first time experienced a total blackout for almost 2 hours last nite.. it was quite fun actually, haha..went 'patrolling' around the estate with my bro in our home clothes (without having to worry.. cos it was soooo dark! haha).. went down to sit by the poolside, enjoying the breeze.. the only drawback was the overcast sky..or else would be able to behold the beauty of stars twinkling in their thousands.. :D
adapting to the overwhelming responsibilities in school.. given pri 3,4,5 and 6 classes! wow...how am i going to remember all my children's names?! gonna put in extra effort liao..hopefully everything goes on fine.. heard that some new teachers broke their bonds and quitted the teaching profession becos they could not take the stress being a full-fledged teacher... scary hor? but i know i can depend on God.. will perservere becos this is my calling..."Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" Proverbs 22:6

turning green in the face on my first day of work.. reported to school @ 655am in the morning.. wow, getting abit not used to waking up so early in the morning... duties briefed were overloading my mind.. *welcome to the REAL teaching world ppm!* it was scary, very... i went home feeling very sick, did not know if it was the weather or the stress.. guess it was the stress... my mind was so unsettled every minute, every second.. today was my first day, was already wondering if i could 'survive' the whole 'ordeal' in the upcoming months, years.. somehow i feel really helpless.. oh God.. i pray for strength, for peace... what i really need now is divine help

was invited to ex-colleague, evelyn's 21st bday party @ PunggolPark yesterday.. wow..thinking back...mine was like 1 and 1/2 years ago... keke..brought back much memories :D back then,i was still an ah-toot(nerd)...althou now still is one..haha... photos taken last nite are posted below...

dear fiddling with my digi again...

candid shots.........................................................& finally giving him a sulken face

Evelyn's 21st Bday party @Punggol Park

shots with eve..........................and ah dear

Morning!! slept like a pig last nite. was so tired after being out the whole day...*yawn* went KTV (again?!) @cuppage with dear.. jus the 2 of us, cos he's so 'gian' to sing...but me... first time getting sick of ktv, haha... had gone for 3 sessions these 2 weeks.. but i still went ahead.. guess i enjoyed it the most :D
in the evening, we met up with dear's bro and fren for Gen-Y concert @ the Expo.. got free VIP complimentary tickets from his fren who is working with UNUSUAL productions.. Artistes who went include: 范逸臣,江美琪,戴佩妮,阿暴与brandy,邱泽,仔仔and 言承旭... i still like 范逸臣..think he's so shuai, haha.. only managed to take a few snapshots of 邱泽.. afterwhich my digi's batt fell flat..arghhhh..*curse* ;p


shots of 邱泽!! hehehe

when the ever famous F4's 言承旭 came out, thousands of hysterically screaming fans rushed forward, armed with their multi-zoom Canons and Nikons...our previously CLEAR view was blocked by girls, aunties, ah-mahs(!?) standing on their seats waving neonsticks.. all in a state of frenzy.... cant even see a teeny weeny bit of jerry, so i slept.. dear was so shocked when he found me sleeping.. he said "all the other girls are screaming their lungs out and here u are, sleeppping?!" anyway we left the concert early.. dear's conclusion :"nowadays.. TALENT is NO fight for FACE"..

*love*~~photo stickers~~
got them 1st thing in e morning.. good boy

long long day.. awaken from dreamland to go KBox with bro and cousin.. wow, we got the K-lunch package.. with drinks, saba shioyaki sets *slurp* and 4 hours of croaking for just 10 bucks per person.. cousin and i went shopping @ heeren and far east after ktv session.. got the 6 inch Elle wallet i had been losing sleep over, haha.. love@first sight wor.. keke.. dear forgot to return me the card-reader i secretly 'kapok' from dad to transfer the photos from the digicam to his pc.. in the end got a dressing-down from my mum.. dear's always like tat. a classic example of a procrastinator, he hasnt scanned the photo stickers which i'd repeatedly asked him to.. and now he's off for 'male-bonding' at the pubs.. grrr.. but he did promise to send them once he gets home tonite.. I've just sent him an sms "if i dun see the photos first thing in the morning tomolo, u will be dead meat!! yea. enjoy ur nite"
well, see if he does.. keeping my fingers crossed, yet at the same time, sharpening my parang.. muahahha...

met sista ade-lian for dinner. had sushi @ feista. wow, love their cheesecake.. had two slices on top of their usual sashimi and stuff.. not seen adelene for more than a yr, she's still so cute and bubbly, haha... but she cant help laughing at my big hair D; grrrr... keke.. if not for the good food i may have considered biting her!!

heehaha..so happy today.. went national skin centre with dear. he went to get his medicine for his back. as for me, the doc advised on another injection to further reduce my bcg scar..but i refused cos after taking so many jabs (ouch, they did hurt like nobody's business!!) over the last 1 & a 1/2yrs, still no noticeable improvement.. was thinking of jus leaving it alone, anyway i've already overcome the irrational fear of wearing sleeveless tops.. all thanks to dear for his unceasing encouragement & support over these years. the confidence i now have i owe it largely to him..keke.. okie, enough of mushy stuff.. dear fell asleep while waiting for his queue number (all thks to euro'04, hahah) and he had a nightmare (in so short a time!?) tat sent him jerking outta his seat.. when he opened his eyes, so many pairs of eyes were on him.. he turned red.. hahahha... i couldnt stop laughing at him..
anyway we took photo stickers!!!! hahahha... dear hate to take photos, so i got to plead him and nag incessantly into his ears..haha.. also 'por' him abit with comments like "aey, i really like the way u do up ur hair today" and "ee? isnt this my fave shirt u're wearing?" haha.. guys are guys..must stroke their EGOs then :D keke.. hmm, today was so enjoyable. perhaps i was in an exceptionally good mood.. we cracked jokes all the way on the mrt train back home, most are lame..but tats our forte, hee.. got a super lame one.. i asked him "现在几点?" and he said "黑黑一点点" so i countered back with a "白白一大点" he went on saying "越看越多点" and i continued, "原来是污点!" in the end he uttered.."你这个十三点!!" muahahha sicko ; j ...

sat..have not been visiting AhMa @ killiney rd for the past few months already.. *guilty* =p so i went over in the afternoon.. and wah..they made such a big hoo-haa over my hair.. haha... my 4 aunties loved my new hairstyle.. well, tats good and bad news for me.. cos my curls are so popular with the older folks.. erm, tat makes me uh-hmm 'auntie' too... sad ahhhh D; went OG with mum+dad in the evening..oh no..another auntie phenomenon (OG!? hhaa..) dad bought the feet reflexology massager from OTO.. for himself as a father's day gift.. wahaha... well, erm.. at least i carried it all the way home for him.. huh? not enough ah? ..okok, will treat him to a father's day dinner tomolo then... keke.. yawn..tired liaoo, gonna zzz soon.. tomolo still got church, having ushering duty.. hopefully can meet dear after tat.. aiyoo my grandma nagging again, cos my bro have been returning home late these days.. almos everyday 'pah-tor'... so xingfu, haha..

feeling super tired now.. gonna doze off soon.. went KBox @ Suntec with esther, juliet and valerine, but went off earlier to go dear's place.. the library book i loaned had to be returned today cos date due liaoo.. by hook / by crook have to find a library.. so went to the one @ Geylang east.. supposedly very near dear's place..BUT i got lost! can u imagine it? despite having visited the library so many times since young, i jus simply couldnt find my way back to dear's block.. in the end have to ask a few malay aunties for directions, haha.. but they were so nice and friendly, heee..
dear gave me alot of DVDs.. mostly anime, haha...cos i love them! and a wooden hp strap with words "相爱符" craved onto it.. dunno wat the '符' means, but as long as i know wat '相爱' means can liao, wahaha.. 8) so sweet..rewarded him with a back,shoulder + face massage, keke
had duck rice for dinner and dear ate duck porridge, cos he's still on medication for his flu and sore throat.. afterwhich we watched 'Dawn of the Dead' with auntie.. wah piang..a crappy show indeed..with an absurd plot..

went for buffet lunch with family @ sakura toapayoh.. next to KBox, wahaha..so tempted to go in and sing, but.. with grandma and ah pa? haha.. anyway was feeling so uncomfortable.. didnt enjoy the food as well.. went home and slept like a log till 7pm..
think i caught the flu virus from dear last nite, met him like 1/2 hour only and now im down with flu :( the bug is real efficient lor.. even thou my body felt so weak, but sweetness resides in my heart, haha...contended to jus think i can share the bug with dear keke...silly hor?

photos taken after visiting the salon, hehehe...

went with esther this morning to the hair salon!! muahahhaha... esther went to rebond her hair..now silky and nice, haha.. and i went to do ceramic perm, hee thot i looked like a poodle..hmmm... anyway post our pics up tomolo, hehe.. went to the airport just now to fetch ah dear.. reached the airport @ 9pm and he came out only @ 1040pm! luckily i brought along my CLEO to pass time.. i was so excited i couldnt stop pacing up and down at the arrival hall.. he finally came out and he put his arms around me, gave a peck on my forehead and told me he missed me wahahhaa....i was soooo happy, hehehhee... wah, and his voice became sexy liaoo, cos sore throat. ate too much 'hoe-liaoo' over there..haha, he told me the stuff there are so cheap tat they cant resist buying loads of them.. he and his frens 'raided' the DVDs shop and cleared almos half of their stocks! cos each DVD costs only around S$1! gotta go off now cos there's an irritating mosquito irking me to death!! update tomolo! =D

oh dear..i cant sleep

excited about tomolo.. going to perm my hair hehe.. keeping my fingers crossed tat all will go well.. hmm, met my agent for dinner jus now. we had chicken rice balls.. to commemorate Euro2004, heh.. and he let me drive his car for a short stretch of road, luckily i got back to the passenger seat fast before we both vomit out our dinner... cos i was jerking the car non-stop!! (bumper-car?) haiz.. think i wasted all my money + effort getting a license afterall, hahaha.. gonna sleep soon, or else tomolo panda eyes meet ah dear liao, hehee..

someting light... bought a pair of slippers with kitten heels @ X:odus. wahaha... have been aiming them since.. :) and their carrier is so nice!!!!! sad..holidays gone like tat..going back sch almost everyday for Batik~painting.. hee, luckily its fun, or else i'ld be dragging my feet to work every morning... when will the holidays ever come......????

yo..guess mood's back on track.. after turning to lots of Aunt + Uncle Agonies for advice and 'free counselling sessions'. heee.. am bit guilty for thinking too much..on the bad side. feeling very silly cos im behaving like a small kid again, having all sorts of ridiculous imaginations in my head tat dear doesnt care anymore.. i have conveniently disregarded the mutual promise we held on before.. last nite, someone told me.. 'Love encompasses lots and lots of forbearance.. its not having to change a person, but to be able to accept his/her bad points..not for him/her sake, but for ur own good.' wow..took me a while to digest..haha but guess all was worth it.. cant say im experienced in relationships, but at least im willing to learn.. Time and Distance doesnt kill love. They are only obstacles tat true love can surmount.
nothing more to say except... im looking forward to meet dear!! counting down liaoo..2 more days! haha..

yeahh..had quite a fruitful day.. had a great dinner with mum dad and bro..and we went SHOPPING!! bought so much stuff! today's pay day for me, mum & dad mah, haha... yesterday went facial. my fave beautician kat was back! hehe.. anyway was glad the redness subsided overnite so i can be out today, wahaha.. wanted to do someting to my hair..perhaps get a ceramic perm, with big curls!! haha, hopefully the effect is one of sexiness, not auntieness! hmm, anyway esther wanted to rebond her hair, so we went PAPILIO @ veerasamy rd to chk it out.. heard from esther that their service is superb and had lots of artistes going there for their hair treatments. wow..sounds impressive, so i gave her the benefit of the doubt, went and WOW, it WAS impressive! i mean the salon, haha...din expect it to be so professional looking and stylish! heh... cos it's situated at some weird and seemingly deserted HDB building @ Little India.. we booked an appt on the 16th June, next wed 10am.. the day dear is coming back to singapore..hopefully the perming turns out well, or else dear will get a shock, haha.. hmmmm.. esther asked wat had happened between me and kel. she sensed tat im upset.. well, isst? i dun sense anything myself.. or am i running away from it? but i know my feelings for dear seems to be fast fading away....away...away.. im scared..seriously. i dun know how to face him, i dun know wat to say when i see him...

hadnt been posting for the past few weeks.. reason being im just way too busy back in school. by the way, I am a FULL-FLEDGED teacher already!! congrats congrats me will ya? haha.. 29th May was my first day..hmmm, cant spell out the acroymn or else pple will find out wat sch it is, keke...and im gone-case. haha.. today was supposedly the last day to be back in school during this June holidays, so the staff had something like a 'party' to free all our minds after 1 and a 1/2 weeks of solid meetings and stuff like tat.. we played games and had fun.. but poor me, i fell and got my knees all blue-black.. ohh dear..cannot wear my mini-skirts for the weekends with both my knees swollen and bruised. sighh... anyway dear's not in singapore, so i wont be able to meet him during the weekends too. He went Shanghai with 5 of his sec-sch mates. someone commented tat shanghai girls are so fashionable nowadays.. pretty and chic, haha.. well, maybe he'll stray, haha... im back here in singapore and i HAD.. opps!
yesterday i sent esther this msg "i also had a bf.. but but its such a special feeling i never felt when i was together with my boy. i remembered the smell of his car, his steadily gaze which has not failed to mesmerise me whenever our eyes met..its such a forlorn feeling i cant fully describe..."
esther was bewildered.. she immediately called and asked if the msg was meant for her..i told her "yes, it was intentional. and i want you to read it." she still was puzzled so i laughed it off by telling her, "well, how do u find this poem i've wrote? pretty impressive huh?" she giggled and believed i was joking..anyway my phone was soon low batt and i had to hang up...
my dear did not call..did not msg.. does he really care? will he remember to miss me? ..doubts and uncertainties clouded my mind.. dear..where are u....