A work in progress

 So in January I made a goal to get back to the same weight I was when I got married by my anniversary which is May 12th. I was sick of feeling bad all the time and my honest motivation was my health. I'm 25 years old and I was already having health problems! My blood sugar levels were wacky and I know I was on the track for type 2 diabetes, the scariest part was that I felt like I was going to loose my eye sight, my vision would get so blurry when my blood sugar was messed up and I honestly couldn't see or focus on much. I though this is ridiculous and I have to make this change happen now and it's not a diet or weight loss program but a complete transformation of my lifestyle and the way I think. I've changed my lifestyle and the way I view myself.
It's crazy how much of an emotional journey loosing weight has been for me, I've had to dig out my demons, face them straight on and get rid of them. I realized how much I have let fear rule my life in the past and the way I deal with emotional stressers, which was food, SURPRISE ... don't we see that on EVERY season of the biggest looser? ha ha I have watched that show for years and never fully grasped that I do the same thing as the contestants on there do, which is finding comfort in food. I craved the emotional release that comes with eating, in my case over eating. I started gaining weight a year after being married, after miscarrying twins at 11 weeks along, I had some hormonal issues from the pregnancy,depression from the loss as well as some post partum depression. Frankly, I was depressed for months where I didn't feel much of anything... I felt pretty empty, so I "filled" up. Luckily for me I have an amazing husband who was completely there for me emotionally and helped me through that rough time, but I still turned to food as well and gained around 50 pounds in a year. I replaced my normally healthy eating habits with poor ones and eating became an emotional release instead of just to nourish my body.
That is just a glimpse into the emotional journey that I've gone through while loosing weight. I feel like I could write a book on the things I learned about myself. I'm learning to love and respect myself. I've since changed my relationship with food and how I deal with stress is different. I take it out in a workout or get out of the house and do something active, I love it! I've changed my diet, I don't drink dairy milk, but drink Almond milk instead, I've cut sugars with the exception of an occasional treat (usually chocolate or ice cream). I have cut down my carbohydrate intake and I eat 5-6 small meals a day to deal with my blood sugar issues, (which are SO SO much better now!) I try to eat a salad a day, lean proteins, healthy fats and lots of fruits and veggies. I track my food intake (to keep me accountable) on Livestrong.com each day and try to workout 30-60 minutes a day, usually I get 3-6 good workouts in a week and try to stay active on days I can't squeeze in the time. I did the whole insanity workout program (9 weeks) and loved it, I finished 3 weeks ago and since then have continued to do the workouts every day or every other day.
I have lost 46 pounds since last September, 31 of those pounds have been in the last 12 weeks. I still have more weight to loose before I get to my goal weight but I'm feeling great and am loving the changes that are taking place. I feel confident that I'll reach my goal weight and maintain it through the futures ups and downs that are bound to come.
I hope I can be an inspiration for someone else who is ready to make a change for the better. I have to say that my family has been an absolutely AMAZING support! I can't thank everyone enough for all of the love and support.

Me before, I don't have any full body pictures of myself unfortunately so you can't see the total transformation. However, I have lost about 11 inches from around my waist at the belly button level alone, with many many more inches lost on all parts of my body. went down 6 pants sizes. :)

My camera broke so this is a cell phone picture that Amara randomly took of me last night. I need to get a new camera and then I'll post a little clearer picture, but you can see the difference. 

Introducting baby Harvey

Baby Harvey made his way into the world on July 21, 2012 at 8:45 pm he weighed 7 lbs 4 oz. and was 20 inches long.

Labor and Delivery

On Friday the 20th I had a Doctor appointment where he stripped my membranes and set up a induction for the following Monday. I was dilated to a 2 and 75% effaced, the same I was the week before despite lots of Braxton Hicks contractions that I was sure did something, haha but no they were just practice. So after my appointment I wanted to help the process of having my membranes stripped and went shopping at Walmart to get some last minute stuff. I was exhausted and cramping pretty bad by the time I finished shopping, I started spotting when I got home so I decided to just relax and take it easy. I continued cramping and started feeling really sick, like I had the flu, I was nauseous and super hormonal, I read online that when they strip you membranes it releases lot of hormones, which is what puts you into labor. So my parents were coming into town and were going to stay at my house in case I went into labor, I knew it was coming because I felt so crappy!
So at 3:30 in the morning I woke up and had to use the bathroom like usual, I was cramping but thought it was because I waited too long to go pee. I woke up an hour later and went to go to the bathroom because I was cramping again and I couldn't go, I tried to go back to sleep but was interrupted again by "cramping" it was then that I realized I wasn't cramping, these were contractions so I started timing them and they were coming every 6-8 minutes and lasting for about 30 seconds. At about 6:00 I had the infamous "bloody show" ( I know... so gross) so I knew for sure I was in labor. The Dr. told me to not wait too long to go to the hospital because I was B strep positive and needed 4 hours of antibiotics before I delivered, Rosalie's labor was only about 8 hours and I was dilated to a 10 for 3 hours of that before delivery and I knew second deliveries tend to go much quicker, so I went in at about 8:00 when the contractions were 6 min's apart. They checked me and I was at a 4 so they watched me for an hour and what would you know, the contractions slowed down to every 15-20 minutes apart. After an hour they checked me again and I was a 4-5, however, my Doctor wasn't on call so the on call Doctor didn't feel comfortable admitting and starting another Doctors patient so they sent us home. I went home and ate, then went to Walmart to walk laps because my contractions had started up again and I wanted to help the process along. After we came home and I was determined not to go back into the hospital to get sent home again so I tried to sleep but woke up every 8-10 minutes with really really strong contractions. after about an hour of "napping" my mom told me I better get into the hospital because contractions were so painful I couldn't stand or talk through them. It was then that they jumped to every 2-3 minutes apart and I knew I was going to go fast so we went in. I was a 6 and 90% effaced. I knew with Rosalie I went from a 4 dilated to a 10 in about 30 min's so I immediately asked for an epidural. I had to wait until I got fluids in me and the antibiotic started. so about an hour after I got there they gave me one. At that point I was at about an 8 and in transition stage, super, super painful! The epidural was so nice and I could finally relax, watching the monitor spike every minute with huge contractions made me so thankful I couldn't feel them. the nurse checked me and I was at a 10, which I knew because I got the shakes super bad, just like I did with Rosalie when I was at that point, I also had a huge bulging bag of water, she called the doctor and told him to get over there. He said "well she still has another 3 hours of antibiotic left" the nurse laughed and said well she's not going to make it. haha the doctor got there and with 4 pushes he was out! So from the time I checked into the hospital it was about 2 1/2 hours until Harvey was here. I got to hold him while Paul cut the cord, I love how they instantly calm down when they are placed on your chest, I was able to nurse him for about an hour and he was a natural at it!
He has had a little problem with spitting up at random and then choking on it but it is getting better, the doctor said that a lot of babies esophagus' are just immature and they will grow out of it by about 2 weeks, they don't do testing for reflux before then because it is so common. He is getting better and only does it 1-2 times a day now instead of every hour so I'm excited about that. :) He is a very cuddly baby and is so good! He never cries and is just a happy and content baby. We have already had a few run ins with him peeing everywhere. I was changing his diaper when someone came to the door so I looked away for a minute and looked back to find him peeing on his face, poor guy! I'll admit it was kind of funny, wish I had a camera. We love him to and are so happy to have him join out family. Rosalie loves to give him kisses and a pet his head. I found her standing over his bassinet at 2 in the morning the other day and she was petting his head and talking softly to him. She is super motherly and that is awesome as long as I'm watching, but it scares me when I'm out of their sight. Anyways, I love my little family!

Appendicitis

When Harvey was one week old I started having sharp stomach pains, I didn't know if it was just part of the "having a baby after party" or if I had a virus or infection. I started hurting around 2 pm on Saturday and it just got worse, saturday night I didn't really sleep, which is normal but this time it was because I was in pain. on Sunday my pains kept getting worse so I started thinking about going into the instacare. Paul went to church and I texted him about 20 min's later and told him to  come home because I needed to go in. I called labor and delivery and told them I thought I might have an infection, they told me to go to the instacare so that is where we went. They told me since I had just had a baby they couldn't take me there and that I needed to go to the ER. I told Paul, "forget it" I really really didn't want to go to the ER with a baby and I was sure they would just send me home with an antibiotic or something and so I thought I would just wait and go into my doctor on Monday morning. So we went home and Paul told me if it gets worse in 30 min's I'm taking you in. So I took a shower and let the water beat on my stomach and back in hope of relief but it didn't really help, after that I knew I needed to go in. at that point I called my sister and had her take the kids while I went in. I told her it felt like my appendix was going to burst and I looked up the symptoms of Appendicitis and I had most of them. So we went in and they asked about symptoms I told them how I felt but didn't mention that I felt like I had appendicitis because that seemed too far fetched and I didn't want them to think they had a hypochondriac on there hands. (I have issues with that so I tend to not tell people when I'm sick or hurting, it goes back to spraining my ankle and having to swim through the pain at swim practice because they treated me like I was faking to get out of the workout, lol trauma, I'll save that for later) anyways, they checked for a possible bladder infection but I knew I didn't have all the symptoms of a bladder infection and so when they asked I knew I was frustrating the doctor when I answered no to some of the questions that would mean that I had a bladder infection. He told me I probably had endometristis from having a baby but as precaution he started feeling around my abdomen to see if he could pin point the pain. He pushed on my uterus and of course it was tender because I had just had a baby. He touched my right side and I grimaced in pain, I was like that is where I hurt. so he kept pushing on it in shock 4 times and asked "really? that hurts?" It hurt so bad and Paul said my face was in agony, He said "really? that's were your appendix hangs out, lets do a CAT scan to see". so they did one and sure enough he came in and said "well my dear you surprised me, you have appendicitis and we need to do surgery, you're the first 1 week postpartum appendicitis I've seen, usually postpartum women have gallbladder problems" so they wheeled me into a room when to wait for the surgen to get there. at that point I couldn't even walk I was in so much pain. Paul left to go get some food from his parents sunday dinner since we didn't know when they would be ready to do surgery. Of course when he was gone they came and got me, I had to go pee and had to have the nurse help me stand, I started crying because standing hurt SO bad and I was even on morphine at that point. Anyways, they took me to the Operating room and I hate getting the anestecia mask, it makes you feel so closterphobic and its amazing to me how your just instantly out, I woke up and they were just finishing up the operation, but at first I didn't even realize that I had already been put out and I though oh crap I'm awake and they don't know it, I still have tubes down my throat and so I couldn't talk, so I just started wiggling my fingers in a panic, I heard them say she's awake, and I could open my eyes and I saw them standing over me, I then realized that the surgery was over and they pulled the tubes out and I said "am I done?" then I was out again and woke up in the recovery room. I spent the night there and pumped and dumped my breast milk despite them telling me it was okay to breastfeed, I still felt a little weary with all the medications that I had in my body. My sister was amazing a watched Rosalie and Harvey over night, she pulled an all nighter with her 3 month old and Harvey, Harvey kept puking up and choking on the formula that we had to give him, since he already had problems with puking and choking on breastmilk and the formula was just harder for him to digest. Anyways, the doctors were really good at getting me out of there soon so I could see my kiddos. I talked to the Surgen the morning after the surgery and she said that its a good thing I went in when I did because my appendix was "fully dialated and completely imflammed" he said alot of times people's appendix' have just a little section that is infected but mine was totally infected. Thank heavens they were able to do surgery that night because if we had waited and it burst then I would have been in the hosptial all week. What a huge blessing that it didn't and I was able to get home and feeling better.

Another Broken Leg

On Thursday Rosalie was going a little stir crazy and running around the house like usual, going from jumping on her bed to touching baby Harvey and doing laps around the front room. I was opening mail at the dinning room table when I heard a huge thud and Rosalie started crying that "cry" I thought Oh crap! I know that cry! I went into the front room and found her laying under her chalk board, I realized that she wasn't moving her left leg and so I was able to discern through the cries that is was around her ankle on her left leg, I asked her what happened, I didn't know if she fell off the couch and rolled under the chalk board or what happened, she told me she was "jumping on the wall" I had no idea what that meant but I guessed that she was standing on our base boards and jumped but how could that hurt her so bad. Anyways, I knew that she either sprained her ankle or broke her leg so I called paul and had him come home from work and we went into the instacare and had the same doctor that took care of her break from Anti-gravity trampoline park 6 weeks ago. He didn't recognize us but of course was leery that we were in there again with another possible break, especially when I couldn't totally explain what happened, even though I was sitting 5 feet away from her when it happened. Its such a crappy feeling to have someone question your parenting. So they did a x-ray and I was shocked when I heard the doctor say this break is a bad one, and show me that x-ray of a spiral fracture where her tibia is split in a spiral up the bone shaft at a angle. The doctor said this break couldn't come from just jumping, she had to have caught it on something. the only thing I could think of was if she got it caught between the leg of the chalk board and the wall. When we got home I asked her what happened, now that she was a little more calmed down. She told me she was trying to climb on the chalk board and fell, which makes sense that she must have caught her leg between the wall and the leg of the chalk board when she fell. The doctor said it isn't normal for a 2 1/2 year old to break 3 bones, so we might have to do some testing to see if she has some problems with brittle bones. She might have possible metabolism problems with calcium or other things. We get a cast, (thanks heavens no surgery as far as we know) on Tuesday and we'll see. Ugh.. what a crazy past week and half its been. but in a weird way there have been more blessings to counteract the bad. Tender mercies, or sure!  

Thank you

Can I just say that people have been so completely amazing at helping us! I can't even express how thankful I am to them, my sister charity has been an angel by taking the kids, bringing us dinner 3 nights in a row and helping with so many things. My sister in law Laura has been amazing too by coming and cleaning my house and doing my laundry, taking Rosalie to the park, she's been amazing! My Mother in Law has been awesome by bringing us food and helping do my dishes. My mom tried to make it here but ran into some complications and wasn't able to come, but will be here this week to help me with my Doctor appointments. My Brother Josiah stayed with me while Paul was at work, he made me breakfast which included mint chocolate chip ice cream crepes, they were delicious! Even my sister in law Dominique who just had a baby last week came and brought us lunch! and of course my visiting teacher have been amazing, and ward members have been inspired to help out. A couple from our old ward that work with Paul even brought us dinner. I really don't even know how to thank everyone enough. I'm not the type of person who likes to let people help me out and this has definitely been a humbling experience and learning experience in letting others serve us. So thank you to everyone who has helped! I can't go without saying what an amazing husband I have! seriously I couldn't have done these past 2 weeks without Paul, He helped in every way and still worked full time because he couldn't take any work off. He stayed up all night with me and the kids and even slept on the couch with me so he could help with Harvey after I had surgery and I couldn't breath laying down. I definitely married an incredible man and I'm so so grateful for him!  I love him!

Full term- technically

I'm 37 weeks and our baby is considered full term so I guess technically the waiting game begins! I know  the chances of having the baby before 39-40 weeks are slim for me. I was dilated to about 1 cm and still pretty high at this week's appointment. So I'm trying not to think about it being close to "D" day yet and really the longer he stays in there the better. However, I would be lying if I said that pregnancy isn't getting uncomfortable, these last few weeks are some of the hardest! I am enjoying my last few days/weeks of only having one little munchkin running around though. Anyways, here are some belly shots of the little bambino.

28 weeks

33 weeks

35 weeks

36 weeks

37 weeks

Munchkin love

Rosalie is getting so big! I just wanted to blog a little about what she has been up to.

• She turned 2 in February.

• She loves to dance and twirl, especially in dresses that flow out when she twirls. She is such a girly girl, and yet loves to race trucks and play in the dirt with the boys.
  

• She is super busy and is curious about everything around her.

• She keeps me on my toes, if its quiet, then she is into something and 90% of the time it isn't going to be pleasant to find.

• She is so sweet, she says "I love you mommy" or "I love you daddy" all the time and when we say "I love you too" she says "thank you mommy/daddy", she gives great hugs and kisses too!

• She loves to sing and make up her own songs, She sings about random stuff, like doggies, and cousins, etc.
  
  
• She loves to talk on the phone and copy conversations that she has heard me having on my phone at earlier times. Her latest things is "you can't hear me, hello, hello" haha
  

• She loves baby brother already, she tries to feed him food through my belly button all the time and gives him kisses. She thinks that she has a baby in her belly too and so does Paul. haha

• We puppy sat for my cousin last week and she loved it! It was a tiny little dog, like teacup size, and so she would carry it everywhere or put it in her shopping cart and drive him around. Poor dog, I'm glad it survived the week! haha

• She talks so good now, we have full conversations everyday, about books, dreams, events, friends, baby names. haha she loves to play lets name the baby, she comes up with names like "ipad, poo poo potty, stinky feet, hannah, Rosalie, daddy, mommy, etc" and laughs hysterically after she says each one. Its pretty entertaining.
  
  
• We went to the airshow and she loved it! It was 4 hours long and she watched every airplane performing, we didn't even have to entertain her.

• She loves to "help mommy cook" or do the dishes, she is already my right hand woman.

• She loves to color...everywhere! On her body, the walls, furniture, and sometimes paper. I have tried and tried and tried to teach her not to color on anything but paper but when she gets that pen or marker in her hands she can't resist the temptation. After she colors on things she's not supposed to I ask her if that was naughty or nice, and she always says "naughty" and knows its bad but that doesn't stop her. She even tells me when she's "coloring on body". I guess well just have to keep on teaching her and someday she'll grow out of it.

• She's getting ready for potty training, I guess in part we are delaying her progress because we are remodeling out bathroom and have it shut all the time because its under construction, its not the most inviting place. So when we finish I think she will do much better. She does have a little potty chair but usually sits on it after she has taken her diaper off and went on the floor, which is progress and we'll get it figured out pretty soon I'm sure.

Those are just a few things about our little munchkin that keep us busy and loving life. She really truly is a blessing and we love her more than we could ever express.

(she loves playing with daddy)






( you can see some of her artwork on her feet in this picture:))

The verdict is in...

We are having a Boy!!! He seems very healthy and everything looks good, he is measuring for July 24th and my actual due date is the 27th, since its so close to the actual due date we are leaving it for the 27th. Which after having Rosalie I figure that the baby comes when the baby is ready to come.
We went into the ultrasound really thinking that we were going to see a little girl, we told the Dr. that Rosalie has been saying she has a baby sister and that we were pretty sure it was a girl. The Dr. said, "well I'm seeing some outdoor pluming"and sure enough there was no doubt that it was a boy.
Here's a picture of his sweet face. I'm already loving this little boy! So excited (and a little nervous) to have him join our family!

Baby #2

Rosalie is going to be a big sister in July and we are super excited! Rosalie loves to give the baby kisses by kissing my belly, several times she has tried to feed the baby things by putting them up to my belly. Haha she cracks me up! She's going to be a great big sister! She is convinced and almost has me convinced that this baby is going to be a baby girl, she keeps telling me randomly that she has a baby sister, so I guess we'll see. I find out in a month so I'll keep you posted:)

Pintrest gone bad

I loved this wreath from Pintrest

so I decided to make it, It turned out so cute.... I put it on my front door and the next morning this is what I found....



Yes I am a genius and didn't follow all the instructions, like when she said that she highly recommends shellacking the candy if you are going to hang it up outside... yep, genius! Now I need to go scrub it off my front door and porch...