Talk about a LOOOOOONG break....

Hello Everyone!
I'm checking in and seeing how the blogging world has been turning. So a little update...Our baby girl is OURS. She is 3 and her adoption was final at 18 months. We changed her name at adoption. Our wonderful little boys we had are in a perfectly matched home for them. God has answered our prayers and everything has really worked out perfectly. You wouldn't know it by reading the ups and downs though. Which is the wonderful thing about blogging, you remember the frustration and desperation of the moment. Then you can even see it all work out wonderfully. Or not. Sometimes it doesn't work out like you want. We have had lots of life changes for our family and now are deciding where to go next. We haven't had a foster placement in a year. Actually we had one placement that lasted 1 week. So what do we do....to re-certify or not. That is the question.
Reasons to not:
We are super behind on classes
I get tired of the constant intrusion of social workers in my home
We are really busy with our own children (football, teenagers with jobs!)
I'm tired
I'm lazy and selfish (aren't we all? LOL)
I am homeschooling!!! Yes we are homeschooling 1 child only but I LOVE it.
I'm still trying to get my photography business to work...ugh!

Reasons to re-certify:
I love it
I love it
I love it
I love it
My kids love it
My husband....thinks I'm crazy (heehee)
I could just only take 1, then they will just fit in with the other 4 less noticably
I hate not having the 'option' to take another.
I feel like it's the right thing to do.
I don't know.

So I'm torn. My husband said he would be ok to quit now (lol, he makes me laugh). So it's really up to me. If I say let's just keep our license for now, he would be on board. I even said yes to a placement call yesterday and he was fine with it. We weren't picked, it was a toss up between us and another family.
Has anyone been there done that????

If we do renew...I'm limiting myself to 1 child. Preferably younger than 3.
But I'm really really really torn. I've been praying about it. I got that call yesterday. ????? Honestly, there are no good reasons to renew, unless you are the child that comes to our home. Then there is a good reason. This is hard. 

Quick Update

We are still around!!! lol! I'm reading everyone's blog updates but have not had time to keep up mine. I'm starting my photography business so that is a huge undertaking that has me insanely busy, as if I wasn't already.

The boys may leave us soon in a few months. Various dad's are being ruled out, several of them are interested if these children are theirs. I feel great that these men are taking responsibility, but it's sad for our family nonetheless.

Adoption is trekking along slowly, of course. We hope to have a date in October...lol! That is what I said about Sept. Oh well. I have learned not to get bent out of shape over the small details.

Right now, we are so busy that we can't keep up with our laundry, housework, homework, and tv shows!!! But we are sooooo happy!!!! I am so happy we listened to our calling.
Oh yeah, and we are behind in our foster care re-certification hours. This is a huge deal, and one I gripe about nonstop. So just add a little stress to our mix...the only part about fostering that is hard, is the training. The training itself is a piece of cake, it's juggling my huge family that is the struggle. Too bad our agency doesn't offer childcare or I would be all over it---and would not have a problem getting my hours. Lame.

Just So Busy!!

I hate that I don't have time to blog as much as I used to. Wait a minute, I'm actually busy taking care of these kids I so desperately wanted! So I can't blog, big deal...lol! Well Love Bug is on her way to becoming part of our family. We think in September sometime. It's absolutely a dream come true. She is an amazing little girl and we are in disbelief that we get her!!!!

We still have our boys, they are doing wonderful. Structure and consistency can really make some children bloom. Reunification is still in the works, mom has a ways to go.

Lovebug's mom has another baby. Boy baby. We will see what happens but we are on the list to get him if it comes to that. I will need a nanny!!! lol~


So that is our update. Our own children are doing great and are so excited about their sister. She is so adored by her brothers.

Momma's Baby....Daddy's Maybe...

Wow that is so true in our boys case. There are several men coming forward claiming paternity on our 4yr old. What??? This child is about to be 5, are you kidding me??? No one has disputed paternity in 5 yrs, and he does have a father that signed his birth certificate! His baby brother has no one claiming him yet. We know of a few contestants but no one is willing to apply for the prize. The very sad possibility of this mess is that IF they find a suitable real father for one of the boys, then they will be split up. This is what I have problem with. These boys are bonded and should not be split. But this is what happens when the law comes before people.

On another update. Our adoption of Lovebug will be happening in a few months. An absolute answer to prayer and more importantly an answer of yes to God that started this whole process!

Seriously, I'm glad there are no visits

I can't believe I feel this way. I have always felt that supporting the bio mom is important and I like to help mom's become better moms. But every case is different, unique. Fostering is not a little box you can stuff all the cases into. That is one reason our system is so flawed. We are dealing with individuals, everyone uniquely and wonderfully made according to the Bible. While I will leave alone how wonderfully made the parents are in our boys cases, I will say it does apply to these children. They are going on with their lives, dealing with their baggage, and seriously trying to be happy. So no visits with a parent who is not interested in parenting is good. It would be seriously damaging to our boys to constantly be rejected by their mom. Now if she shows up and wants to make an effort, I have no choice but to be supportive--for the boys (I will not be happy about it though). For now, I am their mom and I love them.

On our way to Adoption!!!

So this month the state should have permanent custody. Then we will be moving forward with adoption of Lovebug. We are so over the moon I can't even explain it. The crazy part is how bittersweet it is. Adoption is so wonderful, but there is a loss that comes with it. Our Lovebug is losing her mom, she has lost her siblings. We feel we have won the lottery and she is an adored baby, but one day she will have to deal with her loss. I am glad she has no idea what is going on, all she knows is our family. We love her, she is ours. Soon, it will be official.

Update on boys...looks like mom is MIA. Not kidding. She has walked away from 2 children after contributing to physical abuse, post traumatic stress disorder, attachment disorder, hungry, neglected, unsupervised babies. All is not lost. They are safe, loved, and getting the attention they have so craved from their parents. We will see where this goes. No visits for now, and that is a relief really. I cannot believe this though. Were we meant to adopt again?? This really is not in my plan. I mean 2 more boys?? I am praying hard about this, but I am really confused. I know there are so many parents waiting for adoption, what if they are meant to be with them? Do we just rehab these children and send them on their way to their adoptive home? I just don't know. I am way ahead of myself, this situation could turn around in a split second, that is what happened with Little Guy. I just can't help myself, thinking into the future of 'what if''s.

Going Backwards with every little bit of Progress

Our 4yr old has a hard time switching any type of activity. I need more info on this problem. I give him warnings, countdowns, whatever I can to prepare him for activity changes. He will still go into a crying thrashing fit, and it doesn't matter where we are (think public tantrums at their best). I already try to not bring any added attention on to our bus load of children, but with a fit thrower it's inevitable. People stare. OMG! I must look like a crazy person. Oh well, it's my payback because I have done my share of staring. It's my turn to walk in those shoes. The good part is that we can reason with him, he isn't 100% out of control. So now we move on to the 1 yr old. He is very sensitive to telling him no, or redirecting him. He will throw himself down and scream, and not even for real reasons. Some days I think he is getting better, then he will get mad because I get him out of a drawer. Even giving him a toy and trying to redirect doesn't usually work. These behaviors are new for us to deal with and parent. I am using consistency and redirection. They are very sweet children, affectionate, and very funny. Visits with mom should start soon. I have mixed feelings about it, but I will support mom however I can.