So Yes I wait until the new year to write in my virtual journal. 2015 of course had its ups and downs and twists along the way but seriously I have everything to be grateful for. I have a healthy family and house with running water heat a/c indoor plumbing a warm bed and soft pillows. I have a washer and dryer and arms and legs to help me put the laundry in. I have a vaccume that sucks the dust the accumulates on my carpet and floors. I have two places to bath both a shower and a tube plus I can choose between 3 bathrooms. I have candles and incense to make my home smell lovely. I have clean water to drink and even diet coke. I have a fridge that has food in it at anytime of the day I can go down and eat. A Pantry with food that serves as a tornado shelter when needed. My children are all healthy and behaving themselves as they should be at least to my knowledge. Matt is taking some time off of school and working at the Olive Garden. Hoping he finds his path. Luke graduated from High School this year and started college pursuing engineering also working at Publix part time. Abigail is in the 10th grade and is doing well in school minus the AP class she is having all sorts of trouble with. Johnny is in 7 th grade and is now a Deacon serving the sacrament in church. NO one is really doing any extra activities which I really would like them to venture into something healthy other than paying video games and TV...uGh confessions of a mother. Brian is working at HCA and transitioning into some director position from his sales/marketing position at H2U. As for me I lost my fabulous job at H2U as a health coach and havent been able to find another one yet. I do own a yoga studio...illuminate yoga and teach about 5 classes a week. Keeps me young! I love yoga for sure .. it grounds me and relaxes me as well as gives me a great work out. My health is good right now but had some issues in June again with not breathing. I had some Nitrous Oxide at dentist office and bought myself a ticket to the ICU for 15 days. Talk about not having a shower ( that really was the pits). I have been to a couple of doctors and they are trying to figure out why this is happening. I am hoping never again! As for 2016 I have not set any goals. I want to make our home a happy home work on some things in my marriage become closer to my heavenly father and teach my children right from wrong as I feel more and more responsible to teach them. Namaste friends

BEEN  FOREVER

since I blogged.  Well I am not sure why I am blogging this evening.  It is Sunday night the house is quiet and I probably should be packing lunches.  I guess I want cyberspace to know how the heck I am doing.  I am not sure if anyone blogs anymore anyway.  I guess they probably do but who has time.  With all the kids back in school this is the first year in a long time that I have had a consistent job.  One that takes up 25 hours a week+.  I am lucky to get to work from home and stash candy in my desk drawer so I can put on the pounds btw phone calls.  I have been pretty much too busy to do anything but work, teach yoga, raise kids, clean, wash, cook, and sleep.  I guess that is what life is suppose to be for me right now.  I often think why?  Why are things happening when they do.  The other day my work computer crashed. I went crazy!  There was not a minute in the day to spare I had not time to sit on the phone waiting for the help desk to answer my call nor did I have time to drive downtown and drop it off at corporate.  I all worked out the next day and I look back at my behavior and stress level.  really?  why did I get so upset.  The Lord gives us these challenges in life to help us grow and learn.  He gives us friends and loved ones to support us to help us see life in a different perspective.  I hope as the days and months go by I can get into my groove and relax and enjoy the simple things in life.  Isn't that what it is all about....LOVE.

Happy New Year

I am all about making positive changes in my life. I like to eat healthy, practice yoga, watch TV, have a little diet coke, sleep in until 9, avoid unnecessary stress, and so on. So, why is it that I have to make changes just because it is the "new year" I find it ridiculous that people flock to the gyms on Jan 1. If you really wanted to get healthy why the heck didn't you go to the gym on Dec 20th? or Sept 25? or even Nov 1st? We are to live our lives to the fullest everyday not just make changes on a marked calendar date. If I want to do something I will do it when I darn well please to and so should you. If you don't want to eat healthy today don't. Have a piece of chocolate and some captain crunch for breakfast. (guilty :() Now i will get off of my soap box and say Happy new year to all. And enjoy your freedom

Skillet 2

Well I guess it is my lucky day. I just got back from meeting with my dear sister-in-law and find a package at my front door with no card? A NEW skillet! I see that someone out there has a heart and was kind enough to provide the K family with a well needed item. So if you are reading this, I know that you love me and I thank you for you random act of kindness.
Yes, I am so excited to have a new skillet but even more touched that someone out there cares about me. I often go through phases in life where I want to be invisible. I want all to know that I do not do this to be mean or unkind towards others. I think that the big scar I have inside has never healed from childhood and I want to hide my weaknesses. I have learned how to solve many things in my life, but some I have not found the answers to.
Thanks to those who stick with me through the hard times and I am truly thankful to my Savior who has never left my side no matter how much I push away.

Skillet

I need to purchase a new skillet. The nice expensive skillet I purchased from P Chef is a piece of crapola. The Teflon is coming off the bottom and I fear for my children's lives. Well not really because I never use it anyway. So I go to make hamburger helper and I look at her all scraped on the bottom. I can't toss her and I can't contaminate my kids with poison. I grab the a smller version and go for it. If you don't know me, I do not like being in the kitchen and cooking. I am not good at it and if I had it my way I would have everything freshly made with a nice looking chef providing me my meals. I don't enjoy it but here I go because it is my "duty" BLAH!
Start the meat going okay, pour pasta in, then goes the liquid and oh no too small. Really, did I not tell myself it wasn't going to work? Filled to the rim and can't stir. (This is why I don't like to cook) Splatter and boy what a mess I have now. I put the lid on so I can't see it. What you don't see won't hurt you.
Yummy hamburger helper!

You ask why don't you just go and get a new skillet and toss her out? Someday :)

Curious

Curious is the word of the month for #3 (my only girl who happens to be 10)

It started on a snow day. I noticed at little lid filled with white stuff. It looked like conditioner and soap mixed together. Of course this was in my bathroom which everyone uses. I don't understand why I bought a house with 3 full bathrooms. Anyway, it smelled suspicious. I left it there thinking #3 is up to something and I have to get some answers. I looked at the top of her blonde head and there was a strip about an inch and a half wide of bleached hair. It was bleach in the cup AH HA! I said what in world did you do to your hair? she didn't want to talk about it or course and I didn't want to embarrass her in front of her friend, so I chalked it as being...curious.

It was another snow day when I noticed a jar of Betty Crocker frosting out of its place in the pantry. HMMM I thought, opened the lid and BAM!, someone was "finger-licking" the frosting and put it back on the shelf. I lined them up 1-2-3-4, who did it?
#1 Not me #2 Not me #3 smile? 4 Not me.....BUSTED #3.
Go get 2 bucks you are paying for it. She scrouged up money and I said, it is yours put it in the fridge and enjoy.

On another snow day, I went into the pantry and yet another jar of frosting now with a knife in it for easier chocolate dipping was tampered with. Are you kidding me girl friend! She immediately ran to her room to find change to pay for it and I said hold on sister we aren't going that route this time. Obviously, I didn't choose the right punishment to fit the crime. Go get the cake mix and bake a cake or cupcakes and put that frosting to good use (this wold also fix my cravings as I LOVE cupcakes)
Cupcakes it was and she did the whole thing herself. I was quite proud of her. She liked it so much she baked a cake 3 days later so her mom could pick at it all-day-long! Calorie free-NOT!

Now, it is that time of the month and you know your supply and have counted from the last month of what you think you have left to last you for the week. I look in the closet and someone took apart my stuff. My first thought didn't go to her it went to curious boys. I didn't say anything and figured who ever did it would come to me. I was putting some things away in #3's desk drawer and 3 more mangled "stuff". Really? these things aren't cheap isn't one enough to be curious with? I asked her why? She said "mom i just wanted to know what they are". I said isn't one enough to be curious with? You didn't get your "." did you? EWE mom, as #4 who is running around saying "." what is a "." what is that "stuff". Thoroughly embarrassed by her mother and younger brother she storms down the steps to avoid the situation. I yell down "now come to me when you really need to use them and you get your"."!
Icing on the cake!
why did the curious fairy have to go that route? really?

Loss

Did you ever lose something of value, something that had sentimental value.
It was an oridanry day and I was getting out of the shower, went to the sink and gasp! I grabbed my neck...it was gone. I looked on the ground and in the shower no where to be found. Ran over to the bed pulled the sheets off ...nothing. When, where, why? It was a perminant fixture on my neck, I always wore it, always. Since 2004 when I went to Hawaii with the B-man. I remember seeing it and I said to him oh isn't it me? It was a very modest price nothing fancy about it. It was who I am and what I love. It was joined by something dear to my heart. A little gold piece about half the size of my pinkie nail, engraved with something else dear to my heart. It was my grandmother's and she didn't have much when she passed away. Her belongings were scattered down in my aunt's basement and after everyone picked through her stuff I found it. It was a treasure that no one found. It was in a little box with some other Cathloic saint's pieces. It was so tiny, but had a little hole at the top that was able to hook on my necklace and fit so perfectly behind my palmtree. I often would grab it and feel it and remember the love she had for me. We had a connection, I am not sure why it was so special. I was the third of the many grandchildren she had. It was a spiritual connection that maybe others didn't have. I was able to complete her temple work a few years ago and it was more powerful than anything I have felt in the temple before.
Knowing that it can never be replaced I guess is the sad part. It is like losing her all over again. Selfish it may be, but feelings are not to be denied. The pain will pass and it happened for a reasons which I may never know. So, as for now, my neck will be barren. My hand will go to touch and feel nothing. But, knowing that I can reach for my heart and the things I love are inside brings comfort no material object can.