return of the deadly mother tongue!!!



there was this long Q before i even stepped into the office



i was on my feet the whole day in heels and smiling ear to ear *note it is fake smile*

although i really didnt want it at all.

talked to all the ah pehs and ah mahs.

i have never spoken so much mandrin in a single day

and dialect too.

and i think i am dying.



no counter work for me today.

standing hour in hour out.

CPF is SO FREEKING BUSY!!!

only allowed a 15 min lunch break.

but clock in 10.25 hours of work today.

started at 8 ended at 6.30



at least i get $$$

if i carry on at this rate the entire week.

i will have

242+132=374 by the end of the week



and by any unwanted chance i have to work like this the entire month...

ill have 374 times 4 = $$$1496 per month

that is alot, but i am working like a harvesting bull



then after CPF will be...

1496 times 0.8 = $$$1197



i dont want to work at this inhumanly unacceptable rate.

shanny!!! stop calculating everything in MONEY!!!

tomorro is my first day official

SCARED!!!

my wisdom is growing out

the gums are left hanging in the middle of the mouth

i have two tonsals (is that how you spell it?)

shopping spree!!!



i just slashed $200 on my card in three hours.

there goes another emptying of my fianacial well.

just want my pay to enter.

then can go on another round.



thinking of buying more stuff tomorro.

think i may want to buy a pink eyeshadow



man am i good at spending money.

Working sucks



being in the front line will mean that i have to be presentable. that means

1. i have to follow the house rules
2. i must maintain good posture and die of backache
3. i must be SUPER POLITE even when i want to puch them down the stairs
4. i must wear office clothing which i dont have a single piece
5. i must wear makeup and risk pimples again
6. i must have half hour break on busy days and die of hunger
7. i must be UNEXPLAINABLY PAITENT which i am not
8. i must be at work on time which mean less sleep and waking up sch hours
9. i must not slack besides there is no time to

IN CONCLUSION

I AM NOT GOING TO BE SHANNY!!!

dinner with the hawaii volcano chain



you think singapore is safe from plate tectonic activity??? no way... i have a life sized example that there is still magma movements occuring in our midst. very easy to detect.



just look at my face.



five really really REALLY BIG ones that is residing on my face. i am a busy woman this week and my hormones have to grant my my christmas present. hhohoho... i have to go from wedding dinner to family dinner and i look worse than the Aluetian islands. great aint it???



advisible to have a conversation with me with eye-no-so-contact from my neck down. i am afriad that if you see this rotten face of my you may not be able to live till chirstmas. i want all my friends and relatives to survive christmas.



if you know what continental meats continental, then you have understood the basic of what my face looks like. just that you must keep note that there is magma/puss activity under the crust with just cant wait to arise to the surface. in the end there is just series of bumps and explosion on the earth's surface. think the himalayas with volcano. big and dangerous.



just imagine this sexy girl with a volcanic face



that was me



i am so ego man... keep refering myself as sexy in the times of oxy treatment need. i think i may have to get some form of brain transplant. anyway. i dont even think oxy can do anything bout it at all.



i may just have to pour acid all over my face

my face looks like mince meat



pimple here, pimple there

pimple pimple EVERYWHERE



how on earth am i going to face the world???



i have this gigantic one on my nose,

one on my cheek and two on my chin.

i look hideous!!! i cant even stand the sight of myself.

oh GOD!!! save me...



i have a dinner to attend tonight and i look like mince meat!!!

i must look pretty. shanny MUST look pretty!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!

PIMPME!!!!!!!!!!!



like &%*$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont think i got the job



they didnt call me as much as i wanted them to

"disdained" hearts



the lack of post in the last 5 days were due to a busy schedule. firstly me new com arrived on wed and i had so much fun playing my computer games that i forgot that the internet existed. there was a problem in the modem setting and i had to carry this box with wired down back to funan to get it troubleshooted. but in the end, after pains and hard work. the guy manage to fix me up throught the phone.



cheers



next... they came down from norway!!! haven ot seen them for two whole years. jasmine has grown prettier and martin??? taller... how does 2 meters sound to you??? when i saw him i was like all shocked at MY lack of height... i was barely up to his shoulders!!! and he looks like gosh groban!!! the hair and everything!!!! ill get some pictures posted soon!!



jasmine and i went clubbing with the first time of my life, WITH the APPROVAL of my PARENTS!!!! yes people. mommy finally ALLOWED shanny to dress up and go party and drink. but shanny only did the drinking part. no dress up unless you count jeans and a racer with eyeliner. but who cares man??? i was still clubbing with mommy nodding her head.



danced and danced and danced the whole night away. went to zouk. didnt know if the min age was 18 or 21 but no cared anyway. ticket was FOC. just entered and drinked and danced. i rock!!! jasmine was stopped by the bouncers for ID. i didnt!!! i must have looked really REALLY AGED!!! but the thing is that i did not make up at all!!! i rock!!!!!!!



drinking suddenly seem so fun. gin gin and more gin!!! i love everything!!! including beer!!!



reached home and soaped my hair for three days before i could get rid of THAT SMELL!!! it was really bad sleeping with it at night... i turn and i stink... that is why i dont smoke so dont you dare come and tempt me, coz i am just going to throw that light bud back into your contipated face.... (yes friends who smoke in front of me are all constipated. friend or not.)

i dreamt i was a CHAMPION swimmer



i was flew the length of the pool in 5 strokes.

i was GOOD!!! and FAST!!!

i was so CONFIDENT!!!



does this mean that i am so good that i am going to get the job???

or does that mean that i miss my primary sch competitive swimming days????

my interview



okay, dressed up really nicly to down for my interview. turtle neck, skirt, full make up and everything. look like a chio bu!!! ready for some modeling photoshoot. with really cute pumps which made my feet explode with blisters after walking to just bishan mrt. (blame it on vainity. but the shoes were VVVVV nice) but anyway i look really good!!! it's the look that counts. pain doesnt matter.



then i have to prance through city link mall to suntec and reached there 30 mins before my interview time. thought i couldnt find the place so i left the house at 8.30am. but in the end the signs were so easy to read. thanks God i wasnt late at all. if i came any later... i will have to wait light years for my turn. i was second in line for the interview.



but the walk to suntec tower 3 made mince meet out of my feet. my heels werent high at all, it was the darn unseasoned shoe that kept sandpapering at the back of my feet. think maybe ill have to try throwing it the laundry or soak it in some softening thingy. but the shoes are so sharp i scared that i spoil the washing machine. then mommy will demand my 1st pay to buy the house a new washing machine.



anyway. the interview went ok. wasnt as bad as i would have expect. didnt panic at all. no sweat. but i really wish i could get this job. it sounds really fun!!!



but may have blew it when they asked what was my weaknesses... like hello???? totally wasnt prepared for that at all. i dont even know my strenghts are an i was on and on blabbling on my leadership opportunities... "leadership" shanny my dear, is not in your blood at all. weaknesses??? i actually told them i slur when i speak to authority... like what is my freeking problem?????????????????? i just FIRED myself on that spot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they need people to call people and i am not going to be hired...........



i (hope i) may be working in the infocomm development athourity of singapore. yes people... a GOVT "ministry". if i do get a job here, think what it will do to the rest of my resume in the future. besides, it seems really fun. ill have to call up weird people and adapt to be a high class sophisticated loan shark. just that this time there is no money involved but tonns of surveys!!!!! so fun... for once... people will have to obey me!!!



i really do hope i will get this job. pay i donno at all. but it is 9-6, 5 times a week job, with occasional OT. i get to do both customer service and admin at the same time.



no irritating sales or waitressing.

and i can wear what i want to work!



think temp job will have to contribute CPF.... if it does, so cool... ill be saving up for my old age earlier then i would expect. ill be a little richer by 60. but ill be left behind with 80% of pay. then still have to pay the recruiting agency. then left with i donno how much. then ill still be broke unless they pay me $1 000 000 an hour. (eat shit man)



i hopt they'll hire me.

i hope i can start soon.

i NEED THE MONEY!!!!!!!!

got my interview date

it is tomorro

have to wear formal...



i dont have formal clothes!!!!!!!!

man power surveyor



this is the assignment i got.

have to go for another interview.

should i keep it or should i wait for another?

jan to may.

pay i donno yet.

sounds like telemarketing.

but i would be working for government.



hmmmmmmm,........

one busy woman



the past week have been otherwise occupied. wadding in town to shop, down to raffles place for interview, then to town for another interview. and everytime i reach home at weird slotted timings that i would have been in bed if it was a normal school day.



think i am going to enjoy myself and keep myself ABAP until i get my assignment, which i hope will be soon. i need the money. give me another few days in town an i may end up having to declare myself broke. i dont want to be that broke.



was at funan and this house have finally gotten a new computer. it is arriving on Wed. yeah... ill have bout half a week to use my new com before i have to get crackin to work. my new com has wireless network. that means that i can get a computer/laptop for my room and it will be able to run on cable. that is so cool!!!

feet hurt



just went for a job interview today. paddled over to raffles place with 3 inches. up millions of stairs and down tones of slopes. think me feet NUA already. aching like mad. very long never wear my 3 inches.



think it will start after this week. when the woman calls me. and she BETTER. i will start ASAP. got really no money left in bank account. desperately want $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$44

Wackiness: 54/100

Rationality: 26/100

Constructiveness: 48/100

Leadership: 40/100



You are a WEDF--Wacky Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you a Menace to Society.



Well, whether you're actually a menace depends on how you choose to channel your energies. You chew your fingers and have an addictive personality. Properly guided, you can be enormously productive--otherwise you run amok, stir up trouble, and generally have a hell of a good time.



To your friends, you are a source of relentless entertainment. You often get into trouble, but you almost always find a way out. You are strangely popular and feed off others' energy. You live hard, seize the day, and although your more sober friends would like to see you settled down, you generally have fewer regrets and better memories than they do. Your tenet is that, at the end of the day, one regrets only what one didn't try. You are right.



You could benefit from outside help in balancing your highs and lows. Or perhaps cutting back on the caffeine.



take QUIZ here

desperate for an apple



i NEED a laptop to gain self satisfaction. i have been eyeing an apple notebook for so long. besides, i can get it at 25% off. i have been constantly visiting the website and today, i went down to the apple store at Borders.



i feel so lost without a computer. the one at home is not even working properly and i get so pissed off i just want to throw the mouse into the moniter. IF i had a laptop that wholey belongs to me... then i can buy my Sims 2 and play my Diablio 2 for as long as i want without having louis to nag me off the com.









the Ibook and the powerbook. powerbook is a good $1000 more expensive then the Ibook. but it has better graphic acceleration and firmer keyboard. i think the Ibook looks DAMN NICE. all sleek and white and bullet proof. so if a robber intends to rob you while you are using the Ibook, just slam it on him head and you will get a dead robber and a working notebook and NO DENT!!!



the Ibook looks so nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the 14 inch is (3.42*32.3*25.9cm) weighing at 2.7kg $2388 $1791

the 12 inch is smaller a bit and weighing 2.2kg $1848 $1386

powerbook 12 inch is (3*27.7*21.9cm) weighing 2.1kg $3088 $2316

powerbook 15 inch is (2.8*34.8*24.4cm) weighing 2.6kg $3788 $2841



i am so totally in love. waiting for the apple shop at J8 to open so i can go take a closer look. need to find out if i can use it in U before i get it. later i buy already then find out that cannot use wireless network in school. but MY Ibook is really gorgeous...

MOVIE!!!

isolation shopping



yeah. finally manage to do some shopping alone. i was SO BORED at home in the morn i finally decided to pull myself out out bed and travel down to town. alone and happy. orchard is so pretty, the smell of clothes and shoes can revive all unwaken cell juice and spur the sleepy shanny to one whole day of excitement and... slashing of atm card.



i slashed the poor card so many times today my wallet is full and hamburger thick with receipts. money here money there... money no where to be seen. happily spent bout $60 on weird stuff. i am so broke now i dont think i have enough money to last me till the end of december.



used to think i will get a job in January but i am so BORED at home i just want something to do. i have been trying to type my resume the whole morning and untill now, i have nothing impressive. think the moment they read my resume, they are just going to trash it and send it into the shredding machine. but somehow i really do hope that the countless leadership positions i have in my entire schooling life is worth while.



cedar tennis captain

SAJC tennis vice-captain

cedar class secetary for 4 years

speach and drama grade 5 in effective speaking



it better be worth something

EVERYONE, and i meanEVERYONE has their hair dyed



i feel like this black sheep in the middle of a rainbow. everyone around me has blond streeks, brown highlights, red lowlights, totally NOT BLACK HAIR i feel so left out. the whole world suddenly seems so colourful and my life is still black jet.



everyone i know has hydrogen peroxide-ed hair. church, school, cedar, raffles. i am the only black NATURAL HEAD in my crowd. it is straighter but not colored laden at all.



would really wish to get it done, i will... but SOON.......

besides

shanny has no money

shanny has no job

shanny has spoilt hair



i simply NEED SOME DYE!!!!!!!!!!!

need to get a job



hey... go lobang anot??? if not this poor woman on the other side of this blog will have to start filling out resumes and try posting it out like fliers. think i may degrade to selling myself. so cheapo. everyone has gotten a job somehow. if i cant get myself a job by january, i may simply just resort to geylang or something.



come on pple. get ur booties working

find shanny a job!!!!!!!!!

let the pain in my legs go away



in heels the whole day.

feels great to be tall but vainity hurts.

bye bye frizzy hair



i finally decided to rebond my mane. there is no more frizzy hair for me. hello nice straight STARIGHT hair. after much thought i decided to drag myself down to the cheapest salon there in in bishan and DO IT. cheapest still $150. but lucky it is with treatment and haircut. if not, ill just go sue the Singapore hair salon ministry (if there is such a thing) and ask them to return me my hair rebate.



my hair now is so soft and silky. can go do dove or herbal essence advert. cannot pin or tie for at least one week. it is SO SOFT that it keeps sliding down my eyes and then i suddenly become VIOLET (think incredibles) i am so pretty now. just praying really hard that the out growth will not make me look like i have two heads. i want my soft and silky hair to last forever without paying extra.



sat 3++ hours at the cold and hard seat trying very hard not to fall asleep. happily read 16 chapters of book. i did it at the ex- Flames salon. hair straighten and flatened out. now i have to wait one week before i got for ultimate colour. thinking of colouring something drastic. can you see me in -



blue???

red???

blond???

purple???



who cares man. when i go dye then ill decide what colour i want. really want to do two tone dye but shanny no "kaching". finally got my hair something.

hey people



this is my first proper entry ever since the invigilator said "pens down" i have never been so happy in my entire life to hear that two magical word. "pens down" would mean "hello life" i have been waiting and waiting for that very day to come since one whole years ago. i will finally have a proper break and go to slackers paradise.



the moment i finished my beautiful A levels. i am away in sentosa for a three day camp. so mentally and physically tired, i just want to sleep and slack for another day or so. my shoulders ached from the heavy bag i had to lug there.



this is the first time a camp was so slack. since when do you see waking up time as 9am??? slack camp is what i need to unwind. sentosa has so many peacocks you cant even sleep in peace. at 4 am in the morn they walk down the hill to the campsite and honk all the way. then the crows "awwwk" all day long. but for the sun and the sand... why not???

just returned from camp

finally a time to rest

super tired

YEAH



DONE

i am really scared



ever since that day i cried over econs. i dont know what am i going to do anymore. i mean if i totally screwed up my A levels, how am i going to face the rest of the world. i have no idea at all. i cant even face anyone then. i am very scared i cant get into NUS at all.



it really would hurt me to NOT get into the Uni. i dont mind being the last person who can enter my geog fac. as long as i can get in. but what ARE the chances???



after taking majority of the papers, suddenly i feel that my AAB is light years away. the most i can get is probally a BCD. and that is like shit... what if i get a BDD. then i comfirm cannot get into U liao. i dont want that. i just want to get into the UNI!!!!!!!!!!!!

after so long no blog i want to curse MOE+cambridge



i was totally banging on this paper for my A... and you know what??? even the great ms geography gives up and kowtow to the question paper...



i cant do the drq

i cant do the essay



it was the WORSE geog paper i have ever done. the questions all ask of weird stuff. i have no time. no brain. no luck. hell with A levels.



FREGGING GEOG

FREGGING MOE

FREGGING CAMBRIDGE!!!!!!!!

LIT/ECON/GEOG



GONE!!!!!!!!!!!

" There IT Goes "

Sixpence None The Richer and shanny



--> There it goes

There it goes again

Racing through my brain

And I just can't contain

This feeling that remains <--



there goes my half question

there goes my 15 marks

there goes my A

there goes my As (note the diff)

there goes my 1000million turnover company

there goes my career

there goes everything



i am going to join the 3.5% unemployed in singapore.

i am going to be unskilled.

i cant have the joy of burning my notes coz ill need them again next year.



did you see that BLOODY question paper??? i had one hour brain block. ONE HOUR!!! didnt even know what i was writing bout. no structure no content no graphs no nothing!!!



hope everyone screwed it up... but SOME PEOPLE think it is easy!!! like hello??? harder than prelims. question SO FREEKING VAGUE that i didnt even know what the mirco question wanted and what the macro question needed. i just wrote the same point over and over again. the whole essay was just talking bout imported inflation and fiscal. great...



one word...



SCREWED

letter to cambridge



Dear cambridge,



you know what??? i think you SUCK... what is your point trying to make me SUFFER like that. post examination TRAUMA is WORSE than anything. you give me things that NOBODY ever knows the answer to and expect me to write you a 3 PAGE ESSAY!!!



wish GLOBAL WARMING make winters for you this year EXTREAMLY FREEZING of an ideal -100*C. or even better if the ice cap melts and drown your little town. (no hard feelings to other regions) just cambridge...



yours:

shanny

i am really screwed

just remembered that i wrote "lit paper 5" on the cover page

shit

this is BAD...

hope they dont notice

hell Abaism



hey everybody!!! Shanny is dead... cambridge decided that they want me dead. think ill try jumping down bishan mrt station. people love to commit suicide there, what's one more???



lit today was really horrible. how else can i explain it??? EVERYTHING I NEVER STUDY CAME OUT!!! just great... i would just wish that Shakespear was NEVER born... stupid idiot gave me so much trouble. when i didnt study Rome... it just HAVE TO COME OUT!!! ROME!!! and what the hell is "political manouvring"??? stupid extract got NOTHING TO SAY... then the content question i dont even know what the damn quote is yabbling bout.



Chaucer??? when i NEVER study the ending... it has to come out... didnt even have the time or mood to reach the end and it HAS to come out... even a normal person would have LDMR after 30 pages of translation. STUPID CHAUCER... you can just go join Shakespear in death do you two part.



then comes Eliot.......... .......... ......................... .......................... ............. ............. ..................... ............................ ................... ... ...... ...............................



analyse??? analyse what??? i write five mins then i spend ten staring right to siting, thinking how to analyse and evulate... thus... no evaluation. 3 pages of surface elaboration. great, just greaaaaaaattttttttttt!!!!!!!!!



TOLD YA THAT"S IT FOR ME!!!

shit



shit



shit



shit





SHIT

5 generations



there are five generations in my family before my great grand mother passed on. 5!!!



there are so many cousins and relatives i never knew i ever had. i've always thought there were only four generations but not 5. there is some ACS guy that is donno whos son son son. or something like that. my extended family is so HUGE that even i have trouble keeping track of my usual CYN family. let alone tons more.



great grand mother is 93. and she has already seen her 5th generation. how cool is that? if only i could live that old. that means that everyone gave birth at 18 in order to have 5 generations. you can only do that in the olden days. with the low birth rate and emancipation of women in singapore, i will only be able to see my grand children by the time i am 90.



talk bout GREAT GREAT GRAND child.

she must be one happy woman.



think it is going to come out in the orbituries tomorrow.

janelle: i'm a celebrity too!!!

WHY???



there are some things that nobody can explain.

like:



why must she die NOW???

why am i sittin for my As NOW???

why must i continue to study???

why must i be born in singapore???

why am i suffering under the hands of the govt???

why does it keeps raining EVERY AFTERNOON???

why cant i concentrate on anything i see on paper???



why

why

why....



WHY MUST IT START TOMORRO???

my great grandmother passed away last night



my head is in a blank now.

lit is not going in.

there goes my lit.

FAIL!!!



i dont know what to make out of this.

i want to live to ripe old age like her.

i dont want to see her body.

ill have to later

why cant i see my AAB???



i have this really strong feeling that i may just end up getting a BBD. i really have no idea why. my As seems like light years away. i feel damn stressed now. i have too many things to do and study coz an idiot like me totally wasted two whole months after prelims. yup. totally regret not starting earlier.



why i have been bloggin much lately

either two reasons:

1. i have nothing to do at home and resort to turning to the com to spend my time.

2. too stressed



it is OBVIOUSLY the latter. i just feel that blogging makes me happy and relaxed FOR A FEW MINS...

you know what??? I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!



i have spending the ENTIRE day "tryng" to memorise middle english and so far i have "nothyng" in my head. yeah. that is how they spell it. i feel "totore" and feel like "sweryng". i am so freeking pissed.



there is so many "thyngs" in my head. a totally rojak of parody, irony, paradox, bathos, characteristic, exemplum, tale, perverce, exhortation, allusions, holy trinity, sins, evil, death, performer, redemption, concerns, methods, tone, structure, rhyme.... blah blah blah...



i feel like my head's gonna blow. and i have not memoriesed anything important. i have my points but what is the point when i cant even substantiate with quotes.... SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!]

a letter to the Right Honorable Sir Chaucer

from shanny



Dear SIR chaucer,

i have been recently informed about your award winning story, it is SLIGHTLY distinguished by CRITICS and is my HONOR to be able to witness the product of such a HIGHLY MAGNIFICANT writer like yourself. however, i am (not) very PLEASED to recieve such a WONDEROUS WORK from your hands.



when i first came across YOUR UNDYING PRESENCE in the content of the material, i was OVERPOWERED, like the REST OF MANKIND, by the CRUDE CHIEM LANGUAGE that beautified the characters. the ENCHANTMENT of your LANGUAGE is enough to cause anyone to consider JUMPING (out of the window) for JOY.



i have found your morals PLEASING to the BOWALS, and i would be glad to feed SOME FIRE to burn the heat it has created in the literary arena. it is DESERVING of UPMOST ATTENTION at the literary ABLISS. i would like to recomand your work - the pardoner prologue and tale, to the TOMB of HISTORY. it is so NICELY DONE and PERFECTLY FINISHED that i hope NO RESTORATION would be needed and it can be left to SURVIVE itself on the SHELF (and rot to death).



thank you for your utmost attention.

with all do RESPECT:

your MOST HUMBLE READER,

shanny (the greater than you)



ps: rest IN PIECES!!!

IF I HAD ONE MILLION DOLLARS...

top 10 things i will do, in order of wants



1. pay someone to burn cambridge

2. pay someone to fly a plane into cambridge

3. pay a scienctist to develop a virus that will eat the brain of ALL other candidates taking A levels in Singapore (yup, u r not my friend and that brainless person would include u)

4. staple the one million check into exam script

5. pay a rich man to marry me (okay lame)

6. migrate to somewhere safe from education

7. donate all my money to greenpeace foundation and delicate my every being to saving turtles in the atlanic ocean

8. make a movie bout my pathetic life and create a strike against singapore education system.

9. buy a nice coffin and piece of land on the Alps and then jump down from house window.

10. anything of the above

somebody KILL me!!!



i dont care how i die anymore. as long as i do it will be okay. ill accept the machine gun, the parang knife, the top floor, the speeding ferari, the MRT, the rat poison, the den of lions, the aliens, ANYTHING!!!



i just want this to end... i cant take it anymore. i've been mugging all day, i think my head's gonna explode. and i am demoralised coz i have not and is not going to finish anything. i have so much thing to memorise and read and so littly FREEKING TIME!!!!!!!!! i really feel that i cant do this this year.



there is so many things in my head, they are not in any order. i feel that i can open a rojak store and sell my brain. haha... not!

i just need more time



i have not finished econs

i have not finished human

i have not STARTED lit



i have never felt so unprepaired for an exam in my entire 2 years in JC. i feel suffocated. i cant seem to think anymore. nothing goes in. you know what? i am scared. i am afraid that ill never make it into university. or worse still that i am going to have to repeat.



i am afraid everything will go wrong.

i dont want anything to go wrong.

i cant afford it.

i need some sleep



hardly closed my eyes last night.

was just waiting and waiting for them to come back.

4 hours.

a pathetic 4 hours



how am i going to survive the day???

shit i dozed off



and i have been telling myself NOT to ever sleep.

the drillin is still there.



suddenly the more i think bout GP

the more i think i totally wrote out of point

i didnt even define "fantasy"

totally talked bout rubbish.

shrek and matrix counted as fantasy???

what bout manga???



oh shit.

i think i can retain.

no more chairman of big company

hello road sweeper!

JUST STOP



DRILLING



AND SHUT UP





how can anyone focus on their Alevels when there is constant drilling going on??? like the future of singapore is in your hands people!!! TONS of NEGATIVE EXTERNALITIES!!! you are depriving one more business woman from entering the work force. for all u know, i may be the future founder of a $10000b turnover company which is totally going to contribute to singapore's economy.



can concentrate at all. already suffecate self by closing all windows to TRY to shut out sound. i dont even have enough oxygen to the brain. then i am trying blasting classical music to HOPEFULLY sooth my brain, but end up STILL Hearing the drilling!!!!!!!



i know the drilling is to build guang yang sec downstairs, but the chances of all the future students of THAT neighbourhood sch there may not even match up to ME. hello??? future chairman of BIG COMPANY HERE!!!!!!!!! *points to self* like get ur future planning right.

i dreamt of keanu reeves last night



and we were so in love.

he came to look for me dressed in black.

almost died-ed in my sleep.

didnt even want to wake up.

my ELYSIAN FIELDS







big red ant, small red ant, big black ant, small black ant, tiny black ant.

spent my time birdwatching too.

mynah, sparrow, yellow cannery, blue long beaked bird.

took a pic but too small to zoom in.

not bad place coz i manage to study my econ geog here.



click to zoom in

diablio once again



was just taking my lunch break.

saw the com emtpy

sat down

touched the mouse



then i started to play diablio again.

ok. i shall stop at 3

hey there people



studying can be so difficult. i almost died today TRYING to focus. one min i was reading notes, the next i was doing my accounting, then the next i am blasting the radio, then the next i am in the kitchen making drink.



i cant focus at all. suddenly i found myself painting my nails for fun... AGAIN!!! help me man!!! but this time i came up with two really cool looking design.







i am super bored of studying, dont ask me why i did this. i haveno idea myself. maybe just felt that i need to expose my creativity. ahhh... rubbish!!! you know what? lunch time i still got time to paint another disgusting picture. i think i am totally going kuku... *bird comes out from clock*



it is totally ugly but dont expect much when i just did it in 15 mins. just swapped the brush over the paper. think it is damn ugly.

world wide declaration



okay people. shanny is going to make a declaration. in 20 mins time, shanny is going to for a 10 hour a day study spree. i cannot waste my time like the past week, i must strive for perfect A level results. shall not idle my time away in front of the tv and com. shall chiong like mad. mugger shall be my name.



10 days straight mugging till my next paper.

no excuses.

to pass or not so pass



that is the question.



what more difficult is 12 essay titles that you have no connection to. though the rest 11 i got no hao gan. at least i could totally connect with Q10- discuss the appeal and value of fantasy stories and film. lucky i am such a big fantasy fan. i love my magic. but liking and expressing is two diff thing.



the entire essay was filled with "flying carpets", "flying dinosaurs", and "knights in shining armour" yes. throse were the exact same words i used. i feel like i was talking to a kid. i really hope that the marker love "fire-breathing dragons" and "king arthur" if not i am so totally doomed to fail.



after writing one half page, i suddenly remembered that i forgot to place my stand and treatment. i heard cambridge people are very concern and particular over structure. and my essay was obb sided. that is what you get for a super fan (the cons). i am so doomed!!!!!!!! come to think of it. my language was worst then chaucer's. if you know how in the freeking world he writes, you know that i am gonna die a horrible death. i am going to suffer language marks.



i really hope i do not fail my GP. i have been frequenting the Cs way too often. think this time is going to be just the same. like i have said in my previous post. what more is one F to a collection o Fs. if i fail GP, i fail everything else. then ill never be able to make it into U, become a road sweeper or kalang guni woman. maybe i should just delicate my life into SPCA or the green-earth foundation. come to think of it, ill rather save the turtles and whales then suffer from the stress of singapore.



Dear God...

dont let me fail

amen...

GP is no doubt the most difficult subject on earth



markers have problem with everything you write on your paper.

grammer/ spelling/ vocab/ expression/ argument/ examples... etc.

that is your entire essay



dont think i can do compre at all.

have been failing for the past two years.

what is one more F to my collection of Fs?

should try to set record for most Fs.

yeah... thats the way.



hope the bell curve works right.

i did it for Os.

hopefully ill do it for As.

come on... what ARE the chances???????????????

shanny lastes craze



sorry ppl totally addicted to this song.

please stand the popups for a while

i just feel like hearing it

will take it out soon

how to keep the rain away from your window

utterly lame tips from shanny



1. close the window (duh)

2. close the blind

3. plant a tree outside (tree=interception)

4. buy a turbo fan to blow droplets away from window

5. buy a house without windows

6. move to hawaii

7. tear down the windows (then you have rain through a hole)

8. stare into the sky and use superpowers to will rain away

9. install an evaporiser to evapourate all rain befor touching window

10. just call it water and convince self that u r watering ur floor



okay really lame, but i cant help it la. so stressed up and wacko from all the weird stuff. think i am going mad

down to my third bottle



third bottle of alcohol for the As. *drinking as i type* yup... think i am turning into an alcoholic soon. it really does do something to your nerves. besides it is cold with all the rain. a little thing burning in ur tummy wouldnt hurt. keep you sane and awake too. (OKAY IRONIC). away with the flu bug.



alcohol is nice, but i very scared i get this gigantic beer tummy. then i will have to walk around singapore like moses lim. can you even see that??? nothing too heavy. nothing more than 20% so dont worry, i am not going to turn tipsy or drunk and end up getting rapes and murdered. besides that is no one to rape me unless they are blind or without brain.



*burp* okay. too much gas in that one.

in contary to yesterday...



i slept like a bloody PIG!!! GOD was i SO SLEEPY by 9 i just dozed off. couldnt even wake up today. had to snooze for 35mins before the zombee dragged my body into the toilet. i just wanted to die and then ill be able to sleep for enternity and forget bout my As.



speaking of the As...

HELP!!!!!!!



i have no confidence in GP at all. i am still failing my compres like utter madly disgust. God, even i am disgusted by myself. what kind of grades can i possibly have that can save my life. nothing.

barely slept an eyelash



i slept way past my bedtime last night. there was so many things that were going through the house i simply have to keep my brain awake. then this morn at 4+++ the whole house was up and about. totally woke me up though i really wanted to pig more. besides, i had to rush my compre at 5 am.



only gotten 4+ hours of precious sleep. i could never survive 12 hours without 6 hours of sleep. the whole world knows that sleep is the most important thing in my life. i would give up my A levels to sleep if i really have to. i am not going to risk my reputation of panda-ing my beautiful face. not worth it when you cant even think straight. must look pretty...



think i was so mentally drained by 12 but i manage to pull through lit after 3. after two cups of coffee. my eye bags were so huge you dont even need a binocules to spot it 1 km away. and then you know what? it had to rain...



yes i know. think i am against mother nature. wouldnt it be better if it rained at night when you are a sleep rather then when you are trying to keep your brain waves working. my poor shoes lao zhui and then my sock was swimming in the shoe by the time i step through the house door.

chaucer should just go and die again



who in the right mind gets his spelling all wrong.

like oh my god.

it is worst then mine.

and what's worse is that i cant even try to remember how to spell rubbish.



why must it be chaucer?

he is one senile idiot author!!!

he should try dying all over again.



spent one whole day trying to think like chaucer.

pardoner should just go have his physical death.

i still have not figured out why the degression is there.

one note:

claw has really good vocab!!! wow...

the words she uses in the notes are SO CHIEM...

i had to refer to the dictionary every 15 mins.

i wish i could write notes like that.



i still think that chaucer should die.

it is the most ridicules lit text ever.

bloggin relieves stress



however.

i am still dying.

so what difference does it make anyway?



will not be able to destress.

it will take me more then a million GB of space.

the wind calls my beautiful name



there are so many things that i have not even started studying. and then the typical singapore monsoon climate has to keep calling me to bed. i have been trying really hard to keep one body length from the bed. i try to control my falling eyelids with coffee or a few games of gin with sis. but you know what??? it is VERY HARD to keep your dying body from the thing in the entire house that you LOVE.



keeps raining everyday in the MORN + AFTERNOON + NIGHT. and suddenly it seems perfect to hid under your covers all 24 hours of the day. stupid weather. why must the earth tilt at 23.5 degrees??? what a perfect excuse if you fail your As.



feel like pocahontas standing at the edge of that rock thingy. there is the wind and the great urge to TRY dropping down. just really hoping that there is no lake/sea/pond at the base of the 500m drop, but a nice big fat plate of limestone, or better if it was a sea of granite debris (boulder controled slope). haha. then will confirm secure my very bloody death.







i think i look very pretty when i am flying.

chio bu man

woken dead



DID YOU SEE THE PERFECT WEATHER???



i was trying so hard to drag myself out of bed just now. my limbs were heavy and stuck to the bed. my brain was dead. my body just wanted to hid underneath the rest of cover and bury myself deep in the depths of my bed. i just want to lie there and rot till the moon came out.



but there was this other voice in my head that screamed

"shanny, you idiot!!! come out this very instant or you will be doomed to fail your As"



there is goes man. everytime i want to slack off, there will be this As thingy that reminds every part of my body that i do not have time. hello shan... you have offically once week till you face the paper you are most likey to fail and you are not doing anything bout it at all. you are so doomed to die and spend your future sweeping floors and collecting rubbish, then working odd jobs to cover your expenditures.



great... i am so doomed to fail.

i think i am sufferin from depression



i feel like the world no longer want me anymore. i have been desperatly trying to do something the whole day and nothing is done at all. every time i look at some question i just stare blankly into it hoping that the answers will simply pop out.



it is all signs of depression



i dont want to suffer from depression now. it is not the time at all. suddenly i get the feeling that i will never do well for the As. everything seems so far away from my reach. keep thinking what will happen to me if i get three Cs or worse. then i think ill have to jump down from somewhere.



i am suffering from depression.

feel the urge to go play tennis.

plea for HELP



i have NO what-so-ever idea what on earth are LIMESTONE LANDFORMS!!! like huh??? *scratches head* the only thing i know is the caves they have in mulu. that's all. just say this question where they ask for the landforms... i just stared at the paper like it is poison. 10 marks leh... write what??? shit man.. i think i am super unprepared for my As. cant even do such a question. i have never seen a karst landform.



i have NO CLUE what to write at all.



did a bit of spotting last night. i realise for desert everything is tested already. and there is nothing that i can predict that will appear in this years As. and until now i have no idea how to write on of those "to what extent does water/wind account for present day desert" i see it everytime yet i am still unbothered to do it at all. i am so dead. i see it every two prelims papers.



have decided to give up on hydro. it SUCKS man!!! i see those weird fluvial and hydro questions they have and i almost fainted. i love the topic but loving it doesnt mean that doing it is fun. no!!! they always ask weird question about hydro process to explain one of those drainage basin thingy. LIKE CRAP!!! dont even know what to include in it.



i am forcing myself to write essays now. i have not start on my lit text and i think i am so dead. i suddenly hate doing geog and love econs essays. call me mad but who cares. i decided to change into ball point pen to save money. my normal G2 ink pen will cost too much. i must make myself write more essays.



i need to start lit too. have consultation but have not prepared anything at all. i am so shitted up.

SHANNY!!!



GET UR BUTT AWAY FM E COM



AND GO STUDY!!!

Felicia Chin



i just read bernice's blog and it suddenly hit me that she is the Felicia Chin from seventeen magazine nov 2003 issue. i dug out my magazine from my old stack of archives.



and i am a collection to her. she is my sis, friends cousin. how small can singapore be???

what's wrong with me!!!



i used to be able to do two core topics in a single day.

now??? i cant even focus on just one.

sigh... i think i am going to fail the As.

sigh...



list of words i dont ever want to see again.

according to level of hatred



extent

discuss

explain

balance of payment

present day desert

jet stream

rosby waves

elnino

average

marginal



there should have history repeating itself

why dont i bring back qingshihuang and ask him to order massive burning of books and book related.



i have always though geog was relatively easy compared to the rest. but only today that i found out with my own brain, that there is more to getting a 20 and above for essay than writing. yeah... finally figured that i am never ever going to produce a 20+ essay. EVER.



hey... wat am i ever doing here. should not be infront of the com screen. i should be at my table studying.



ARGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

my sis came home a mad woman



the moment she came home today, she started on this mad frenzy of repeating over and over again that she saw chistoper's mom today at school. crazy i tell you. she has been going over and over again and again how she is socially connect to slyvester (Sing idol) and felicia (the champion).



well here is how i am connected to them-



sly is my sister's friend's bus-friend's cousin

felicia is my sister's friend's cousin

and soon toro is going to my sister's longlost brother (so she claims!!!)

all the taiwanese singers like energy, 5566, wangleehom, and many others are her "students" *smirk*



here is the retarded woman

my table

picture this

suddenly have this warped fantasy while i was studying.



the day i collect my A level results from sch sometime next year. i walked into school in the old normal fashion i did for the past two years, except my hair will be dyed and i am going to be way prettier. just walking past the gate when i see one swarp of the media people outside the general office, one whole pile of big cars are the school carpark.



happily sitting in the cafe talking to my long lost friends drinking ice tea and reminicing about my past times together. anouncement on the PA

"ding dong... will all graduates please move to the school hall to collect your results."



walked in to school hall then suddenly out of the blue, people started flashing their light bulbs at my face and sticking the mics into my head. puzzledly walk to teacher. president or some really big shot come to me and shake my hand before i can make my way to teacher. and lead this poor puzzled soul to stage. then in some way or another i found out that i am the best student in singapore with full marks for all my papers!!!



then best to come when they offered me a full schoolarship to yale/harvard/oxford. without bond of course. and the rest is history



you know what... i was really dreaming

concret-"est" plans

this post is very long but it may help you with you GP

for simple reading, main points is underlined



janelle has the greatest idea i have heard so far. me, her and prob co going out to europe after As next year. scotland, UK, France and maybe spain. free lodging free food probally free transport. just use connections. just friends for the journey.



finally someone with an idea of going there. and not feeling wishy washy bout it. love it. everyone i've talked to all bothering so much bout the money part. like going... "aiya, europe SO expensive." like hello people, i too will have money problems but this is the fun of it to travel with the limitations. if you know you will have money problems, then START PREPARING LIKE NOW!!! you just HAVE to start somewhere deary.



i have started my "travel fund" already. and opening a bank account is not that difficult. even i can do it. "if shanny can do it so can you" *speaks with yan-can-cook tone* just save $500 a month when you start working and you can afford to go by july.



and wouldnt you people just want to go on some expensive holiday knowing that you paid every cent for the fun you get. and a holiday WITHOUT your parents bothering you WITH YOUR FRIENDS. you can finally get to do that "i must be an independent woman" thingy. we all need to grow up sometime.



western youngsters are already moving out of their nest and traveling the world on their own credit. that is why they are so much on liberation and freedom. why cant we as equal teenagers try to understand their culture and venture on it just for a speck of experience. and i comfirm you you'll get more then SOME fun and experience. the asian nest is simply too big. come on people, let's move out of our comfort zone and learn to live.



*is this a GP essay???*



it's a whole different thing when your parents dont let you go and you not even wanting to TRY. we as teenagers need some inspiration once in a while.



every time i talk to jasmine (my ang moh cousin) bout her life there in norway, i feel like i am losing out so much with the constant protection of the family value and the "conservative" thinking of the nation. asian values are good TO A CERTAIN EXTENT. but there has to be a line drawn. singapore is a small and open east-meets-west society. there must be at least some form of liberalisation in the society right?



there is always constant talks bout our chinese roots being eroded and forgotten. that will never happen in the next 100 years. as long as we look chinese there will always be a classification no matter if you were bred in US or China. asian values will always be there. you can only benefit if there is a juxtaposition of both worlds.



jasmine still has her own life (unlike me and my MOE "roots") no matter how mush chinese she is. though more westernised, there is no loss of asian fundementals.



*back to the main discussion*

she's the same age as me and she gets to travel so much with her friends ever since donno when. i want that kind of freedom. no wonder our western counterparts are more independent than us and they strive better with problems. asians are most likely to crumble under pressure.



i want to be an independent women. i have always been drawn to the thought of independence to survive in this modern world. i always want to own my own car, house, investment ideals, career. i dont need a man. if there is something i know, it is that to make these ideals happen, you'll need very strong financial foundations. so why not start now? it may just save your live in the future.



but i think singapore will hate people like me coz we dont produce enough babies



actually. planning is the key factor here. if you can plan your life out properly, you will make it in life. i do like planning, think i make a good wedding planner. seem to like such matters under a state of perfection. however i have to admit that not everything is perfect.



i think i really diverged quite a lot from the initial holiday thingy. but the bottom conclusion is that i applaude janelle and people like her for the firmness in thought. even if it doesnt work out. i still liked the idea

i cant do it

VERY random thoughts



the As is simply too hard. granite hard. too many lines of weakness i cant keep together. nothing infiltrates in. just bare soil.



auntie came late. must be the stress.



i realise that everything i put here is all bout the As. directly and indirectly.



i need a new life.



need somthing out of singapore



want to die soon. fastest way?

impending death



got the shock of my life when i went to school yesterday.

everyone is studying...

and i do really mean everyone



even those who i have never seen with a book is having stacks and piles of stuff in front of them. something is wrong with the atmosphere. something really wrong. the air is so still. like i could hear a pin pen drop.



i hate going to school now. everytime i am there i will be constantly reminded that death is on the way. i hate the A levels, it does things to people. weird and scary things. the whole balcony is scattered packed with saints and teachers. one sight and i feel scared, very scared. i am shivering to my bones.



not productive in school at all. spend too much time worrying and trying to catch up with people. i should stop it. maybe i should just stay at home and TRY to study. there is just so many days left till the dooms day.



warning: prepare your grave

riddle: what is another word for loser???



you dont even need a brain to figure this out.



defination = a person who has achieved nothing in life and is bound for more failures. one who has achieved the highest point of decline yet is never able ever to pick self up again.

function = noun

synonyms born loser, bum, castaway, defaulter, derelict, disappointment, flop, good-for-nothing, incompetent, insolvent, loafer, lumpy, might-have-been, ne'er-do-well, no-good, nobody, nonperformer, underachiever, washout.



answer to above question= SHANNY!!!

time to hit Prac Crit



i hate the As. it forces me to do things that i dont ever want to. now i have got to start practicing my Prac crit... it is not call Prac(tical) Crit(ism) for nothing. great... just wat i was looking forward to. more essays. why do you think i dont even do my normal day hw???



all i can see now is myself doing essays. just that i dont have any content coz i have no time to study in the first place. i am just rushing to pass them up to teachers so that i can have my consultations. i dont even think this is the right method to go.



but what choice do i have?

i didnt have the choice to choose which country i get born in.

ditto the education system.

10 tips to prevent shanny from dying early



1. scrap the As and give everyone a break

2. burn down MOE

3. sink UK so that combridge will not exist

4. wish really hard that terrorist will hijack the plane carrying the exam papers

5. give me 10 more months

6. send shanny to space to become astronaut

7. send shanny as dipomat to mars

8. give shanny superpowers to do ANYTHING

9. send her to an island (anywhere but THIS island)

10. just kill her NOW!!!

i really need to move faster



how am i ever EVER going to sit for the A levels at this rate? if i was a rock/soil my inflitration capacity is NIL. i can just stare at the notes all day long and not get anything into this head. even IF they DO go in, it will become EFFUENT SEEPAGE by the end of the day. crap.



wake up shanny!!!



there is only two+ weeks left till you meet your doom. you will never get your AAB at this rate/pace/speed. you barely started on your notes and lit... you better not fail me... go study lit asap... there is simply no more time left no matter how you console your lazy ass.



no more afternoon naps. just live on coffee k? that anymore naps and you'll turn into a PIG. besides, you are just wasting your afternoon storing fats. then brain waves move to a ZERO.



How to move into a "better" life before the As

1. no more afternoon naps

2. follow time table

3. no using com for more then an hour

4. no watching tv except during lunch and dinner (+ s'pore idol)

5. time yourself when doing essays

6. no talking to dog/sis/bro

7. keep the room as neat as possible

8. no studying on the bed

9. no going anywhere near the bed

10. no studying out, except in school.



all = DIE!!!

janelle told me we WILL get our As for econs



i believe her.

i really believe her.

it has gotten my confidence up.

it had gotten me to strive for more.



aiming AAB B4 for As

will get there...

as long as i start studying NOW... *grins*



ummm... DOTS...

now??? what now???

how bout tomorro???

the progress record



blah blah...

econs - 57 - D

lit - 58 - D

geog - 65 - B

GP - 51 - C5

blah blah blah...



conduct - EXCELLENT

remarks - Shanny has maintained her grades this term. Keep up the momentum.

blah blah blah...



there are things i have to clear up

- firstly, there is NO maintaining of grades this term. coz i totally deproved from Block test 2. BDD cant even like get me anywhere near the doors of UNI at all. i really did expect to do better.



- secondly, i dont ever think my lit is going anywhere close to a B. the highest i have gotten so far was just a freeking C. lit is SO HARD TO SCORE!!! why did i take lit???



- Mr lee told me he'll expect me to produce him three As. i would definatly LOVE to, but there ARE LIMITATIONS in my capabilities.



- i finally got an EXCELLENT for conduct! first time in shanny history. (maybe i should cololate a shanny history book) how can i get EXCELLENT when i dont turn up for lessons much less school. haha...



- i really need to hit a B in GP. i hate this subject. can never reach a B.



ps: sorry if this post have affected you. i just needed some room for reflecttions. and... this IS MY BLOG...

"SHANNY'S TRAVEL FUND 2004/5"



i am really happy that i finally gotten this started despite thinking over it a very long time ago. though i did mention it few post back that i have opened a new bank account, i feel that i must tell you more bout it...



shanny opened a new bank account



it is some special savings account for teenages like me from 16-21. it comes with a nicely designed debit (visa) card and i had actually researched on which account benifits would benifit me the most. and walla... this account. man does it have perks.



i really have the foresight man. i can use this account as my "travel fund" then i can use my visa to sign stuff when i am abroad. i have always felt like i needed to get my savings into control and since i really REALLY want to go for a holiday after the As. i simply have to start somewhere right?



i know that i totally cannot control my spending, so having a bank account for me to WATCH MY MONEY GROW is the only current solution left for me. i just have to keep putting money inside and not take it out till i travel. not only will i remain happy seeing the money GROW and GROW, while i can eat and spend less.



i aim to have 2500 in it by the time i go for my holiday.

some family gathering



i though it was just a SMALLY gathering, but guess what??? so many turned up that i even lost sight of my brother. yes, even my brother was lost in the crowd. him being gaigantic and everything still went missing.



i totally regret going. should have stayed at home to celebrate my non-appearance. but mommy have to leave out the fact that it was a HUGE PARTY!!! my life could have ended just right there and then when i saw the two families of people i have spent my entire life avoiding. the two families i hated ever since i was born. their presence can make my barf out all organs that rested in my body, then ill die such a terrible death that my soul will never rest in peace. *evil laugh*



like one a year at chinese new year is not enough. i have to see again. *rolls eyes so hard they could come out* i HATE THEM!!! *grins teeth* you are not supposed to hate family, but who cares if you have them for blood relations. they are just a disgrace to humans. even i am disgraced for acknowledging them as "related". they could just die.



mag delicated to: 3rd grandaunt, huaichi & husband, terrence, gabriel, jiasi, 4th grandaunt & husband, rachel, clara, eugene's three kids, youhui's four kids.



*may you all die early, go bankrupt, and fail your major exams, never get married, or get aids/ cancer. (i'll give you the chance to choose which gift you want)... i must make it very clear here on worldwide web that i hate you all so much and i am so sick of having to face you every year. you may not like me but frankly, i dont care. you people are not what i would call family at all. really hope i will never see you ever again.*



i still cant believe i risk dying by turning up.

ps: pls refer back to my january 22nd 2004 entire for clarification

i'm really hooked onto my POST ALEVELS travel dreams



someone should just get my away from the computer. i have been surfing and surfing all my banking, travel and yadayadas. help me. just applied for my UOB account and i am thinking if i sould go sign up for my uob mini card. then when i was researching this mini card thing, i realised that there are so many things i can do with it...



like book a damn *CONTIKI* holiday at 12% off.



that is like bout more than two hundred dollars when i am going to sign up with them. then i went to the site and found out that this is the PERFECT after A levels holiday that i am looking forward to.



just for fun but if this is still on next june, i'll pull someone and go sign up for this tour. even if i have to go alone i will do it. people actually "turn up alone" (as quoted) the only way i will not go to this tour is if someone can get me something better.



try here to go to the tour package

London to Athens (budget/concept)



this is all of europe that i want to go. spain, france, italy, greece. that is more then enough. it is not that expensive for a 3 week tour too.



*contiki holidays - a tour package thingy that is for young people like me from 18 to 35 years old. you'll get to tour with cool people from other countries in your tour group too. then you can exchange cultures while touring. cool right. then you'll never need to speack chinese to anyone as non of then would be singaporean taitais and aunties. what a plus point. i get to travel and not be reminded of my ancestery

my internet line a bit screwed

LETS BOYCOTT TOPSHOP!!!



why must they always do this to me???



not once but THREE TIMES!!!



why??? first was my Aline skirt then was my 3/4 frills then now my precious cargo pants... i HATE TOPSHOP... they should just stock up more often or i am going to swear myself against it. the things i want from there always dissapears. like what is this la. not happy with me ah..... not happy then we go fight la. toilet round the corner only leh. *points*



i just that two weeks to save up money and the next time i happily visit the store, i come out frowning and cursing the stock manager. being the purchasing director, they should have done a market survey to see the demand of goods, not only the good but the size...



who in the world wears a size 14/16 in singapore????

they should jolly well know that the average singapore is round size 8-10 (in UK size that is) and then they have to buy tones of size 16s and 6s. like hello??? i can wear 16 as a tube dress with a Z cup bra!!! like even i knew that lor.



call themselves professionals. *smirk*

i shouls be the one getting paid.



a normal econs student will tell you that you must supply what the market wants. then can maximise profit. like hello??? size 16??????? like you only need a couple of pieces!!! not an entire rack of it



dont they even have a brain???



this is what i call market failure.

failure to satisfy the customers.

failure to adopt common sense.

failure to use their freeking brains (if they actually have one in the first place)



SO PISSED MAN!!!

am i adopted???



it has always occured to me. what happened. how come the rest on the family remains so smart when here i am trying to accecpt my own prelims grades.



am i adopted?



just found out that judy is a superwoman high flier here in singapore. she earns 5 digits a month. yes. that will bottle up to about 120,000 at LEAST a year. she use to be from SA, took business and then soared to the heavens of coke cola. wonder woman. when will i ever reach that stage.



then carol on the other hand i trying out her PHD. yup. i have not even smelled my A level cert and she may be walking away with more money i can ever imagine.



then there is sandra too. flying all over the world for business before she is even close to 30.



then there comes ben. lawyer people.



what happened to my genes. think i am adopted. all those around me are so smart. i want my phd too. if i should study then i should go all the way to a pemanent head damage. then with a pemanent head damage, people will actually pay you to sit at a corner.



like i am still trying to face the reality of my horrible prelim grades. where do i have the time to be smart? even my prelims grades do not show how many brain cells i have in my head. put my head in an Xray and you'll probally see a void space of air.

selling my soul



hopes dashed... dreams gone...

so broken i am thinking of selling my soul to redeem myself.

cant face myself anymore.

though i could, but NOT...



not anymore...

hurts...



not good enough. simple too ordinary.

plain ORDINARY

why??? i have been asking too often

dont know answer.

hate my expectations. hate it so much.



i feel trapped in a cycle of being normal.

cant shine bright enough

could shine in the first place.

just one speck of dust in the universe.



just a SPECK...

white cheeks???, sorry, chicks



farny...



laughed so hard i went breathless. if you think hot chicks was funny. you have to go watch this. you dont even need brains to understand. if is SO FARNY... all you need is air to fill up the space in your head.



talk bout two black guy turning gay... if i had to be a man in the first place ill kill myself. and they had to fit into tight pants, g strings, minis, and a bra. funny.



hey girls: please go get ur eyes on this movie screen, i bet youll love it to the core. it is soooo totally KA...

painted my me



i was looking through the old paintings i have painted over the last few years of my life. here are some more sentimental paintings i have done so far.





this is a simple painting. it is the first one that i did. plain but beautiful.





this is inspired by my family usual BBQ pit at ECP. that is the jetty behind. simply painted. that piece of thing there is supposed to be a breakwater. but screwed up the paint colour when mixing.





the most colourful scenery painted. the coniferous trees at the back was the best i have done so far. the foreground is a bit of a mess though.





this is supposed to follow one of my old photographs of australia. but it turned out ugly. tore this piece away from my scrap book but just could not throw it away. it has great painting technique of coluds





the better pieces that i have done. the back ground is good. the sails makes it must more pleasent. the clouds are fantastic too. dont you think so.



it must have come shocking to you that shanny acutally paints pictures. i have more, just that the rest are rather ugly or uncompleted. love painting. but i need the time first.

i hate my retainers



ill rather have my braces. i cant even talk or close my mouth with the darn retainers. i sound like a retarded. cant pronouce anything with out talking with all my salavia flying out of the mouth. it sucks man.



the salavia keeps getting stuck in the top piece. so irritating and wet. like i am salaviating all day long. i can actuall feel all the salavia being excreted.

i hate school



i dont feel there is any point going to school now. teachers dont even do their stuff and lessons are getting really really boring. i am just this stone sitting on the chair in the class room. worse still the classrooms dont even have air con...



i got so pissed today that i just left school just like that. plainly blatently sashayed out of the front gate. did not even bother bout the sercurity guard. what is the point making us go to school if nothing is ever going to be preductive. like this is the last part of my life in JC and i have to tolerate boring useless lessons and waste my time stoning and rocking away at one corner of the building.



evaluation

geog so far so good. at least i have something to keep my hopes for the A levels up. for human paper gotten 60/100. that will mean that if i want to get an A ill have to get 90/100 for phy, which by the way is utterly impossible. then if i want a B for overall, then i will have to get 70/100 for phy....



i just want to get my phy results. i am dying to get it back actually. need to know that i still have one redeeming subject in my life to get me motivated to study harder. just one A??? i screwed lit and econs. i just need to do well in geog. besides it is my pet subject.

i want it so badly

so badly its gonna break

need it so badly

so badly its not gonna make

twelve kingdoms

may not be interesting



why do you think i have not been blogging much lately. just finished a new series of anime. yes i know. i should just shut up bout it. you people sure do not want to hear anymore bout you know what? i dont care coz this is my bloggie and i blog what ever i deem fit. haha...



it was a butt aching 15 hours and 45 minutes of stalking out at the vcd player. this is the longest anime i have watched in one sitting without leaving the couch except for food, sleep and toilet. you may all think i am mad but hell... i just love my animes so much i would die to watch another series.



the twelve kingdoms is so fushigi yuugi minus the bits and pieces of laughter. i loved this show more than fushugi yuugi. for all the seriousness in the show. the plot is to kill for. no shuai characters but with that story line, you dont need one to get you hooked onto it.



love the magicality (if there is such a word) of the anime. magic, beast, holy creatures, kirins, kings, queens, war, politics, visionary swords, immortality... all the items of fantasy that i love.

cant breathe easy

no... not easy at all



I.........can't breathe easy

Can't sleep at night

Till you're by my side

No I............can't breathe easy

I can't dream yet another dream

Without you lying next to me

There's no air



it is so hard to make things work. even when you try. you try so hard you wanna break and give up. just wanna lose it all for the better person you were. nothing seems like it is anymore. no more margins for you to live by and dictate your life with. just hoping it is not there to govern your life.



i want nothing there. i dont want expectations. sometimes it is so high up there that i cant even see it for myself. the stairway there is too long. sometimes non existant. i cant reach it. i don think i ever will. it breaks too much from the fall. i dont have a walking stick to carry me up. emptiness...



cant breathe... where's the oxygen. stil asking myself why.

why why why...

cant breathe... dying... sinking... drowning... dead.

so many things in my head i cant fall asleep everynight.

too many expectations.

from myself

from others.



i want to cancel my life.

just yearning to hit the delete button

just ordinary



i am just an ordinary person with ordinary grades. mediocre results. so i am not that big shot i have thought myself to be. dissapointing. just so happy to know that i am just ordinary. so ordinary that there is nothing special bout me.



thought i could do it for prelims. but what i have gotten is second-rated ordinary results. the effort put in was nothing but ordinary but the end results were. it is even worse then BT2. just found out AGAIN that i am ordinary girl producing ordinary results. just plain old AVERAGE and ORDINARY



i spent the half hour on the way home thinking what i am. i asked myself "why" so many times.

why am i underperforming to my expectations

why others is doing better then me

why they can do it putting in way less effort

why can i do it for some and crack the others

why i fail those papers i have so much confidence for

why i just can do it right

why i cant prove that i can do it

why i feel so demoralised

why i missed it again by one point

why... why... WHY...



i kinda settled for the reason that i am ordinary. nothing else but plain old ordinary. just like i ever was before. ordinary. ordinary. look back at my Os. that was average results. just ordinary.



i had expected better... wat better... but what do i get???

ordinary results



i dont know where to cry

i dont even know how to cry.

3 long years wait



it is gone... all gone... nothing left to pick after i eat. nothing to brush so hard in the morn. nothing left to cut my gums. got rid of it all... all the metal...



i just have been SMILING the whole day.

*grins*



my teeth feels so smooth now. keep running my tougue over it over and over again. smooth...... but u know what??? the bug bunny front teeth still shows. i feel naked without the brackets. it feels like it is more obvious when i smile and grin. but at least they are straight now.



i had to say that the braces had sentimental value to it. i spent like half my teens wearing it. half the time when i eat trying to use my tongue to poke all the strands of stuff out. then sneeking a finger or two to dig it out when no one is looking. haha... those were the times. now i.....

re-live???



prelims??? so far so good.

GP passed on the dot 45/100 (C6)

econs P1=21/30 P3=47/75

lit P1=38/75 P5=47/75

geog(phy) somehow heard from mr lee that i did well.



i am really hoping to get my first in geog again. need to live up to reputation. but then again that is only news from physical. think i screwed human pretty badly. but i want my A for prelims. geog seem like it is the only subject that can go closest to an A. if only my human part is just as good as my phy then i can just rule the world.



though i dont really say it much in school, but deep down i am so proud of myself everytime i heard that i did well. love the fact that i get heads for everything. i want to do so well for everything that i will be rated champion... ego really comes to the surface.

listening compre???



had the most scary dream last night. almost fail my exams. GP in the A levels. suddenly out of nowhere there was three papers in GP. paper one was listening compre and weighted 40 out of 100 marks. i turned up in school inthe aftern and see the entire class siting there asking where i was for the first paper.



i got this shock. lucky it was only a dream. if that really happened in real life then i can just forget bout getting into any U. really scary ok. nothing funny bout failing GP...



DNAngel



crazy me but i am on a new anime series that i find really damn cool. got hooked though i have only watched only onne disc. it is bout this 14 year old boy that inherited the family genes. after his fourteen birthday, every time he thinks of someone he likes he transforms into this super handsome suave professional art thief called dark... so cool coz dark has this really cool set of black wings and purple hair. like come on...



shanny has always easily fell in love with anime characters. what is one more to the list??? it has been a long time since i made a list.



shanny list of anime shui ge

not in any order coz i still cant rank them



tamahome (fushigi yuugi)

hotohori (fushigi yuugi)

tastuki (fushigi yuugi)

mikagami (flame of recca)

sanosuki (samurai X)

Kyou (fruit basket)

dark (DNAngel)

tooya (ayashi no ceres)

intensive pikachu



was just at town admiring girls underwear. suddenly it hit me that we girls love to wear short skirts but dont know the openess of it all. i have witnessed a whole dozen of cherry panties and pikachus. all from the escalator.



the least you can do if you want to open coffeshop is to at least make sure that down there is presentable. why pikachu??? how old??? maybe a lacy thong or g string will be gladly appreciated by the male population.



oh yeah. topshop has this really nice new season cargos. i am going to get my hands on it when i get the money. fareast has this shop that sell buy one get one free. and the stuff will mean that a nice skirt is only 12 bucks. what i deal. i couldnt resist too. haha. i am one person that really shop on inpulse. shanny in orchard = money flowing out of pocket.



total amt spent on four hour shopping trip in orchard = $50++++

CAN U SMELL FREEDOM???



prelims all over and done with. there is no more prelims for me left forever. yeah. (note gleeming eyes) realy cant believe that it is all over, though it was one month of sweat and torture cramming everything possible into your head. i had to say it was my most relaxed exam so far. everything is so spaced out that i spent most my time slackin and thinking i have all the time in the world.



human geog was ok i guess. nothing much to say except that is is OKAY... this time round think i screwed my "geog queen" title. though i have to admit that i really love that status. so upgrading to my ego for the past 2 months. i do hope i still can mantain it by some God knows what miracal. i need the holy intervention. just that i literally SMOKED THE ENTIRE PAPER. all the hard work memorising case study gone *flush* down the drain. didnt use anything...



but you know what??? it is all over. OVER



finally got to turn on the tv without feeling guilty. rented 4 VCDs -

forest gump (have not watched)

hardball (ditto)

the perfect score - where oceans eleven meet breakfast club. story of how 6 cannot make its steal SAT answers. dumb but i just like the part where everyone hate SATs. aka SUCK ASS TEST. totally connected with me. i can understand their need to trash this unreliable test. i second it...

amercian beauty - RA with lots of breast and butts. however unattractive the naked bodies, plot is BORING!!! nothing else to add.

dashes and dots



everytime i look into the question paper my mind simply goes morse code then - blank. it is so hard to think... what more is when ur hand refuses to move that pen across the paper.



didnt really study for lit paper 8 coz you cant... then when the cover page flapped over... (..--.-...-.--.-.--.--- ) didnt understand a word, cant find tone, cant do characterisation, cant detect comedy, cant point out imagery. when you cant do all these in PC... it just spells out DIE!!! might as well crush the question paper and throw it into mr smith's face then stump out of the room.



econs mcq was not THAT BAD... still could do some questions though i was cheated by the 5+ questions. still hope i can get my C/B for overall. just that when combine with paper 3... (..-....---.-.-.--. ~~~@#$&~~~ ) mr lee said that half the class gotten 40/75 at least for econs. I HOPE I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. then my dream of getting a C/B is higher. but hello... paper 3 leh... who in the right mind gets so high???



ok. last paper today to FREEDOM. however, it will be a hand craming 3 hours in freezing cold D block race of time. human geog sucks... i really have to say this... WHAT IS THE POINT OF HAVING CASE STUDY??? is it really needed??? your brain will start ozzing out of your ear the moment u memorise weird stuff like that.



but face it. who cars already obout anything when it is your last paper...

econ-a-MIX



i still dont understand how to do the darn MCQs

WHY???

can never get it right no matter how many done



no time cause all on geog

and havent start my case studies yet

hope can finish

yeah right

what made me make them



saw those years again floating by. those were the time when life had seemed so simple and carefree. ms wong old liao. could see her whites. ms tan still chio si lang. me??? changed so much i cant even remember who i used to be.



the PSL that walked us round cannot even make it. i could have done tonnes better considering that i have finished my years there just not too long ago. they have did great revamping to the sch.



the canteen pillars are painted

they have nice clean canteen benches

they have a BBQ pit

they have some open steel chairs sitting

they have vending machine

they have changes the paintings on the wall (but mine is still there)

they have a covered walkway



guess what??? the tennis paople still remembered me. at least i never bai dang captain. still got mark left in sch. i must have been a very nice captain. haha...



the corridors are all so familar. walked down each and every one so many times. memories over whelming... really wished jo would go there. then ill have all the reason to go back and maybe "pick her up from sch"



the scary thing is the entry score. do you know you need a 247 to



get in??? 247 leh!!! i wouldnt even have gotten in if it was that high last time. its crazy, but then again, cedar ranks 8 in singapore now. good for you all.

tourism



finally gotten down to the topic i have not touched in ages and what did i get? my future. yes... i have been thinking of post Alevels activities again. this time round the SPAIN and the FRANCE keeps coming up in my head. cant knock the thoughts out. HELP ME!!! if this goes on ill never get to finish studying.



all i want to do now is to buy an air ticket and "zoom" off to europe. i really want to go europe. people. i am goin europe next june. if u want to come with me u better start saving $$$$$.



i want to go europe.

think beautiful buildings,

rivers (sthg w DONT HAVE),

mountains (major version of bukit timah hill),

cute ang moh guys. *grins dreamyly*



ohhhhhh........ i want i want

i know i sound like a irritating idiot but i just cant help it.



need to start urban soon after dinner. last topic to go. but you know what it is the hardest no brains topic ever set my brains on. i HATE urban. co you are right. i hate geog now... ahhhh..... *ripping hairs off* this weird ambivilent feeling. why??? HATE URBAN to the CORE... my notes sucks too. hai...



i see those models i want to free fall out of room window. why bother studying models when they have one ton of limitations. then got to waste our time trying to write essays that have to evaluate all these rubbish. then the worst thing is that apply to real life examples.... what nonsense... *rolls eyes* but what can i do. cambridge say so then have to do.



okay shanny relax... think europe