Bundle of Joy

Our bundle of Joy!! Indeed, it has been long time since i last blogged. But as i return and revisited the blog, i am reminded of the days when we first gazed at Rania. It has been about 14 months now. Every time I look at her, my heart is drawn to her. She has become such an incredible, unimaginable blessing to Rhema and me. Yohanen has been a remarkable boy, a blessing indeed from the Lord. Can't tell you how often I felt like being ministered by the Lord through our dear son. Together...Rania and Yohanen are really God's wonderful blessing for Rhema and me. Thank You Jesus, for blessing Rhema and me with Yohanen and Rania. We can't for anything more than this. You always give us the very best!

The Wait

Today has been a day filled with "waiting." Baby Rania is still in hospital with treatment given her for jaundice. Not sure whether she'll be discharged tomorrow or not. Need to call hospital tomorrow and find out. In the meantime, the biological mother has been discharged. She is back home. I was shocked to know that the baby is alone in the ward. Called the hospital just now to find out whether one of us can stay over night with Rania, but our requested was denied. We just have to wait and leave things in the hands of God. Trusting that there are things in Rania's life that only God and God only can do. I'm still waiting and seeking the Lord for His good, pleasing and perfect will to be done in all our lives.
Tomorrow in Church we have the launching of our first lesson in the study, "Experiencing God." I need to finish my responsibilities first before going over the hospital.
This coming week, things are going to be difference. Once again, if this matter materializes, our lives will never be the same. With Yohanen, things just naturally happened. Circumstances are a bit different now with Rania. I guess, every child and situation would be different. I am just asking the Lord to walk with us - one step at a time, every step along the way.
Lord, there are so many things ahead of us, and many things which is beyond me. I look to You for Your Presence and guidance. Thank You that You have been sovereignty at work in Rania's life. Her birth and the events that has happened thus far has helped me to see that You are fully in control. I lay down my will and desire before You once again; let Your good will and purposes be carried out in her life.

Song of God!

Most amazing experience i had today was to hold the baby in my arms. I felt connected! It is the feeling that I had when i held Yohanen in my arms. As I saw the baby laying on the transparent container, I felt that's really a very cruel thing to do....to leave the baby all along, by itself. I wished I could bring our 'song of God,' Rania, back home tonight, so that she could sleep in our arms. But, that is something beyond me at this point of time. Just to carry the child for a few minutes was an act of grace on the part of the staff.
The world we live in can be a cruel world. People can go on living without thinking about the other person. Sometimes, people can become so numb that it no longer moves them any more. In the midst of all these, I can hear Jesus' words: 'you give them something to eat' (Mark 14:16). Jesus really cares for every new born child. Maybe today there can be some people out there who would bring some warmth into a cold world. Ultimately, such experiences changes us most.
Thank You Jesus for the beautiful work that you have begun to do once again in our lives. We stand amazed at the miracle of new life and for the bundle of joy that you give us. Thank You for entrusting 'your song' into our lives. We pray that some day that song will produce melodies and worship that will move Your heart.

"ex nihilo"

The latin word "ex nihilo" which means out of nothing refers to God's creative act of creating the universe out of nothing.
Have you ever wondered what is the value of "nothing"? Maybe for humanity nothing means useless, meaningless....disposable. But not so with God. In fact, nothing is the very thing that is needed for God to do something significant.
Why should Moses spend forty years in the wilderness? Shouldn't his gifted leadership skills be better used in the city rather than 'wasting' away in the desert? What was so significant about the desert? Everyday is the same: boring, monotonous and...yes, you got it "nothing". But what was God doing in Moses' life in these 40 years? Why wasn't God showing Himself to be 'great' and 'mighty'. In fact, Moses would have thought God had disappeared from the scene.
As we reflect on Moses' life, we begin to discover that those forty years in the desert is an essential part of God's preparation. Maybe, an important part of that work of God in Moses' life is for him to come into terms with the truth of who he was on his own: nothing.
Pastor Susan Tang in her book, 'remain hidden' talks about how God kept our Lord Jesus "hidden" for the first thirty years of his life. It is no surprise then for us to hear what our Lord said in John 5:19, "the son can do nothing by himself."
Unless we become empty, God can not fill us. Unless we realise our true nature, apart from God - nothing, God can do so little with our lives. But, how do we come to that place where we discover the truth and reality of our lives?

Dark night of the Soul

I have been praying through for an answer from God. There is a certain situation where a decision needs to be made and i am not sure how to respond. After many days of praying (for about a month), God seemed to be silent. I am worried of making a mistake....
Yesterday, after a time of laying down the matter to God once again, a sudden revelation came to me. The theme, "dark night of the soul" came to mind. As i pondered further, I remembered a certain comment made by one of our Jeremiah School students a few years ago. When you go through 'the dark night', remember God is so close to you that you will not be able to see anything. Only one thing you need to know, "God is here"...
This morning when i did my devotion, God spoke to Micah 7:8,"when I sit in darkness the Lord shall be a light unto me." The Lord reminded me that it is all the more important for me to respond in the right way in a hour like this. Characters are forged and built in the little decisions we make daily. Just want to thank God for a glimpse of light in a time like this. Praise be the name of the Lord!

Myanmar Mission Trip

As some of you might know, I had the priviliege of attending a Mission trip to Myanmar from April 13 - 17. This was a five days trip, made of three Pastors and two members. The trip was amazing because I felt the experience of partnering with God in the things that He was doing in Mynamar. Rev. Jonathan from TAC, Rev. George from Urganda and I had the opportunity of sharing God's hearts with the youths in this wonderful land. Our journey involved twelve hours bus ride to a city south of Yangon. We ministered to a group of about one hundred youths in a Summer Camp. Rev. Jonathan shared about commitment, George shared about the Holy Spirit, and i talked about Intercession. One word that God gave during our times of prayer prior to the camp is "breakthrough." Indeed, this was what God accomplished in the camp: a breakthrough - conversion of the mind, heart and spirit to follow God. Towards the end of the camp, the Holy Spirit ministered powerfully to the youths. Many experienced a touch from God and felt under the power of the Holy Spirit. Personally, it was a significant for me to meet up with old friends and to bring the challenge to raise intercessors in this land once again. As far as I can see, the spiritual atmosphere must be addressed first by the people of God before the physical breakthrough can come into this land. Seeing children begging in the streets, poor people sleeping on railway station paveway, aimless youths partying away without any regard for God broke our hearts and reminded us of the urgency of the gospel. 'Thank You Jesus for giving me an opportunity to share in the things that close to your heart. Here I am; please continue using me and others in the work of sharing the gospel with those who are yet to believe in You.'

TRAC Prayer Conference 2009

"A breath of fresh air", "refreshed, renewed, inspired, compelled, convicted, energized, empowered to pray". These are some words I can think of to described the recent TRAC Prayer Conference, which was held at Olympic Hotel, KL. Pastor Julius Suubi from Kenya was the main speaker. I felt so encouraged and not to mentioned ministered. The Lord's Presence was so strongly felt. Even before the Conference began, I sensed God saying that this conference is His Work. How I have longed for the time when we would experience 'work done by the hands of God.' In Jesus' words, "the finger of God." The Lord has been showing me that it is important to be exposed to 'seasoned prayer warriors' if we want to grow deeper in our prayer life. It is one thing to talk about prayer. What we need now is to learn from men of prayer. Like Jesus' disciples who came to Jesus and invited him to teach them about prayer. Julius was such a person. He would go on days fasting, praying, waiting upon the Lord. At the same time, it is important that the focus and emphasis shouldn't be in any one man. This is the work of God and i am grateful for people like Julius who have gone through the process of "consecration"; such people God will use. (This is another Word i felt the Lord laying in my heart. If we consecrate ourselves to the Lord's work, God will use us greatly. But there is a cost to pay. Mark Goodwin once made this remark). Today, i just want to give God the glory. He has seen our hunger and driesness, especially in our prayer life. I say this for myself. I must confess that I know much about prayer, but still struggle hard to have a consistant prayer life. At the end of everything, what is important after this Conference for me is to develop a consistent life of prayer, led by the Holy Spirit. May God grant grace for His servant to do so.