it's real

it's real.

laughing at an inside joke
exchanging smiles
sneaking behind walls and closed doors
catching a good movie together
long train rides
long bus rides plugged in with music of the yesteryears
walking home with the wind
watching the world go by
lying on my sister's bed and talking like there's no tomorrow
spending time with Him
living the moment
relishing these moments
drawing breaths of air, quicker by the minute.

i want to live life as it is, not in my mind but in its actual form, substance, smell, taste,
touch.
it's real, and i want to savour every single minute of it.

1:22 AM
Saturday, 23rd August 2008

a significant day, a signifcant date, a significant time.

it marks the start of a whole new beginning, and the conclusion of a rough chapter in my life.

farewell to the old, let us herald in the new.

chinese o's were HORRIBLE.

okay, well maybe horrible isn't even the word to describe it. do i hear...understatement of the year? well call it horrible, terrible, shocking, inhumane whatever. throw in the worst adjective you can think of and it'll probably be still be a more diluted way of attempting to explain how bad it was. SO, [insert a whole load of horrible words. RANTS. VENTS. GAHH.]
now there.

so maybe i really did use only 2% of what i studied, and maybe i made about 395782 cuo bie zis, and maybe i chose really stupid options for the li jie ce yan, but who cares, i'll probably never be seeing chinese ever again! at least not on a pen and paper examination. i forgot to add that this would only apply to me if i do get b3 and above, somehow, miraculously. for now, i'll leave this in the hands of God and try to take my mind off this for a while. it's ze HOLS now! and no more papers for the rest of the year! w00t!

away, away with chinese! ahh...ever wondered what true liberation feels like?

went out with cheryl and lisa to village to eat after chinese. then we went to espirit to shop! cheryl gave me a 25% voucher that expires today! and me, being the ideal target of deceiving discount vouchers, racked my brains thinking of something to buy before i caught sight of a maroon tote bag. ahhh it's super nice! headed down to suntec after that and the whole place was so dead. i wasn't really in the mood to shop at that time, and since i have absolutely no fashion sense when it comes to shoes, i had (and still have) no clue what a nice,prom-ish shoe is supposed to look like. to me, shoes are just [insert random material] things that we use to put our feet on so as not to step on pesky pins or pebbles. i guess i'm probably offending loads of fashion gurus at this point, but ohwell, excusez-moi, please mind my lack of...knowledge in this field. well, some say that shoes are imperative in a standard dress code, especially when it comes to adding the finishing touch to a razzle dazzle of an outfit and everything. like hua she dian jing. but, ohwell, i'm totally clueless when it comes to shoes.

give me clothes, bags or EARRRINGS anytime.

we left at around 5+ and i rushed all the way back home for jazz after that and was late for 15 minutes. oh wow, you might be thinking, what a surprise. not that it matters anyway. thank goodness the junior class was still going through the p2 dance routine, and so they ate about 45 minutes into our class. the tiny studio was packed like sardines okay! bear with my use of cliches, but seriously, it was being in a little market, or, in geog terms, some squatter settlement-like community gathering. i bumped into loads of people and got bumped into in turn, as usual.

jazz was as usual. we went through the whole routine plus some ballet stuff like jumps, pirouettes, splits and all. ahhh, i really like the hairspray soundtrack! :D it's so much nicer to dance to, and im totally in love with track 6! (dont ask me what that is, go find it out yourself! haha) but what i really liked about today's class was ms lee's short prep talk thing. what she said about teenage awkwardness, parenting, values and all really struck me, and helped me to remind myself what really matters in life. family, friends and most importantly, meaning. huo de chong shi, you yi yi. (gahh noooo go away chinese words! note: please ignore this short aside. i think i'm going insane thanks to the wonderful o's. but i know i shouldn't be complaining cos i'm only taking one paper so i should stop right here yea.) sometimes i get sucked into this unreal world, and i find that through time, i get so caught up in this endless/mindless/relentless pursuit for elusive pots of gold that it gets increasingly difficult to untangle myself from this mess. and when i finally do, and look back at what i've been through, i can't help but think about how ridiculous everything seems. how truly, insanely ridiculous. somehow, all these aspirations seem more distant now, definitely more so a laughing matter than before.

i'm really glad that i decided to take up this hobby. certainly, dance has been more than just a form of fitness, or even a form of artisitic expression for me. it's a search for and into my identity. most definitely, dance has helped me to realise so many things about myself that i was simply oblivious to before. many more to come, i hope.

well, can't wait for p2 jazz tmr! hopefully i can get my shoes asap right after piano and rush to crestar in time for the grade 6 class!

If you TWIST I insist you use HAIRSPRAYYY!

Eeek.

The blogosphere seems really foreign to me now.
Oh yes, I've decided to peak into my cobweb-filled closet after a zillion years.
(the striking resemblance to a certain someone's-AHEM-locker is truly uncanny)

*crickets*

Skeletons and cans of worms galore, naturally.
Plus many other happy kodak moments though. (:

Oh no, this feels weird. Very weird. And strangely quiet.

Well, I shall attempt to type a proper first blog entry later today!
My brain seems to be getting blurrier by the second AND I have a date with my bed.
So ta for now!