posts
Friday, June 27, 2008 4:03 pm
perculiar dreams had always been a commonplace in my sleep since I was a child. they were not exceptionally freaky or happy dreams but very emotional. so much so that I often waking up feeling lost; sometimes, a dark cloud would loom over me all day.
I was awoken at 3 A.M. from an extremely bad dream that my boyfriend had decided to swap bodies with another guy, who appeared vaguely familiar but I dont know who is he. he had a rugged look (which I like!) but more pimples than my bf (hence I prefer my bf HAHAHA).
then I fell back to sleep again, the dream continued...
the "soul transfer" was done and my bf with-a-new-look turned up at my place. it all felt pretty odd because the guy I'm looking at isnt the one that I fell in love with! then he kissed me... EEWWW. terrible kisser? cant even do a peck-on-the-lips!? anw, he was awkwardly quiet and then before I know it, he was about to leave cos he wanted a lift from my cousin! HA. my bf would never do that before telling me that he's gonna go? actually, no one would ever do that when he's over at someone else's place! haa, odd... and how would you have felt if you were in my shoes?
after he had gone, I messaged Cassilda and asked her to pray over me... it was such a surreal experience that I can still imagine the confusion that I had in the dream!
so I got up at 7.30 A.M. and went to wash my face then a thought popped in my mind. last night's amplify session was about loving God with our MINDS which I find difficult because life had taught me to doubt. in this dream, my bf's soul loved me but there was a part of the dream that occured to me that his mind belonged to the new person! AH HA! so this is what it means to be in God's shoes.
the pain and helplessness of watching the love of His life change and distant... and this is what it's like to love God in the bgr way - an intimate relationship that older facils have spoken about. He's more than a best friend and a father that I've always imagined Him to be...
He's the more important love of my life! (:
thank You, Jesus... I feel so much better now.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 6:20 am
4 more days to BT3!
frankly, I'm really tired from the last 3.5 weeks of studying yet I'm still not prepared.
yesterday was wasted on my emotions. sigh. I'm glad it's over now and everything is alright. (:
I love you, Chipmunk...
and I'll try to accept your new friends. T&C apply.
time for bed!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008 8:04 am
GET YOUR OWN BF!*bitchy mood*
dang dangdang dang DANG! (spencer)
"heart, you're never hot" - Owen'cause scandalous mistresses are hotter than kitchen wives.
it's shocking to hear what people aspire to be these days. why wait til you're older? you could take some time to learn how to be discreet.
MAYBE I'll regret this later. but 'til then, this goes out to mistress-wannabes.
Monday, June 16, 2008 11:30 pm
I was toilet doing my (shitty) business and I got really bored so I started casting a shadows of a worm on the floor with my index finger and made a "rock on" sign, as though I was at a concert. :D
*I know Goos would laugh at this... then follow suit. right? winks.*it was then that I realised that I haven't changed much since I was a kid - entertaining myself, pretending to me somewhere else or someone else. and it's comforting to know that I still have my roots after all these years of getting lost in heart-wrenching emotional maze.
now, 6months to the end of my teens, I'm able to say that I've survived the age of metamorphosis and in contrast to popular belief, I'm not actually turning into a moth. (wait, do moths undergo metamosphosis?) whatever it is, the moths in my world do.
while schoppenhaur to conrad to spencer believed that human nature is inherently dark, I believe that we're all inherently innocent. that is why your classmates are so immature
that they do not turn up in school.
I'll be shot for that someday. :x
