kemarin pak aku fwd msg loahan perahsaang daripada org utan tu... intipati msg ialah :

1) aku xde nak diskas soal persekolahan budak2, tau2 jek dah pindah skola, tau2 jek dah benti skola

2) aku dah semikin tak mampu skolakan bdk2 so bg je la kat dia bior dia jaga

3) dia x mo turun nek court berebut anak lagi

4) suh aku fokus je la dengan famili baru

5) mintak tlg pak aku sampaikan pesanan dia (sebab dia tau klu dia sms aku trus aku akan jawab tagline aku yakni "pegi mampos!") ngeh3x

fwded sms from pak aku tu aku dilit jek dan tak koser aku nak balas sebab no point debating with sumone with no brain. tapi aku nak gak balas kat sini.. have to let it out, ya know..

1) ofkos la aku xmo diskas sebab aku masukkn skola ke, tuko skola ke, benti skola ke sumer kos aku yg tanggung. jangan ngaku bapak atau berlagak macam bapak yg concern klu satu sen pun takmo bagi.. malu la weii jadi bapak takde telo..

2) semikin2 aku pun masih lagi makan ayam, daging, ikan. kaya2 dia pun bdk2 asek makan telo, penah makan nasik dgn kicap, nasik dgn gula...

3) hekeleh stetmen loser... kat sms berkokok bukan main.. klu ada bran jom ar masuk court... aku ok jek no hal... aku tak penah halang dia amek budak... bdk2 masuk skola ke tuko skola ke tak skola ke dia tetap tau katne bdk2 tu... last i checked, he's the one violating court order by not giving nafkah budak2... so, klu betui nak jaga bdk2 tu kenapa takut naik court??

4) makacih.. aku memang sangat fokus dengan keluarga baru dan bdk2 tu.. keujudan bam tak ubah sebesar zarah pun kasih syg aku mahupun kasih syg boo pada bdk2 tu... dan aku paling menyampah bila ahkak aku yg tak penah melalui apa yg aku lalui sibuk2 mengadvise suh kasik kasih sayang sama rata sebab kes ahkak aku yg sorg lagi tu. ehhh kamon la.. aku bukan ahkak aku yg satu lagi tu dan boo bukan laki ahkak aku yg kejenye asek menternak lemak tu..

5) pegi mampos!! (bhahahaha)


Nota Kaki : Mengikut enakmen undang2 keluarga islam negeri selangor seksyen 84, seorang ibu boleh hilang hak penjagaan sekiranya :

(a) jika perempuan itu berkahwin dengan seseorang yang tidak mempunyai pertalian dengan kanak-kanak itu yang orang itu dilarang berkahwin dengan kanak-kanak itu, jika penjagaannya dalam hal sedemikian akan menjejaskan kebajikan kanak-kanak itu tetapi haknya untuk penjagaan akan kembali semula jika perkahwinan itu dibubarkan;

(b) jika perempuan itu berkelakuan buruk secara keterlaluan dan terbuka;

(c) jika perempuan itu menukar pemastautinannya dengan tujuan untuk mencegah bapa kanak-kanak itu dari menjalankan pengawasan yang perlu ke atas kanak-kanak itu, kecuali bahawa seseorang isteri yang bercerai boleh mengambil anaknya sendiri ke tempat lahir isteri itu;

(d) jika perempuan itu murtad;

(e) jika perempuan itu mencuaikan atau menganiaya kanak-kanak itu.


P/S: malam tadi iman dengan inisiatif sendiri bukak buku and started to spell the alphabets altho dia masih tak boleh nak pronounce the words. but he's able to remember the alphabets oredi! what took his teachers 6 months to teach him and yet still not able to remember, it took me 4 days via homeschooling!! i should pat myself at the back! ngeeee!! (inilah unforeseen rewards yg org utan tu cakap aku semikin sgt tak mampu skolakan bdk2.. hohoho)

iyolah iyolah aku hapdet la blog aku neh... huh!

ermm.. alkisah aku baru jek tender resign.. actually tak plan pun.. but due to unavoidable circumstances telah membuatkan aku mengambil tindakan nekad dan membuat satu anjakan paradigma untuk melangkah keluar dari comfort zone aku selama 5 thn yg lepas..

so what's next?

yg pastinya i still cant let go of my business.. ive spent too much oredi for that and would like to see something materialize before i can go back to makan gaji.. klu aku takde komitmen dust store tu i do believe i can survive with juz my business.. tp disebabkan dust store tu ler im still in dilemma whether to become work-at-home-mom (WAHM) or continue climbing the ladder of career woman.

at first i thot kakak n iman juz go to tadika, i stay at home with baby bam, pick them up after school and fill my time in front of the laptop promoting my website. but, a call from a friend changed everything.

she used to be tax consultant with ernst & young, a born & raised city girl, but she quit after her 2nd child was born and moved to kluang to be a fulltime housewife and concentrate on raising her kids. she said its not easy to survive on a single income in the city so that was her sacrifice just so she can be with her kids 24-7. she even attended seminars by the littlekittle.com on homeschooling and such but she said she doesnt have enough patience to homeschool her kids.

now, a little info on littlekittle.com, the mother is very very young, 2-3 years younger than me but they are already big names in the internet business. the mother loves writing and often wrote about her homeschooling techniques. their income comes from web design, advertisers, seminars, talks, etc. the mother even appears on some talk shows on tv.

so, i said to my fren ofcos she can survive, they're well off oredi wat.. my fren said, no, actually, they came from very humble background. they married young, and used to do odd jobs before. but one thing they had in common was they're very very committed. well, that certainly silenced any arguments i had in mind.

so i thot, if she can do, why can't i? the same question i had in mind when i see my clothing supplier, younger 2-3 years than me but oredi own a business and growing. so he's chinese, english oso not so good. but the question is.. IF THEY CAN DO, WHY CAN'T I?

bila fikir2kan my fren's words tu i tot to myself, betul jugak.. i do not want to quit my job, and become too engrossed in my business that i fail to see my kids growing. should i wish to sacrifice and be a WAHM, let it be for a greater purpose. i want to be a part of my kids life. i know that i am oredi a part of their life. what i meant was i do not want them to see me as a money making machine and i do not want to see less and less of them so i can bring more and more money. i want to see them more and yet still make money even though it wont be as much or as consistent as me being an employee.

i ask kakak and iman, which would they prefer, pergi ke sekolah atau ummi ajar? both said nak ummi ajar. so its confirmed then. this monday we'll be going to their school to collect all their books and stuffs, and i have to make a little corner for their study. juz to think of it, nak masak, nak ngajar, nak kemas umah, nak jaga baby bam, nak pergi post office, nak promot website, nak update kedai, nak layan boo, actually really really scares me. i even wonder whether ill have the time to be the jack of all trade. but I'VE GOT TO TRY.

well perhaps its time oredi i changed my bad habits, become more disciplined and moves faster. tgk batik sup sap sup sap sup sap wat keje i guess i have to move that way OR i wont have any time to anything at all, particularly regarding my business and its very very crucial that i get continuous sales. furthermore, next year kakak dah darjah 1 and she cant afford to be late for school. sekolah gomen tak dapat la nak berlagak macam anto ke sekolah tadika.. ngeh ngeh ngeh...

neways, im about to embark on a journey which is scary, and will demand total commitment in my time, patience, energy and attention. raising human beings are not an easy job but it certainly worthwhile beyond words. decisions have been made, the tribe has spoken. juz need to look forward, do what i've planned to do and at the end of the day have faith and leave the rest in HIS hands.

chaiyok2!!

bwh ni gambo 3D scan aritu pi kat spital pantai, klang... aku pi situ sbb tensen dgn duktur yg tempat cek up monthly tu... udah aku cakap boy, boy, boy!!! dia cakap bukannnnnnnnn! nampak beger, beger, beger!!!

skali tu kan betui! nampak jelas telo dan toit... hehehhee...

yg 3D ni gambo tak baper jelas sebab baby dah beso... ruang nak gerak tak banyak... ideally klu nk scan 3D masa 6-7buln.. yg itam tu placenta... dekat setongah jam gak ar duktur menggodek2 perut tapi tak dapat snap gambo yg clear.. tu belum kena tendang balik dgn baby tu... huhuhuhu.....

nak ceta sket pasai spital pantai klang tu... nama jek spital swasta tapi nak nunggu sama jek macam spital gomen! masa nunggu tu dok ler nengok nama2 duktur kat pintu bilik... hukaloh sume pun duktur kaplam... sketui dua jek nama caya... staff pun memang spesis kaplam yg konker laaa sampai spital tu pun bau derang... siyes!! opismet aku ler dok pomot kata dia pi scan 3d kat situ rm80 jek... aku pun berkobar2 ler meredah sampai ke klang..... skalik dia bagi bil, mak aiiiiiii dua latut lebey woooo!! huhuuhu sibbek leh klem.... ngeeeee......

kad tu regenye rm7.. aku suh dia pos ke rumah.. dia tanya nak tuleh pe.. since aku xtau nak tuleh pe aku ckp biar je nnt aku tuleh.. pehtu bila kad dah sampai liesa lak xde kat umah.. sayang nak bukak sebab nak dia merasa dapat surat siap bersetem lagik... finally dia balik, showed her the card, she was sooo excited.. dia belek2 kad tu and dia tanya "ummi beli kad ni utk kakak ke?" "iyer ler.." "ummi ni wat kakak malu je laa.." and her eyes brimmed with tears.. terharu kot.. sejak besdey dia aritu emosi dia senang betui touched... and sejak tu jugak dia xmo berenggang dengan aku... dah x excited nak balik SP lagi dah.. sket2 suh aku amek.. and aku pasan dia ske jalan saing2 aku... klu tak dulu ske menonong je dengan iman... skrg ni faithfully jalan sebelah aku, lending her shoulder for support..

few days back, boo usik dia pasal mak baru.. salu boo usik iman je suh ikut mak baru... iman pun wat2 marah laa.. then one day dia usik kakak plak cakap nak anto ke umah mak baru.. elok2 kakak tengah nyanyi2 terus dia diam... mulut muncung, mata dah bergenang... pehtu dia cakap kat aku dalam nada warning "lepas ni kakak tak nak dengar sapa2 lagi cakap pasal tu." and she repeated her warning again.. i just said iyer dont worry xde sapa suh dia ikut mak baru... and she wiped her tears away..

adeh.. suddenly aku rasa overwhelmed with emotion lak..

ermm meh ler nak ceta kronologi perkahwinan ayah budak2 neh...

jumaat 12hb patut turn belah sana tapi bapaknya berkeras nak amik wiken 19hb tu sebab dia nak kawennnn... tapi dia janji nak mai amik jap bawak pi soping baju budak2... since boo pun takdak pi BTN, aku mai ampang pun malam ler.. udah katanya bapaknya nak amik kejap...

isnin 15hb aku anto bdk2 ke SP... boo balik pun aku tak pi amik derang sebab xmo kaco dia penat, malam tu pun kitorang pi opis betuikan pc so tak dan nak bawak derang..

selasa 16hb masih tak amik budak2 lagi pasai pa tah aku tak hengat.. hehe..

rabu 17hb boo dah rindu dengan budak2.. aku koling papa cakap nak amik tapi papa bitau yg bapak dia nak amik dah sebab nak bawak gi beli baju.. aku cakap haikkk kata jumaat lepas dah amik. papa cakap takde dia kensel sebab banyak keje katanya. pukul 6ptg aku koling lagi tanya udah amik ke belum. dia cakap xde koling2 pun senyap je.. pehtu aku maleh nk rebut2 aku cakap hokehla hapa leh wat aku pun x amik la.. pukul 8pm elok aku baru nak parking kat umah, papa kol tanya nape tak amik... lerrr kata paknya nak amik.. aku tak mai laa.. pehtu time pun dah kol 8pm.. memang la aku dgn boo rindu dgn budak2 tu tapi dah lewat, sok pagi kena anto sp balik. nak pusing pi SP lik adeh x larat ler.. so depa tido SP lagi...

khamis 18hb budak2 dah diamik tengahari. pehtu papa kol mula nak ceta kesian kat bdk2 tu.. kakak memula excited nak pegi beli baju tapi bapak dia marah cakap "ah, tak payah beli baju. baju dah banyak.." terkulat2 la muka budak tu.... pehtu papa tanya "dik, awak takmo ke menghadiri kenduri ni. ada kad ni." bha ha ha siap jemput tu... aku ckp tau la aku dulu tadak bagi kad ke hapa ke... perli la tu... papa pun gelak2 sinis je.. elok aku tanya who's the unlucky bride, tepon dia mati ler pulok... oleh kerana takmo tunjuk yg aku hardup sgt nak tau aku pun maleh ler nak kol... ngeh3x..

jumaat 19hb aku terjaga kol 3 takleh tido sampai kol 5. bila tdo tu siap leh termimpi2 aku menengok kad jemputan tu dan nama yg terpampang adalah "tini". yg peliknya nama pendek centu je.. hahaha tak lojik sungguh... pehtu tengahari papa kol tanya pasal mende len.. aku pun mengambil kesempatan tanya la soklan cepumas yg tak kesampaian sebelum tu.. papa cakap nama dia "michelle". huh? cina mana pulok doh ni? pehtu papa cakap jap2 dia amik kad.. pehtu dia baca "michelle mastini".. *pause* tapi nama michelle tu takde ler..... cehhhhh org tua ni wat lawak ari jumaat lak... jadi betuila dia kawen dengan pompuan yg sama.... aku cakap fuyoo lama tu tunggu.. dari org tu bujang, dah kawen, bercerai, sangggupppppp lagi tunggu.... pehtu papa jawab "yerrrrr laaaa... sapa suh awak menghalang perhubungan derang..." hahhaha ayat xleh blah....

ahad 21hb... aku kol papa kol 9pm tanya bdk2 dah sampai ke papa ckp belum.. ain, sepupu derang kata besok nanti papa anto ke skola..

senin 22hb... pagi papa kol ckp budak2 sampai lewat kol 12am... tu masih terbongkang lagik.. takyah la pi skola cuti je... aku ckp ok.... papa ckp dia tanya iman, iman best ke dapat mak baru.. iman jawab "manade iman dapat mak baru... tu auntie laaa.. auntie yg lama tuuu.. xde la mak baru...." pehtu bila ditanya pasal ayah dia kawen dia ckp "ayah kawen satu je laaa... manade ayah kawen banyak... besok2 ayah kawen la banyak.. aritu ayah kawen satu je.." bha ha ha ha tah mana dia dapat idea tah jawab centu..

ptg kol 6.20pm kakak kol ckp ummi amik la cepat... kakak nak jumpa ummi... iman pun nak jumpa... sampai kat SP, semuanya dalam keadaan normal... aku masuk la duduk bersila jap... kakak mai labuh kepala kat peha... dia celoteh la mcm2.... tetiba iman mai duduk kat peha, ngadap aku pehtu peluk leher... memula dia dok cakap iman takmo ikut ummi, iman nak ikut ta.. nanti ta nak cari duit banyak2 beli kete iman.. klu iman takde nanti mami (mak aku) main kete iman cemana? hahahhaha klako la budak ni.. itu yg dirisaukan...

pehtu out of sudden, iman peluk lagi leher aku n dia stat nangis... kakak yg baring pun nangis sama... dia ckp kakak rindu ummi sangat2... kakak syg ummi.... aku tak tau la nak describe cemana... sebelum ni pun ada gak lebih seminggu derang tak jumpa aku tapi the sadness tu wasnt like this... it makes me wonder what happened to them... did someone hurt their feelings masa kat sana? they look so sad.. especially iman laa sebab sebelum ni dia paling kontrol macho bab2 feeling2 ni... masa aku kawen derang takde sedih macam ni pulak...

masa dalam kete nak balik tu aku tanya derang ayah belikan baju tak? derang cakap tak. pehtu memula derang nak backing gak cakap nanti ayah belikan laa ayah takde duit.. pehtu aku tanya habis kenapa masa ummi kawen ummi belikan kakak baju baru, iman baju baru... nape masa ayah kawen ayah tak belikan pulak? kakak dah diam... iman still nak menang lagi tu cakap alaa tu kawen sikit jeee... nanti kawen besar nanti ayah belikan laa.. ayah dah tak duduk kg ayah lagi.. ayah dah masuk umah auntie.. pehtu kakak jawab "entahla ummi, kakak pun tak boleh jawab." aduhhhh... matang sungguh jawapan dia.. huhuhuhu.... iman plak trus cakap "aduuhhhh sakitnya tangan iman ni ummi... tangan iman masuk angin." cehhhhhhhhhhhh.... pe kaitan tah budak ni....

pehtu aku takde tanya pape lagi dah... jelas nampak derang terasa hati.. i dono wat happen, i don want to ask and i know they wont talk... altho i know its a good thing bapak derang sikit demi sikit dah mula tunjuk tak peduli kat derang... but its just hurts me to see them being hurt... kesimpulan yg aku buat ialah... bila takde rasa tanggungjawab (ie dari segi nafkah dsbg, maka kasih sayang pun dengan mudahnya datang dan pergi semau hati)..

all in all, syukur alhamdulillah sgt2 we have boo in our life... to take up the resposibility as head of the family, and to be the role figure for the kids especially iman.. i'll be forever indebted to him.... huhuhuhu.. srotttttttttt.......