The best night

Today was the best night I've ever had with my two boys!  You might think 'WOW! Where were you? Disneyworld?  Legoland? A Water Park ?'  My answer is simple.  'No.  We were at home.'

You see everyday I try my hardest to be the BEST mommy, to be the BEST wife, the BEST friend, the BEST....  And everyday I realize I'm not the 'BEST'.  I find myself second guessing my actions and reactions to most things.  I feel bad when I snap at my sons for being kids.  I get frustrated with myself when I don't clean the house enough.  I feel bitter when I see everyone else out having the time of their lives while I'm "stuck" inside.  I find myself wishing I could just sleep all day with NO interruptions.  I get angry when my discipline never seems to sink in. I doubt myself when my kids don't sleep all night.  What am I doing wrong!!!?!?

Then....

Tonight I saw the most beautiful two little boys having fun just dancing together.  They looked around the room wanting their mommy to watch.  That was me!  
Tonight one 3 little year old boy cleared his dinner plate without one "EAT YOUR DINNER!!!" 
Tonight one little 10 month old boy giggled hysterically (and contagiously) at the dog as she ran around the room playing with her toy.
Tonight one little 3 year old boy stood still when we were putting on his PJ's
Tonight one little 10 month old boy despite being in excruciating teething pain, still managed to smile from ear to ear when he saw his "gaga" on FaceTime
Tonight one little 3 year old boy quickly picked up a sharp bottle cap that had fallen on the ground before his baby brother grabbed it and got "weally, weally hurt"
Tonight one little 10 month old boy who normally doesn't care much to cuddle before bed, especially when he's teething this bad, decided he wanted to grasp my shirt and let me rock him to sleep.
Tonight one little 3 year old boy taught his bedtime prayer to his baby brother
Tonight one little 10 month old boy took my breath away as I stood up to lay him in his crib, he turned his little face into my neck and took a deep, calm breath.  Then right before I laid him down he pressed his little nose under my chin and took another deep, calm breath.
Tonight one little 3 year old boy said to me "Mommy, are you proud of me?".. As tears were rolling down my cheeks all I could do was smile and say "More than you will ever know son, more than you will ever know".

Tonight two little boys, MY little boys, reminded me that being a mommy is truly not about being the best... Instead they showed me that the best is happening right in front of my eyes.... Even when they misbehave - they are watching me, they are learning from me, they are believing in me to DO my best.

So that is what I will do.

In all my gratefulness, 
Sarah Diana Parker

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

Love the Lord Your God

6 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Anxiously awaiting Jonah

Well the countdown continues... We now have 14 days until DDay and it feels like its taking forever :-) last week I had a lot of contractions, intense pain in my pelvic region, and a lot o other signs pointing to labor very imminent... HOWEVER that was 5 days ago.

Well Shelly rushed here from Medford, mom came to help with Luke and now we are waiting...

Last night before I went to sleep I had a huge smile on my face though. I am sitting here whining and complaining (even tho this pregnancy hasn't been THAT bad) and I realized I'm not enjoying these last few weeks of JUST loving on Luke. So The Lord has a funny way of reminding us to treasure the moments we are in...

Luke had been waking up earlier than normal screaming for mommy saying he was scared of the 'fiders' aka 'spiders' and all he wanted was mommy mommy mommy.... Once he cuddled in my arms it was passed.... He wasn't scare and was quickly back to sleep.... The power of 'mommy'

Then last night we are all sitting around chatting and laughing and Luke comes up to me, hugs me around my neck and smiles. He turns his little head to the side and says 'my mommy is the BEST ever!!' Omg made me tear up!!!! He's just learning how to put his full sentences together to come up with new topics to talk about - and BOOM - This is what he says!!!!!! I sat back and just realized... How unbelievably BLESSED am I!!?? My Luke will always be my first born - my big boy!

I pray for my baby Jonah this morning as I wake up with Luke next to me (he came into our bed at 7am for cuddles and fell back asleep)..... I pray that Jonah knows how to love as Christ loved us... I pray that Jonah knows how much his mommy loves him and would do anything to make sure he is safe and happy. And I pray that little Jonah grows up to be a responsible, loving, supportive, providing father and husband - JUST like his daddy is....

Like I said - I am blessed! And for now - even though I'm uncomfortable - I am treasuring the current moment!!! Treasuring my big belly - treasuring my Luke who loves to kiss his 'bubba' in my belly (and understands that one day mommy might not be here in the morning because she is at the hospital getting bubba taken out of her belly ;-)

We were given TODAY as the present! Treasure every moment!!! Xoxoxoxo

Sarah

6 weeks and counting...

Well, I wouldn't say that I have been a terrible blogger. I have seen worse - But I wish I could have the disciple to blog and write every week.... Either way here I am! 6 weeks and counting till baby Jonah takes his first breath! It is truly surreal that I will be holding ANOTHER baby boy in my arms in NO time, when I feel like I HAVE A baby already named Luke!

Speaking of.... Luke is looking forward to his little brothers arrival quite anxiously.... He is 2 1/2 and I truly believe that he understands mommy has a baby in her belly and it is HIS bubba!!!! He kisses, hugs, sings, even feeds his bubba throughout the day...(through mommy's belly button- which is where of course bubba will come out of in a few weeks)

This week is interesting - I will be 35 weeks pregnant on this coming Monday - and I am shooting TWO weddings this weekend! I am a very fast paced - love my job type of girl..... BUT I am one nervous pregnant mama..... Right now I am layin in bed at 4:43 am (been awake since 3:45) and I'm thinking about what pictures to take, what comfy/presentable shoes I will wear, how I am planning on 'pacing myself'..... I know that God is in control and he will make sure I am not taking on too much.... This is where my peace comes from!

I am SO thankful that miraculously I have only gained 6 lbs up from my pre pregnancy weight... Of course I attribute that mostly to gestational diabetes.... I also attribute a lot of it to having a 2 1/2 year old who doesn't let mommy sit and sleep all day.... But it's weird - I feel like once Jonah is born I will be down less than my prepregnancy weight.... How weird is that???... Don't worry - the belly WILL be blubber so it WILL still be time to lose more weight, but what a better feeling than to know you have a jump start right away.

Speaking of gestational diabetes, there ARE three things that I want more than anything in the world once Jonah is born... All being things that are crammed with carbs and impossible to eat without sending my blood sugar through the roof...... I want red gummy worms, a big strawberry/peach smoothie and a large Quiznos sub! Lol all of these things will be on my list to have once labor is over! However, if I were to continue to eat these things whenever I wanted I KNOW I wouldn't keep the lbs off!!!!

Well, other than anxiously awaiting this coming weekend - after that I will be ready to meet my little guy.. We all are excited but maybe not quite ready just yet to meet him! (I will say that I had a dream last night that he looked like a spitting image of Marcus.... Considering that Luke looks more like a product of my dad and Marcus' mom.... We're hoping Jonah actually looks like one of us.. Lol)

Luke on the other hand is talking SO much more as of this month!!! It's actually quite crazy..... He's starting to mimic everything and actually put his own thoughts and opinions together in sentences... It's funny when he says something to me and I say 'what did you just say' and be repeats it while smiling and then follows it up with 'siddy (silly) lukey' hahaha he truly knows how to make me laugh..... I say that he truly is MY son, tip to tail, because he never meets a stranger, he's always talking and laughing and he's always on the go!!! He loves to say 'whatcha doin' and 'daddy be?' Always inquiring about where we are and what we are about to do. He loves to follow instructions and LOVES a plan of events.... 'First were going to the bank, then to the store, THEN to the playground' and he repeats as best he can and says 'yahhhh'!!!

Well the last thing I can think to write before signing off is how proud I am of my son.... I truly believe that he knows the love of Jesus - he knows who he is and he gets excited to hear stories about him!!! This weekend is Easter Sunday and despite the fact that I will have shot two weddings in 48 hours - I am going to try and join my mother in law and mom at Isaiah chapel in Milton for Easter service! Luke is PLANNING on saying 'Jesus Has RISEN!!!!!' In front of church - but we will see!!! It's a true test to see how he handles being in front of people :-). He is ready to go in his tan and teal suit and tie and mama and gaga are ready to coordinate with him!!!

Well I have written a lot in a matter of 15 minutes - and now I should go back to sleep.... Or try to at least..... Here are some recent photo updates (one being from our maternity photo session this month with my new buddy Kim Harttman!!)

God Bless!! Sarah Parker

13 weeks till Baby Jonah's arrival

I can think of a few things I am proud of in my life that I have accomplished :-) However, I never imagined the pride I would have hearing my son say 'excuse me mommy' and 'sorry daddy'.... And best of all.... Yes ma'am and no sir :-)

Recently one of my closest friends reminded me that almost 95% of what we do is learned... Good and bad! Really made me treasure this time that I have right now teaching my little guy (soon to be guyS) all about manners, how to love and how to give to others!!

Luke is very excited about the arrival of his 'bubba Jonah' he sings the abc's to him and even 'feeds' him through mommy's belly button!! Lololol :-) He truly is the joy of my day and I cannot wait to meet his baby bubba either ;-) here is the 26 week update pics!

Beginning of the year update :-)

Well 2012 - seemed to fly by for me. I have been busy as a bee with Photography and being a mommy! We found out in August that we are expecting our second bundle of joy! And in December we found out that Luke and daddy will be getting what they both wanted - another BOY! His name will be Jonah Kenton Parker an we are very anxious and nervous for his arrival in May!

We were actually told by the 4D ultrasound tech that even though our due date is may 6,2013 - the baby looks like he will make his arrival on May 1, 2013!!! Yay!! I say, The earlier the better :-)

Other than that Luke is becoming QUITE the ham! He has more personality than I ever imagined possible - and not to mention he can throw quite the fit if he thinks it will work!!! Over the last 6 months he truly has began talking SO much more, he will now copy and mimic the words you say (we have to be careful what we say). And he says really funny things like 'no mommy! Lukey do - Lukey big boy!!!!' Or he loves to pretend hiccup to make you laugh!!

My favorite part of everyday is waking up to him walking into my room, climbing on the bed and giving me 'buggles' (cuddles)..... We generally lay in bed for at least an hour! He is very good at telling us that he loves us too when we tell him 'I love you Lukey' he quickly responds with 'yuh too mommy/daddy/meme'

He is very excited about his baby brothers arrival! This morning he tried to pinch my belly button because he said he wanted bubba to play. So sweet - at such a young age he is excited about his bubba!! He sings to Jonah - and even 'feeds' him through my belly button!! I feel so blessed and I am so grateful for everything we have in our lives! Until next time!! Here is my 22 week (5 1/2 month) belly pic with Jonah!!!

Have a cow!

My sweet son is beginning to do and say the funniest things!! First of all he only speaks if he feels like it. Most of the time he does not care if what he is saying is considered 'English' because he knows what he is saying!! His favorite thing to do is make animal sounds. Instead of cockadoodledoo, it's 'coodoo' he says 'ra ray' for a doggie and 'yowyow' for a cat!

My favorite yet would be the cow story! One day my mom was over at our house. She went to the restroom, Luke followed her and was not okay with we shutting the door on him- he started throwing a fit. She looked down at him and said 'gosh Luke, have a cow - okay you can come in' he immediately said 'MOOOOOOO' as if he was having a cow.... Oh the things kids say'n can't wait to continue to post more and more stories of lukey!!

Beach Day! Mommy and Lukey

Today started like any other day! My little guy wakes up around 845, I change him and then we climb back into my bed for our morning cuddles! At around 930, Lilly is whining to be let out so we get outta bed! I ask Luke if he wants a banana and he excitedly says 'BA BA BA' (his version of banana). I then tell him to sit in his chair and I'll go get his his banana! He climbs up in his highchair and proceeds to clap asking for his favorite fruit! After he eats his banana and waffle - we play a little around the house, he helps with dishes, and folding laundry! I then ask him 'Luke do you want to go to the beach!' he immediately turns around an says 'Beach! Beach!' lol I pack us up and here we are!

We have been at the Beach since 1230, it's 3pm now and lukey has now fallen asleep on a towel, ON the beach! But as he was playing I kept watching him in amazement... What an amazing gift I've been given!!! This awesome little kid who I get to hang out with everyday! Who I've been entrusted with by God to raise!

I am in awe of his greatness as I stare out at the ocean and here is my prayer
'Dear God, THANK you for always being bigger than my problems, bigger than my battles, bigger than my obstacles!! You are a Loving God who has never left me!! Please help me to be the best mother I can be to my son, so that he is raised up knowing YOUR love..... Thank you for my son and for my husband... They truly are my life! AMEN'

Until next time!
SP

Cookie

I've decided I'd update the blog with small yet memorable stories from time to time!

So today Luke and I decide to take Kahlua and Lilly to the park! Before we go I decide to give Luke a peanut butter cookie (kinda like a nutterbutter)... While I am putting on Lilly's leash I notice Luke laughing, playing keep away from Kahlua! Then I say 'let's go to the park' he still has half of the cookie in one hand and half in the other... Now we have been at the park for over 20 minutes and Luke is still walking around with the cookie... Every once in a while I notice him put a little bite in his mouth...

Talk about holding on tight to what you got while you have it! Love this kid! Everyday I learn new life principals from him :-)

Until next time!

Been an awesome year!

Well, it has been now over a year from my last post! And to be honest, it's like I forgot about my wonderful, fun Blog! Well here I am! Updated WITH an amazing iPhone app! Making it perfect to blog while I am at the park (across the street from my house) while my dog and son run around together in the beautiful Florida sun!!

Where do I pick up? After reading my last post I smiled! A year ago, I was trying my hardest to be that 'over achieving hard working mother' when at nights I would cry myself to sleep! Why was it so bad? A LOT of moms do it! Why couldn't I? Was I not strong enough? Why couldn't I trust daycares to love my son the way I did? Why was MY job so overwhelming? All of these thoughts and many more entered my head almost everyday.... When finally I laid in bed one night and prayed so hard my head hurt. I remember waking up the next morning with an idea... I went into the living room and grabbed a pen and paper and started to make a 'plan' (My parents always taught me that before I made any big decisions to make sure it made sense first) SO, that is what I did, I was so motivated to make MY life changing business/mother/wife decision that I wasn't going to let anything stop me! The next few months were trying, I remember doubting my plan and my dream. But I also remember the determination that had been placed on my heart to do what I felt was TRULY best for my family and myself! I remember praying to God 'I am in YOUR hands, please help my husband and I to make the best decision'.

THEN comes the hard part, sitting down with my husband to propose this plan! I remember being so nervous because I really wanted to be 'super mommy' and not disappoint my husband but quickly realized 'super mommy' is described in a million different ways! No surprise, my husband couldn't have been more supportive of this dream of mine! After a few months of 'business planning' and laying the foundation - I was able to leave my job and start my OWN company!

Which is where we are now! www.sarahparkerphotography.com is now my parttime job, and I am a FULL time stay at home mommy and hometakercarerof'er! Lol!!! (my own word)!

Phew! Well, I am looking forward to updating this blog once a week with new stories about Luke's development and fun Parker Fam stories! If you are reading this then you must care about our little family, so thank you and God Bless!

Mommy Parker

New Beginnings!

Hello again friends and family!


For those who follow me on facebook, you might have seen that I have now been offered a position at a much LARGER and BUSIER store on the eastside of Jacksonville :) I will now be very close to my husband's office, which will make for some much needed "LUNCH DATES"!!  As many of you know, once there is a baby in the family, the time alone as a couple is few and far between.  I am looking forward to spending this time with my Husband in the middle of our busy days as "SALES PEOPLE"


My son is changing more and more each day.  Yesterday he accomplished two MAJOR milestones - He rolled over from back to front AND held his bottle for the first time by himself.  Auntie Meme watches him all day and is working with him to learn new things everyday!  (Did I mention that we are so blessed to have her in our lives right now?)  The have a routine together and Luke is really doing great without mommy! haha (even though that's hard to say, I wouldnt have it any other way - My sister is my best friend and I know she would give her life for my son!)


Last night was also Daddy's birthday and we went to the Japanese steak house down the street, this was the first time for Mills :)  We had a great time together, despite the wait!


Also, for those who keep an eye on the pictures uploaded to facebook, you will see how much Luke loves to smile.  He is SO happy - I couldnt be happier as a mommy!  He knows he is loved more than anything in this world.  I want him to stay THIS age forever... he is 5 months old and sure he still wakes up in the middle of the night, but he is so SWEET!  When he is sad, all he needs is mommy to hold him and bounce or mommy to hold him and nurse him and EVERYTHING IS OKAY!  I know that there will be one day (very soon) when this wont work anymore... I know that at that time ALL I will want is to hold him and make all of his hurts go away... SO like I said before.... for now I will hug and kiss and SPOIL my little bubby... He is my everything!


until next time,


Mommy P