It felt like decades.There could have been spiderwebs in here.
Life's been far too kind eversince to write shits.I'm just a lucky ass this actually happen to me.
But whatever it is, even if there shits happens, it happens for a reason.
So yes.On a lovely note, i just miss writing and ranting.
It's a good thing. That means i finally have more time for myself.
More time for myself, for the lovely girls and for You perhaps.
ignorance doesnt solve it.it only made it worst.
ive come to alot of point ever since the 'world' i built crumbled on me.
i rebuilt it with so much faith and trust which i swear, i never knew where it came from.
but i'm haunted.haunted every now and then with painful images of what had been or should have been.of the past.which brings nothing but fear and frustration.
im blessed.i truly am.
of how ive reshaped my life.
but im trying to get out from this rut im in.
---
it kills me when eu speak of me as such.
it kills me when the history repeats itself.
it kills me.
='(
Im a bloody sceptic.I mean my hell hole is all about limitations and boundaries.i watch my step so closely i even know when im going to fall and yes on a side note my insecurities and stupidities, they are not your fucking problem to begin with. I mean the entire world is insecure and sadly indenial.Face it.But im talking about me.Having 'second guess-ers' is really not of any help for me.A little optimism wouldn't hurt.would it?i mean i do theater for crying out loud, i can tell you well and i know when the world is doubting my words,actions slash decisions just by looking at them or through them. Its funny how these things work. These people want you to try but doubt you and pathetically they are your friends.Im not into this 'proving them' shit, i have nothing to prove and i dont need to prove to nobody especially you.so ya.
you can't possibly shut the world from making their remarks can you?
haha.
---
cos boy everything feels so real when im with youTime flies quickly to be honest.quicker than i thought it would.
oh no, not complaining, rather amazed.i was hoping it dragged for me.
i knew i once wanted time to go on a standstill; for me to breathe slow.
sucking it in and finding tune.but time rush me through.
i survived.it wasn't so bad afterall.
in fact it went really well.
--
well here's something to share,
i had the most amazing 3 days straight of my life,
beautifully spent with beautiful people.
Saturday 4th April 2009
RETRO Themed. Organized by the talented of bunch and loveliest of people.
It was a farewell party for us seniors and it was nothing but wonderful.
Sunday 5th April 2009
Piala KGMS organized by Kesatuan Guru-Guru Melayu Singapura.
A Dikir Barat Competition.This girls was a fun and nice bunch of people and to spend my precious Sunday with them was pleasant!
And emcee-ing has never been this spontaneous for me!A great experience.
Thank you for this oppurtunity and all the best to Durbar Dua and Andika.
Monday 6th April 2009
Titisan @ Sentosa was nothing but smashing fun!
The spirit was there all along despite the heavy rain.
From a wet weather plan of playing taboo to the water games of back flips and water pyramid.
To onshores games of monopoly, uno and the very famous 'first impression game'.
One hell of a day.
it hurts when reality slaps you hard in the face.
well it sucks like fuck cos they dont spare you.
they give you right in front of your face
they leave you to cry and cope it all on your own.
they give you when you thought you were at your peak
or just when you are about to settle in.
they give you in silence even the person next to you dont notice what more the world.
---
im so crushed.
quit rewinding.pause.appreciate.
im sucking it in.breathing 21st.
it felt so good.so very good.
im counting my blessings.
--
nothing could be more real than being around you
" I want you to learn how to feel.Not hear.
Hear not only from the mouth, but hear directly from the heart. "
- him
--
cos now, every insignificant matters are significant afterall.
they are accountable for and matters.
my 21st was pleasantly beautiful.
nothing could be more meaningful than that.
Thank you to 'Life' in particular.
may it be wishes or being right there with me
cos you people have grown to be my 'Life'
being there felt SO RIGHT.
21st means a new level altogether for me.
may it be a blessed journey.
may it be a wiser year.
