Kinley's Faith in God Award!

This little princess has worked diligently to earn her Faith in God award. We are so proud of her! And more importantly, she is pleased as punch with herself!

https://www.lds.org/manual/faith-in-god-for-girls?lang=eng

"We encourage you to learn and live the gospel, serve others, and use the talents Heavenly Father has given you to learn and do many good things. Earning the Faith in God Award will help you become the kind of person you would like to be and the person Heavenly Father knows you can become."

~First Presidency of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Trek -- The Women's Pull

Justin and I enjoyed the special privilege of attending our Stake Trek week as "Ma and Pa Bradshaw".  It was a time to reflect upon the many sacrifices made by the early Mormon pioneers that crossed the plains to Utah in the 19th century.   

For many attendees, including our own little trek family, the Women’s Pull was one of the most memorable parts of the trek experience. When we reached the appointed place, the men in our family left the handcart reluctantly, not at all certain that we would be able to accomplish the task that had been given, to haul this 600 pound handcart straight up a hill for over a mile. After much resistance, they took their water bottles and left our wagon on the trail.  We were left to reenact the reality of all the brave pioneer women who crossed the plains without husbands, brothers, and fathers to help shoulder the physical burdens of the journey.

The women gathered together for a special devotional by Stake Young Women's President Sister Pugmire, who spoke of the virtues and responsibilities of womanhood, while the Young Men were similarly instructed at the top of the hill. Following the devotional, we returned to our handcarts to begin our pull.

As we waited for our turn to set out up the hill, our family knelt together in the dust by our handcart and prayed for the Lord’s assistance. We pled for His strength, His comfort, and we prayed that we would learn what He wished us to learn from the experience. As we closed our prayer, I promised my girls that we would receive help that day, that if they would open their hearts and minds, they would feel the angels round about us, bearing us up, and that with their help, we would be able to accomplish the task that had been given to us. I testified that the pioneer sisters that had gone before us would come to our aid on our trek because they wanted us to not only understand what they did in crossing the plains to Zion, but why they did it.

I took my position at the back of the handcart and as we slowly began to push our cart up the hill, I couldn’t believe how difficult it was. It was so heavy, it was so hot outside, it was so hard. We stopped to rest and drink water. We pushed and pulled some more. There was no breath for singing, no energy for conversation. I wasn’t sure how we were going to make it, but we were determined to give our all in the attempt.

About one quarter of the way up the hill, just when I wondered whether I could take another step, I experienced the unexpected. I suddenly felt the presence of my son Dex beside me, laughing at my surprise.  I did not see him with my eyes, but I knew without a doubt that he was there all the same.  “Who else did you think would come?” he asked with amusement. And he began to push the cart. I left a trail of tears in the dust as I continued to push our handcart up the trail. At our next rest stop, I asked the young women in our family if they could feel the help that we were receiving and with tears in their eyes, they emphatically answered, “YES!” I let them know that one of our helpers was my son. A few of them were able to share who they felt had had come for them. We pushed on, now fully confident that we would accomplish our mission.

As we continued the Pull, there were extra steep portions of the trail that should have been the hardest, but felt the easiest. The men were waiting for us near the top of the hill, hats over their hearts, forbidden to move, only to look into our faces as we passed. Once we crossed a certain mark on the trail, the men in our family were allowed to step in to help push the cart, and they did so with great enthusiasm. It was an emotional reunion for all.

At this point, there was very little room left on the handcart for me. Just one little corner at the back, where I couldn’t provide much assistance. I thought about letting go. I wanted to let go. I almost let go, and there would have been no shame in it. In the end, I thought about our little trek family, how much I loved them after just 3 short days, and that I didn’t want to be left behind. I thought of my own little Bradshaw children that I had left at home for the week with grandma, I thought of my Dex; I thought of all of the ancestors that have gone before that are concerned about our wellbeing. I didn’t want to be left behind. I held on to the side of that cart when every physical inclination rebelled against it. I didn’t let go and we walked into camp triumphantly. As a family. For this and many other reasons, I am thankful for the opportunity that I had to attend Trek. 

Happy Halloween!

We too these crazy kids out for a night of tricking and treating!  This year was so fun because Crew was better able to keep up with the big kids!  The big event of the night was a vampire reaching out of a coffin and touching Crew's hand!  Aye aye aye, he didn't cry and he basically stood there mesmerized, but he's still talking about it and I'm afraid he may need therapy! 

We recently moved to a new community, so we were able to mix and mingle with new folks in a neighboring development.  Unfortunately, the neighborhood that we actually live in has only 4 houses in it, so no one came to our house!  Oh my gosh, we have SO MUCH CANDY!

Harry Potter, a pirate, and a nerd.

Happy Halloween!

Baby Drew!

Cousin Drew came to visit! 

Kwilting Kinley

Kinley has decided that she would like to develop her innate talent for sewing.  Last week she rifled through my old scraps and found some Halloween squares.  Since you can never have too many snuggle blankets, she pieced it together into her very first quilt top! 

She now has a great many plans of what she would like to do with this useful skill.  She plans to make mini-quilts for angel babies, a big ol' quilt for her Daddy's birthday (shhhhhhh!), and pillow cases for the women and children's domestic violence shelter.  She could barely sleep last night, for all the excitement in her little heart and mind!

First Day of School

Today was the first day of school!   Kinley is our big 6th grader and Tanner starts 3rd grade! 

Memorial Day 2014

I couldn't do it this year. I couldn't stand in line at Smith's and try to hold it together while I bought flowers for Dex. I could. not. Instead, we picked out a car for him and bought a matching one for Crewzer.  The children wrote letters to him, and we enjoyed a beautiful morning at the cemetery. 

It's still hard to know how much Crew understands, but we talk about Dex openly and frequently.  We never want to have to have "the talk" with him.  You know, the "by the way, you have a twin brother and he died" talk.  As Crew has become more cognitively aware of this world, his direct connection and daily interaction with Dex seems to be diminishing.  He no longer waves to him, calls to him across the room by name, or laughs at some private joke they are sharing.   We knew that it would eventually happen, but it's bittersweet. 

Happy Memorial Day to Dex, and all those who have gone before us.  We remember you today and always.

Remembering Dex, Memorial Day 2010
We felt our family incomplete
And hoped to add some more.
"Three!" the darling dad announced.
But I thought maybe four.
I prayed for strength, I prayed for help,
I said we wouldn't mind.
This was His chance to send them both;
"Please don't leave one behind."

I suspected very early
But I still wasn't prepared.
When the doctor said "you're having twins!"
I laughed, but felt so scared.
Daddy was in shock that day
"What happened to the plan?
You prayed for what? You crazy girl!
Now we have to drive a van!"

We prayed to feel God's comfort
To know it all would be ok.
"They'll be just fine", we knew it then
And remember still today.
The funny thing about answers
With our understanding flawed,
Is that "fine" did not mean what we thought.
"Fine" was something else to God.

The months wore on, our babies grew;
We found out they were boys!
We eagerly anticipated
The love, the work, the joys.
We bought several matching outfits,
We used family and friends
To help us make it through the worst,
To hold on to the end.

Then unexpectedly one night
We had to call our neighbor.
My water broke, we had to go;
I had started preterm labor.
All hell broke loose, it was so fast;
I woke up with the dawn.
My husband had to tell me that
Our little one was gone.

They brought his quiet body
To my room for me to hold.
I felt his valiant spirit then,
So noble, strong, and bold.
He touched our lives so deeply.
Such a tiny little guy!
We spent the day together
Before we said goodbye.

We mourned his death, the crushing blow,
One foot before the other.
Then turned to battle once again;
We had to save his brother.
While grieving for the loss of Dex,
We fought to keep our Crew.
We knew his brother strove with him;
We felt his presence too.

"Your darling may not make it,"
They all told us many times.
We took the NICU rollercoaster
With its inherent dips and climbs.
Surgeries and setbacks
Became the "normal" for our lives.
We never had a guarantee
That this brother would survive.

Survive, he did, and beat the odds!
He came home three months later.
Our joy is full, our hearts at peace,
Just one thing would make it greater.
In sleep reposed, we see his face,
The one he shares with Crew.
Our angel Dex, so loved, so dear,
We wish we had him too.

Remembering Dex, Memorial Day 2011
It's Memorial Day, my tiny son,
And I doubt that I'm the only one
Whose thoughts are with a child they've lost,
Whose path has on to Heaven crossed.

I miss you more than you could know;
I wish things hadn't turned out so.
You've seen me cry a thousand tears,
Millions maybe, these past two years.

Some say they couldn't bear the thought
Of all the ache your death has brought.
To them I just cannot explain:
Your death has given more than pain.

Our time, while brief, was filled with joy,
My darling, precious, angel boy.
I'd never known such peace, such love;
The things I learned I can't speak of.

I live my life to see your face
In our appointed time and place.
For now I'll work, I'll learn, and do.
Family forever, I KNOW it's true.

Game Night

We held a Family Game Night, which included Pass the Pigs and Apples to Apples Junior!

Crew is passing those piggies!

 Oh, silly Daddy.  He's rollin' those pigs on a reckless streak!  But he almost has enough to win the whole game if he can just. hang. on....

 PIG OUT.

 And a hilarious round of Apples to Apples!

Three cheers for game night!

Merry Christmas in Kuwait

Our kids were really happy to be able to send a very special Christmas package to their Uncle Jason, who is spending his holidays serving our country this year.

Merry Christmas, Uncle Jason!

Melktert

Our Young Men and Young Women at church enjoyed a very special African Christmas celebration this month as their combined activity.  In preparation for our event, Kinley helped me make South African "Melktert"!  So much fun and really delicious too!  I combined a recipe that I found online with a recipe that came from a South African friend's "ouma"!

Ingredients:
6 Tbs butter
1 1/2 cups white sugar
6 egg yolks
2 cups cake flour (yes, cake flour)
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla extract
6 cups milk
6 egg whites
2 Tbs cinnamon sugar

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees

In a large bowl, mix together the butter and sugar until smooth. Add the egg yolks and beat until light and fluffy. Sift in the cake flour, baking powder and salt, and stir until well blended. Mix in the vanilla and milk. In a separate bowl, whip the egg whites to stiff peaks using an electric mixer. Fold into the batter. Pour into the large casserole dish that has been lightly sprayed, and sprinkle cinnamon sugar over the top.

Bake uncovered for 45 minutes on 375, then reduce temperature to 325 degrees. Continue baking for another 50-75 minutes (I know, it's a wide range, but I made several and it was a little different each time), until the center is set when you jiggle the pan. Serve warm or cold!!

Temple Square Lights

We were really excited this year to take our kids to see City Creek and the Lights on Temple Square!  We went on a Saturday night and had so much fun!  We plan to make it a yearly tradition... like everyone else in the state!

Gardner Village

We went with some friends to see the elves at Gardner Village

There were several elves doing various activities, like this one below.  There were not quite as many displays as I remember from their Halloween witch decor, but worth the trip.

Luckily for Tanner, he found his name on the nice list!

And Crew found a larger than life sugar rush.

Say "cheese".... and mean it!

A morning well spent burning off energy for the kids that are out of school for the whole month of December!

BYU Basketball Game

After two years in a row with our kids out of school for the whole month of December, I don't have any idea how we will ever be able to stomach a traditional school schedule.  We've really enjoyed our late nights and  freedom to celebrate the holiday season to exhaustion!

On one such an evening, we went to a BYU basketball game.

Gooooooo, Cougars!

The weather was pretty awful that day, and we struggled with the decision to go.  In the end, our spirit of adventure trumped caution.  Foolish.  The roads were as wild as Crew's behavior while we at the game...

 We did have a good time, even if Crew was rather... Crew-like.

It was an evening worthy of Jingle-themed song-writing!  Because honestly, college basketball isn't really my thing.  I clapped my hands and pretended to be cheering for the Cougars while I was really composing this in my head:

"Crawling through the snow
In a silver mini van
To BYU we go
Because we are such fans.

We made it here in time
To see the Cougars play
Defying death on I~15
White knuckling all the way!

Oh!

It's been fun, but I'm so done
Crewzer is a nut!
Up the bleachers, tears again,
"Just sit down on your butt!"

Cougar tails and kettle pop
The big kids make me laugh!
I think I can, I think I can
Make it to the half..."

Festival of Trees

We took our kids to the Festival of Trees!

We went in the middle of the day on Wednesday, before the crowds 'o madness descended on the Expo Center.  We saw some very impressive displays!

Including one scene that reminded us of cousin Annabelle.

And a special horse-shoe tree that Grandpa B. would like!

I think that some day we will donate a mini-tree in memory of our mini-angel baby, Dex.  Of course, I will have to overcome my "I Hate Primary Children's Medical Center" biases in order to donate a tree to them with an honest and forgiving heart.  Someone asked me the other day about our NICU experience there with Crew and I couldn't get through my description without swearing.  Twice.

So..... for now, we will be inspired by others who donate to this great cause with their amazing trees and displays!  And we will continue to contribute through our entrance fees.

Superman and Star Wars

And a police theme in memory of an officer killed earlier this year in the line of duty.

It was a great adventure.  We spent about 2 hours there and didn't see everything!  Three cheers for new traditions!