When I Have Grown a Foot or Two

Kinley recently decked Crew out in her interpretation of a missionary uniform and held a little photography session of her own.

Masked Man

Crew has a fascination with wearing face masks. Unfortunately for everyone, he doesn't have the most cooperative head size for wearing masks and he also lacks the coordination to dress himself. We spend a lot of our life adjusting his facial paraphernalia.  We strongly suspect a sensory link with his mask obsession.  He likes playing dress up more than either of my other kids ever did.  He makes the cutest little superhero.... or villain!

Mmmmm.... Shock-o-lott

I keep pictures like this so that I have something to pick me up during my all-too-frequent "I'm not the mom that I want to be" moments.  I need visual reminders that sometimes I get it right.

I am reminded of an article I read several months ago entitled "Drops of Awesome".

"In the end, it’s really about allowing yourself to feel joy and allowing yourself to be proud of the small victories of life."  ~Kathryn Thompson

The Sabbath Wreck

In our efforts to keep the Sabbath Day holy in the best way we know how, we have interpreted this to mean for our family that we don't play outside with friends or bikes or do some of the other typical things that we do on the other less sacred days of the week.

I've always had this nagging feeling that if I went against our family policy, something terrible would happen.  A few weeks ago, we decided to take a walk on the wild side.

I present to you Exhibit A:

Tanner, 30 minutes after crashing directly into a tree at full speed.  The damage was just shy of an ER trip in seriousness.  We did have our nurse friend Brooke minister to him for several days.

There are still so very many things that we can do to improve the way that we keep the Sabbath Day holy as a family.  (I keep vowing to stay off Facebook on Sundays.  I managed it once.)

But as for me and my house... we don't ride bikes.

Memorial Day 2013

We took a peaceful excursion to our favorite cemetery on Saturday morning, avoiding most of the Memorial weekend crowds that descend on Sunday and Monday.

Crew spent his time spinning around every petal wheel he could find.  I guess we know what we'll be bringing for Dex on our next trip!

My little guys at the angel statue.

We love you, Dex!!

Remembering Dex, Memorial Day 2010
We felt our family incomplete
And hoped to add some more.
"Three!" the darling dad announced.
But I thought maybe four.
I prayed for strength, I prayed for help,
I said we wouldn't mind.
This was His chance to send them both;
"Please don't leave one behind."

I suspected very early
But I still wasn't prepared.
When the doctor said "you're having twins!"
I laughed, but felt so scared.
Daddy was in shock that day
"What happened to the plan?
You prayed for what? You crazy girl!
Now we have to drive a van!"

We prayed to feel God's comfort
To know it all would be ok.
"They'll be just fine", we knew it then
And remember still today.
The funny thing about answers
With our understanding flawed,
Is that "fine" did not mean what we thought.
"Fine" was something else to God.

The months wore on, our babies grew;
We found out they were boys!
We eagerly anticipated
The love, the work, the joys.
We bought several matching outfits,
We used family and friends
To help us make it through the worst,
To hold on to the end.

Then unexpectedly one night
We had to call our neighbor.
My water broke, we had to go;
I had started preterm labor.
All hell broke loose, it was so fast;
I woke up with the dawn.
My husband had to tell me that
Our little one was gone.

They brought his quiet body
To my room for me to hold.
I felt his valiant spirit then,
So noble, strong, and bold.
He touched our lives so deeply.
Such a tiny little guy!
We spent the day together
Before we said goodbye.

We mourned his death, the crushing blow,
One foot before the other.
Then turned to battle once again;
We had to save his brother.
While grieving for the loss of Dex,
We fought to keep our Crew.
We knew his brother strove with him;
We felt his presence too.

"Your darling may not make it,"
They all told us many times.
We took the NICU rollercoaster
With its inherent dips and climbs.
Surgeries and setbacks
Became the "normal" for our lives.
We never had a guarantee
That this brother would survive.

Survive, he did, and beat the odds!
He came home three months later.
Our joy is full, our hearts at peace,
Just one thing would make it greater.
In sleep reposed, we see his face,
The one he shares with Crew.
Our angel Dex, so loved, so dear,
We wish we had him too.

Remembering Dex, Memorial Day 2011
It's Memorial Day, my tiny son,
And I doubt that I'm the only one
Whose thoughts are with a child they've lost,
Whose path has on to Heaven crossed.

I miss you more than you could know;
I wish things hadn't turned out so.
You've seen me cry a thousand tears,
Millions maybe, these past two years.

Some say they couldn't bear the thought
Of all the ache your death has brought.
To them I just cannot explain:
Your death has given more than pain.

Our time, while brief, was filled with joy,
My darling, precious, angel boy.
I'd never known such peace, such love;
The things I learned I can't speak of.

I live my life to see your face
In our appointed time and place.
For now I'll work, I'll learn, and do.
Family forever, I KNOW it's true.

Goodbye, Keith

Justin and I attended the funeral of our dear friend Keith.

I love you, Keith. The grace you showed when you lost Veda taught me how to find peace and strength when I faced my own Goliath just a few months later. Thank you for everything you have always been and will be to me. Thank you for being my soft place to fall on so many occasions. Thank you for racing to my side and holding me during Dex's funeral and for sharing your strength with all who are lucky enough to know you. Fly high, Elder Welch. Give Veda and Dex a kiss for me. xoxo

“No words in Christendom mean more to me than those spoken by the angel to the weeping Mary Magdalene and the other Mary when, on the first day of the week, they approached the tomb to care for the body of their Lord. Spoke the angel: ‘Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen.’ ” 

—Thomas S. Monson

Uz redzeshanos, miljais draugs.

Fashionista

The Princess hosted a little fashion-makeover afternoon for herself and her brothers.  She made shirts for each of them, taking it upon herself to sew a little more snug in the waist of her shirt so that it "wouldn't hang so boxy".  She made her own patterns and sewed them up all by herself.  She's a creative little gal.

It should be noted that Tanner wears that shirt every. single. night. as his pajama top.  It is his faaaaavorite article of clothing.

Christmas Re-cap

Because I can't just bypass Christmas, however long ago and outdated the photos may be.

The traditional Christmas picnic, where we ate our favorite finger foods in the livingroom while reading the Christmas Story events out of the scriptures. Because there is no such thing as too many pictures of kids eating with their mouths open.

Christmas morning surprises.  Remote truck for the big guy, too-small useless potty for the little one.

BIG Star Wars fans at this house.

Remember that day we told you would never come? Yeah, well, we lied. Congratulations on your own room, princess! No more sharing air space with fartin' boys on the bottom bunk.

Merry Christmas!

All Shook Up!

One of my awesome laurels, Kirsten, was the stage manager for a local high school production of All Shook Up, so the princess and I attended the performance!

We invited our good friends and neighbors.

I LOVE a good girls night out!!!!

A Mouse Among Men

Tanner was chosen with a few other students to represent his class in a First Grade Reader's Theater competition.  They won first place!!  Way to go, rodent thespian!

I was unable to attend the event because Crew was very sick that day, but the school accommodated us by releasing Kinley from class for the afternoon to support our big guy in my stead!

The Sensory Sasquatch

Daddy said I needed a haircut.  Badly.

We are so proud of Crew and all of the progress that he has made recently.  Amongst many other wonderful advancements seen in our home, Crew can now not only handle an occasional trim without a anxiety attack rage fest, but will participate as a fully functioning haircut team member.

Sweep, sweep, sweep.  Get those little hairs off!

This little guy's sensory issues have come into more manageable alignment over these last many months in many respects.  For example, he can feed himself or at least direct the feeding experience without overloading his own mouth and throwing up or crying.  He can also be taken to the store and to church without a sensory-overload meltdown.  He continues to perform the full-body jitterbug when he is excited, even when sitting down.

Crew has become a lot more rational (as rational as children of his age can be) and it's been a very positive change in the dynamic our household. He is becoming a "big boy" when it comes to negotiation, discipline, and communication. To outsiders, each of these areas of our relationship would still be considered extremely primitive in nature, but to us they feel like enormous forward strides!

Keep going, jitterbug!

A Real Treat

Usually Tanner is my biggest kitchen helper.  One night I found someone a little less experienced to throw in with the cookie-making experience.  I mixed up the batter, and he baked 'em!

Our daddy is such a good boy!

 Did someone say "cookies"?

The Diapering Life

The Teeny Tears project continues to expand very quickly across the world.  Our diapers are now being used in more than 350 hospitals, with many more facilities and support groups currently on our waiting list.  I never in my wildest dreams thought we would have delivered more than 37,000 diapers in our first 18 months of operation!  It takes an army to diaper the earth, but it's an army that we have.  With more than 400 volunteers and almost 30,000 of those diapers delivered in just the last 6 months, it gets a "little" crazy around here sometimes.

My job is to pretend that I keep it all straight in my head.

Our front room is the Teeny Tears headquarters office, sewing room, and diaper disaster area.

The livingroom is our headquarters shipping warehouse.

And the kitchen is whatever we need it to be.

As you can see, along with hundreds of volunteers around the globe, I have a lot of help right in my own house.  Even the neighbors get in on the action!

I see miracles every single day, along with a fair bit of insanity.  I absolutely love it.  I do often wonder if I've bitten off more than I should chew, if the dedication to diapering angel babies has taken away time that should be spent elsewise.  My family mystifies me by continuing to support the madness, but I still wonder.  A healthy and sensible life balance has never been my strong suit.

Sleep is for sissies.

The Teeny Tears project is undeniably successful.  I used to sometimes call a given hospital maybe a dozen times to obtain approval and yearly loss information and it was like pulling teeth, and now the hospitals are coming to us!  Daily.  We're diaper divas and we're on a mission. There are no more dedicated, generous, cooperative, and hilarious volunteers on the face of the planet than the Teeny Tears gals and guys!  You might call me biased, and that's OK.

(And if you have any flannel you'd like to part with to a good cause, you know where to find me.)

Bucket Boy

It's amazing to think how far Crew has come with his physical development over just the last year.  Squatting and walking are very exciting for us, but the agility required for him to pull off this little stunt is equally impressive.

The mini mister continues to progress in all areas, albeit very slowly in some respects.  I guess you could say that he is coming along "slowly but surely".  But surely is the operative word, and for that we are deeply grateful.

Bunk Bonding

Tanner and Crew have been sharing a room since Christmas Day, when we surprised The Princess with her own digs and moved Crew out of his solo sleep experience.  It was a really rough first few nights, but now we are all thrilled with the outcome!  Big Boy Bunk Buddies!

Master of the bottom bunk, guardrails included:

Big brother up top!

A Monstrous Afternoon

We wrapped up a mummy that we found wandering through the kitchen.

Painted monster rocks.

And made monster melons!

Thank you, Pinterest.

Rec Center

We went to the rec center recently for an afternoon of slippin' slidin' splishin' splashin' entertainment!

He is extraordinarily cute and deliciously kissable, but don't be fooled by the angelic widdle face...  this is mischief incarnate.

On the little slide....

And on to the big slide!