reflections
In the shoes of my senseis'
The first day i was transferred to balestier hill secondary school to teach chemistry, i was told that i am given 6 classes to teach, 40 "guas" per class. Which easily makes up to about 200 students, which also means 200 homework to mark, 200 students to chase/teach. Through this, i saw the beauty of teaching, and the ugly parts too.
-Giving up
On the first two days, i had 4 hours of lessons on the first day, and 6 hours on the second day. Now the first thing everyone has to understand that balestier hill sec's acronym is BHS, which also stands for Bloody Horrible School. Ironically, its the school that i graduated from. Just to brief you, everyday would see afew stealing cases, smoking cases and fights, and maybe 1 or 2 will be expelled A WEEK! (im exaggerating, but its close). I have 2 express classes to teach, the bottom two lol, and 3 normal academic classes and 1 normal technical class. The first day i had two of my NA classes and one E class. Back to back. Stepping into class, half the class was outside/half inside, of those inside, half were sleeping and the rest either participating or spectating a fight, i forgot cheering. The next class was no different, so i took extremely long time and all my voice quota to get them organised, by the second period, my throat was painful. Now i know what it means by :" you won't understand until you experience it". My last class was a bliss, it was the second best Express class, the students there....are human...as in...they are civilised. The normal technical class, half were special students, special as in autistic or hearing impaired or mentally unstable, teaching was impossible but to fulfil a requirement, i was instructed to give them enough to show their parents that they come to school for a reason. On the first two days alone, i already know that half of the lot will not make it. I wanted to quit and give up. But after school, a student looked for me, to ask me a question, he wasn't a nerd or a weirdo but a normal genuine STUDENT!! Wow, that was enough to keep me staying.
I realised that the teachers put in so much effort, stay in the career and shout at students, all to benefit the few who really desire to learn, perhaps efficiency is 1% but its worth it.
-Age gap
"Teacher teacher! you how old?" asked every class that i go to. "Im currently 18"...."WAH!! same!!!" Well some students are really my age, either foreigners or some other reasons. Im 18 and im teaching 15/16 year olds and i feel as if nothing but their size has changed since i taught p3s at nanyang pri.
"Teacher teacher! *** *** like you leh." i figured young male teachers faced a high risk of being preyed upon by female students. HOWEVER! i maintain a strict distance between myself and the students.
-Homework
I finally understood where greenhouse gases that cause global warming come from. It isn't from china nor US, neither is it the factories and industries. It is balestier hill students, i print an average of 3 copies per student as the first two are either, 1.Lost 2."teacher didn't give" 3."never receive". At the workplace, i am extremely particular about saving paper, i try my very best to have all my worksheets and homework printed on ONE sheet of paper. I would like to quote a situation, in this school all the Common tests has a component called assignment marks, which is a certain percentage of the exam, to "entice" students to hand in their work. When i mark work, i really scrutinise every mistake, give alot of comments and do their corrections, i literally write more than they do, even for those who copied. and this one boy who handed in late said:"teacher got assignment mark not? I said i will mark yours on equal grounds as others, i will give comments and feedback but NO assignment marks for late work, his reply was, then do for what?
What do you do when you have half the class copying homework from each other? What do you do when pupils submit blank worksheets because all they know is that they must pass up, what they must pass up is not known, so they just hand in whatever they have, im getting chinese and other subject's homework.=.=
Im tired of this, but i will commit till the rest of my verbal contract.
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My sister has been staying in her school's hostel for some time already(NJC), and after awhile, i realised that its kinda sad being an only child, while she was away, i got to know what being an only child is like, i spend the entire afternoon talking to no one and when i open my mouth to say hi to my parents who came back its the same feeling as when i wake up to yawn. Hmm....but now my cousin is staying with me, in my room, hes sec 1 and hes quite a nice boy except hes quite silly.
He doesn't do his homework but gets A for exams, he keeps saying hes fat but he keeps eating alot of snacks, and he says that he is lactose-intolerant but can eat chocolate,ice-cream, chocolate milk etc etc.
time to sleep. ah! it started raining.
Lame comment of the day: My dog has such a short attention span, but its still longer than some of my students.
I love this game but i don't play it lol.
~datahush vi britannia commands..
9:59 PM
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
New job!
New job, no time to blog, no time to gym.
~datahush vi britannia commands..
5:27 PM
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Vday Special: My nonsensical insights.
Wow, today was HOT MAN!! not because love is in the air..but because of global warming. Ah wait...i needa answer nature's call...opps wrong number!~ guess my bladder had a secret storage warehouse. Now then, while everyone is out..either with friends or with boy/girl/gay friends, i am here at home..resting, rotting and relieving my boredom with my msn buddies whom also got rejected by their valentines. Ouch that hit the spot. Now then did you know that Valentines day was only a recent event? Meaning its not like chrismas which has been around for the past 2009 years...2008 if you don't count the year jesus was crucified. Wow chrismas is old, and santa claus musta been born the year jesus died. Ok back to the point, Valentines day...along with mother's/father's/dog's/ex-girlfriends day(potentially commercial) were started by.......(drum roll).....BUSINESSMEN!! yes that right..the florist..the cards manufacturer..the chocolates companies..all came up with a buncha days and events a year to give reason for consumers to spend, now not that its anything bad, but to those who take Valentines day very seriously(im referring to someone ahem), its just another saturday! tweaked by 90 ranking-pointed business people whom are tops in marketing strategies. get it?
okok fine..thats my consolation for not having a date LOL. Well it not meeeee..i booked people late..!! okok fine..nobody booked me..okok fine..everyone i attempted to book sounded more un-interested than busy.. HOHO~..we've got many long noses today. Besides, i don't feel comfortable going out with a normal female friend alone when everywhere in singapore on the 14th of feburary is the rooftop of Esplanade. if you don't get it, good for you! Half my circle of friends have exams, 1quater are working, and 1 quater HATE ME lol. jkin. boohoo i miss my boyfriend swee swee, xiao pig you theif!
The other day i went out with sec sch friends, love it. Why? cause we're all the same, single, woot. With half of JC friends attached and the other half emoing at home(you know who you are), its no wonder im losing friends. Quote from a classmate :" as happy as we are for them, kinda feels like we're losing friends one by one." Initially when they were the minority it seems bad cause they miss out on social life but now that the trend is reversed. oh crap!, the inferior goods of the 1990 delivery has shone itself, noooo i duwann stand in front!!! Heres a strange phenomenon: When 10 of us, sec sch friends, were sitting in a round table and chatting, someone asked you all attached nt? one by one they said no, and when i said no, some of them were shocked, huh! darren i tot u have. After some explanation i understood that i got the "aura" whether its good or bad depends on your perception but i take it as bad. 50% of my mind is constantly reminding me of the social problem in singapore, which isn't a problem for those of my kind.
As much well wishes i give to my fellow male counterparts with their worlds tied to a female, i would also like to enlighten you. After surveying several females my age, and older. I get it, i got it.....im never gna forget it.~ lala~ Here the situation, i was chatting with my colleague from SAJC the other day, and she ask me, hey why some guys just don't want to find gf after alevels?(cause shes the pretty bgr kind) i was like, oh man, these are the smart guys man...don't mess with them, they have...FORE-SIGHT. After some discussion she finally realised why, i told her, lets say we're tgt, and when you go to uni, im going to NS. You'll meet guys, OLDER, SMARTER, MORE MATURE, FITTER, NICER, WISER, RICHER, BETTER IN EVERY WAY than some botak guy doing push-ups in pulau tekong. Now the catch is...ur not married...so technically...its time to upgrade. Upgrade from Windows XP to Windows Vista. Now XP is gna really be Xtra Poignant but do you care? Vista is cheaper and better. Woot, and has hair.~
Well i do know for sure..there will be those..who stay...and brave thr the years of separation and despair LOL, such as swee lol, maybe. Anyway, i get the feeling that someones gna flame me very soon but before anyone says it, im gna DEFEND MYSELF!!! I stand by my first paragraph and i can't wait to go NS. Thats good enough. woot. Ah choo, sniff sniff* im still sick, im still having the same darn flu and flegm since prom night, even after seeing western doctor and chinese doctor TWICE. Thats one hell of a flu. Speaking of which, one of my friends has a female maltese, and suggested pairing her up with my male maltese Toto(not the toliet brand) up for a date. I thought it was a good idea until i saw my dog humping the chair...hmm....i don't tink my friend's dog can fight off my dog who probably is gna rape someone. Horny toto. We're thinking of castrating him, such that he will be TAI JIAN dog. But duwan so cruel la.
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Not to be anti climax but a friend in australia told me that the fire storm moved at 100km/h and that you cannot out-run it by car...so he was driving a sports car on the free way and saw other slower cars getting burnt and exploded by the flames..scary..just thinkg about it, if that happened in singapore we'd be gone in less than half an hour cause singapore only is 42km long and the fire spreads at 100km/h.
Im starting relief teaching next monday!! woot! that means that i'll be teaching chemistry in Balestier Hill Sec Sch for 1 month. I hope none of my students find my blog or else they gna treat me like their friend lol. That also means that i'll be quitting my current job and my colleague EXPECTS a goodbye gift. Thankfully i don't have to crack my head over what to give.
"you're weird", " i can't talk to you about certain topics", " errrr ok". As much as these sound normal, they hurt me like crap. Personally im someone who can adapt and interact very well, i can talk to almost everyone about anything, i will adapt and change to their frequency. But for X i can't. Im always weird and i always try my vvery very best to be normal and adapt to X but X still finds me weird. When i ask why X just says that X can't explain, its just weird. Ive never had this problem with anyone before, and on normal circumstances id just ignore that person. But X is different, i wanna talk with X and not just be some other guy, some other person to X. Perhaps i should try harder?or take it easier? neither way works, as much as X says to take things easy, i did...for while. X was right when X said"you got so lousy not.." yes got...got so lousy..just slow to realise. At least...until my prediction comes true, never stop your bed time stories.
Today's events in summary:
-wake up late
-breakfast late
-msn
-Treated mom to lunch
-get parcel
-dog
-piano
-dinner
Please watch and enjoy the following.
Lame comment of the day: Valentine's Day is also referred to as "Singles Awareness Day."
~datahush vi britannia commands..
3:52 PM
Friday, February 6, 2009
Ah please, go get a room..
Over these few weeks of Chinese new year...in terms of gambling revenue, ive lost.....i LOST!! a GRAND TOTAL OF....80cents.~ this may not sound like alot...but it IS alot when you bet in the cents, meaning 1 cent for 1 tai in mahjong. That could either mean i suck or im just plain unlucky. Other than that, CNY was enjoyable, the usual visiting and while red packet collection might perhaps be on the top of the appreciation list in cny for others, it isn't for me, not for any noble reason but simply because my revenue isn't anything to boast about. If im lucky, i hit 3 digits. Not everyone has 4 grandparents to open a grandchild bank account..Not 12 hours ago in one of the "GIFTED" classes i taught, a boy told me that he got (in words) Five Thousand Six hundred and Twenty Eight dollars for chinese new year. Initially i was shocked but when i asked who gave it to him, he said 1k each from each grandparent, 500 each from each parent, and the rest from relatives...ahh..i see so what did you do with the money? "i bought 10 maple story cash cards" as cute as he was, i didn't ask furthur. SIT DOWN!!! time to start class. Today the most hilarious thing that happened was, in the compputer lab. Now for the kids to sign into windows they have to press control-alt -delete to go to the login page. Some of these really really deprived children..don't know whats control-alternate-delete. I mean finding the keys wasn't the problem, it was pressing them in order. there are 3 factorial ways to press it so it took quite awhile.
Everymorning, i will take a bus from newton mrt and take another bus from there to nanyang pri. That busstop, is like china town square during chinese new year eve every morning at 7am. Except that its filled with students. Not that i have any problems with that, but im in working clothes man. I feel so old..i feel like im out of the gen-Y which all gen-Xs claim we are. Ok thats not the problem. There is a couple, in NJC school uniform, kissing and cuddling every morning at the bus stop, IN FRONT OF STUDENTS from...HCI, SCGS, ACS, ST Marg, Nanyang, and afew more. Now i am not exaggerating here. I could feel the discomfort of those around me at that sight, i believe its called..PDA or something(girls term it im not sure). At those moments i feel so ashamed that my sister is in NJC, and two, i feel embarassed FOR THEM. Oh well, youngsters are becoming more liberal(though im probably their age LOL).
Stopping at the bus-stop before coronation plaza, i got down and started my walk into the housing estate of bungalows and mansions. Its strange why Nanyang Pri is in the middle of a large estate of expensive homes. Perhaps these owners paid to built it=x. The walk in is peaceful by itself...i see many strange things. For one, each home was large, nicely designed, and had much greenery, almost every house hold planted flowers and trees and left it to their maids to take care of them. A home, had a large metal gate, with a large sign hung on it that says, BEWARE OF DOG! and shows a picture scary black german shepard. Being a dog lover, i took a peek inside to see where the dog was, it wasn't there. Hmm thats strange, maybe its in the house, i thought to myself. So i carried on walking and RIGHT beside that home there was a LARGE labrador at the fence of the neighbour's home barking at me. i got the shock of the day. Well probably the name of the sign should be changed to " BEWARE OF NEIGHBOUR'S DOG<------"
Afew home down the row, i saw another strange object, it was a CISCO alarm. Attached onto the wall of a home, it serves as a detterent to potential burgurlers who might wanna break in. It looked sophisticated and had wires all over. On the exterior it says(not exactly but the idea is there): chain alarm system. Which i presume means that if a home is broken into, all the alarms will off together, not just the alarm of one home, this will frighten the burgurler and scare him off. Wow, i thought to myself, why didn't anyone think of having a chain alarm system up till now? this is a great idea. hmm...hey wait a minute.....thats when i realised that it wasn't sucha great idea after all. If i were to break into a home...and the alarm goes off, along with EVERY ALARM IN THE GOD DAMM BIGG ASS ESTATE, then how would the police know which home am i robbing? So i can take my time and have the good guys find me. This is all my imagination but i guess chain alarm system probably means that its connected to the police station and when the alarm goes off the police would know immediately.
Afew days ago, i visit a friend with afew more others. She had a really cute and demure female dog called jacqueline. Seeing that it was quite attention deprived, i sat down with it and she jumped onto my lap and lied down. I gently stroked jacqueline for awhile when i was wondering why someone would name a dog such a long and humanly name? Should it be chang chang, dong dong, ding ding, bang bang, lulu, mumu or something along the line? So i asked her owner, and it turns out that she was 4 years old and the owner explained that she was in sec sch and had an arch enemy, the enemy's name was jacquelin and thus, when she bought her dog she decided to name it after her enemy so that she can call: " Jacquelin the Bitch". In literal sense.
Someone reminded me that Vday is coming, and its the time to send and receive gifts, ok the latter prob not HAH. I used to send flowers at least...to a certain someone once a year, but i guess i'll be stopping this year. I get the feeling that the person can't be bothered. When you start getting generic replies, generic answers and no more initiative, its either that your concern and care are being taken forgranted for, or that you're a big idiot wasting your time and money. I figured which was the situation for me.
Ive got absolutely nothing else to say, hopefully inspiration would tweak back the next time.
Thats all folks...plays looney tunes theme*
Lame comment of the day: You sound like a donkey fighting with a monkey and a turkey.
~datahush vi britannia commands..
10:41 PM
Friday, January 30, 2009
Bang bang i shoot you
For some strange and mysterious reason, ive completely lost interest in blogging. More like ive ran out of inspiration. And this blog shall thus...degrade into...an ordinary ranting blog. Not that it was any special before hand, but it was humour brain racking. Sarcasm has an active time limit. Oh and by the way, the song thats playing now and the next one are officially my two favourite songs for now.
One of my friends quit his job, either got sacked or left(hehe). and hes gna just rot at home until april. Uh-oh..i forsee a wave of unstoppable, tormenting emo-ing coming his way. Right on the path of self-destruction, im gna warn him and tell him to get his ass up and working. Now, some back ground infomation: He is has a bad record for reculcitrant emo-ing about girls, girl rather lol. and that happens when hes alone and has nothing to do. LIKE ME, except mines plural LOL. (girlS) why do you think im so occupied? Well this is no confession but i believe its pretty obvious that guys like me and HIM are extremely vulnerable in such isolated situations. I too was on the path of self destruction(during the CNY holidays with no work) with occasional reliefs by talking to nice friends but when i finally found the root of the problem, i was like, oh shit man...what the kuku am i doing??? well the root of the problem is too embarassing to say lol i'll tell u if u ask me in msn. and it is NOT PMS, as you can see i am a male. The moral of the story is, thank you yx for letting me gain enlightenment. I SEE THE LIGHT!!
To add to the list of tasks to keep myself busy. Ive suddently, decided to comply with my 爹's request to begin golf classes, and also driving classes. To my surprise, he told me not to start now, as delighted as he was, he explained that i might lose and forget the skill during NS, so its better to start after i come out and before i start UNI.(assuming i don't fail A-levels and get retained) and even if i get retained i tink i'll fail again. cause not 2 weeks ago a friend asked me to teach MACLURINS series, and i was like...errrmm..gimmme awhile......and when i came back she said :" solve liao?" den i was like....yea i found out whats maclurin, so whats the question? i figured she shouldn't even bother asking. Because honestly, my brain stopped working, the only thing working hard was my heart, but that retired too after enlightenment. ok not retired, suspended LOL.
Yesterday was thursday, CHU 4, 4th day of chinese new year. and according to the feng shui master, (for those of you who believe) Chu 4 is the WORSE DAY OF THE YEAR TO START Work. and ironically chu 5 is a good day to start. thats why most shops don't open until friday(today). Ah so thursday was bliss, i woke up LATE, ate breakfast LATE, turned on the computer to see my forum friends LATE, ate lunch LATE and when my dad came home, he started screaming at me for rotting at home and not going to the gym. Well i was wrong not to go to the gym but i did do my exercise at home, and cmon...its cny! oh well, i went today and extended my membership. You know, its sucha hassle to wait an hour for bus 57 to come to get me there, and wait another hour for bus 57 to come and get me back. Not to mention i gotta see ah bengs in sch uniform quarrel and fight over who stare at who first,whos gf is more pretty(more ahlian u mean), and who not happy with who. Im happy with everyone.=) im a peace-loving guy.
Fun facts: Did you know that NTU is an acronym for Ninja Turtle Univeristy, and SMU is SuperMan University? Add an A infront of NUS and u get ****. yep that was conjured by the bullcrap department of my brain 30 seconds ago.
Honestly, i hate going to work. Don't get me wrong i love my work its just i hate the process of going to work, and getting back. Well firstly i have to change bus, and it takes a long time and the bus is always so freakin crowded. Heres the irony, 171 comes...the small oridinary bus, everyone sqeezes in, the bus uncle shouts "EH BEHIND GOT GHOST AR?!?". While i peek out of the window and i see a empty, comfortable 851 long bus zoom past. Wow, and the government promotes efficiency. No wonder we're in a recession. Okay anyw, i don't mind that., the nxt part is that i have to pay 2 DOLLAR A TRIP!!! thats erm...15 minutes of work! ok i can do that. but what i personally don't like about going to work, even so more than coming back, is the people. The students...those taking bus with me...they're uniforms. those schools, rich, good smart schools up bukit timah. They stare at me like im some adult going to work. I don't know i don't like it. Its almost like i wanna go back to school, although i don't want to. i don't like it.
On thursday i had piano class, i love thursdays for that hehe. i always go to the centre 1 hour earlier just to practice. But the only problem is 80% of the pianos there suck!! ok not as suck as those in aj =.= bleah(those are beyond the suck scale dont' ask, just leave ur piano in a corner for 500 years and it should be close). Ok those in the piano centre suck cause....the principal...according to my sources..is too cheapskate to fix them. Theres about 10 studios there or so, each having a piano with some other musical instruments etc etc. and i each time i go i have to enter EVERY studio to press afew buttons to see if its ok. i get really ticked off about spoilt or imperfect tunes. Oh well but the teacher is nice, and funny lol and good. and the lesson itself is 45mins-1hour, and i stay another 1-2 hours after that to practice. Although i can do it at home there has the atmosphere. and im like the only noob there lol. Those than sign up are like grade 5/6/7/8 and i write down beginner LOL. Well its not that im a beginner but its cause i don't take classes, as in i dun take formal classes, i don't read tao gay. I just learn for fun hehehe.
DAY BREAKS BELL!!
If i had a choice of living the life i have now, and slowly unravel the unlimited potential of the future or to REset my life from say...sec 1 and relive it. Id rather the latter. Ive got too many regrets too many mistakes too many missed opportunities i wanna turn back the clock and correct them. Ive to put up with haunting and and and spilling memories and only after repetitive chanting that im an idiot im and idiot and covering my face in embarassment that i forget it, for an hour at least. Ah..regret..sometimes...having a good memory isn't sucha good thing.
Lame comment of the day: Make up turns men off, Thick makeup turns them back on.
~datahush vi britannia commands..
8:30 PM
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The future leaders of Singapore.
Disclaimer: Half of everything i say in this post is exaggerated.
A old and wise man once said:" If you, the newbie teacher in ******* primary school. Can master the art of catching little p3 monsters' attention for more than 5 seconds, you would have mastered all levels of teaching..." True enough, i believe. However, i must of course...start by getting their attention in the first place, if im gna try to last 5 seconds..... I see 400 little monsters a week, each, asking me 10 questions a lesson, ranging from stupid questions..to hilarious questions. That makes 4000 questions answered a week. BEAT THAT!! U MCQ NERD FREAKS!! I bet ur TYS doesn't even have 4000 questions, let alone a week. hehehe...
This is a rich school, a school of rich parents, and a school where monsters grow up to be rich. The facilities are astounding, everything is bigger, shiny and newer than my JC. Even in the fish pond, the koi's look more alive. Once in a while when i walk out of my JC i see the pond has some fish swimming reallly close to the surface with their tummies facing the sun, permanently sun bathing. Compared to my primary school, the largest difference i observe is...the way the kids come to school. Where i came from, parents came in umbrellas, here? Mercedes bens 7 series. When lesson starts, you see parents, mostly the taitais waiting outside "oberseving". During recess, the kids are brought premium food from outside and don't eat in the canteen because :" I dont' want my child to be consuming processed food" A list of facilities i totally didn't expect, A chess-playing area, A gaming room with consoles, A toliet staircase and......a cheap, lousy and broken piano?!?!?
For this paragraph, i shall call the little monsters little kings and queens. The boys are terrible, they think he rule the world:" KEEP QUIET!!!! SIT DOWN!!! LOOK IN FRONT!!! DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!!! OR ELSE I CONFISCATE", boy A: my mommy can always buy another 100 more for me. 0.0 The girls are better, they're cute and friendly. the only problem with the girls is, "Mr tan, whats a screwdriver? ohhhhh this is a screw driver!!! cool!!! ive never used one before!!" So basically i have to teach the basics, seriously the basics, each student is given a box of tools and parts to put together. "class! this is a screw driver....woooooooo...this is how you hold a screw driver......wowwwwww......to screw it in...you turn it clockwise......woahhhhhhhhh", okay try to screw your robot tight now. (the class tries, and one tells me that its spoilt not working...soon another...and another...and almost the whole class tells me their screwdriver is spoilt) I was alittle puzzled until i realised the problem. "CLASS! STOP! in order to screw the screwdriver...you first need to put in ...THE SCREW!!!!" duhhh....see all working already. There also other problems like teaching them how to use a double sided tape etc etc, and the interesting part is that they havent even opened their box yet LOL.
Hey, all of you.! slams the table* I am extremely frustrated with your attitudes, i don't care whether you are king of your house or how much money your mommy and daddy give you, you are now in school and you must follow school rules, and of course listen to the teacher! Now i wanted to give them some inspiration so i asked afew of them what they would like to be when they grow up. One boy said he wanted to be an engineer, i passed to him the screwdriver and said that he will succeed one day, he takes the tip of the screwdriver and tried to put the handle into the hole. When i saw, i went back to him and whispered into his ear:" Maybe you should be a businessman.."
The canteen wasn't too bad, but to get better food, u gotta learn the technique. And my training didn't teach me that. On the first day i decided to go with something safe, noodles cause, how bad can they be?. I stepped into the canteen, to see a army of chaos...mess...and noise pollution. After avoiding all dangers and conquering the obstacle course, i joined the what seemed like 4D hong pao lucky draw queue. Nonetheless the service was quick, each bowl of fishball noodles cost 50 cents but each bowl had the quantity of one of my mouthful so i asked for bigger portion. The vendor took a bigger bowl, and poured the contents of 4 other small bowls into it. So there were 4 fishballs in it, plus noodles. =.=...i was about to pay 2 dollars when i saw PRAWN MEE signed on the top of the counter, TODAY'S SPECIAL. So i asked for prawn mee, the vendor removed the 4 fish balls and replaced them with 4 half-prawns....today is really special...
Ahhh end of the first month of terror, i got my pay check yesterday. Saved them all and bought my family a treat for reunion dinner. My parents, being parents..got all excited about their son getting his FIRST PAY CHECK, they took alot of pictures and all that but yea, no big deal to me. Im not a fan of money, i don't spend. Im not in need of anything. That evening i went to Novena POSB bank to deposite the check. Where i learnt of the quick check deposite section, how convienient. Just write your bank acc number and drop it into the slot. Now heres the strange part, beside that quick check deposit box theres a dustbin, a sleek, shiny well designed dustbin. It fitted nicely into the wall, looks like part of the machine. On it, was written :" Dear customers, this is a dustbin." WHAT?!? ohyea do you need to tell me? maybe you the wall should say dear customers this is a wall as well LOL. Well i was laughing to myself until i saw the next person use it, then i completely...COMPLETELY understood what it meant. It was a middle aged, housewife, curly hair, plump and blur looking woman. She held in her right hand a check, and went over to the machine, scanned it and wrote her bank acc number behind, next thing she did was put the check into the dustbin. Yup thats right, the dustbin. Perhaps they should make the words bigger.
That day at the gym was pretty amuzing, well it wasn't the gym literally it was in the locker room. There was no body there. There were about 100 lockers or so, all in two rows with the benches in the middle. I just finished my training regime and took a refreshing bath, just sitting there relaxing, when something magical happened. A FAERIE APPEARED! lol jkin no la. Ok this is what happened. When people come in and change they put their handphones and wallets into the locker, and lock and leave, WITHOUT PUTTING TO SLIENT MODE. Ok so when i was sitting there...i started to hear some vibration sounds and some music..then another..with lyrics..and another...of another instrument....and before long....the locker room became an orchestra!! lala~ hilarious.
My dad came back from a conference. He brought some free gifts back, one of them being a very powerful binoculars. Seriously i could see what all my neighbours were doing....though i don't look lol, i can but i don't i respect privacy, because i dont' get it all the time. anyway, i was thinking aloud :" we are gna keep this somewhere and collect dust" My mom was quick to defer: No, this is very useful!! even more useful indoors than outdoors!" i was like har? but she elaborated. This binoculars.....can help us...save alot alot of money.....its very useful......in....CONCERTS!!! Next time we go esplanade watch shows just buy the cheapest seats and bring this along hehehehe. Now this reminds me, back in the JC days we used to sit rightttt at the back of the lecture theatre, not because we thought it was COOL but we were ASSIGNED there, hate it, cannot see anything, not because of our eyes, but its the projector.....its old...blurry...and cranky, just like the teachers WHO REFUSE TO EXPAND THE WORDS because they like to squeeze as much info into one page as possible. We kept complaining but to no avail. Until one point someone brought a binoculars to college and one person see and read out the rest copy. Funny, binoculars in lecture theatre. SO i guess next time we need a telescope to see jay chou in singapore indoor stadium.
Lame comment of the day: Pour Lee Pee Pearl = poly ppl hehehehehe...
Btw if you guys havent seen this you BETTER WATCH IT NOW(pause the music playing up there). Or else.....I KILL U! =)
~datahush vi britannia commands..
7:42 PM
Friday, January 16, 2009
I got it, i really got it, this time..
After i was born, my parents decided to have another child, who happens to be my sister. They wanted a girl, for obvious reasons cause im a boy. So when my mom was pregnant, she asked my dad whether he preferred it to be a girl or boy, he said that whether he prefers which doesn't matter cause its probably decided by now and he gives my mom's tummy a light tap. But if you really want to know(ok this is what he said) :" Nevermind la, doesn't matter whether its a boy or girl, as long as its a girl." LOL, and my mom 0.o". Okay so when my mom went for the pregnancy check up at kk hospital, initial tests determined it to be a boy(partly cause last time machine so lao ya). Only until the actually birth date did my mom realise that it was a girl, so she was damm happy and excited and ran downstairs to the public phone to call my dad. On the phone she sounded really excited and described everything to my dad in english. Seated right beside the phone was an elderly woman, clearly very conservative and traditional, seeing my mom so happy, she asked: "Di Yi tai ar?"(first child?) my mom says no second, then the lady asked :" Nan de ar" (baby boy?) my mom says no girl, the lady says :" tsk so happy for what..."
One of the things i hate most in the world is when hawkers give me the wrong food, especially SPECIFIC orders. That day, i went downstairs to buy my usual char siew fan from the best stall i know, oh man before i continue....they use chicken rice for char siew fan, their sauce is sweet and tasty yum yum and their charsiew is thick, juicy and soft...goes perfect with the chicken rice i tell you. Okay back to topic, i always buy from this auntie one and always buy wan ton mee from this auntie also and i ALWAYS tell her no chilli, because i can't eat chilli, don't get me wrong i love chilli and spice but cause of acne i must avoid all spicy stuff. So i paid 4 dollars and took the da paoed food up. Went home, put everything down sat at the table and ahhhh relax...time for lunch. I took metal fork and spoon from the kitchen drawer, opened the styrofoam box and mentally prepared myself and my hungry tummy to eat delicious char siew rice. But to my disspointment...i saw chilli.....not only chilli, i saw RED chilli, GREEN chilli, chilli SAUCE, chilli POWDER, and soy sauce with chilli SEEDs. auntie ar...i said i don't want chilli, i nvr say i want ALL the chilli........
Speaking of aunties, there was a hilarious scene i saw at toapayoh the other day. I was at the junction, i saw another elderly woman who seemed lost and don't know how to cross the road. ( i know this sounds like a typical pri sch Xiao Ming composition but its true.) A gentleman, seeing the woman in distress, offered to help the elderly woman cross the road, he took her hand gently and the woman just nodded, okay STOP. This woman did not nod IN APPROVAL she nodded to adjust her head to see who it was, so the gentleman thinking she accepted his help, started to lead her(or rather pull her) onto the road to cross in the direction he believes she is traveling to. Now this is what i heard in dialect: " AHHH!! COME AR!! HELP ME!! DON'T MOLEST ME!!! DON' RAPE ME!!! AHHH HELP HELP!"*(lai ren ar! you se lang!) okok, lets assess the situation...to me, a gentleman in proper office attire is standing in the middle of the road holding the arm of a woman i guess looks 80, dressed in traditional flowered clothing, and of course..the woman is screaming... i look away...i decided that i should not get involved...after that i just AM CHIO for the next 15 minutes.
I love the kids where im working, they're cute, and innocent. Uh oh, looks like im wrong...LOL initially the boys and girls are shy and attentive, until i got friendly with them. Well they actually love me lol, during recess and all that they see me will come and say hi to me, aww. But i made one FATAL MISTAKEN, one mistake which could destroy our relationship, which could undermine my auothority and place the fate of the WORLD IN JEOPARDY. This is my sin : I told a group of p3 girls that i watch "Dora the explorer", and i played "Club penguin". Now my question to you guys is, wth are those in the first place? The kids got all so excited after i told them that and they started asking me if i played with barbie dolls. After that, my name became Mr Childish lol. Now i hear this every corner of the school i turn. "MR CHILDISH!!"
Newspaper said that even when you are sick, you should continue exercising and keeping fit, so i did. Now ive had this flu since Prom night, ive no idea why it didn't go away but i'll live with it. Going to the gym with flu isn't really a problem, but its the running 2.4 on threadmill that gives me the problem, well not me actually it gives other people problems. I will elaborate. Here i am running on the threadmill, ive completed 2 rounds and there are people around me running as well, they are exhausted from running many many laps. Strangely, everyone's sub concious starts to coordinate and everyone runs at the same step interval so you start hearing all the footsteps in SYNC. Now heres the weird part, a runner(me) takes one hand and reaches into his pocket while running, fishes out a tissue paper and blows his nose while running, blowing loud with alot ALOT of mucus coming out. Because he is running, he is unable to clear is fully so he rubs and makes disgusting sounds and finally clears his nose. When he returns to his original run, a quick look around tells me that everyone is staring at me...written on their faces: who in the world blows their nose on a threadmill in the middle of 2.4km run?
Many of my friends have started to learn to drive. They're telling me about highway code and all that stuff. Now when it comes to practical, all practices involve cars with the L-plate right? L stands for learner right? I would like to change the acronym, L should stand for lame. Because, L-plated cars are really damm lame, they drive slower than people walk, closer to the left lanes than any other cars, and always don't move even when they are no cars and turning junctions.
I went to see the Chinese doctor the other day and she took my pulse(da mai), she says i have alot of xin shi and troubles/stress emotional wounds that prevent my flu from healing, she says that there is no medicine she cna give to cure that, i should start taking things easy. WOW i thought to myself, i didn't even know that.
Lame comment of the day: Whats the difference between a quater pounder and a double cheese burger with no cheese?
~datahush vi britannia commands..
10:35 PM
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