Names can be deceiving


seriously. Ive decided to start blogging after so long because im honestly disgusted.
haha
came up here to rant about the disgusting swee kee that i ate. OMG it sucks totally.
talking about the old swee kee here. along seah street theres actually two swee kees, zomg
swee kee used to be one of the best chicken rice around lah, btw.
the other time i went to eat along that street with my family and we ate at NEW swee kee cox we didnt see the old one. after we were finished we saw the old swee kee and was still like, zomg we ate the wrong one. no wonder its like okay okay only.
OMG then today since im working at national library and my colleague is craving for chicken rice, we went to buy. then i decided that we should try OLD swee kee since its OLD it should be the traditional and nice one and not the NEW swee kee right!
so logically we went in and went to da bao. actually i should have left the shop at this moment okay.
the people selling are PRCS!!!!! siao liao confirm wrong alr.
how can PRCS make the traditional lao chi hao chicken rice. should be hainanese or what right.
must be imitate liao lor. LL.
then i still decided to try, happily trying to deceive myself that its like some kind of franchise keen on tapping on cheap labour.
OMG and guess what its a freaking 4 bucks for that rice and chicken.
seriously, if its nice i really dont mind
but it freaking SUCKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSS like hell.
when you open the box you know it alr.
i think it tastes even lousier than yong chai.
i think even if my father anyhow anyhow make one also nicer than it okay!
OMG swee kee my foot lah.
the rice taste like normal rice?
like normal WHITE rice?
its not even fragnant at all!
the chicken even better.
omg i admit i always end up eating breast meat cox i dont like bones,
and naturally its dry and i cannot go against the natural order of things,
but that one is seriously dry like crap.
the chicken is damn dry and NOT tender.
at least the NEW swee kee one was A BIT tender.
also better than nothing right!
OMG
and just when i thought putting some soy sauce would save up quite a bit,
i mean, adding liquid is bound to make the chicken more soft right?
or at least soggy?
omg the soy sauce is like the real DA HUA soy sauce.
its not even the chicken rice kind that you expect it to be a bit sweet lah!
FAINTED.
totally lousy chicken rice.
AND if you think thats all that can suck for chicken rice,
the chilli SUCKS TOTALLY
you know at least the chilli at old swee kee can make it?
the chilli here is really chilli lor
chilli bits in chilli water
its not even chilli sauce that you think its a bit soggy or wad
its like the chilli bits put inside the water too long then become chilli water, you know the water become red because of the bits.
omg feel like dying.
i think even the chilli that i anyhow do can win it.
please lah, at least put some lime lah.
so disgusting still dare to sell it, omg.
and i still added like a LOT? to cover up the soy sauce.
omg gross.
so here i get for 4 bucks,
chicken, rice.
chilli, water.
DA HUA soy sauce
WTH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

LOL suddenly 心血来朝 then decided to blog!
omg so dead this place.

not to scold people lahh okay.
been quite emo these days though
keep listening to emo 五月天 songs it's affecting me a bit, haha
now that i have all the time in my life (errr thanks to NOT being able to get myself employed),
amidst all that travelling to ever so far places for my interviews, ill start emo-ing

its quite sad that im listening to 突然好想你 and my brain is completely blank -.-
its so emoooooooo and i should at least have a person in mind or something?
but my brain is really completely blank.
bleah.
有deprived到
LOL

sian.
its quite weird trying to go back to my dizi after soooooo longggggggggg
was actually nervouss when i tried playing it again just now?
gosh, i wasnt even nervous last time when i faced a whole concert hall full of people -.-"
think im really dead.
totally lost all touch and now im trying to go back to csco
after not being with them through the most trying times when everyone was trying to get over sad events and stressed moments.
how to face them, how to start conversing again, after i changed quite a lot after the Alvls both in playing dizi and everything
in just 7 days stuck in thailand i think i changed quite a bit, let alone in 6 months which is awfully long
dont think there'll be many people turning up tml anyway, probably not just after the competition
only going with tingjun to help her into the orchestra.
when i myself am not even sure of being able to blend in again.
really hope tingjun can get into the orchestra lahh, she'll not give up on her yq then.

its quite sad getting buried in your academic work almost all the time.
almost killed preparing for Alvls when i force myself to read the papers everyday and hope that i get every nitty detail into my head and i could probably use it for my GP, trying to read every little detail in the notes, since it MAY come out for the A's (it didnt, anyway. something that is NOT in the notes came out, thanks man)
to the extent that i dont do anything else other than get obsessed with luozhixiang and study.
there were soooooo many things i wanted to do, but its not like im doing them now, i duno why
just feel like moping around now, and err attend interviews?
really hope i can see into the future, where i would be, whether i would be what i want to be.
what course would be best, which uni would be the best
sometimes i really think i am quite 胸无大志.
havent really thought of applying for overseas unis.
the reason probably because im not prepared to live without my family yet, in a foreign land somemore, with a rather screwed up first trip overseas in thailand.
its quite disturbing looking at those actively trying to fight for their future, trying to get into the top unis overseas, MIT, HARVARD, LBS, WBS, WHATEVER.
whats the point of trying so hard when i only want to settle for a local uni anyway?
and i really duno what to say if the scholarship interviewer asks me why im unwilling to go to an overseas uni.
errr, because i cant live with my family and i cant shift my family there. ill probably tell them im afraid that the airport would close down.
bleah.

HAHAHAHA ranting.
this blog is meant for me to bitch around people, oh no.

haha so long since i blogged
and normally i dont!
unless i have something to say.

well, just because i kept quiet doesnt equate to me agreeing with what you said,
it just means that there is no point in continuing the conversation which will end up in conflict anyway.

i dont think its nice to simply shoot your mouth off and tell someone to go find something to be committed to.
afterall, you cant jump to a conclusion that im void of committment, just a slacker wasting my time away just by listening to me talk about my cca or counting the number of times i ponned cca.
just because i dont show it doesnt mean i dont have it.
simply said, the fact that i dont constantly remind you all that i have an external cca and i do quite a lot of stuff there before doesnt mean i dont have an external cca
the fact that i dont flaunt my list of to-dos doesnt mean that i have nothing to do
the fact that i dont allow my work and my emotions to seep into curriculum time doesnt mean i dont have them

i admit the fact that im a horrible slacker in tkd and i regret being that, without changing the status quo by changing cca or pulling my socks
okay i shall not sound like the typical slacker that blames everyone but herself that shes a horrible slacker.
but it is never easy to start out as a second intaker, and i think the most screwed up part of my college life in terms of achievements would be my cca in hc.
this is especially so when nothing much was done comparable to orientation this yr, to help us fit into a cca, resulting in me joining in a rat race to finding a cca.
well, times in cca with friends do feel nice and its somewhat like a bonding session everytime, the lack of achievement still screws me up sometimes.
after all i dont think im that bad in my secondary school cca, even as a member.

well, the thing i cant stand is your demeaning tone (or at least i thought so)
it undermines my efforts to balance my academics, what i love to do and what i have been doing all along.
just because you are busy with your own work doesnt mean others are not if they choose not to show it
but since im a judgemental person myself, i dont simply get pissed off just because someone forms a judgement of me.
thats why i kept silent.

ZOMG my lips are like freaking swollen now, i duno whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
i looked totally like a duck when i woke up lahh, and worse still i duno the cause of it! AHHHHHH.

its really important how you phrase your words isnt it?
maybe i shouldnt be so relaxed while talking to friends because i just realized it makes them get the wrong idea.
gosh, its been so comfortable slacking and everything with them tt i realise im relaxing myself TOO MUCH

oh wells. it sucked to see your junior feel that you're like a stupid arrogant busybody who thinks that everyone is inferior to you.
yes, i was not in the syf team for last year's syf and if i say im not in the least affected by it, i must have been kidding. there was a period of time when i kept asking myself wad went wrong during the auditions, wad went wrong with my skills and felt terribly humiliated when the list of those who were in the syf team were out. well, what the instructor thinks the school needs for their syf is probably something i dont possess though i had always wished they would tell me straight in the face what i lacked like wad li zhen did during my diploma exam, ill reflect on it. i can never understand why it was just a sms message saying something like you have not been selected to be in the syf team.thanks for your time, blah blah blah. what utter nonsense.
and now, just by saying "HAHA good luck in HCCO they freaking rejected me without a reason and im a diploma now" incurred the wrath of my junior who actually feels like i have violated HER rights in choosing her cca to be hcco and asked me to shut up, showing total recognition to the fact that "i think im a diploma and therefore i am the BEST". seriously thats bullshit to me too, i dont think having a diploma means anything, it just means you have time and money to get a qualification tts probably going to help me get into NUS if i do so badly in the upcoming A's.
well i have to say that what sinyee said about the selection of the syf team made me feel much better and i detest myself for that, since it involves putting others down just to make myself feel that the system is fair in the first place.
to put it across bluntly, the idea that im not in hcco DOES NOT bother me more than the fact that my doubts about the system has never been cleared. in fact i cant even be bothered about hcco since i face more challenging pieces and more efficient practices outside. it is not like i have to depend on hcco for my skills to improve anyway. certainly it has made me mad that something i cant be bothered about or detest or despise could actually affect my relationship with my junior. arent we close enough for you to know that what ive said to you in the inner plaza was just for fun?or in the first place, is what you feel a result of what i said for fun or of bad malicious gossip spreading around. ahh wells who can avoid that.
i niao ttj about hcco rejecting me, this is seriously for leisure purposes only, if somehow what i said spread out, i have to say all these. its funny how people who have had contact with me does not trust me but instead trust others who havent even been close to me at the start. if this is truly the case, i have to say i am very disappointed and again dislike myself for being guilty of committing this mistake in other areas as well.
before direct confrontation with the accused, i conveniently thought i got hold of the whole situation and made my own silly judgement about him and felt that he was in the wrong for being so fussy and irritating.
after conversation, i finally realised that it was just a clash of personalities, a misunderstanding not cleared by both parties. i am also truly sorry to the accused and i respect him for what he has done for us for me till now. i really appreciate it though i had wished that they would clear up their misunderstandings for the better future of everyone in time to come.

well, this has taught me that however slight misunderstandings there are, it deserves to be cleared up. with direct confrontation, the opinions of both parties can be heard by the other party and improvements can be done, instead of guessing, accusing each other and letting your thoughts run wild and nasty about someone who merely had a different perspective as yours.

with this, i hope keatying can reply to my tags and tell me frankly where her judgement of me came from for any improvement to the situation or the tone and attitude she would prefer i have in future cases where conversation is possible. just by slashing your thoughts and feelings on your blog is not goin to lead to anything if you dont come to me directly.
similarly, i would hope the judging committee of the syf team last year come to me directly and tell me the reasons why im not in the syf team last yr. i believe they have their own reasons but if they dont come to me or others who are in the same predicament as me, as ordinary humans that cant be forgiving to every single thing, i preserve the right to despise the judging committee and believe in the conclusion that they have given me based on the information i have now, that im not in the syf team because a st nicks girl would never be preferred over a ny one.

and i was still complaining about havin to run 2.4 trial run,
and i was still rejoicing over delivering a good timing,
received a really shocking news from jieying
forgot to put my phone to silent during boo's lecture and it started ringing,
got super shocked and rushed to end the call
thought that jieying wouldnt normally call me on weekdays wad,
started worrying and when i couldnt stand it and called back during the lecture,
i received the sad news.

i was really in a state of shock and even asked jieying if shes serious or not.
gosh.
humans are really vulnerable creatures,
and fate is unpredictable.
when i ended the call i could still vaguely rmb seeing him on NYP annual concert day
didnt really know him personally but he was friendly and nice.
haiiiiiiiiii
my next thought was, omg, its going to be chinese new year alr.
how about his family?
:(

fate is unpredictable
i want to protect all that i love, my family, my friends.

Rest in peace, David.

okay!!
time for the end of the year post (though i didnt even post much this yr)

hmmmmmm loads of things happened this yr
a new school, new environment, new friends
am really truly thankful that i came to hwachong because it is really a good school
not intending that vj wasnt good, just that im more suited to the homely environment at hc,HAHA
was very much involved in dizi for the first half of the year,
having concerts, exams and everything
fulfilling i must say, but draining as well
hmmmmmmmmmmm or should i say its just the exams
haha
cox im horribly competitive and constantly comparing me to others would drive me up the wall
tts why i was quite negative about the idea of going for dizi competitions cox its so huh?
haha
how in the hell can you compare skills when we have different starting points?
she is richer, i am poorer
or she is smarter, im more stupid,
or she learnt ever since she was born, i learn only last yr
or things like tt
how can you just compare like tt
ok end of digressing and goin on and on about dizi
hmm one final thing,
my personal conclusion is participate in more concerts cox having dazu practice and playing correctly is so fun!haha.

okay
for the new yr ( A LEVEL YEAR, I KNOW )
i hope to :

get 4 As!!!!!!
become skinny!!!!!!
perform more!!!!!!
be happy everyday!!!!!!
be more clear about what i want to be!!!!!!
be more simple minded and less cutting and less sarcastic and less suspecting
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Hope you and me have a happy new year!:)

I wish to be :

more understanding,
more caring,
more appreciative,
more kind,
more simple,
less cynical,
less skeptical,
less grumpy,
less irritable,
less demanding,

to see the greater things in life.
wooooooooh