i love women.
i could fall in love in a matter of minutes with some. this weekend, i fell in love with one, "lydia." she was just the perfect height, 5'6". she had the perfect smile, the type of smile that shows off all her teeth. a great body, beautiful and shinny skin that captures all ambient lighting and reflects them from the perfect curves on her body.
we spoke,
we compared our skin by pressing our forearms to each other,
we looked deeply into each other's eyes,
we imagined what it would be like to kiss.
we pressed our lips,
noses to cheeks,
lips to necks,
hands in hair, on necks, backs, hips,
the intimacy removed any clothing.
when i left her in the morning, we did not get one bit of sleep the whole night. i stood over her, and tried my best to capture what she looked like in my mind. i'm leaving and i'll never see her again. she offered me her phone number, but i think i allowed my face to betray her.
she knew i wouldn't call.
i wasn't a Gemini, i wasn't born close to midnight, i didn't want to leave everything behind and start over somewhere far away, i had a great girlfriend in high school, and would very much doubt that i would have asked her to winter formal.
those words i spoke at the beginning betrayed my emotions. i need to tell her how good it is to see her again, how much i have missed her, but those lies.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Curveballs
Events in most of our lives constantly throws us off balance.
One recent event that lead to where I am now is my father losing his job. My parents are having a tough time financially. I have to help them, because if i do not, no one will. I will not stand around to witness them suffer.
This event has really impacted my desire to better my love life. To me, that objective takes a backseat to my family. The impact of the event is felt in my inner game. I had been on a quest to improve myself. It was necessary after many years of procrastination. I like many other men, didn't take the advice to make the most of our youth seriously enough (i.e. youth is wasted on the young). My motivation to improve has taken quite the downturn in the past few weeks. I'll bounce back, but this is just a reminder of the impact of procrastinating.
It is disheartening to know that the world will leave you behind once you are older and unable to keep up with the demands of society. We too can lose our jobs when we're older, when our certain skills become obsolete.
I don't know where this will lead my family, but hopefully we'll find a way out of this. The primary objective now is to find new economic opportunities in all situations that I encounter.
One recent event that lead to where I am now is my father losing his job. My parents are having a tough time financially. I have to help them, because if i do not, no one will. I will not stand around to witness them suffer.
This event has really impacted my desire to better my love life. To me, that objective takes a backseat to my family. The impact of the event is felt in my inner game. I had been on a quest to improve myself. It was necessary after many years of procrastination. I like many other men, didn't take the advice to make the most of our youth seriously enough (i.e. youth is wasted on the young). My motivation to improve has taken quite the downturn in the past few weeks. I'll bounce back, but this is just a reminder of the impact of procrastinating.
It is disheartening to know that the world will leave you behind once you are older and unable to keep up with the demands of society. We too can lose our jobs when we're older, when our certain skills become obsolete.
I don't know where this will lead my family, but hopefully we'll find a way out of this. The primary objective now is to find new economic opportunities in all situations that I encounter.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)