6months have passed by ever so quickly. I miss you. I think about everything we don't share anymore and I feel immense emptiness, a void that is difficult to fill.   The mind keeps playback like a broken record, trudging back and forth all day. It was certainly like that this cool morning. All the reminiscing of our weekends spent together, but I'm not blaming you. I wanted to tell you that our distance made me homesick. The once warmth of the home has now become intoxicatingly cold. 


"Walk on a trail of loving kindness Walk on a path of compassion And all else around you will be beautiful." Every Blessing

A Day at the Vet

Our emotions laid bare

    as the walls engulfs us ...

our feelings exposed

    as the pet on my lap ...

We meet as strangers

but the things we talk about ...

are life ... love ... and death

uncomfortably revealing perhaps ...

Tales of our lil' creatures

dissolve inhibitions ...

when their names are called

we arise and depart ...

All silently aware of

our own frank expositions ...

each of us leaving behind

a small piece of our heart!

"Walk on a trail of loving kindness
Walk on a path of compassion
And all else around you would be beautiful."
~Every Blessing

Before We Bid Farewell

credits to stairway_to_heaven.photo.net

In my earlier years of blogging, once I had a readership, I spent some time considering my audience. Would they be interested in a particular piece? Would it turn them off? Would they unsubscribe? Would I be relevant? Silly? Instructive? In the mix?

Now that I have been at it for awhile, those concerns no longer hamper me. Since I do not write for a living–and thus do not have to adhere to a prescribed style sheet or editor’s whim– I really am free.

It is because of this freedom, I confess, I still plug away, thinking of the verbs I choose and the content I share.

This evening, I’d like to comment on losing a parent as my dear friends did recently. Those of you who are in your teens/twenties may not have experienced the loss of mother or father. But you will, and as my dear friends Jeff and Veronica reminded me last month, don’t miss opportunities to connect with them because once they are gone, they are gone.

For me, losing my Dad was the most profound experience of my life. I say profound because well, I had no road map, no Virgil, no guide to show me what might happen and how my heart might ache. Having lost my dear Aunt a few months before Dad left us, the emotional impact then was comparatively less heartbreaking. And when Dad finally bade farewell, the tidal wave of emotions came crashing down.

I wasn't ready. But no one is ever ready.

Even if you are not close to your parent or your parent disappointed you or she didn’t live up to your expectations…losing a parent is profound.

Literature and cinema burst with such themes: the orphan crying over the dead parent, the lion cub crying over the dead lion king.

It’s all so surreal until it is your parent and he or she is no longer available to call or text or e-mail.

I know this sounds like an encounter group activity, but if your parent is still alive, send them an e-mail or call, or better yet, make time to visit and spoil them with showers of attention. And get the support of loved-ones who have experienced the same loss when the precious-ones finally bid you eternal farewell.

Opportunities missed are forever gone.

Goodbye Uncle Soong, may your soul attain the highest rebirth into the Purelands.



"Walk on a trail of loving kindness 
 Walk on a path of compassion 
 And all else around you will be beautiful." 
 Every Blessing

A Happy Affair ~ Sue Ann ties the knot!

Last week at my cousin's wedding celebration I did a lot of holding and hugging and likewise. It was a rather special affair as I met and reconnected with a few relatives whom I've not met in a long while. The Quay clan is huge, and some relatives do get out of touch with the rest and so it was timely to reignite the bonds. A bevy of loving and affectionate arms wrapped around me. Loved. There is no other feeling that generates a sense of loving warmth as someone holding you in their arms. Sharing a moment when cherished words sift into the ground beneath us. I've come to the conclusion that if there is ever a moment when time takes a breath, it is when we are in the arms of loved-ones. Time remains in the present and forgets to creep forward. 

I'll end this short blog with a note of best wishes to the newlyweds.
Let faith be the strength and love be the guide and healer. :)

                                                         My vivacious cousin sis Sue Ann with her hubby Wilson.




"Walk on a trail of loving kindness 
 Walk on a path of compassion 
 And all else around you will be beautiful." 
 Every Blessing

You will forever live in me.

Relationships between fathers & sons are so special

If only I could wish, I'd ask you to live forever

If only you could, it would be an honour

You left us too early, so much yet undone

so much that I needed to return to you.

You were so valiant, wise and loving. 

Your adoration for us was so brilliant; your love and devotion so poignant 

You taught us to impart love so freely

now abundantly shared with others 

You taught me values that made me the person that I am

values that I hold truly dear.

And so today, I've come to pour praise on you

a tribute from your box of sage

Given a chance, I'd wash your feet with my tears once again

and watch them dry by your gentle loving gaze

No difficulty is too great now, 

when I am wrapped by memories of your love.

It has been 10 years. Still missing you so much .................................................... 

"Walk on a trail of loving kindness
 Walk on a path of compassion
 And all else around you will be beautiful."
 Every Blessing

Happy Birthday, my Mother Teresa!

Here's to the dears who gave life

to the souls of the starry skies

whose strength are never worn

and compassion burning bright

Here's to the dears who nourish the earth

with the warmth of their loving eyes

whose seeds sown with grace

and guide the saplings high

Here's to the dears who never forget

though their nestlings have spread their wings over

whose loving kindness could banish all regrets

the universe's best gift - our mothers!

~ Anthony Tham

Happy Birthday Mom. May countless good blessings be upon you.








"Walk on a trail of loving kindness 
 Walk on a path of compassion 
 And all else around you will be beautiful." 

This is not my house but my home

pic courtesy of journeytohades.blogspot.com

I live in someone else’s house now.

Every morning I prepare her meals, wipe her altar and empty her bins. I sit silently to listen to her mantras playing on the radio at a very low volume so as not to disturb her prayers. I look over her shoulder and it’s more frail than I recall thinking of its shape. Her shoulder’s fuzzy and down her arm the same. I look back further and catch strands of her hair in my periphery. It’s a mixture of Bigen's brown black henna and true white. I wonder whether I should scrub her toilet. I shan't at the moment, not on this holy night; the night where we shudder at midnight from the noise of those reds bursting outside. I like to be a welcome house guest, one you wouldn’t mind inviting. I like to be chatty and dance to house guests and house plants because everyone needs to be comforted once in a while. If I was her mother I would not chastise her for the bonfire of paper offerings up in smoke - even if they make me cough. I’d ruffle her hair and give her loving looks. Mothers give this life so what’s so special about that? Ask someone who doesn’t exist. Ask someone else who is not cultured. Better yet, ask any son or daughter who is not filial. There are creepy crawlies making their presence felt all over the "fatt kou" cakes at the prayer table to the Jade Emperor as some sort of artistic statement / fortuitous omen. I briefly think about splattering them with one of the dusty hardcovers but I don’t because it’s not my house and I like to be a welcome house guest that is wary of mother's superstitions and doesn’t murder the other inhabitants often if at all. I've read The Art of Happiness. I know what happens when we die, you don’t have to tell me twice. Karma ripens and sneaks up on us when we least expect it to. As I said, I’m not her parent but if were, I would mother her clear off this mortal coil. Because mothers are caring and good like that and I like to be a good housemaster to all my loving pets and plants. Because without her I am homeless and sleeping on glass doors never really suited me.







"Walk on a trail of loving kindness 
 Walk on a path of compassion 
 And all else around you will be beautiful." 
 Every Blessing