kinship

"Blood is thicker than water"

Hmmm... this phrase has been on my mind for quite sometime.... Strangely, i dun agree with the phrase at all. I duno.. Personally, maybe it made sense years ago.. centuries.. but not anymore.
Sadly, kinship is the most scary one. Coz they know too much about you, your flaws and ur weaknesses.. they tend to hit it where it hurts most. They are those to whom you must always maintain your limits and say the right thing at the right time... so strange but true! It can always and i mean always be backfired!!

What he told me that day, did affect me to some extend. Will learn my lesson from there and know wat to expect in future. Thanks aniwae.. for the reminder;) Will forgive but never will i forget!:D

I have given it much thought... and yea.. i will be reacting the way i am right now!

Tralalala... i am a happy person.. :P

On a much happy note,
Celebrated my mom's birthday at Fish&CO and Haigen Daz.. Yummy mummy!! keke... Had the seafood platter and chocolate Fondue!!! Orgasmic soo it was!! haha ;) Happy BIRTHDAY MOM!! She's a nice one laa.. at times okok most of the time kanchiong spider and irritating.. but she is nice laaar! hahaha
Mommy.. hear this.. i do love you! MUakies! :D

so take me away

Libidos.

Such an eventful month April has been. With lotsa ridiculous things happening. Haha.. Come to think of it... its been soo farnie. Almost each and every day had some misfortune happening.

Always been mallowing in self sympathy ... and infact unconsciously created it as my comfort zone. Shall not elaborate too much on it.
Lets put the past behind.. and look forward for the better things in life.

WONDERING WHERE I GOT ALL THIS GOOD VIBES AND POSITIVE OUTLOOOK FROM??

Yesh.. yesh... MY DEAR LIBIDOS!! That SUnday was an awesome day although it din start off too good or end too good. Aniwaes...

We were all suppose to meet... but we had our reasons not to.. Though, it din stop there....

Calling each other when, MeL was in camp and was doing his runs and illegally talking to us..
Ja who was with her parents visting her grans and yet still devoted her time to us...
Cat who's parents left to go lunch without her, thinking she going out with us.. ended up we din and ended up she starving..
Jer who was tired... still spoke to us..
BEa who would have been in the convo if she was not so far away but i know she still was in by heart.

Although each and every one of them had one or something to attend to, we devoted our solid 3 hours to each other.

That 3 hours, really meant aloooot to me. It was something NO ONE and i mean NO ONE could have presented to me. THOse 3 hours made a difference in my life. It made me think abt my view of life and made me a better and happier person.

Thanks so much for all the honesty and trust you guys put in this lovely frenship we share. Nothing beats this awesome relationship. I am truly thankful to have got to know you all. You guys are definitely, no doubts abt it... the best people in my life!!

NOw i am a Happy girl NO matter what happens... I will always ignore the negative stuff and the mishaps and look at the good stuff.. =) easier said then done.. NOt really its actually quite easy!!! trust me!! :P

MY LIBIDOS MY LIFE!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

so take me away

FUCK ALL!!!

Apethatic, cynical, obsessive, narcisstist melancholic mildly psychotic, mildly masochist morbid weirdo

speaks for itself then.... =)

so take me away

FARK OFF!!

U NOE WAT!!
Vinodhini K Cowell is an out spoken girl. Someone who speaks her mind and doesnt care what the world thinks abt her!
FUCK THE WORLD!!! FUCK THE SOCIETY!!
Alright... this is me.
What u see is what u get.
I like to crap, i love drawing attention(when i am bored and i do it in a most harmless manner), i love to argue a point. Improves one's knowledge you know.
I like to have fun. i love to laugh over silly things and always enjoy making people happy.
I like a conversation to be always interesting.
Involving a lil sex humours the whole convo. and i believe its truly normal AND NOT SLUTTY OR BITCHY UNLESS U ARE SOME TYPICAL DUMB FUCK!
I AM LOUD!!! AND I GET UNCOMFY WHEN PPL ARE UPSET WITH ME or when i OFFEND SOMEONE!
I wan everyone to be happy with my presence and not a burden or a bother.
I AM AN IRRITANT.... true... but i am TOTALLY HARMLESS!
I can be a total childish shit... but trust me I KNOW what i am doing...
I AM SMART and I AM HAVE MY DIGNITY!
I HAVE MY PRINCIPLES IN LIFE!!
I am a Virgin.. so i claim myself a truly decent and pure girl. SO what if i am just plain Horny and notty and cheeky!! ITS TOTALLY FINE!!!
AT least i dun go around screwing or getting laid!! TATS A BITCH OR SLUT!! LAme...
I am a loud person and i am broad minded. I enjoy talking anything under the sun.
It relieves stress and broadens the mindset. Allows more opinions.
I dun like to take advantage of ppl... i like to share my problems and allow others to share theirs... it makes life much more :D and I hate loathe burdening ppl.
And much much more......

DUN LIKE ALLLLL THESE?
solution....

FARK OFF!

Period




FUCK OFF!!

so take me away

FUCK ALL!!!

Goodness Gracious me!!
I dun get it.
Whats with you ppl man???!?!
Arghh!!!
Wish i wasnt in Singapore!?!?
Wish i wasnt an indian?!?!
Wish i can smack all these ppl?!?!
Wats with this ppl man!?!?!
Hahaha... fucking HYpocrites.
Losers!! Lifeless fuckers!!
All you guys wanna do is get into a gurls pants... and if u dun, She becomes a slut or a bitch!!
HAHA! Wat a joke!!
Lame.. Goodness wat destroyers these fucking species(male) can be?!?!
BOy.... i wonder...
Like Get a Life!!
Now... its even wrong to be urself.. even wrong to be broad minded and speak ur mind.. its wrong to be crappy and its wrong to be smart (or a lil argumentative)...
COZ U ALL ARE JUST PLAIN DUMB!!
its write to be quiet... listen to whateva the species say and if he wants to get into ur pants.. assist him and she becomes a nice gurl.... but a slut to herself!?!?
I DUN GET IT?!?!?
And if she cant get over her ex... she is stewpid she is useless she is wasting her time?!?!
ITs not that easy guys, its not that easy... Easy for u all who can just forget it and screw another one... BUt not for us. Understand!??!
Haiz. .see what he got me into? HEartaches Heartaches and more of such...
Haiz... he must be real happy out there.... Nvm be happy just be happy...

I AM BRAIN DEAD.....i cant continue.....................................................................

so take me away

April happenings..

Its Saturday. According to the tamil calender... its our NEW YEAR!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR all my fello apoo nenehs!! :P

On a more pissed note,
Mom woke up real early to do the procedures and cook for us some vveg food. ..
The Father was watching tv....
I finished my morning duties and went down...
Mom asked "The father" something abt the actress on tv... HE din ans..
And suddenly he threw a big fuss and started chiding her.. and refused to have lunch...
And Gawd the words he use!!!
Sometimes... i reallly sympathize with my mom. Its really tuff being one.
Having to compromise with everyone in the family and doing her best to please everyone.
Haiz... its not easy at all man!!
And all that the man does is ... WHINE RANT AND THROW TANTRUM!
Gawd... the words they use... LIKE MCM they KING! we slaves..
GO AND DIE!!
Hmmmm.... seeing all these I LOATHE. a male's companion ...
I mean not all are like that... but... arghhh i duno man... Maybe its just 'indian men'...
I dun mean to be racist or wat... but based on experience... they are a whole lot more hot tempered and abusive and what not man... Haiz.. saddening..

What's ur take on Broad minded girls? Notice its not OPEN but broad...
Hmmm... I duno.. it seeems ppl always think such gurls are nothing but BOOBIES AND SEX!
Gawd... when will the mindset ever change??!?
Broad-minded girls are nothing but ppl who are rather outspoken, cheeky(as it adds color to a convo) and totally harmless... we just love the whole giggly, farnie, notty, convo...
SOME PPL JUST DONT GET IT!!
Omigosh she is talking abt dicks and wat not... wat a bitch.. slut she is.. blablabla...
NAME OF FUN! get it... pervies!! kekeke..

PS: Photography is self expression. Display of emotions.

Bro is at NS. GAwd.. i Freaking missssshhh him!! Dearie Kartik, I always scold u shout at u for taking my things.. blablabla... now i freaking misss ya.. sorrie i couldnt make it to send yaa darling... stewpid work la... muakies.. u noe i love u loads my dear bro kartik.. faster come back.. amoi wanna tell u something kekeke... I MISH U BOY!! :D

School's getting more interesting... My classmates rock! keke..
Kavitha
The quiet yet happening girl who is smart as well. Very helpful too.. Thanks for all ur help dearie.
Samantha..
My daaarling at school. haha the one girl who loves herself just like me!! keke.. we prefer the same subway bread too!! we loove pink togather gether... and lobe taking pics too wor!! wheee!! kekeke...
Cai YIng
The girl who is just as farnie and fun and has good handwriting.. :D
Syazlin
AHHHH!!!! My clone in a hotter self, cutie self, and ahhh she is sooo coool!! haha.. ;)
and we have the rest like ranjeet, yaya and divya!! :D
Lassst but not least ...
HOw can we forget MS SARAS!! the eva happening cool lecturer!! kekeke I JUST LOVE HER AND THEM ALL! kekekeke ;)
Muakies... thanks dearies for making school rocks...

oh.. its gonna be samantha's birthday sooooooon...

I truly miss the libs!! MISS THEM TO THE CORE!! THey called me for Newton DInner and Zouk Clubbing.. as usual... as usual.. I COULDNT BE THERE!!!! =((((

Hmmm sorrie my dearies.. .i miss you guys totally... but yea... some other time..
Was reading thru cat's blog... darling... Dun be soo down okie.. U ARE HOT and U ARE SMART and u are everything laaar! DUn be so disheartened okie.. I LOBE U NO MATTER WAT!!
and dearie Jaja... wat u mean hello to lust?!?! kekeke dun be kinkie eh! kekek ;) later jer excited. kekekeke
MY DEARIE BOYS!! MUAKIES AND HUGGLES.... kekeke

The whole emo thingy is not gone yet man... WTF!!! its stuck to me soo long.. its like my bestest fwen!! eeeeeeeee go away i dun want u!! HAiz... I still keep thinking abt him lor.. wats wrong with me man?!!? wat in the world is wrong with me?!?! hmmmm... I need to wake up my idea..

Everyone LOVE ME OKIE???? keke
mad.
BYE!

so take me away

All in a month's..

All in a month's.
Gawd. So much to say.
LOtsa stuff happened..
Found out that he was cheating on me.. HAiz.
Heart Break to the core.
Like wtf.
Hmmm... Still cant get over it..
All the words and emotions exchanged.
JUst Crazy..
Started School already.
Interesting ppl.. esp syazlin.
Damn cool babe. Reminds me of myself.. Hahaz..
Damn shacked everyday..
Work School back home to shit.
Home's not heavenly. Even shittier. (when will it eva stop i wonder)
Haiz... No ones realizing that i am growing, growing into an uptight emotion-filled baggage.
All these getting to me. Gawd.
Lotsa nice ppl again on the way..
But THEY ALL DUN UNDERSTAND.
Its just another helpless pathetic gurl on the way...
Haiz... I LAUGH I SMILE I JOKE I CRAP....
But... No one sees the real broken torn gurl.
Everyone things i am soo patethic... getting upset over trivial issues..
But its NOT THAT WAY PPL!!!
Did I mention?.. Workplace getting terrible. TOO MUCH POLITICS INTAKE!
I CANT STAND IT.
Met up with the libs after a long time... at airport...
talked over problems... Realised they having their own problems too!
HAIZ! the year of a PIG! HOW FUCKED UP!!!
DUn worrie my dear libidos... We willl stand by each other okie!
MUAKIES AND HUGGIES!!! oh btw jer looks hotter now! ;) winkie. Not forgetting cat and her drastic hair cut wch turned out hart! ;)
Hmmmm....
Oh yaa... just wanted to say, ppl always like get the wrong idea.. this goes out to a particular person,
Well, well i aint hitting on ya bf. ALright... So come on... dun give me that.. and like... We are just merely frens. and yea.. i behave to everyone like that and yea.. its just me... We can talk so yea..
He's been giving me that cold shoulders.. well not cold shoulders..
Just harmless ignorance.. its obvious.. but yea i guess u have to be that way! to save ur own ars.
Hmmm...
People Farnie!!
Well... I stil cant get over you. NOt at all!
HAIZ.. its tuff.. everythign reminds me of ya!
GAwd.. its crazy.. HOw i can tear just thinking abt you...
WHat hav u DONE MAN!? haiz..
UR words.. just pierce thru.. OUCH! it is...
DID something i Never did b4!!
Regretted it big time did we!
YUCK! wont eva forget that shitty feel. Gross!!
Started slitting again. Why the fuck!
Such a loser i am. Like Raven said.. i should stop dwelling on self sympathy..
But i aint. its like everytime i let myself Know... " Hey Cowell, COME ON! U ARE STRONG!"
Then the evil devil on the side goes" ahhh come stop shitting urself.. u Noe u are sad u NOe u lost it all..." GOSH!!!

WAteva... i am trying to move on..
Ppl fine me weird and snappy and wat not..
Frens are starting to part of.. well its common in my life.. so yea..
Nana, i duno. but yea.. Its painful!!
Vas u another one... hmmmm
I am not bothering anymore. GEt away!
I AM WHO I AM, TAKE ME FOR WHO I AM OR JUST FUCK OFF!!
Please thanks.
PArdon me ..
Chatted with Raven today!
Gawd.. so satisfying..
He's got shit too! But its amazing how he shoulders it and move on...
Hmmm Not forgetting Vicky,
Dude, Duno wats up with ya? But u have to accept me man.. i am like this.. DUN LIKE ME,
GET AWAY FROM ME!
ANd Poley thanks for that few moments of joy. Appreciate it...

Theres more... But those are all sucky situations. lets just say.
I FORGOT THEM!
Period

so take me away

MY ONE TRUE LOVE

Spent the whole night in tears. Felt so fucked up.

I don't really understand whats going on?! I mean I know its all over, but why! All that you said when we were courting felt so blissful, so honeyed, so true. But now everything is gone. You listened to all those biatches out there and do this to me. Hmmm. Well, I agree i aint a saint and i did have my part in displeasing you, but then again, everyone of us has an unpleasant past and don't wish to talk about it.

Even you do, i am sure. Haiz.. guess u have not understood me enuff. Well, peoples words are more impt for ya then go ahead with them. I really din aspect this from ya. But what the heck, ITS ALL HAPPENING!!!

Well, from the start i always had this feeling you will do this someday. But i choose not to think that way and live every moment with you in glee. Once told me, you threw your..... gift in the dustbin and broke..... on Vday! WHy din i see it coming?! Hmmm....

But you gave me 3 or so very good slaps on the day i spoke to you after soooooooo very long! I guess you dun wat its like to get hurt and torn and tattered to that extend. THen again it boils down to you being a MAN. (Defined as a heartless, mean creature- not to all though)

Slap 1) ..... and oh its not date.. its DATESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! -> whoa!! wat a slap on my face!! i din noe that was coming man... haiz.. you din had to add that?!? ok nvm.

Slap 2) .... Well did i ask for the gifts?!?! throw them away or give them to someone else laa?!?!
WAAAAAAAAAAH! in wch frame of mine did u actually tell those stuff to me man!?!?! Goodness!! it was as good as killing me! (by the way the family block choco i bought you has melted and its still in there in my cupboard... in that bag... I NOE YOU LOVE FAMILY BLOCKS! damn...

Slap 3) ... I have already forgotten. Thats why I din not reply you the whole morning... Hmmm.. Thanks man.

Despite all these words, you still have the cheek to tell me that you have not forgotten me and still wanna call me Winnie and say all these nice things to me?! FOR WAT FUCK!?!

Quit playing the mind games you had been doing sometimes for these 9 months.. I bared with them ... but not any longer. How could you man?

Reminscing....

and i think abt the times you went for chalets and met me in the early mornings just to have Breakfast with me and send me off to work. ( HOw fuckign sweet can that get?! ) laffing abt the arsy lady and all... and not finishing you food ( carrot cake) Haiz..

Think abt the times you rush from the chalets to the interchange just to send me off home. Slack with me at Sunplaza and wait till the limit we can and kanchiong for taxi to send me back. Still rmb the thrilling rides we have back home, dreadin at all the traffic lights. and how you still manage to make me smile amidst all those kanchiongness.. Haiz...

think abt the times, YOu come allll the way from bishan just to send me home and go back home to bishan. Goodness.. Never had anyone been these sweeet. How can i ever forget all theSE?!
Everytime i finish work, i look at that corner and always have to distract myself... Haiz...

Think abt the times when my mom found out and such big hoo haa... But how you rushed over during my lunch time and held me in ur arms... At my office smoking corner.. It was heavenly!! i felt soo secure and sooo carefreee... You just melted me.. How do i forget that man!?! HOW!! Haiz..

Think abt the times, my bro wanted to see you and how kanchiong i felt, but it all went fine and how my bro was happy to see a nice guy like you!

Think abt the times, you always call me at nite and i will end up sleeping and how u still wont get pissed but still smile and yet u wont put the down the phone... but insist in me sleeping then u silently kiss me good nite and put the phone down... HAiz...

Think abt the times, when i had no hp and how we wrote to each other thru this lil diary.. All the emotions we share and all the times i badly needed to hear you yet i controlled (vice versa) and wrote all my genuine emotions.. and how excited i would be to see wat u have written in that lil diary.. never did anyone gave me such delight. how sweet of ya... seriously. ..

Think abt the times, we quarrelled and yet the very next min , cant leave without each other. Hated that whole feeling.. But now it seems like its gonna be there foreva.. Coz i still feel the same way but you dun it seems.. haiz.

Think abt the times, i made you lil stuff and how you would happily appreciate my lil stuff for ya.. and kiss me or pat my head. How sweeet... Fuck... haiz..

Think abt the times, we went out to Vivo, where you woke up late, yet rushed over just to meet me and made me all happy and how we went up that ship, looked at the sky and you told me, " i wish we can just go off in this ship..." OMIGOSH@ how fucking sweeeet. haiz...

Think abt the times, we went to watch movies, and although u hated that movie you still watched it coz i liked it... damn... the way i snuggled to you and felt soo comfortable.. wish it had beeen like this foreva...

Think abt the time, you bought me that samuel and kevin top and how delighted i was and went it had a lil small tear i cried the whole nite!!

Think abt the times, when you were having tuff times, and i missed you to the core... all i did was cry and cry and long for ya to pick up ur phone or call me..

Think abt the times, we went out shopping and no matter how much i made u walk here and there u din complain and even agreed to take neoprints although u dun fancy them!! Haiz.. its soo much hurt.. i miss all these and more.. i want you just need you.. BUT...

You will always be the one in my mind somewhere in my heart. Everything reminds me of ya..
ITS ALLL GONE! ITS ALL TOO LATE!! you just loathe me fullstop

so take me away

Pictures!!

MY prezzies!!
Rudy and meee! :P

so take me away

21st Birthday!!

Hey!! Its been soooo long since I last blogged. Hmmm...
How could I not tell you abt my 21st! '

Man... ok lets start with the 10th of Febbie.

Cat & Jer met me and my parents at TM.
Waited sooooo loooong to get my HP! wheee! Nokia7390PowderPink(thx to zak!)
Ja joined us later. Sooooooo suuuuuper delighted man!
Parents went back, the rest of us went to AJISEN to eaaaat!! (Ja's treat-thnks dearie)
Ja and Jer went for mass while Cat and me slacked at TM a while and went to NTUC to get some snacks for the Stayover!! wheeee...
Dropped off at Loyang Point to rent some movies.. :P

Libidos stayed over.. Spend the nite watching movies slacking and guess waaat... MELU CAME!
and with a surprise... He rushed all the way from home after camp, bought Ben&Jerry's choco ice cream and Vienatta cake and like surprised me with a birthday sooong at 12am exactly!!
HOW SWEEEET CAN TAT BE RITE!?!?!?!
My god.. it was sooo touching i wanted to cry... Muakies my dear libidos..

thats like only one part... We all went up to my room.. and its
OPENING PREZZIES TIME!!

Jaja- gave me this gorgeous necklace pendant set with pink diamonds... Alll sparkling and pretty! Goodness... So niceeee...
Cathy- Gave me this really cool personalized Bear. It has a birthcert and the same shades as mine and its One in a million... Its damn cool.. when u press its hand it goes "Mooo!!" how cute right!!
Jer- Gave me an ORIGINAL LIVERPOOL JERSEY!! ahhhh muacks muacks
MELO- gave me a sexay Bikini Set... whooooooooo kinkie! ;) kekeke from Sheer Romance ah...


You know honestly, Libidos,
You guys just rock my sock man! haiz.. really there is no words to describe how much i appreciate you guys! Its just unbelievable!! How you guys make me Happy Smile and make my day all the time... Without you guys there is never a Happy COwell.. Thanks soo much hunnie.. You guys just rock man!! Understanding every lil thing and pushing me up. I maybe 21 all matured and legal but honestly without u guys i am just some lil fry out there.... thanks for all the advice support and smiles OMIGOD... i cannot THank you guys enuff i swear!!
MUAKIES AND HUGGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


and also my dear colleagues,
who made my birthday all happening and fun.. thanks for all your prezzies and company!! :P

finally my family,
although you guys put me in a fix at times, Thanks to each and everyone of ya for making it all happen! haha ;)

THANKS THANKS THANKS...

Am finally 21:P

so take me away

=)

Hmmm went for a new HAIRCUT REBONDING HIGHLIGHTING! :P
Not very pleased with the results though..

Went out with Lagu. Sooooooooooo FUN!! :P hahha thanks for the day BOy!
I like the place we were hanging out too..
Damn niceeeeeee... :D

so take me away