Friday Foto: Déjà vu

I think falling in love is a little like having visitors. You push the things you have to do aside and make the time to participate in life. The balance shifts in favor of fun and recreation, of sights and sounds and sensory perception. Slow conversations and leisurely meals. Mixing things up and staying away from routines….

Of course it is a big cosmic joke because when the visitors leave, or when the honeymoon is over, real life and routine become a juggling act where mortgages, careers, children, elderly relatives, schedules, housework….fuck I’m tired just by putting it all down on paper. Where was I? Oh yeah, with all the balls in the air the ones that tend to get dropped are the leisurely ones. At least, it did for us. Not absolutely, but enough.

I’ve written this before, but surviving cancer helped me put things back into perspective. To let some things go, to make time for others. To appreciate the little moments and figure ways to fit in more of them. I got a reminder of that that last month. That scare has helped me once again slow down my frenzied tendencies.

One late afternoon last week that I spent with my daughter gave me a strong feeling of déjà vu. I picked her up in town from work and we were going to see a play together. It was preview night and therefore was free. We wanted to get something to eat, maybe a little on the treat side, but within budget.

We picked up some food to go and headed out for a picnic on the wall overlooking the ocean as you drive around Diamond Head.

When my husband and I were dating, we had many a lunch date on that wall. Afterwards, we would break out the backgammon board. We’d straddle the wall, sitting in one direction for an hour, then we'd switch places so we did not tan on only one side. We would play so many games we called them tournaments, and we'd place bets. If neither of us had to work that night, we’d do this all the way from lunch until sunset. Time moved slowly.

While I sat there having a picnic dinner with my daughter I thought about the me that had sat on that same spot, over twenty years before....

Green papaya salad and summer rolls.

Lychee iced tea (me) and iced latte (daughter)

Not the greatest foodie shot. Sorry folks.

The view.




The path.

Through the plumeria tree.

Plumeria.

The play was free. The Thai food to go was $13.27. The drinks from the coffee house one block over from the Thai restaurant were $6.75. The view was free. Our night out came in at just $20, so I'm cross listing this as a Money in the Bank post. For more money saving ideas, clink on the piggy bank or this link to Money in the Bank host, Words of Wisdom from a Smart Mouthed Broad.

For more Friday Fotos, head on over to Candid Carrie's.

Money in the Bank Meets Earth Day Leftovers

Words of Wisdom from a Smart Mouthed Broad hosts a very cool blog theme, Money in the Bank. I’ve written a couple of posts for MIB, but truth be told, I am not creative with money saving ideas because we never have much after paying bills. We stopped going out to eat except for rare occasions years ago, I hardly shop, and we rarely travel. The smartest thing we did was to buy a house. Then we never did anything else except make mortgage payments, raise children, and go to the beach. Which is mostly free except for the gas...

However.

My friend P is hosting a potluck clothes swapping party next week. This idea/event is one I’d forgotten about and is a worthy enough to make mention. P is hosting this one in the name of Earth Day, but we have been doing this for years. Most of my circle of friends come from my days of working in restaurants. Most of us have been friends for over 25 years. Some, like me, have gone into professions that provide a living but where one will never be wealthy in material things. A few others have done quite well financially. There is a definite advantage at the event for those of us less wealthy, but my more affluent friends are happy to leave with less than they came with and have room in their closets once again. They enjoy passing their clothes on to their friends much more than getting the tax break for donating them.

So, once every couple of years, we have a clean out your closets party. Everyone cleans out her closet and brings the unwanted items. Each of us brings a dish for the potluck and there are several bottles of wine. We throw all the clothes into a huge pile and then go through it after eating, but of course while still drinking. Redistribution.

It is a great money saving idea. Loads of fun with friends. Have a fashion show. Walk about half nekkid. It’s just the girls, you know?

And, speaking of Earth Day, I came upon some really good reads lately for those of you who are interested. Salon has these articles:

Can we afford to eat ethically?

Big agriculture’s big lie.

We are what we eat.

I also have been following a blog, Reduce Footprints: Easy ways for each of us to reduce our footprints on the earth. I found the series on the Rainforests really interesting and well written. There are parts one, two, three, and four.

And while we are on the subject of green, let’s go full circle back to Smart Mouth. She gave me something green for the blog.

Smart Mouth passed on the Zombie Chicken Award to moi.

I love you Smart Mouth. But, seriously. I really would like to have the time and tenacity to find the blogger that created this one. What was he or she drinking? The award definitely stands out in the crowd. And in the theme of things, the zombie chickens probably represent what we have to look forward to if we don’t take better care of the earth.




It comes with this description:

The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken - excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all...

Well then. That snazes it up – quite a wonderful write up. Thank-you again Smart Mouth for such kind words in my direction.

While there are many blogs out there I’d crush a zombie chicken’s skull to get to, I’ll pass it on to these must read bloggers.

Bern This

Captian Dumbass at Us and Them

Braja at Lost and Found in India

Mo "Mad Dog" Stoneskin

Suburb Sanity

Friday Foto: Waikiki

Sometimes family togetherness is not all it’s cracked up to be. Especially when resources are low. Not enough money, not enough time. Not nearly enough patience. Never enough compromising in the world when it is one of those days where everyone wants something different. Eventually, it leads to moments when a more or less sane person can be led to the edge, look over the cliff, and wonder how bad the fall might be to get the fuck to that quiet place way down yonder.

So far though, every time I hang on and get through one of these moments – actually week(s) – I am rewarded for my perseverance. The teens get along, the husband stops being edgy and bullish, the bills somehow get paid.

Or a friend visits. Spending the week with my friend I do believe magically made my family far more appreciative of my time, since they were getting none of it.

So on Monday, after taking my friend to the airport and returning home, I had plans with my family. We had a gift certificate from Christmas to The Cheesecake Factory in Waikiki and we were going to have a family day out. However, daughter needed us to be home by six, son had not gotten home by two in the afternoon.

Hubs and I ditched them. We turned it into a belated Valentine’s date. We had a lovely late afternoon meal and then took a sunset stroll down Waikiki Beach. It was so beautiful, so romantic, I decided to invite the internet.

The Royal Hawaiian Hotel.


The Royal Hawaiian just reopened after seven months of renovations.

Love me a long, spooky hallway.

The Royal Hawaiian was the first hotel in Waikiki. It is my favorite. You can feel the old times, you can almost see the ghosts of a time gone by in the hallways. I was afraid they might ruin this with the renovation, but the old style is still there. This is a window box along one of the corridors.

Coming through the hotel out to the beach.

Royal Hawaiian Mai Tai Bar. One of our family's favorite summer sunset treat places to go.

Diamond Head while walking down the beach.

Sunset

Sheraton's Rum Fire Bar. We stopped for a sunset drink before heading home.

We used a gift certificate at the Cheesecake Factory, and since we ate there they validated our parking. The Rum Fire Bar was having happy hour and our bill was $9.98 plus tip. Since I was such a cheap date for Valentine's, my Friday Foto is doubling as next week's Money in the Bank. Join the fun in handing out tips on ways to save money over at Smart Mouthed Broad.

For more Friday Fotos, head on over to Candid Carrie's.

If you are blog reading this weekend, I just found this terrific blog. It came recommended by Ryan over at the Panic Room.

Have a great weekend internet!

Money in the Bank: Numero Uno

My good friend Smart Mouthed Broad started a weekly themed blog post. She was inspired by a spin topic from Sprite’s Keeper about being sensible with money during these economic times.
I appreciate Smart Mouth including me in her initial group of askees. But I have to admit, I feel a bit unworthy. I’ve never had a lot of money in the bank. My parents were both horrible with money and did not teach me a thing. Now THERE’S a post or two. On just how bad they were with money.

Learning how to manage money has been like a cultural anthropological experiment for me (kind of like raising kids). I knew what NOT to do, but I had to use my observation powers to figure out some things TO DO.

So here’s my tip for my first roll with this theme. It helps when one does not give a flying fuck what others think of the car one drives. This, I did not have to learn. I’ve always been this way, albeit, a lone freak during my early adult days.

I was born and raised in the Los Angeles area. Land of image equals everything. If you live in Southern California, please do not get offended. But…true story. Just before I moved to Hawaii, I was hanging in a club one night, making time with a decent looking chap who was talking me up. Within three minutes he had worked into the conversation (without my asking) that he drove a Porsche and that a few nights before he had been at some famous actor’s house for a party (rubbing elbows with famous people is as important as one’s car, clothes, and accessories – I guess the celebrities fit into the necessary accessories category).

I was young and my 20 year old VW bug was alright by me. When I got to Hawaii, I soon sold my car for a moped. Paying my own way through college, I decided the insurance and what not unnecessary expenses. Besides, I could wake up at the very last minute and ride that moped right up to wherever my class was, a real perk when one is cocktailing one’s way through college.
After marriage, my husband rode my moped to work and I (who worked farther away) took his…guess what Mr. Right drove…you got it, a VW bug.

When we had daughter we needed a car with seat belts to strap in her car seat. Hubs’ grandma knew an old man at church who was selling his 15 year old Ford Fairmount with low mileage for $700 and we snapped it up. My friends made endless fun of this clunker car, but having no car payment enabled us to save up money for our down payment on a house. It is not easy buying a house over here, but we did. We’ve done nothing much else since, but we are homeowners.

I now own a hatchback hybrid – first car I ever bought brand new. I share it with my daughter, who drives it to UH everyday as this is cheaper than her dorming. I either catch rides from hubs or take the bus to work since I only live a few miles from the school where I teach.

So there it is. My advice for saving money is to drive a car one can afford and to not let a car be a money drain,nor an accesory, nor an extension of one's ego. Head on over to Words of Wisdom From a Smart Mouthed Broad to see what other money tips are circulating.

Ours was white....