it's FLYDAY!!!

but it's the first i'm not experiencing that kind of thrill, haaa!
cos im already on holiday and everyday's like a friday to me, heeeee...
i know u all are gonna hate me for saying that, but...

EVERYDAY IS LIKE A FRIDAY FOR ME!!!!!
muahahahhahaa.......


anyway, on a more serious note.. im not really into the mood to enjoy this well-deserved break full-swing. cos my mind has been made up. Tomorrow i'm gonna send in my resignation letter so after serving this one month's notice, i can then fully concentrate on doing some other stuff.
im sooooo motivated now! haha..
it's like stepping into the deep blue sea out of my comfort zone. i dont know what is to come and what my future will bring, but one thing for sure is, i feel FREE!!!!!
and i am determined to make things work!!

dad's back from his work trip and all's well again, haaa.. my mommy is happy and i am happy too, haaa..
he brought gifts for us!!
these are mine!

a leather wallet, an Opal pendant+necklace and a furry koala bear pouch, haaa
frankly speaking, i dont think i'll use any of that, haha.. but it's still very nice of him! =)

he bought a blue opal pendant for my mommy and it's so much nicer than the woody one i've got! haaa.. pian xin!!!! keke... but of cos, this goes without saying!
he's uber sweet! no wonder mom still cant get enough of him after sooooo many years! keke...

Oh yah... another thing to cheer about! my dad gave me a digi-cam!! im so HAPPPPPPYYYYY!!!!!!
cos mine was spoilt and that explains the lack of photos in my previous posts! haaaa.. so unlike me right.. cos i admit im darn ZI-LIAN cannn???? haaa..


i got myself a new swimwear toooo!!! wahahhahaa...

i know i shouldnt have chosen BLACK since the color would make me look even smaller up there, ahaaa...but i love those prints on the boyshorts lar....

Someone, bring me to sentosa to tan please!!! hahaaa.... my galfrens seem very ON about the idea of going there to suntan during the holidays! hehe.. let's see uh!
*wink


caught the movie 'Enchanted' with jayen yesterday since it was his OFF day..like FINALLY! haaa...
nice show, a little fairy tale like and we both love it to bits! jayen still singing the songs -_- after we left the theatre shows how much he enjoyed it, haaa -_-

we're both darn broke!!!! but we learnt to spend the minimum! keke....
BUT decided to give ourselves a treat the next week! so bought tickets for BINTAN!!!

it would be a relaxing getaway! YEAHHHHHH!!!!!


home money money home.....
bonus hurry up come......

this reminds me, my annual insurance is gonna be giro-ed out before my pay day next week, darn!!! :(
im gonna be living in deficit very very soon!!!! wail........................

Ok,tat's a digression..


~I SO SO LOVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTINGS!!!!~


and a candy hut!

lovely lights of cos must take more photos, hehe...


darn boliao, haaa..

*weeeeee...............
8)

went Clarke Quay from town but we didnt go anywhere to chill, cos we're both on tight budget, haaa!
only bought Turkish Ice-cream! cos that man was so cheeky! haaa.. see what a big scoop he got for us?!?!!!!

:p


went back home and raided jayen's room, haaa! dug out all his old photos and report books and laughed at all the comments written by his teacher..
what playful lar, talkative.... wahhahahhaaa!
of cos got positive comments but i shant say here! keke....

flipped through his photos, neoprints and even love letters from his ex-gfrens! turned out he had like a dozen ones!!!!! O`gawd! keke... but im definitely no insecure gf cos they are all in the past.


anyway,

to us!!! yipeeee...

hey peeps, thanks for all ur kind words!!
=)
very touched, keke...

things between us are fine already.
the next day, she started talking to me -_- and so, i guess, everything's back to normal? haaa..
thank you for all your concern and hugs!! haaa...

love all!



last but not least,im so damn broke! haaa

it was a bad day.
just bad
:(

it seems like we are having a cold war.




my mom and i.


and i feel real bad...
sometimes i dont know if she really detests me this much.
they say, all moms love their children dearly.
if that is so, then my mine's way of showing that affection is just so wrong.


mom said she was disappointed that i was avoiding her.
it tore at my heart. cos as a matter of fact, i was.
and i was hoping she wouldn't notice.

i was avoiding her cos i didnt want to hear scolding and criticisms each time we talked.
she has everything to say about my everything.
from my appearance to what i'm doing in my life.
if that's out of concern, then please leave out the hurting comments. i have enough to put me down.
somehow, i feel really bad cos deep in my heart, i wished i could have a heart-felt talk with my mom, and not turning to my older auntie colleagues for advice instead.
but i dont understand why, everytime we talked, it would end up in some kind of disagreement.
i admit we are both very stubborn people, and sometimes i know out of respect, i shouldnt have answered back. i have ever since learnt to curb that. i did my best to talk nicely to her every single time, even if i were to swallow that pride of mine, i did my best.


this morning she told me she was going over to my cousin's baby full month. Since my dad's in australia and there's no one to accompany her over, she asked me to.
it was a last minute decision and i already had plans, so i told her i couldnt. she was clearly upset.
i went out for my appointment and i thought alot.
i decided that i would accompany her after all.. cos in my heart, i felt i should really spend more time with her. Maybe the trip over to my cousin's would make things between us better?

i called her and told her i would join her afterward. she said she would call me once everything's confirmed.

2 hours later, she called.
but i didnt hear my phone ring.. dammit cos it was on silent mode.
when i realised 15 minutes later, i called home immediately and found out she left the house.
Alas!
i tried calling her handphone but she couldnt be reached. She switched off her phone, i dunno why.

i went home later in the afternoon and she was at home.
i tried to explain to her.

she was very very angry with me and insisted that i purposely didnt want to pick up her calls cos i didnt want to accompany her. i told her if i didnt want to go, i wouldnt have changed my appointment in the first place.
she refused to listen to me and kept shouting "RUBBISH RUBBISH!!" at me.
i swallowed that anger in me cos i know i have to. i was in the wrong and i kept on apologising to her, explaining that i really didnt mean to.

she slammed her door and just refused to accept my apology.
grandma just sat at the side, signaling me to keep quiet already. since she didnt want to listen, it's no point saying more. cos it would make her even more heated up.


dinner.
my grandma, mom and myself took a cab down to uncle's place for a family dinner.
on the cab, AGAIN, mom started scolding me.
she said i was crazy. she said if i didnt want to go, i should have said it and not purposely reject her calls.
i was like...wth... i already told her i didnt do it on purpose, why doesnt she just accept my apology and explanation?! unreasonable!

i found no point to explain anymore.
whatever i've said, she has NOT heard it.
if she wants to continue assuming, just let her be.

tears just flowed. i felt really bad..
i dont understand why she has to scream and shout at me. and scolds me crazy, scolds me a good-for nothing, and whatever i've said are rubbish and nonsense.
does she hate me this much? why?


somehow, i felt i have had enough.
for years, i've been under her freaking control. i listened and followed her bidding cos i was scared. it was all out of fear.
after 26 years.
im still living in fear.
i feel that i cant live My life properly. now when im old enough and have a mind of my own, she feels like she's losing control over me. she tries means and ways to stop it.
but she doesnt know, it would only make me rebel more. it would make me run away from her.
far far away.
from my family.


i want to quit my job. the stress level is too much for me to bear. yes i love children..but the passion is gone. at least for this moment.
this is the profession SHE wants me to be in.
i have enough.
just let me live my life, will you mom?


i dont know what the future will bring.
i'm stepping out of the boat. out of my own accord.
but in any case, even if i fail... i know i wont blame you.
i only need you to be supportive of whatever i do. sometimes i really hope we could talk things out. i need advice. not criticisms. not insults. not you telling me what to do.

i want to tell u how much i love u.
but it's so so hard

a few updates...

1) PMS

2) my camera is spoilt!!!!!! wail~~~~

3) i've spoken to my principal about leaving the service. she advised me against it and said she would grant me 3 years of study leave.
Should i still stick to my initial decision... maybe i don't need her blessings after all.



*perplexed*

throat is sore and i can feel an impending dry cough coming very soon...
:(

The reason?
think i partied too much over the weekends, HEHE.. and ate alot of heaty food, keke..

Friday
planned for a night of zouking with my galfrens.. but ended up with only me and kaifen. Kiyo couldnt join us last minute cos she had to attend to her mummy who was sick :( hope auntie is well already! esther also couldnt come cos she felt really ill after her exam.. and fang said she was tired after work :(
i was so upset.. cos i thought we could meet up finally, keke.. but never mind :) we can always go again yeah??

anyway, i still went ahead since i've already promised kaifen. Instead of a girls' nite-out, we ended up with more guy frens than girls -_-

me, kaifen and winson

didn't really enjoy it.. perhaps i was tired..
not tired physically..but just tired of clubbing already, haha.. and it's certainly not healthy and it just leaves a very sick feeling in the stomach. Not cos of the alcohol but...never mind. i think i need to stop it altogether.

haaa...
indulged in more healthy activities like meeting up nice friends for a meal or two, hehe...

Saturday
it was siaolang's bday! liling, siaolang and myself met up for a nice dinner followed by drinks and cutting of cake @ balcony! :)

liling and the bday boy, siaolang! he's actually called 'kelvin' lar.. just tat, we are so used to calling him a siao lang.. cos sometimes his screw abit loose.. hhaha


me and liling :D

something i must mention is the good service by the staff @ Balcony!!! they were really friendly and helpful!
they gave us plastic plates and forks for the cake without us even asking.. and offered to help take photos for us!! They even extended their bday wishes for the bday boy! haaaa.. we were so impressed and happy with their service that siaolang offered them each a slice of the birthday cake too! hehe..
esther joined us soon afterwards and all of us had fun catching up!! i misss her soooo muchhhhh!!!!

i like that lee hom photo in siaolang's phone!!!! *swoon*

wahhahaa...
we visited the restrooms before we left and found out that it's unisex!!! haha!
so interesting but so weird also to have the other gender in the same restroom!

they purposely gave that disgusted look, haha

a digression: i love christmas deco!!!


wanted to go catch Doraemon the movie but the timing was alil late.. so we suggested going to Geylang for supper!
FROG LEG PORRIDGE!!!! BEST!!!

i was craving for the 'gong bao' spicy one!!!! hehe..SLURP!!!!!!
we ordered the non-spicy one as well.. both are as YUMMMMMY!!!!

thumbs up! :D
siaolang with his coconut flesh that he's effortlessly scraped out.. it's intact as one whole piece lor! damn skillful, haha

and the best thing, this gentleman offered it to the 2 ladies to savour, hahhaha
thanks!!! ;)


Sunday
some of the sfc peeps gathered for luncheon at ViVo City WhiteDogCafe!
Due to their clear window that stretches across half of the restaurant, the place has a really good seaview and of sentosa.. but that island was like under construction like tat.. with lots of sand and cranes -_- abit of an eye-sore though.

tat's why u wont see any of the seaview in the following photos, haha
the couples first!!! :)
zen and ivan!

darren and kiyo

stella and her 'tian mi mi', HEHEHHEEE

8)

jeffrey and darric!

the girls =)

fang is not inside cos she just refused to take any photos :( so we could only take her soup.. lobster bisque -_-

my tender grilled chicken fillet with mushroom sauce! :D


we decided to go ktv @ chinatown after that.. cos there isn't any at VivoCity..
ViVoCity's MANAGEMENT!!! it's time to have KBox or Partyworld at ur place!! or else there ain't any other entertainment besides shopping and movies!

adjourned to Kster @ Lucky Chinatown :)

fun fun fun!!
poor winston didn't join us cos we ALL thought and ASSUMED he's still stuck in Beijing..OOPS*
sorry sorry! haha.. but we have decided!!! our next gathering very very sooon--> CafeDelMar for a beach party!!! yeahhhhh...sexay!


i left around 7 to go meet jayen at marina sqaure after that for dinner and a movie :)
Beowulf is nice! go watch it.. keke... but it's actually a computer graphics and animation kinda show.. something like Final Fantasy =)

saw a poster.. some upcoming movie starring jay chou..
NAH!! this is specially for u, cousin kaya! ahhaha..


'raining' lights at Marina Square :) we like!!



i went over to his place early in the morning and bought him breakfast :)
hehe...
He suddenly popped the question..



not THE question larrrr -_-
but about my hair...

he asked, "dear, u are very troubled by ur hair ar?"
i was abit taken aback cos i was like, "huh?? how come u know??"
i didnt mention anything about it to him and he said cos he knew exactly what i was thinking, haha..
'telepathy' he said it was -_- hahaha.. but it's very true lar.
it's somehow very magical it's hard to explain..
but i always find it very, very amazing, how we can feel each other’s heartbeat.. feel each other’s feelings exactly. when he's down, my heart mourns together with him. when i feel upset, his heart is troubled too without me even saying.


anyway, yah larrr.... something's wrong with my hair, it just doesnt look right lor.. i tried trimming it on friday night but i think i made it worse cos my face looked ultra fat. i know it's already fat lar.. but the length of my fringe and everything just emphasized it further! haaa..

anyway, there's nothing (non-surgically) i could do to remove my babyfats, so i could only use the hair to frame my face.
and ah dear actually suggested cutting my hair for me!
i was abit skeptical at first, haaa.. and abit apprehensive as well cos i know snipping my hair away gonna be irreversible one..
but jayen told me to trust him and so i did.. i waited for him to go get his cutting scissors..


look at what he brought in afterward.
.
.
.
.

A KITCHEN SCISSORS ???!?!!?!!
he replied sheepishly that he couldnt find any other pair of scissors...


i started to panic.
dont pray pray can???..

i burst into laughter when he took the puny one instead! it looked so damn small in between his fingers! i kept on giggling and giggling he had to ask me to stop laughing before he could continue..

tat, btw, is a dustbin i'm holding under my nose -_-
he managed to trim the fringe and the sides...


Tah~Dahhh..

as for the back of my head, he said he will continue when he finds a right pair of scissors, hahaa...
amidst the giggling and all, more importantly i felt the warmth in my heart, hehe...
it's really a nice feeling for someone to be cutting ur hair... (not referring to ur neighbourhood barber lar...) but someone u love..
i think it's an ultra loving act! muahahahaha..

he was so proud of the end result that he even asked his elder sister to come and take a look. she was just sooo horrified that to hear that he was cutting my hair! haha
she said, "he ask u to trust him and u just trusted him ar?!!?"
keke
but it was nicely cut i think... and i like it!!

KUDOS for ah dear!!!!!

8) my love*

my blog's counter statistics just reached a hundred thousand!! wahahhahhaaa....

random updates...

today is officially the last day with my primary 2 form class. Having them for 2 years wasn't exactly easy... had my fair share of ups and downs, and there're even times when the children really drive me nuts!

a PPT slide dedicated to my kids on children's day :)

(*tat's rachel by the way, if u still remember her.. one of my really difficult children in the class)

The parting was especially emotional for me, because there's a possibility of not seeing them anymore next year. i know im gonna miss them. Tat's the thing with children. No matter how miserable they may make your life at times, at the end of the day when you think about them, it still makes u smile =)

i took lots of photos these last 2 days, hehe



this is only half of my class, heee.. the other half still enjoying themselves at the sch fun-fair, keke..

went to my p5 class.. one kid took my camera and without my knowledge, snapped some photos of his frens and me -_-

the p6 children graduating soon went class by class to get fren's and teacher's autographs signed on their uniforms, haaa..

anyway, i got some nice letters from the parents.
One parent of a very difficult child, who gave me 'hell' almost everyday, wrote in a nice card that she really appreciated my love and concern showered over her son. it was really not easy teaching and maintaining discipline in such disruptive children. All these words, though simple, somehow touched my heart so much that i was trying to keep my tears back while reading them. *sniff*
there was another letter from another child's parents whom i least expect to write me anything...


i think even if i were to quit at this very moment, i will have no regrets... cos at least my efforts have not gone for naught.

me and my colleagues, sharon and darlin shikin! we came in together almost 4 years ago!!!

=) i love them!


knocked off early today and went to the post office to collect my parcel!!! wahhaahhaha..
i bought this online!! hehe..
who can resist pretty lingeries??
not me! wahahaaa..


and the quality is rather good! fits nicely too, haaaa
do check out her online store here !!

another stuff i must blog about is this!!
thx to jayen's sis for recommending it! :)

those who are plagued with whiteheads and clogged pores, THIS IS A GOD-SENT AND IM NOT EXAGGERATING.


Last but not least,
it's FRYDAY and im so damn happy cos my galfrens all suddenly wan to go zouk together!!!! YEAHHHHH!!!
gonna enjoy ourselves tonite!!
:D