i'm not going out this weekend. i have a cold.
that's not really the main reason. i want more me time so that i can rest and workout. i want to improve my health.
i have been smoking since i was 16. i'm now in my early 30's.
in my 14-25 years, i was an avid workoutholic. i was built quite durably. it was a very simple way of getting attention and helped out lots on my inner game/confidence.
it wasn't until i got hooked on a stupid morpg did i stop working out. those 2.5 years spent on it reduced me to being very weak. i hate it.
i use to pride myself on my endurance. i could push out more pushups, run a bit more, and throw a bit further than my friends. now i suck. got full mounted and strangled last time i wrestled. eww, it's going to be on my mind forever.
have to be strong, fast and smart.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
some r&r
nothing new to report. past two weeks have been "me" time. it might be my laziness at work, but i'm reading some books that interest me. the most interesting of them, "age of turbulence" by alan greenspan.
he's for sure an alpha male in discrete packaging.
i grew up wanting to be just like him. a rennisance man of sorts. being academic and musically talented. both require work and long hours fueled by passion.
i'm trying to find my passion.
what is it that i would love to do?
the other book i'm reading is the definitive book on body language. it's really good. i like it because it adds a new element to my life. to be conscious of body language. previously, i focused on listening to people and only subconsciously acknowledging body language.
but now, i'm going to try to observe the interaction from the big picture to the small picture.
it starts with observing the environment. what are people here for? what's the temperature? how many people are around? who is around? why is this person here? what are they wearing? how are they standing? where are their feets posistioned? what are their arms doing? what are their hands doing? what does their expression say? what do their eyes show?
is it all congruent to their words? are they vibing well? is it IOI? is it IOD? are they qualifing? are they hooked? am i bringing out emotions? am i on an energy level the same or slightly higher than them. am i speaking loud enough, slow, or clear enough? is my micro calibration on or off?
to simplify the above two paragraphs, am I trying to develope a higher level of interaction. I have to train my mind to make all those calculations and others that may appear.
I was hanging out with a natural for the last two weekends, and it seems that they out of habit observe most of the questions out of habit.
i am socially awkward, so i have to develop them.
he's for sure an alpha male in discrete packaging.
i grew up wanting to be just like him. a rennisance man of sorts. being academic and musically talented. both require work and long hours fueled by passion.
i'm trying to find my passion.
what is it that i would love to do?
the other book i'm reading is the definitive book on body language. it's really good. i like it because it adds a new element to my life. to be conscious of body language. previously, i focused on listening to people and only subconsciously acknowledging body language.
but now, i'm going to try to observe the interaction from the big picture to the small picture.
it starts with observing the environment. what are people here for? what's the temperature? how many people are around? who is around? why is this person here? what are they wearing? how are they standing? where are their feets posistioned? what are their arms doing? what are their hands doing? what does their expression say? what do their eyes show?
is it all congruent to their words? are they vibing well? is it IOI? is it IOD? are they qualifing? are they hooked? am i bringing out emotions? am i on an energy level the same or slightly higher than them. am i speaking loud enough, slow, or clear enough? is my micro calibration on or off?
to simplify the above two paragraphs, am I trying to develope a higher level of interaction. I have to train my mind to make all those calculations and others that may appear.
I was hanging out with a natural for the last two weekends, and it seems that they out of habit observe most of the questions out of habit.
i am socially awkward, so i have to develop them.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
dance floor
statement: i'm not an agile person.
friday night, local club, on the dance floor with two girls. dark room with slow flashing light. other dancing bodies around us to create a private dance floor. the other people create rhythmic walls encompassing my private dance space. it was fun. like being in my old party state once again.
it has been years since i have had fun on the dance floor. two girls one guy. made it work just like any other activity. engaged one, encourage her to integrate the other, move on to the other but with a little more intimacy/sexiness. more direct eye contact, eye body, more suggestive body movements, and bring the other girl back in to the mix. push and pull once again, rinse repeat.
get the girls to have fun with you, to want to take turns being close to you.
then, take a step back, set the moves on autopilot.
i took a good look as i turned in a circle. sure as heck, other girls who made up the wall to my dance floor became shy spectators. i had a great time.
friday night, local club, on the dance floor with two girls. dark room with slow flashing light. other dancing bodies around us to create a private dance floor. the other people create rhythmic walls encompassing my private dance space. it was fun. like being in my old party state once again.
it has been years since i have had fun on the dance floor. two girls one guy. made it work just like any other activity. engaged one, encourage her to integrate the other, move on to the other but with a little more intimacy/sexiness. more direct eye contact, eye body, more suggestive body movements, and bring the other girl back in to the mix. push and pull once again, rinse repeat.
get the girls to have fun with you, to want to take turns being close to you.
then, take a step back, set the moves on autopilot.
i took a good look as i turned in a circle. sure as heck, other girls who made up the wall to my dance floor became shy spectators. i had a great time.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Past Weekend
this weekend was incredibly tiring. friday night, stayed out until 4. saturday night out til 4. superbowl party, numerous shots and mixed drinks.
so here i am, monday morning hungover from too much partying. friday night, had dinner with friends and took a break from gaming, because i felt the previous thursday night's experience called for a break. what happened thurs, was AA got all over me. so for friday, i wanted to reconnect with friends and just drink a shitload and relax.
saturday was fantastic. I had the energy and the motivation to go game again, i hooked my first 8.5-9 hb on the field. i loved how she would eye me as i moved through the room. it started with me winning over her obstacle friend (7.5-8) within two minutes of talking to her. opener neg, one dhv, and neg again. that's all the work i had to do on the obstacle, then i point to my target and say, "are you just going to stand there and let your buddy behave like that?" she qualifies herself, i SOI her, she tells me her name and asks for mine. i tell her a story about a friend that involved love, breakups, and finding love again and again and again. she's got that look and is puddy in my hand. the fun!
i need a break from the insanity of the night game. what makes night game so appealling is that the women are use to men approaching and i don't feel awkward about running my game on them. they're kinda buzzed from the booze as is, and in a social state. is it obvious that i'm about to talk about transitioning to day game?
i'm going to run day game when my nervous tendencies will be spotted by women who haven't had a thing to drink. they are going to be able to tell that i'm nervous from a mile away, but i don't care. it's going to help me become a more social being no matter what the time of day is and overcome the aa i still get.
body language, facial expression, and vocal presentation is going to be key. i already have a shitload of material, and making things up on the fly isn't going to be a problem.
so here i am, monday morning hungover from too much partying. friday night, had dinner with friends and took a break from gaming, because i felt the previous thursday night's experience called for a break. what happened thurs, was AA got all over me. so for friday, i wanted to reconnect with friends and just drink a shitload and relax.
saturday was fantastic. I had the energy and the motivation to go game again, i hooked my first 8.5-9 hb on the field. i loved how she would eye me as i moved through the room. it started with me winning over her obstacle friend (7.5-8) within two minutes of talking to her. opener neg, one dhv, and neg again. that's all the work i had to do on the obstacle, then i point to my target and say, "are you just going to stand there and let your buddy behave like that?" she qualifies herself, i SOI her, she tells me her name and asks for mine. i tell her a story about a friend that involved love, breakups, and finding love again and again and again. she's got that look and is puddy in my hand. the fun!
i need a break from the insanity of the night game. what makes night game so appealling is that the women are use to men approaching and i don't feel awkward about running my game on them. they're kinda buzzed from the booze as is, and in a social state. is it obvious that i'm about to talk about transitioning to day game?
i'm going to run day game when my nervous tendencies will be spotted by women who haven't had a thing to drink. they are going to be able to tell that i'm nervous from a mile away, but i don't care. it's going to help me become a more social being no matter what the time of day is and overcome the aa i still get.
body language, facial expression, and vocal presentation is going to be key. i already have a shitload of material, and making things up on the fly isn't going to be a problem.
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