Back to Reality

I guess I have said what I can here...  So I will be moving back to the regular adoption blog now:  http://wilkinsadoption.blogspot.com/

Thank you for following with us during our incredible journey to Haiti... and thank you for your prayers, comments and support.

"Those People"

It's been an odd weekend so far.  I think it has finally hit me that we are home.  We keep looking at the clock, looking at each other saying "if we were in Haiti right now, we would be..."  

I am not depressed or sad, just sort of numb, going through the motions of life (groceries, laundry, catching up on work email, etc...)

I was looking at the last of the pictures I took on Thursday morning before we left (Joe and I went up to the balcony around 6am...  it was beautiful, peaceful and sad.)  The picture I took of the rocking chairs really sums up how I feel:  Empty.

I am hoping I will be able to get back into the swing of things...  "engage in life" and appreciate what I have.  But that is a tall order when you have a new perspective on life...  or maybe it's more like taking a refresher course in "life priorities 101."

It just never adds up in my mind - why we are in Oregon and our son is in Haiti; why this has to be so difficult.  This infertility /adoption journey has been one long, tough road.  Maybe one day we will look back and have some understanding and peace with the way things turned out, but right now - I can't reconcile it.

However...  I know I am not alone.  I have friends and family (you!) who have been faithfully praying and following our story.  We love you and are so thankful for your support - be it in the background praying silently or sending emails and thoughts our way.  I also know there are friends, who are in this right alongside me, feeling the exact same emotions and facing the same obstacles with this Haiti adoption process. 

I think in my mind I know things are going to be okay; when we finally get him home, all of this will be in the past.  And while it won't ever be "acceptable" to have missed the first 2 years of his life, we will also have years and years of memories ahead that will quickly outweigh what was missed.  Right now though - we wish we could be a family... together under the same roof.

I wish we had the means and ability to go be with him, until the government finally allowed him to come "home."  I would do it...  I love him that much.  But it's not in the cards for us, so we are praying that God prepares us for the day when we can go get him; that we have the tools we need to be the parents he needs.  And we pray for his safety and health and that GLA has the resources they need to care for all those babies...

But tonight, my heart is breaking when I think of Samuel wondering:  How come "those people" aren't coming to get me anymore?

My 10 Wonderful Angels

Home... At Last.

We arrived home safe and sound. We are exhausted, so we probably won't make it until New Year, but technically we can count Haiti time, right? So it is 2am from where we started today. :-)

Will blog thoughts/reflections on this blog over the next few days and then shift back to the other adoption blog...

Thanks for following, commenting, supporting and praying for us during this trip!!! We are blessed to have you in our lives.

More thoughts later... For now, we will hit the pillow!

By A Miracle... We Made Our Flight

Miserable... Had to exit one terminal and re-do security. We figured we were hotel bound, but our flight was delayed a bit...! We also thought I lost my cell phone, but just found it.

Now we will see if our bags made it from Miami or not... But at least we will sleep in our own bed tonight.

Starbucks

Haven't had one of these for 2 weeks; that has to be some sort of record! Only bright spot of the day...

Landed in Miami...

Will let you know how the connections turn out.

At Airport (PAP)

James got us to the airport earlier than normal because we told him we would give him "extra" to be ready at 6:20am. :-) However it made no difference as our flight is over 1 hour delayed out of Haiti (it just landed - when we should be taking off right now.). Not sure how this is going to impact our connections... You might say a prayer.

It was a nice trip down the mountain; sunny and people were gathered at the markets selling produce.

Before we left GLA, we hugged some of the nannies and cook staff, but couldn't bring ourselves to see and say goodbye to SC. I miss him already... SO much. It was a wonderful trip, but I am not sure how life is supposed to work; unsettling.

Last Day in Haiti

It was a really good day... but now the hard part has hit. We are leaving Haiti tomorrow morning - early.

We started off with our coffee and peanut butter toast... then headed up to the balcony for some baby time. We had some good play time and even got out on a walk around 10:00am for a trip to the Tampico place. We ran into Steeve's friend, Valerie (sp?) on the way there, so we visited for awhile. He is a good kid...

When we got back Stephanie asked us if we wanted to go up to the Toddler House with Dixie to help celebrate Christmas with them (they did their celebration today with Molly and Joyce now back.) We both wanted to participate, and it was a no-brainer when she said we would be able to take SC with us... It would have been hard to leave the Main House today, knowing we would soon be gone.

So, we had a fabulous time watching the kids open their gifts... how cool! They all were called by name and given a gift by Molly or Joyce. They all waited patiently with their gift bag until everyone had received one. And then they all opened them at once! :-) It was a precious memory that we won't ever forget.

When we returned (around Noon) and had our rice and beans lunch (my very favorite!) It was just Joe and I at the table - odd. Then we spent the rest of the time on the balcony with babies... and we cleaned up the balcony, etc... Sonice came up for awhile and kept us company at the end of the day. It was pretty darn quiet up there.

We got all set up for dinner and then realized we had forgotten that Wednesday night is Bible study night, so we quickly had to add places to the table when the Trimble's showed up... and honestly, we were a bit bummed as we knew that would take away from our time with SC tonight. But... it was okay, as wee ended around 7:15pm and were able to spend an hour with Samuel tonight. While in the living room, John came in and sat and chatted for awhile... then Dixie, Stephanie, Molly and Joyce stopped by and we hugged and said our good-byes. We are leaving around 6:30am, so no one will be up yet...

Joe and I both took Samuel up to his room and put him in his crib... He just stared at us and whimpered a bit. I guess you could say, I was doing the same... This is tough stuff. I hate leaving him, knowing he won't understand why we aren't there to get him in the morning... my heart aches right now.

Answer to Prayer Day!

It's 8:30pm... we just got back from playing with SC and putting him to bed. It's breaking my heart to know we will only have one more night like that...

Today we started out with our morning coffee routine and peanut butter toast. It is odd to be the only volunteers now besides Bas. Very quiet around here! We spent the morning with our babies... and also made sure to give some time to Trey on the balcony to celebrate his BIG 1st birthday!!! He was smiley, happy and had a good 'ol time up there! :-)

** Cathleen - FYI, it looks like Jacob is now in room A. His name tag is now on the wall, with his crib right next to Trey's!  And we noticed the nannies love him.  They take him on their beds and play with him... 

Joanna and her husband (the ones from NY) dropped by again and spent a couple of hours with us on the balcony. They then headed to the Toddler House to play soccer with the kids there (they donated a bunch of soccer balls.)

I had one more video to get done for a referral, so Joe and I worked on getting that done next... And right after that, we found out we would be helping Stephanie with the kids who had Christmas/birthday gifts to open. We spent the whole afternoon getting kids changed, dressed up, and giving them a hand opening their gifts, while Stephanie took photos. It was a fun way to spend the afternoon! But it was a lot of work with all the diaper changes, clothes changes, labeling toys, and getting the kids to smile, etc...

So... it was about 4:30pm and we were exhausted... We went and got SC and had said a prayer together - that God work keep him safe and continue to move his paperwork along.

Then about 5 minutes later, Stephanie came up the stairs holding a file and said "guess what?" I was SO EXCITED and gave her a big hug (maybe several!) :-) This same thing happened to us in July when we moved from IBESR to Parquet (she told us while we were in Haiti.) What a complete miracle and we thank God for this answer to prayer. Our very specific prayer (one we have prayed each day together) has been that we would see movement before the end of the year. And here it is - 12/29. :-) God left it until the very end, didn't He?! :-) But He did it...

So... don't get too excited. We are just through stage 1 of courts - still have stage 2. Then attestation, then Minister of Justice, then MAE, then MOI, then Visa, then Passport. So... another 6-9 months, probably... We are just glad we are continuing to MOVE!!!

Last full day tomorrow. Tough stuff... I haven't been dealing with that mentally yet. And I think I am getting a sore throat.

We hear it is snowing in Portland. SIGH… Yuck.

Morning coffee and peanut butter toast

BIRTHDAY BOY!!!

Splish Splash...

He discovered he likes sitting in chairs... he colored and played while in the chair for 20 minutes or so!  I was amazed.  :-)

A twin - isn't she cute?!

Working with the kids for photo shoots!

The moment!!!  Caught on camera.  :-)