Goodbye Grandma
Year 2009.... This is the 1st blog entry for Year 2009 since the day I last blogged and I also can't remember when was the last time I blogged...However, for the 1st blog... I am sad to say that this new post is actually meant as a memory to remember my Grandma who passed away peacefully on 19th Feb 2009 at around 6PM. It came as a surprise to me when my sister, M called me in the late night to tell me the bad news. I got such a shock and i almost forgot which sister of mine is on the line. Right after that, I called my mum and she is right at my grandma place and everyone was there... My mum told me that my grandma fainted right after her shower and the maid was trying to hold on to her. It lucky she never fall. My grandpa tried ways and means to wake her up but then she just can't wake up and was breathing very heavily. As the maid got to go and pick up my little cousin, she woke my cousin, T up to take care of Ah Ma.... and I think it is the worst time of his lifetime cos he and my grandpa watched my grandma passed away right with their eyes.... It must have been a very tragic scene for him as he was brought up by my grandparents and he had to go thru this and somemore for the first time.... I feel so sorry for him when I heard that, but I could not console him at all as I can't be there and I am not supposed to be there.
My mum told me that I just got married and thus I cannot attend the wake and the funeral... I am so sad when I heard this because I really wanted to send her off for the last time... the very last time and yet, I am bound by all these superstition. How I really wish that I can just throw all these superstition away, however, I am also bounded by the consequences that I will have to face if I will to ignore all these advices that the elder had given to us and I also cannot afford to have more tragic happening. I don't know whether is this called selfish... but then this uneasy thought just keep lingering.
Late yesterday night, after talking to mum, I just could not take it anymore and break down in tears. Although I am not very close to my grandma, only seeing her like 2 or 3 times a year. But then I still feel so bad that I cannot attend the wake or even the funeral. Thinking about it now still makes me wanna break down in tears but I got to hold back as I am now still at the customer place. With these superstitions, I can't even go back to my mum's place until the funeral is over which means Monday, 23th Feb 2009. I had actually prepared to go back to my mum's place on sun to stay over till mon as I am on leave on Mon. However, all these plans have to be shelved aside now with the current situation.
How i wish i can use 3G to see the current situation at the wake but i doubt that I can do it as no one in my family will entertain me like that. For my grandma, although I can't be at the wake or the funeral to send her off, but i sincerely wish that she can have a smooth "trip" and rest in peace now. I will pray hard for her and will go to the temple tomorrow to pray for her as well.
Grandma, may you rest in peace....
posted by *Penelope* @ 9:51 PM
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