scenes from a new england back yard.

we had such a great long weekend. daddy was home from work after being super busy for a few weeks (yay!), the weather was amazing (hot, but we'll take it), and we put our hands in the dirt and made a garden! it was great fun. we're even attempting our first-ever sunflower house. here's hoping they grow big and tall. bb was a great helper. he says "mommy's garden." "help water." he enjoyed himself despite his lingering cold.





oh! and we also had a visit from momma bear. she's been in the woods in back of our house before. she's got a little cub who is cute as can be. we came home a couple of weeks ago to find our garbage had been carried off into the woods by her and she and baby were snacking. on this day she was coming back for more. she was right there in front of the deck. headed for the the garbage can. baby waited and called for her from the woods. she kept stopping to look back at him, then coming closer to the house. i know i'm not supposed to feed her. i know i don't want her getting comfortable with coming in our yard, but man. . . my heart was hurting for her. she needs to feed her little baby and it kills me to see her coming out of her home like that to do it. i felt sad and like we could somehow relate. that fierce protectiveness is present in all moms, i think. somehow we all have a common bond no matter what "kind" of mom we are. we'd do anything for our babies. i had to scare her away. i have my own baby to protect. but it was a strange feeling.

what have i done to piss the Universe off?

so,

1. *STILL* recovering from poison ivy. my homeopath says i may be having a "curative response" to the remedies prescribed. this sounds good in the long run, but the short term is completely frustrating and tiresome. i feel helpless to make it all better.

2. bb is sick with a nasty cold-cough combo. up the past 2 nights hacking away. stands up in his crib and cries, "boooogies!" i feel helpless to make it all better.

3. i sliced my finger open yesterday trying to quickly make lunch while bb whined at my knee. yet another way i can't use my hands!

4. i have some sort of pinched nerve/annoying pain going on that i can't identify. yep, helpless.

just what the hell is going on here? i think it's time the powers that be stop picking on me! i've done my time!

I realize more and more how hard it is for me to "do superficial." I am so used to diving on the deep end of the pool - discussing esoteric spiritual concepts, confronting personal demons, inquiring into cherished stories and thoughts... That anymore these days it's hard to just "chat."

I went for a walk today with another mom - and it struck me half way through, "I'm bored." Not that she was a bad person - she is a very pleasant person - it's just that even now I can't remember a thing she said. I thought how much cooler my walk could have been just looking at the neighborhood and enjoying the silence.

It will be interesting to see how the journey continues....

new 'do!

bb has been annoyed by his hair getting in his eyes and tickling his ears. this combined with being inspired by katie and her little jack's haircut, i decided it was time! it's just totally amazing how a haircut on a little dude can grow him up so fast. all of a sudden it was evident to me that i have a LITTLE BOY. baby no more!

i'm a whiner sometimes

now that i have returned from the land of poison ivy i've been thinking a lot about why it had to happen. i am a person who believes things happen for a reason and that there are lessons in the hard stuff.

it doesn't sound so bad when you hear it, "yeah, so and so had bad case of poison ivy." but no one who hasn't been there before knows what it means. it means a rash and possibly bubbles of ooey stuff between your fingers. it means your eyes swelling up and barely opening. it means spending 100s of dollars on doctors, creams, lotions, none of which really stop the insane itching. and then add to that your little toddler looking at you with pity in his eyes and wanting to HOLD YOUR HAND and hug you. ummm. . .OUCH!

so, why me? why this? well, maybe because i'm a whiner. i'm never happy with what i HAVE and always am looking to the next thing or what i wish i had or what i wish was different in my life instead of being happy and (god forbid) content with what i have. i have a lot. and it really was a wake-up call to be sitting on the couch watching my mom change bb's diapers, feed him dinner and play with him (hubby has a ridiculous work schedule right now) when i couldn't. all i could think was, "i just want my life back."

and so i have it. and though i may fall into the realm of the whiney again for right now, i am so happy to be ABLE to do laundry. it sounds so melodramatic. i wasn't dying or having my hands amputated, i was just out of commission for a few days, but it felt dire. so, i guess for now, i am delighting in being able to make smoothies with bb and tucking him in and yep, changing his poopy diapers.

my life is pretty good. i've gotten a lot of what i asked for. so, no mo' whining. . . at least now.

getting better all the time

so, last night i'm sitting on the couch with my hands sticking straight up in the air because it's unbearable to have them touching anything and i hear my husband upstairs taking bb into his room for bed. i yell goodnight and bb says (as clearly as he's ever said anything) "good night, mommy. i love you." (love comes out "yuv") it's probably the only thing that could have put a smile on my face. thank goodness for that little boy!

i'm on the mend. i can type now--at least a little. . .

k

mother's day

hey, everyone, how was your mother's day?

me? i was supposed to go out to brunch at my favorite restaurant with my son, husband and a few others. but instead, i did something more fun! that's right, i went to the EMERGENCY ROOM! woot woot!

not for anything glamorous. i wasn't like, hiking some dangerous terrain or even doing anything fun. i stupidly got poison ivy. REALLY REALLY badly. my face feels like a 3 foot thick scouring pad and i can barely use my hands (2 finger, poke typing, here).

happy, mother's day, kate! here's a painful shot of steroids in the butt! wheee!

First Cold!

Well...Skyler got his first cold. Not sure if it came from swimming with other kids, the daycare, or our neighbors next door... Egads. I didn't even know what was happening - just heard him coughing a little (realized later that that was post-nasal drip) and then wondered at all this liquidy stuff coming out his nose. I used the nasal aspirator and this stuff just kept coming out (I know, TMI)... He started crying in the middle of the night as I was trying to figure out what was happening. Then Stan comes into the room and I'm just, "What is this stuff?" Stan looks at me and says, "Honey, he has a cold - that liquidy stuff is snot!!" LOL. I had no idea. Good thing he's been through this before. I just thought, "What the heck is going on??"

At first he hated having something put up his nose - didn't quite take to the suction effect. But yesterday, I bought a different aspirator, and now he just patiently lets me do my thing. I dread to think what might be next on the new mommy train....

hugs

somedays it's so very good to be a parent. lately bb has taken to hugging. this is a boy who has never been particularly cuddly. he wouldn't even sit still in our laps until he was 9mos. old. and he never liked the typical "cradle hold" not even when he was a newborn.

so, it makes his new snuggliness all the better. now i get hugs. WITHOUT asking for them. 3-5 times a day he'll just stop what he's doing and say, "hug!" or "hug mommy!" and he'll come over and give me a big fat hug complete with a squeeze. today he's added a kiss. "hug!" (hugs me) "nice kiss?" (plants one on me). it's awesome. a little payback for all the hard stuff!

Thanks to Kate

Kate,

Just wanted to say that this blog looks amazing - Talk about creativity. Really cute ideas and great graphics! Can't wait to see how it all unfolds.

First Post!

Hi Peeping moms!!

Talk about the benefits of water! Earlier this week I started Skyler on his first swim lessons! I enjoyed it so much, daddy had to get in the pool the next time. However, today I learned that the pool might be infected with Staph... Imagine the thoughts going through my mind... primarily I'm thinking of what happens to patients in hospitals who get this... some lose limbs. I saw a special on Primetime (or some variation thereof) about a woman who had just given birth to a healthy baby and three days later lost both legs and I think her arms b/c she contracted staph while recovering from L & D. Yeah. So now you get a sense of the paranoia starting to creep in.

I'm calling them tomorrow to ask some direct questions. Whether they tell me the truth is another matter. After that I will just have to trust the universe and Sky's destiny. I can't protect him from everything (most things) so.... I'll make the best decision I can and really try to let it go.

Hmmmm. Other than that I never got to see the wildflowers blooming!! Worked at one of my p/t jobs longer than I wanted to and ran out of time. Plus, we had to wonder if a four hour drive (two there and two back) was pushing it with a four month old. Maybe next year!

all you need is water.

so, today i discovered a big key to toddler (and thus mommy) happiness. not sugar, not tv or even music. nope. water! that's right.

the biggest hurdle i've found in staying home with a toddler all day (and sometimes i have 2) is conquering boredom. when they are bored forget it. it's harder to deal with than setting up some big, eloborate project. it's actually an easier day when more is planned. so, today. . . water.

we started with a tepid sink full of water and some lovely bubbles. tinted the water a lovely shade of green with some food coloring, added some spoons, pots and scoops and we were in for a good 45 minutes of uninterrupted, focused play. turn on the sprayer and the whole experience goes up like 5 notches in their books. whoo hoo!



we moved on to the backyard. the boys can go for a REALLY LONG TIME taking water from here ("BIIIIG!")



to here ("li-dle!")



later, of course, we followed it up with a bath. i wonder if his hands are peeling. . .

blog on.

hello out there!

it's the very first post on the Peeping Moms blog.

there are lots of blogs out there written by moms (and dad's). a lot of them are funny. a lot are written by "writers." for this blog my hope is that we can just share our stories and struggles--whether they are funny or well-written or not.

being a parent is a huge job and a huge life change for those who are new to it. it's nice to know there are others out there struggling with the same things. and having similar successes and smiles, too. let's rap.