last night was awesome! I joined andrew's buddies for buffet@curry favour and then he sent me home! sweet or what? haha. but before that, he picked up a piece of fried fish and thought it was bitten into a heart shape (though, really vague) and showed it to me! *beams* I LOVE YOU TOO! haha...
today, was OUR DAY. :D he got me an organiser which I cant wait to start using it in 2009 while I drew him a card and bought him macaroons... (((: cos he's such a sweet tooth! HEEE. we watched "Watchmen", went to mosaic and had supper at gluttons' bay. haha. all's been going too well lately... since the retreat. I truly thank God for everything that is happening and hope that He doesnt take it away. (((:
it's been awhile since I've danced to a happy song and learned the lyrics by hard.
it is an ironic occurance that the person who had been the crux of insecurities and hatred now feels exactly the madness I do. yet somehow, because of that, I am no longer enraged but on the contrary, my heart goes out to her.
on my way back, my heart was screaming to tell her that she is not alone.
we all mess up. it's hard to admit that I feel so much abhorrence for someone who doesnt even know that she has done me wrong. where did my magnanimity go? do I love him so much that I want him all for myself? NO.
it's all me. sometimes I feel like I'm not capable to love sincerely because I cant share. yet, a part of me knows that I deserve better.
turning the BIG TWO has made me realise many things, that as a teen I refused to understand. my ignorance had probably hurt someone else that I did not know at that point in time. and for the last 1.5 years, a few people's ignorance has caused me so much pain and regret. I dont believe in karma but it is a result of sin.
it is hard to put ourselves in someone else's shoes... especially in the one who has hurt us unknowingly. anguish and hurt can be so overhwhelming that we forget who we are. I did - if only you had seen me in that state.
but tonight, hearing that she is going through what she unwittingly put me through has made me realise that we are human and we inevitably do make mistakes.
I've never been loved the way I am now and it's still hard to trust that love remains. sometimes, I just need an assurance that all isnt lost till I lose myself. I have lost myself in love and now I have to find myself again.
no one who hasnt experienced this can tell us to stop until the storm in us blows over.
Sunday, March 08, 2009 6:10 am
it's alrdy sunday so I had better express my gratitude before monday arrives.
THANK YOU DADDY GOD! I'm happy with my results. they are not outstanding but I'm thankful because when I saw it, I heard a voice in my heart saying, "you have a future!" :D:D:D
isnt it awesome to know that God does not forsake us for anything?
OH AND SPECIAL MENTION: andrew did sooo well! I'm really happy for him. further more, he's gonna POP this wednesday! :D:D:D again, thanks be to The Father who has blessed him all through bmt. just 2 months ago, I was worrying my ass off over his well-being in army and now, I think he's doing great. my bf is happier now and that makes me happy too. ((:
Thursday, March 05, 2009 8:10 am
Father God, what do You want me to do in life?
my results will be released in 14hrs. what can I do in life?
sometimes I wish I were Aggie.
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Date of Birth:3 January 1989
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Religion: Roman Catholic
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Hobbies: singing, shopping, reading (when I'm not too lazy), watching tv
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Favourites
1) Colour: Purple
2) Band: Five for Fighting
3) Album: Damien Rice
4) Song: Blower's Daughter
5) Musical: Phantom of the Opera
6) Movie: Crazy/Beautiful
7) Actor: Keanu Reaves
8) Actress: Michelle Pfeipher
9) Book: The Catholic Bible
10) Author: the Apostles?
11) Artist:
12) Clothers Store: TOPSHOP(:
13) Food: chicken rice, hokkien mee, satay, prata, pizza, herbal chicken (by mummy), PINEAPPLE TARTS (by auntie agnes), ALMOND COOKIES (by Godma)
14) Comfort food: Popeye's
15) Drink: Coke or water
16) Car:
17) Holiday Destination: Spain
18) Sport: swimming and running
19) Animal: birds
20) TV Show: Who's Line Is It Anyway?
