Thursday, November 30, 2006

this week is mugging week.
im mugging so much,
i think i would respond if you call me 'mugger'.
like if you say "hey mugger, can i borrow a pen?"
i would go "oh yeah, sure."
thats how much of a muggertoad i am.

i cant wait for the exams to be over.
for those who are done with your exams,
please dont gloat.
im too weak for such agitation.

---

there are unresolved matters in my heart,
its bothering me.
i dont know what's right and wrong.
God, help me!
onegaiiiiiii.

---

got new specs together with lingy.
yes, my sister needs spectacles.
after years of laughing at my short-sightedness,
she finally got it too.
wahahaha.
i got black frames, she got white =)

---

im getting a new phone~!
a walkman phone, hopefully,
since i need an mp3 player.
but the thing is,
sony ericsson produces lousy phone cameras.
sob.

---

okay,
back to mugging.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

congrats to justin and clara =)
t'was a wonderful wedding.
our song performance made clara cry.
i dont think its 'cos we sang exceptionally well.
i think she's really gg to miss our church after moving to justin's.
we're gg to miss her too =(

our voices were ultra shaky during the song presentation.
we were told to look at clara when we sing,
cos afterall,
we were singing for her.
so when she started to cry,
the three of us are torn between the urge to cry,
and singing.
if we start crying onstage,
there goes the song.
muahaha.
i could hear edna beside me trying very hard to keep her voice steady.
hoho.
scarryyy.
but meaningful =)
was worth seeing that happy smile on clara's tearful face =)

we did cry after we went back to our seats.
all trying to wipe the tears off without ruining the makeup.

naturally,
wedding days are photo days.
loads more are taken by yuan jing's cam,
but i only have those taken by my phone for now =)


the efforts of the decor team =)
aint that styrafoam heart on the wall oh-so-lovely?!
wooot.
nice.


the band and the decor pple,
practising hard for the wedding on friday =)

the day of the wedding~!
singers, instrumentalists, ushers, all in white and black =)
wini's about to lead song in front of that 200+ pple,
thus that look of hers.
hehs.


us and the designer of our brooches =)
the heels that almost killed our feet =(


wheeee.
start of the wedding =)
flowergirls, bridesmaid, and the bride herself~!
i cldnt stop telling joseph "she's so pretty!!"


tadah~
here she is =)
so pretty!


found this bouquet of lilies lying ard after the wedding.
you know i love lilies.
lovely flowers.
i dont care how they smell.
hurs.
then we goofed ard in church to kill time.
took a million photos,
as you can see.


the kiddies~!
pearlyn and theodore =)


edna and the guitar,
mr dz looking extremely sissy with the bunch of flowers =S

-the end!-
we were all so tired after everything.
phew.

---

time to get studying.
shall start tml.
gogogogogogo!

Friday, November 24, 2006

john,
im playing your new song on loop.
which means,
i like it.
(better thank me for it. wahaha.)

---

im losing touch with music.
i still sing in church,
but outside of church,
i dont really sing anymore.
i dont even listen to music anymore.
ever since my md decided to turn its back on me,
i havent been listening to anything.
im adapting very well to living without music.
i dont even miss it.
but i think the lack of it has an adverse effect in me.
i dont know what it is; cant put my finger on it.

i think i need a new portable player.

---

im seeing some major flaws in me as a person.
getting self defensive, very protective of myself.
tend to be very wary of others,
very guarded against others.
i dont like me being this way.

may the Lord change me.
i need to learn to love others and love myself.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

okays, the last of the tell you 8 things thingy.
grrr.

okay, scratch that.
im not in the right mood to write stuff like that.
muahaha.
next time la ah =)

---

have been shopping pretty often.
i lurveee to shop.
shopping makes me very happy.
but of course, we all know happiness is only temporal.
joy is everlasting.
and we can only find joy in the Lord Jesus =)
wheeeee.

i need new specs.
my old ones are close to breaking apart.
i dont think they can withstand both mission trip AND korea.
thus,
new specs~!
wheeee.
tell me where i can get pretty frames!! =)
and cheap ones, if you dont mind.
im not exactly rich right now.
muahah.

visited the peta webby,
and found a couple of really cute tees.
peta is this worldwide anti animal cruelty organization, in case you dont know.
all the stuff that they sell advocates freedom for animals.
and all the money they earn goes to help all these poor dears =)
so go on to their website,
and see if there's anything you'd like to buy.
tell me, and i'll order them tog with my orders.
and we can share the shipping fee.
muahaha.
cheaper that way =)

---

i just realized
i'll be having a white christmas this year.
they say korea's always breathtakingly beautiful during christmas.
cant wait to see for myself =)
even the freezing temperature cant get me down.
i love christmas.
favourite time of the year =)
the festival of love and joy~
love it~!

---

brother's back from france.
and he brought back loads of chocolate in pretty packaging.
authentic Belgium chocolate!!
YUM.
beg me and i MAY share them with you.
=)
muahahahaahaa.

---

time to get studying.
exams around the corner.
grr.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

okays, im regretting the "tell you all eight things if you tag" post.
its brain wrecking!!!
but oh well, since i promised...
*rolls up my sleeves*
i shall try my best then =)

To my darling twinie,
1. i love + miss you like crazy~! serious =)
2. not laugh at all of shiqi's jokes for a week.
3. brown =) because you bought me a brown top for my 19th bday and you loved it =)
4. i like your voice. fairy dusts remember? wahaha. and the way you burst out laughing =)
5. we had a long long talk in the sch canteen after valerie burst out crying and ran off. i started to love you then =)
6. a hamster. the way you blow up your cheeks for the camera =)
7. did you hate me in j1 when things werent gg very well for us? (just curious okay! im not gg to get angry or anything! wahaha.)

To estha&RAHEL!!!
1. wahahahahahahahaha. 2nd and 3rd!!! i dont care how lame sh and sq thinks you are, you will always be funny to me. (thats a compliment, so you better thank me.)
2. refuse to buy dinner for your brothers the next time they ask you to.
3. pink. very girly pink. =)
4. i like how you can withstand peer pressure and just be yourself. how you can be nice to everybody, even those that everyone else couldnt stand. you must be the kindest friend that i have =)
5. the p6 you and your giant friend walking down south view pri.'s corridor. with your bombastic hair. YES i still remember!!! that hair!! wahahahahahahaa.
6. a baby elephant. the gentlest and kindest creature i can think of =)
7. do you need to try very hard to stop yourself from gossiping?!

To qiqi,
1. thanx for your concern girl~! =)
2. be your talkative self in front of everyone, not just those who are close to you, for a day =)
3. baby blue. i dont know why, but yea. baby blue! =)
4. i like your enthusiasm =) show it more often!!
5. you jumped over, grabbed my arm and say "i tell you a secret!!!"
6. an otter. small jumpy little thing =)
7. why cant you stop telling me the same secret over and over again?!?!?! muahaha.

To tingy dearie~!
1. i love you (abit) too!!!!!
2. travel without ian's car for 3 days. (i know this will kill you.)
3. orange~! you and your orange fettish. grr.
4. i like how you choose to trust people around you no matter how many times this trust is betrayed. and your sincerity towards everybody =)
5. we went to 'gai gai' together, that yfc event that xiaoling brought us to. we were on the train, and you were telling us what rebonding is all abt. wahaha.
6. a puppy. fun-loving, active and loyal =)
7. are you truly not worried at all about your studies?!

To my cheeky little mentee~!
1. mentee!! stop calling me an old wrinkled hag!
2. stop saying im old and wrinkled. wahaha.
3. khaki beige. dont ask me why, i dunno!
4. i like your wit! and how you treat me and wini with respect =)
5. you coming up to ask me when's our first lesson. i was so happy and very encouraged by the fact that you actually took the initiative to ask! =)
6. a baby bear. wild yet quiet and gentle at times =)
7. are all the bcl lessons helping you in your walk with God, or do you think its a waste of your time? *sob*

To shaoning =)
1. thank you for all the encouragements that you have given me~! *hugs* you've been a great help.
2. quit singing for a week. not even humming!! muahah.
3. grey. a very soft, melancholic colour. like the gentle, deep-thinking you =)
4. i like your tactfulness, your sensitivity to pple around you, your willingness to help and offer encouragements =)
5. you singing with jj (whom you call wayne) onstage on that christmas event few years back. you were wearing red i remember. wahaha.
6. an owl. the symbol of cleverness =)
7. do you seriously love to study, or do you do it for responsibility's sake? wahaha.

oh finally.
FINALLY!!!
the end~!!
wheeeeeee~!

i need to sleep.
but geline's beside me rattling on and on.
and tingy's beside geline replying all that rattling.
and im very tempted to join in.
muahaha.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

now, lets try this...
if you tag "tag!" on my tagboard,

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate you with.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first memory about you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. You must post this on yours. if you want to, that is =)

just for this stupid post,
im putting up my tagboard again.
wahaha.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

just read an old friend's blog,
one whom i used to be very familiar with.
everytime i reminisce,
she'll be there in my mind,
smiling at me.

after all these time,
we've all grew.
growing isnt easy really.
hurdles everywhere that needs an immense amount of courage to jump over.
God carried me over my last hurdle,
the highest one that i've seen.
im blessed that He is here with me.
but she doesnt know Him.
my old friend.
she doesn't know God,
she is depending all on herself.
she must be having a hard time.

in her blog, she wrote:
"ya, i live and pass everyday that came
passes each day

but
yet at the end of the day
it all seems blur, misty, not registered.

i cldn't much recall the day,
be it the feelings i had...
the people i met..
the things i said...

it's not that something had happened that made me upset
nuthin to be exact
or rather i also dunnoe
perhaps...
it's all those little stuff that adds up

i had alot of things and feelings that i so much wanted to blog
but, somehow or rather it gt choked somewhere
somewhere...

seem that my soul dumped me
feeling of uncertainty and lost.
so pressed.

Hao bu kai xin.
Don't wish to tok to anyone.
Moody.
But i'm ok.

Just want to be alone..."

she sounded just like me in my previous posts doesnt she?
i felt the exact same way then.
it was such a hard time for me.
it must be the same for her.

she needs God.
i shall pray for her.
thats all that i can do now.

what's all this beta blogger thingy about?
i dont like changes (@*#&@*&$
wahaha.
google must be filthy rich to buy over youtube AND blogger.
=S
i dont like filthy rich people too.
must be a bunch of snobs.
hmph.

---

im bored.
didnt go to sch today.
have been coughing real hard since yesterday night.
i tasted blood in my throat a few times =S
horrible metallic taste.
ewwww.

sighs.
just when i thought i was recovering,
i started coughing.
but i have to thank God that i was well enough to do my presentation yesterday.
i didnt have to forfeit my 10% afterall =)
wheeeeeeeeee.

---

took some really pretty photos of jeanette darling =)
we bought her a princessy white dress;
she looks like such an angel in it.

there, see for yourself =)
such a pretty little angel~

---

*cough cough cough cough...*
ahhhhhh.
tell me what's the best cough remedy you know pls.
i cant take the coughing any longer.
*COUGH COUGH*
argh.

Monday, November 13, 2006

i love my mummy.
she is such a loving, kind and understanding mummy.
i love my dad too of course,
but at times he can get really dense.
there was this time,
when he said something that really hurt me,
and i was struggling not to cry,
at least not in front of him,
because i know he didnt mean to say stuff like that.
then he saw my watery red eyes and v densely asked,
"why are your eyes so red?"
and he blamed the haze for it.
if i wasnt so upset,
i wld have laughed.
wahaha.
my dad is so cluelessly cute.

---

elphia said something very wonderful today.
she said if we want to be filled with love and passion,
we need to first ask God to empty us of all the bitterness and hate within us.
then will we have room for Him to fill us with love,
so that we can love Him, love others, and love ourselves.

i like this explanation.
its not easy to explain a thing so complex in a way that is so elegantly simple.

i like simplicity =)

---

there was a lot of bitterness in me.
but i have prayed for the Lord to remove all these bad stuff out of me.
and He did =)

when i kept all the bad stuff inside of me,
i couldnt feel God's presence.
i felt very alone and very unloved.
but now,
i know very clearly that He is with me =)
and its such a refreshing, wonderful change.
it is a great comfort to know that God is faithful,
and you can always depend on Him,
come what may.

---

im recovering very well indeed~
thank you all for praying for me =)

Friday, November 10, 2006

the other day,
kaiqiu came for a sleepover.
she, lingy and my mum watched some horror film together.
and at this part which they claimed was very very scary,
they all screamed very loudly, then burst into laughter.
i was upstairs when i heard all that noise,
so i didnt see the image of them screaming together,
but it must've been such a cute scene.
my mummy, my sister and kaiqiu cuddling together on the couch,
with wide fearful eyes.
wahaha.
cute.

---

im recovering =)
thank God~!

---

im lazy to blog about all the birthday celebrations.
the tedious process of uploading photos,
oh gosh.
just thinking about it makes me tired.
wahaha.

there are photos from ting's bday party,
jeanette's bday party,
and geline's.

there'll be more after geok's party today.
sighs.
i do wish i'll be well enough to go.
i'll feel bad if i cant =(
sammie will be there~
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
haven seen her for ageeeees.

---

its a rainy rainy day today.
i love rainy days when im sick at home.
the perfect weather to curl up on the couch and watch happy movies.
wahahaha.
that was what i did yesterday.
watched the parent trap.
that old movie with young lindsay lohan in it.
i love that film.
happy happy movie.
it makes my mum cry tho.
she cries at all the family love stuff.

---

ahh.
that flu pill is making me drowsy.
off to zzzzzzzz.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

as if my blog dun sound depressing enough.
now i have more bad new.
im sick~!
wahaha.
my throat is hurting so badly,
i think i'll have to forgo my class presentation tml.
which weighs 10% of the total research paper grade.
ten percent!
ahhhhhhhhhh.

but there's good news too =)
im no longer as bothered as before by whatever that was bothering me =)
yay.
credits to God.
and to those who msged/blogged/emailed me encouragements.
qiqi and shaoning especially.
v helpful really =)
thank you all~!

sore throat + runny nose + the in-the-bone kinda coldness = no air con for the next few days.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i cant believe im gg to forgo 10% of my research paper grade.
how saddening.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

it is a great advantage
to be able to express yourself.
not just your happiness,
but also your lack of it.
not just your strengths,
but also your weaknesses.
to do this requires a great sense of security;
you would know that people will understand your plight
when you tell them all that you are thinking,
and know that they wld be willing to offer comfort
in your time of need.

this advantage
i do not have.

so cherish it if you have it.
you dont want to know what wld happen
if you didnt have it.

---

i am exhausted.
i have no energy for you.
any one of you.
no matter how much i love you,
how much i want you to be happy,
i cant entertain/empathize/comfort you.
i cannot.
not now.
i've been trying to make people happy all my life,
gimme a break will you?
gimme a break.
please.

---

i cant make sense of this mess.

while words fail as a means to vent all the negative energy in me,
tears work very well.
i dont agree that it solves nothing.
it solves a lot for me.
not physically of course,
psychologically.
my problem is intangible.
so crying works much better than anything else.

---

yes,
i have a problem.
but i dont want to talk about it.
so even if you read this,
dont ask about it and just pretend nothing is wrong with me.
i'll get along.
i always do.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

received a funny testimonial from darling yong en on friendster:




You have been hit. You have been considered One of the 15 prettiest girls on my friends list. Once you have been hit, you have to hit 15 pretty girls. If you get hit again you know your really pretty. If you break the chain you'll have UglyNess for 10 years. So hit 15 pretty girls on your friend list.

what a comforting explanation for girls who have nv been attached~! (like yours truly)
muahahahaha.
but it has to be pretty offending to the majority who have.
fancy calling them rotten apples!!!!!
=S
gawsh.
no offence to those who are/have been attached, my girls~!
i dont think you all are rotten apples, honestly.
im haven been attached cos im truly anal when it comes to stuff like that,
not cos im the best.
like duh.
there are some serious fallacy in that reasoning.

im not gg to post the same testimonial for other 15 girls on friendster,
cos i dont like the idea of passing on chain letters.
they spread silly irrational fears and superstition like fire.
but i'll name the 15 pretty ladies here on my blog,
so that they get the credit =)
and they areeeeee... *drumroll*
(the names are not ranked in order kays~!)

1. kailing~! she is oh-so-beautiful!!
2. wah suling. my idiot pemers have spent half their lives telling me (and my mother) that she's much prettier than me. irritating friends i have.
3. jingying
4. elphia
5. Eugenia
6. faith chua boon xian. muahahahahaha. (sorry, inside joke)
7. ms quah geok lan. annoying but pretty nonetheless. muahahaha.
8. hema!! her eyes and lashes, oh my goshhhhh.
9. Jamie
10. janice, her pretty oriental eyes~
11. maria darling of cos =) she's been talent scouted by some famous bollywood director~! wheeeeee~!
12. Marina
13. si yenting.
14. samantha leeeeee~! no doubts of her beauty =) (it rhymes!! wheeeee~)
15. shi shi~ pretty all her life. i've been in love with her eyes since primary 2.

there.
the princess have chosen.
muahahaha.
this doesnt mean that the girls that arent on this list are not pretty kays~!
just that these 15 are prettier in my eyes.
and superficial beauty really isnt a big deal.
its the inside that matters yes? =)

okays,
back to the books now.
ahhh.
im dreading it already.