble thoughts away.ohh' such pure delight.how annoyingly adorable can this little one gets.i can't help but snuggle and sniff her all day thru.

Yes!welcome little Sofie to our family.an addition to the cousins..Hurrai!

--

ouch

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:(

i want nothing more but cookies and brownies..
for now..

i wish upon nothing anymore

i saw beyond what the eye see..
i saw myself standing outside the circle you create..
i saw myself praying right from afar...
i saw myself wanting so bad to be where i thought i should have been...
but then i realise i am really not there..
and i realise that i'm not capable being where i wanna be..

because both euu and iii fail to see that time has created the loop holes btwn us..
it filled the gaps with so many things we thought we knew...
we fail to mend the loop holessss...
we walk pass the wound thinking we healed it...
but we didnt...
we really didnt...
.....

i'm tired of expecting from myself..
i'm tired of trying...
i'm tired of failing..

salam akhir..salam yang teristimewa

First and for most, alhamdulilah...Pentas Janji was a success despites whatever comments be it good or bad.Now, since its about Malay Arts Group i shall speak in Malay..

Baik lah,Alhamdulilah..selesai sudah Pentas Janji.Masa yang berlalu begitu cepat hingga sampai saat ini, aku masih belum dapat terima Pentas sudah berakhir.Fifi akan sentiasa rindu dengan semua yang berlaku sewaktu menjalani training dan rehersal bagi untuk menjayakan Pentas. Setiap tahun ..fifi hanya datang sebagai penonton dan penyokong sejak dari Pentas Wayang..Dan tahun ini, fifi berbangga kerana dapat turut terlibat dalam produksi ini. Fifi bukan hanya rindu dengan apa yang kita laku kan..tapi terutama sekali rakan-rakan seperjuangan seni yang ada.Persahabatan yang terjalin dalam masa yang suntuk ini amat berharga bagi fifi. Bukan hanya dengan rakan-rakan Titisan Temasek tapi juga dari Sri Nak Tari,Panjy Sry Temasek,Nira Nyertika dan juga Nadi Kesenian.Alhamdulilah, dengan tiadanya Camp Persada, kita dapat mengeratkan lagi persahabatan ini dan akan bergabung tangan bagi memperjuangkan seni masing-masing.Insya'allah

Fifi ingin ambil kesempatan ini untuk menggucapkan ribuan terima kasih kepada, keempat-empat director Hani,Aliff,Lela dan Ili...
kerana bukan hanya mempercayai fifi, tapi mempercayai kami semua.Kesabaran dan keyakinan anda kami jujung dan hargai.

Setelah selesai, airmata kegembiraan dan kesedihan turut dirasakan.Gembira kerana, alhamdulilah, semua yang diimpikan berjalan dgn lancar. Gembira kerana dapat membanggakan mereka yang dahulunya memperjuangkan seni ini, Siddiq dan Farhana, yang turut hadir dan turut bangga dengan pencapaian kami.Ili, yang tidak dapat menahan rasa sedih kerana usahanya berbaloi turut membuat kami sedih.
Kepada ili, kau tidak pernah mengabaikan kami...dan kejayaan kami bukan sahaja atas usaha kami sendiri, tapi dengan dorong kau.

Sebelum pulang, airmata kesedihan mengalir.Sewaktu ili memberitahu pelapis baru bagi committee Titisan Temasek yang bakal menaikkan lagi nama kami sendiri. Aku sedih, kerana baru aku sedar, Ili dan Mas sudah sampai ke menara gading.Aku tidak sangka, dalam masa setahun ini, persahabatan aku dengan mereka begitu akrab.Kita melalui masa masa pahit dan manis bersama.Aku dan Ili, mempunyai banyak persamaan.Banyak.Sungguh banyak yang telah kami lalui bersama.

To ili, we shared so much within this year..it feels like i've known euu forever.We shared so many things in common as tho, we were like mirror image.(Not exactly).Our similar characteristic brought us so close together.The bond we share was what amazes me.I could hardly be close to people that easily, but with you, it was different.Very different.We had our little squabbles,aku pincing fights, our crazy moments, bitching sessions and more.We gone thru so much in such a short year.It was awesome.Blast.I wuldn't exchange them for anything.....
Ili, i wanna thank you.Ili, i wouldnt be where i am now if, it's not because of you.Of how you believe in me and you motivating and teaching me.I thank you from the bottom of my heart.Our friendship means a whole world to me..so stick together please till death do us part.Jangan abaikan kami..

Kepada semua yang menjayakan Pentas...dari di atas pentas mahupun di belakang tabir...terima kasih..
dan teruskan la memperjuangkan seni kami yang tersendiri...majula MAG.

PENTAS JANJI 2007