Perception

krabi,thailand

People perceive polytechnic life to be easy.
Wrong.
Polytechnic life is really way harder than I thought.
I haven't really have the time to update my blog, and this is my first blog post since school start!
Unike secondary school, where everyday is a routine, polytechnic is totally different.
In seconday school, we just have to attend classes, learn new things, do our homework everyday, and hand up homework the following day.
This is the routine.
However, the word "homework" is rarely being mentioned.
"Assignments" is used instead.
We attend lectures and tutorials, and our lecturers issue assignments to us, which are always due a month later.
The assignments are crafted in a way that allow us to really think, and analysis deeply on the given topic.
It's really not easy.
Especially in CMC, where competition is so strong.
Most of our assignments are subjective.
For example, publication design, visual communication, and writing for chinese media.
We don't have a standard answer for most of the questions asked.
Instead, we were told to say and analysis our own views.
That's why it's so hard to score!

ARHHH


People should change their perceptions, thinking that poly life is slack.
Cause they are so super damn wrong!
P.S I'm lovin photography.
P.P.S I want to learn dancing!
P.P.P.S Designing..ARGG! :x
P.P.P.P.S JIAYOU!HWAITING!

woooshh

swensens @ carrefour, hadyai:)

I'm really and happy for her:)

It's gonna be a long long journey

shell cemetry, krabi:)

HMS FOC camp was pretty okay.
I just felt neutral, nothing much, not exactly happy, not exzctly hyper.
Probably it's because I don't feel the bond in our group.Not really.
I still miss DPA.The camp, the Bintan trip was million way more fun than this.
However, I clearly understand that I must not live in the past, always thinking about DPA, or my life in sceondary school.
I have to move on, embrace the new poly life and get the best out of Ngee Ann poly.
In fact, I'm trying very hard to do this.
Sometimes, I wonder why things have to change, why people have to change.
Though it's impossible for things NOT to change.
School is starting in 2 days time.
2 days later, I'll find myself in a completely new environmnet, doing completely new things, making completely new friends.
I can't think of the past.
Move on, adapt.
Do your best in whatever you do.
Though there're lots of commitment, and I certainly felt taxing, I'll do my best in whatever I can.
Jiayou ah, pakwei!~

The Future

taken in the rubber plantation:)

It has been a long long time since I last blogged.
I knew I have to go for my soka intern training, but somehow, I couldn't, and wouldn't want to care.
This is bad, very very bad, I know.
I shall be late then.


My internet connection had been playing tricks on me for the past few days, leaving me feeling totally disconnected.I was unable to reply to the hms mail, and couldn't do my titong stuff.
Frustrating.

Thanks Gohonzon, I could finally feel connected to the world now:)

I really thought a lot these days.
Thinking about my future, my friends' future, my parents future.
I realised I was afraid, I didn't know what to expect.
But after reading a book I just bought from PageOne on how to be happy, I find things to be so much simpler.
And suddenly, I have a very strong desire to master languages.
Languages is one of the most important that people use to communicate with each other.
There are lots of times where by I got hurt by what people told me, or confused about the messsage that they were trying to convey.
Besides, there were times that I got irrirated by the wrong usage of words.
(Gosh, I think I'm sounding very much like my Business Comm teacher now)
Therefore, I really have a very strong desire to do well in my studies!
A 3.25 gpa is definately not enough to get me to uni.

P.S I must learn how to read and write thai!
So that I could buy a plot of land there, build a house, plant many trees, rear 2 chickens and ducks, and a dog!

An xiang wan nian~

I'm lost

I'm hurt

I'm lonely

I'm tired

Why are all the negative feelings flooding inside me?

The olden days

Homestay, Krabi:)

I can't wait to start school.Staying at home and rotting everyday is a torture for me.

My life is D.E.A.D and I envy those who went jc, well at least they start school early.
I want to get busy again, just like how I was living 2 months before.
Attending lessons, learning about business comm and creativity skills, doing projects, hanging out with my mooswing cooperation.
It was soooo much fun:)

Sad thing, time wouldn't rewind.

I HATE PEOPLE WHO MISSPELT MY NAME.

I LOVE IT THERE

I LOVE THAILANDDDDDDDDDDD!!!

I LOVE THAILAND.

I LOVE THAILAND.

I LOVE THAILAND!!!

Singing the Lonely Song

rapsberry cake:0

taken during bintan trip

I can't wait!
But I still have to wait for another 2 more days. 2 MORE!
And the anticipation is already unbearable.
Without the connection to the World Wide Web, and reception, I will be totally disconnected from the world for one whole week.
I'll miss my friends, I will miss my macbook, I will miss blogging.
However, I still can't wait to go there!:D

To do list there:
1. Take lots of pictures!The people, the scenery:)
2. Eat lots of food!
3. Go out with cousins, interact with them!
4. SHOPPING!
5. Learn drivingggggggggggg...
6. GO KRABIII!!!!:D:D

counting down:)

I realised it has been a long long time since I last blogged.

Yet I didn't know what to blog about.

Bintan trip?

titong camp?

The end of NPP?

Commonwealth gathering which was a fiasco?

My coming holiday??

Being appointed as xu long leader?

Numerous work?

I DON'T KNOW.

BLINK.

My god,I can't believe that 60 days of 2010 had passed in just a blink of an eye.
Last week had been a total hectic week.

I felt that I haven't been taking a break for ages.There's always something to do,somewhere to go,something to plan.

It's good that there's always something to keep you busy with.
However,isn't it pointless when you don't even enjoy the process at all?

Honestly speaking, I'm tired of the city life in Singapore.

It's so D.E.A.D and taxing.Total gloom.

Not that I don't like Singapore,but you can really get tired of living here sometimes.

Maybe the life in an LDC will suit me more?
How I wish I could fast forward the Bintan trip and the zao bao camp and the CATS presentation and the B Comm assignment and B Comm reflection.

Well,the good thing is that NPP is coming to an end,finally.

I can't wait.

Because I don't like it there, at all.
And I was looking so forward to it last year.
Ironic?

很庆幸能够找到一个和自己拥有共同爱情理想的朋友。
单恋一个人实在很辛苦。
当你越想把它忘掉，那种感觉却怎么甩都甩不掉。
到头来，自己上的更痛。
就如朋友所说，其实，只要找到一个能够牵你的手，陪伴你一直走下去的人是最幸福不过了。

I'm thinking about the events that took place recently and realised that it has been about 2 whole months since I enjoyed myself that much.
Went bao guan with Meiling on Sunday and suprisingly,I enjoyed myself there!
People there wasn't that hostile to me, in fact majority of them were pretty nice:)
However,I was irritated by a point when I overheard a conversation of two guys.
Well,to make it clear,I wasn't eavesdropping, because they sopke so loudly that almost everyone sitting in front of them could have overheard their whole conversation!
Nevermind about the fact that they were kind of boasting to each other how great is their school, and how busy they are.
BUT I was really annoyed when Guy A asked Guy B how B(from ACJC by the way) did for his Os.
Guess what was his reply.
"Of course I did well to enter jc,if not I would have gone to poly!"
COME ON.
Are you still living in the stone age or something?
People don't chose to go poly because they did badly for their Os.
They go there because they have strong passion in a certain area!
Seriously can't stand people with those mindsets.

8tittude:)

NPP is ending,though I thought we just started.

Last year's exam paper for chinese media freaked me out,because it was HARD!!
Can you imagine writing a 1000 words essay on newspaper "vanishing" due to the advance in media technology within less than 2 hours?!!(As you need time to complete structured questions which comprises 40% of the full paper)

I had lesson on APA Citation today.Can't deny the fact that it was a waste of my time,because this lesson is useful!(though I had a very hard time trying to keep my eyes open)
However, I perked up once I entered Ngee Ann's exam papers database,haha:)
So after viewing the paper,I had a sudden surge of strong motivation to ace in my studies as I see the need to do well.

JIAYOU~

Ms Cheryl released us before the actual dismissal,but yet I still reached home at 3.30pm.
The reason?
To dicuss about our CATS project to be handed up in a week's time.
I'm pretty happy with the outcomes of our discussion this time,because we were actually discussing!
Thanks to the discussion skills we learnt in B Com!

Foong Oi said that there'll be 9 more days till the end of our NPP.(excluding weekends)
And,we'll be off to Bintan!(Pray that the trip will be an enjoyable one!!!)
P.S Must chant very hard to Gohonzon.

I love this picture taken at the red dot meuseum:)





I MISS THAILAND.
I AM ENJOYING CATS LESSON.
B COMM IS GETTING TOUGHER.
AND,
LING PAK WEI IS GOING TO WORK HARDER!

Viewing pictures of friends who went new year visiting on facebook made me turn green with envy.
They were having fun at their relatives house,enjoying themselves.
Unlike them,I hate Chinese New Year visits.
It's the same boring old shit every year.
First,a polite hand shake,then while drinks were served,people fill it will polite chats.
As we opened up the drink packet,it was followed by the awkward silence.
At this moment,everyone became glued to the stupid and childish movie played on HBO.
Like since when was the programme on tv that interesting?!?!

Unless the elders found some new topic to comment about,the living room will be filled with silence,other than the sound from the tv.

The younger ones didn't even talk.

Terrible.

And after rotting there for 2 hours,mum saved me before I decay by bidding them goodbye.

After the new year visit every year,I would miss my relatives in Thailand terribly.

There will always be a welcome hug from my relatives whenever I went back there.

Followed by sincere greetings and chit chattings before proceeding to lunch.(blah)

Totally unlike my relatives in Sg.

I misssssssssssssss my cousins there!!!

Today should be a day where family members get together,and to feel the love coccoon around the house.
Yet, I feel so lonely, in this supposedly joyous occasion.

***

After reading jiamei's post, I realise I have the same thing at the back of head too.

Always thinking and questioning myself the same thing over and over again.

Am I making the right choice?Will JC be better?

Though I have been experiencing poly life for almost a month now, those questions still haunt me.><

Shall bid my goodbye to you now,got to do my meow meow assignment.

I had absolutely no idea on what to blog recently.
Here are some updates:

1.School was fine to a certain extent.Some parts of my day at school were fun and hyper,while some classes were just plain boring.Business communication is so..ARGGGG.I learnt about minutes writing and discussion skills this week.Assignment coming up the following week.Well B comm will be okay if your teacher arn't a grammar perfectionist.So it's pretty tough for a grammar idiot like me.
Imagine those business students have to take this super dry module for three years!
P.S I want to play pool again!!


2.I was thinking a lot recently.About friends and studies and the bintan trip and my future.
After reading a feature story on herworld magazine,I was ready.
Here's a quote from the author:

"There's a natural life cycle to friendships,and only a small,precious few are meant to last forever.Unless you stay in the same city,in the same job until the day you die,you are not going to keep all the same friends.
That's why it's so important to remain open to new friendships at every stage of life."

"People who succeed at friendships are those who invest time and thought into making pals.They show their friends that they're valued."


These two simple quotes kept me inspired,and give me a better view to what the term, friendship is about.
Thanks to the article,I'm embracing new friendships,and at the same time,trying my best to commit to the ones that I have.

However,I think it's time to let your friends go if they kick you out of their lives.In this case,I don't think it'll be worth brooding over them.
Right?



3.It's gonna be the Chinese New Year! and Valentines' Day.
Yet I'm feeling neutral=.=


4.WARNING:DON"T EVER BUY SONY CAMERA.
BECAUSE IT SUCKS!
The thought of buying DSLR camera still lingers in the back of my mind,because,my current camera is super scary!
I was in the middle of taking pictures when the cam started to vibrate vigourously and it was making weird noises yesterday!(And I was praying and hoping it won't explode)Plus I realise that the battery life's super short for my cam.GAH.
The good thing's that my mother allowed me to buy a DSLR cam!Therefore,I'm gonna start saving $$ now!:D
I wonder if there's a camera trade-in serivce,haha:D

project 365

Hate to admit,this wasn't a very nice picture.

*I don't drink*

Had my early reunion dinner with my relatives.

It was weird to be having a reunion dinner in absence of Grandpa,

even though we didn't talk much on the dining table.

But,it's like a habit.

Seeing him at the table,eating his food silently,while my uncles(including my father)

will be conversing in Cantonese loudly.

However,the dining table was exceptionally quiet this year.

The atmosphere was rather weird.

DREAD SCHOOL

I really envy those who's loving their life at their tertiary insitution.
Because I still don't enjoy poly life.
In fact,I dread going to Ngee Ann.
It's not that Ngee Ann's a bad school or anything else,don't get me wrong.
The fault lies with me.
I'm still buried in history,often found myself recollecting my days as a secondary students.
Yeah,I admit that I miss every single part of my queensawy life,be it the food or the double beep produced by the ezlink card reader on buses.
But,I HAVE TO MOVE ON!!!!
Have to.
Have to.
HOW?!?!?!?!?!?!


I'm happy to know friends like jiamei,fong oi,cindy,celine,alleyne,zane,audrey,zhijia,
qingxi,xueying,meizhen.
But somehow.....................
Somehow.
I don't know.

And I rather have homework rather than assignments and projects!!!!!!!!!!


Maybe life will get better when my fellow girlfriends enter Ngee Ann:)

Project 365 will be posponed.

FREE

I couldn't somehow find the right mood to air guitar and sing in the bathroom nowadays.
Remembered how I used to do that almost every night during my secondary school days.
Imagine I am the ah mei zhang hui mei, or sometimes Kelly Clarkson on xiao ju dan's stage.
But for now,I just couldn't.
Weird,what has gotten into me?

***

To improve my photography skills,I decide to do a photography project.

Project 365.starts tomorrow.

And,I'm seriously considering buying a DSLR so as to dive into the world of photography.

I'm in love with saving moments and I desire to be the girl behind the lens!:D

I"M SUPERRRR VEXXXXED.

B Com project is driving me nuts.Tomorrow's my presentation and I've yet to decide what I want to do.Plus,there's the CATS group project to complete too!
Told myself that I'll aim for a B+ or A this time round,because I don't want to get a B anymore!
I have to get into university you know.I cannot afford all that Bs to pull my GPA down!
DAMN.
I have to concentrate,concentrate,concentrate.

Good thing that I'm no longer working at fairprice.But I do hope that there're employers out there who are willing to hire part timers,with only a 3 days commitment required,haha!
Yeah right,zap back to reality.
I had been living in my fantasy world for too long,and it's time to come back.
For this month,I'll do my best to paint my February days with colour and life.
I want a colourful life,not something black and white.

Shit.
Talking about colours remind me about the journal that I'm supposed to hand up to Ms Charleen.
CRAP CRAP CRAP.
One more thing to be addded to my to do list now.
Great.

Yesterday's my last day of work.
YESS!*pump fist in the air as I say hi to freedom again*
Although I miss my collegues,there's always an end to everything.
BYE BYE cashier life,BYE BYE fairprice.
I don't think i'll go back to work at fairprice again.
Got to try more new jobs in my life,and I'm considering to get some part time job during March:)
Still,I'm glad that i'd the chance to meet people like xin yi and aileen!
they're really great and fun and hyper and kind people!:D




Shall stop here.blogging mood spolit by the absence of BASKETball.
HAHAHAHAA.

Counting down to the day of liberty.
woots!~
can't wait.
Okay,got to prepare for work.
Will blog about IMH,pressentation day and current feelings tomorrow.
promise!
*gou gou shou to myself*
:D

well,I didn't intend to blog today,cause i seriously need to finish up my script for my pressentation tmr or I'll be a dead meat!
Still,after reading amrit's blog entry on how she misses those days,I totally agree with her!



I'm really elated when knowing that majority of my friends are going to NP:)
Especially my girlfriends!
However,life's not perfect and there's still several people out there whom I hope will get posted to NP but gotten into SP.
That's life.
You can't get everything you want.Bound to lose some and gain some.


OH!
and I really have to pay my gratitudes to yy!
I'll really DIE without your help!
that's my girlfriend!:D
and thanks for the papaya 'ice cream' too!:D



ALL THE BEST FOR THE PRESENTATION TMR,LING PAK WEI!!:D
HWAITING!(my first presentation/assignment in poly)

that feeling

I was in the middle of doing the presentation for my Business Comm project,and suddenly,the blogging bug was biting.
So therefore,here I am, on Blogger.
(I must get back on my project later)

Yesterday,was full of ups and downs.


Went to vivo with andre,liligui,yanni,yy,and shanqi.I was as usual,late.
Bought movie tickets and headed for sushi tei.
It seriously feels so good to be with the people I know,crapping with them.
The sense of familiarity,and comfort,the ambience,their jokes,really helped me to forget my troubles in life,temporaily.
Those quarrels with Mum,the projects,the work...
Things in poly are like so completely different,and I'm still not used to it.
Seriously speaking,I'm really afraid that my friends won't be able to enter NP.
I think I'll bawl if I heard that they'll all be going SP tmr.
Pray hard that it won't happen.

So went to the movies after lunch,and the hachiko movie was super touching.
and i could even hear yanni's sobbing from a few seats away!
But it actually feels good to cry,since I haven't really cry that hard for a long time.
The feelings of letting your tears duct exercise,and allowing your emotions to flow,without any suppression.

We went skypark to chat after the movies.
Love it there.
And I really thanks ligui and andre for helping,though I know that it won't really work out.
Okay,I just burst my own hope bubble.
ha.


Nonetheless,I really hope that I can have another outing with my friends again.
misses~

I WANT AN IPHONE 3GS!

And similar to what yanni said,i'm afraid to make friends in poly too.

I really hope I can stay close FOREVER with my beloved girlfriends.

Though it seems impossible.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

WO BU XIANG ZHANG DA!


And I'm starting class tomorrow.

Gohonzon,hope it turns out fine.

wow.it has been a long time since i blogged!
I've been busy,with everything.
Time seems to just pass like that.
After waiting for so long,I finally got my O lvl results.
Though I wan't really satisfied,but i told myself,I tried my best.
So I returned home,feeling satisfied:)
Mum and Dad was happy for me(Dad even punch both of his fist in the air and shouted "YAYE",ya,my cute and irritating dad:D)
NPP camp was a day after the releasing of results,and it was REALLY REALLY fun!
Sleeping at the loft,which is even better than a chalet,and having real fun with my team mates.
I got to learn about more things,and dicsover a great deal of np facilities,and the course in which I'm attending.
In short,the camp was super and totally cool!:D
However,I really felt that it's a pity that i could not send yoanne off,and kan ta zui hou yi mian.
YOANNE COSTAN,I MISS YOU!
I really want to hang out with my girlfriends soon!I miss them man,and I don't want to drift away from them,to stop the lateral erosion between us.

Juggling among 2 jobs,studying,family,friends,faith,and also upgrading myself IS NOT going to be easy.
BUT,i'll do my best,my very best.



***










As I was arranging and packing my old school books,deciding which one to dump,I really feel like crying.
I miss those days,those times I had in Queensway.
Though people can't wait to enter a tertiary school,but poly life is totally different to what I had in secondary.
You have to have self discipline,in order to do well.Staying away from all those distractions,and bad influence,it's not going to be easy.
The teaching and learning style is totally different,and i'll have to adapt.
I have to start all over again,from making new friends,to adapting the environment and the teaching style.And I'm someone who doesn't like changs at all.
Miss those classrooms moments,those amath homework,and chatting and goofing around with friends during break times.
Poly,perhaps it's going to be different.
As what my senior mentioned,it's hard to find a close friend in ur course.
As people grow up and begin to be aware of certain things,they grew more competitive,and cunning.
You don't know if people may just back stab u,or betray you.
It's really scary at the thought of it.
No more comfort coccon in parents arms,and friends encouragements.
Because they may have a total different timetable from you,depending on the course that u go.
OH MY,
IF TIME CAN REWIND.

i ♥ TP!
okay okay,shouldn't say this!But after visiting the campus,I fell in love with it!!
People makes yo u feel so welcome to the poly,and people from all schools seems to be so bonded together!
They were shouting all kinds of cheers,making you feel like you're entering a big family itself,and not just the course.
If given the flair for designing,I will definitely choose to go TP!:D

Still,I won't regret going to CMC.
okay,I LIKE NP!:D


P.S two more days to the day!!!!!!!!!!!
Shivers~

After all those working days,I really feel like quitting.
Enough.



And sometimes,I really don't noe the way you think.
What am I to you?
Why have to go through all the trouble and ask other people to ask me instead of you asking me directly?
Wtf.I really don't understand you,seriously.
Unlike her,I can't tolerate you for all those things you did.
Thinking back,it hurt.
But not anymore,because,I'm already numb.
What are friends for?


Sometimes,I felt like there's a river between everyone I know.
And it keeps eroding,laterally.
Drifts away.