The Mission Blog is up & running...

thomasturekmission.blogspot.com

Enjoy 

Thomas... 

I want to start a mission blog for this handsome missionary. I'm having a hard time getting it going. I come in here, sit down... and can't seem to start it. I'm thinking I must need to introduce him first...

My sister said it so well back in June, 7 months later and I still can't seem to put it all into words. 

This is Thomas. 

Almost 20 years ago, 

I bundled up this precious baby and placed him in the arms of the woman who would deliver him to his parents. 

I had never felt pain like that before. 

It was literally like having my heart ripped out of my chest. I've never cried so hard. Never hurt so much.

I knew I had made the right decision. I knew I had picked the people who were suppose to be his parents. Even knowing that, the pain didn't go away.

Over the next handful of years I got older. I'd like to say I matured, but those of you who know me, know that isn't true.

I got married to a great man. Had 4 beautiful babies, that I have been known to show off on this very blog. I love my family. I often felt like I had it all. Everything I had wanted. But even in all of that, I had a hole in my heart. A hole the size of a precious little boy.

I spent every one of his birthdays with my blinds shut, and closed off from most people. Every year it was a particularly hard day to get through. We had decided not to tell our kids about him until they were old enough to understand. I made him a birthday cake, and every year without knowing, my little family helped me celebrate his birthday.

My sisters would send me flowers just to let me know that they loved me and that they loved and missed him too.

I missed him and thought about him constantly, of course, but milestones were always harder.

I cried the day he would've gone to kindergarten. I would always check out the kids on my nephews soccer team. Thinking that he must be close by. I wondered about him starting Jr. High. How adolescence was treating him. On his 16th birthday I couldn't help but think about him driving a car, and was he safe while driving that car? What did he look like? Was he tall? 

On the day of my nephews graduation I had a bit of a nervous breakdown, just thinking that he could be there. And if not there, in another auditorium graduating.

After he turned 18, I went down to the adoption offices and gave them all of my updated information. It had been a closed adoption and I was told that when he was 18 he could look for me if he chose to. 

I went home and waited for a call. It never came. Not for a year.

For those of you who are LDS, you'll understand this. As his 19th birthday approached I had to assume that he was getting ready to leave on a mission. If he hadn't contacted me by then, I needed to come to grips with the fact that he had a family and didn't need me. Which is of course what I wanted for him. I'm just selfish and wanted to know him too.

As his birthday came closer I tried to talk myself into being ok without knowing him. I wasn't successful, but I was trying.

4 days before his 19th birthday I got a call from my neighbor and good friend. She insisted that I go to her house. We had to talk. 

To make a somewhat complicated story shorter I'll summarize.

A woman had gone to my friends husbands office in search

financial advice. After talking some and working together for a while, my friends husband realized that I was her sons BirthMom. I know it sounds unreal, but it's true. 

He knew she had 4 children, 1 boy, all adopted. My friends husband also knew that he shared a birthday with the baby I placed. When she was filling out paper work he noticed his birthday. It all matched up.

She asked him not to say anything to me. Thomas' parents actually already knew where I was and wanted to wait for Thomas to be ready to meet me.

He decided he was ready.

My friend and her husband set it all up with Thomas' Mom.

The very next day I was in my friends office waiting to meet the baby I hadn't seen in 19 years.

He walked into the office with his Mom. I took a deep breath and turned around, and there he was. Instantly that hole in my heart was healed. He was everything I thought he would be. 

I of course wanted to cry like a big fat baby, and tackle him in a hug. I tried to hold back, I didn't want to scare the crap out of him. I started with a hand shake. I introduced myself, he introduced himself. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to hug him. I'm not gonna lie, I did cry like a big fat baby too. I did try to dial it back a bit.

Then he introduced me to his Mom. I got to hug her, and thank her for being his Mom. 

Such a precious day.

We talked, and talked. For a couple hours. He's amazing. 

Just like that I had him back. I'm not his Mom, of course. He has a Great Mom. He also has a Great Dad and Step Mom. They all love him very much. I'm so grateful for them.

I'm so extremely happy I can hardly contain myself. 

My kids are happy to have a Big Brother. 

Sammy's prayers were answered, a big brother who likes video games. He's in heaven!

I couldn't have scripted a happier ending... 

and beginning.

Not long after I got to meet almost all of Thomas' family. 

His Dad and Step Mom and two of his sisters, and a nephew.

Another precious day.

Thomas is now serving a Mission. And loving it. And lucky for all of us, we all get to be a part of his life.

I not only got him back in my life, but I've gained an awesome extended family.

And Thomas has gained so many people who are falling all over themselves to love and get to know him. 

My family who also have waited with me for 19 years to see him again.

And, my husband and his family who have just accepted him, like he's always been here. 

So grateful for so many great people in my life.

The picture above is Thomas and I the day we met.  

Thomas and my kids

getting to know each other.

I know this is extremely cheesey, but...

My Cup Runneth Over.

Wow... It's been a LONG time!
So much has happened, so much to catch up on. Let's see if I can...

Stay tuned...

AmAzInG...

I remember you were laughing, we were so in love, we were so in love

and the band played songs that we had never heard, but we danced anyway...

We never understood the words, but we sang ohhh

lalalalalala... and We Danced Anyway...

As I sat and watched a video of a young lady trying to sing this song, to keep from crying, as her sister shaved her head I was overcome with emotion.

Little Tiffanie, is fighting the fight of her life and in all of that she finds beauty and laughter... I have so much to learn.

She has a cancer that attacks the muscles. I'd love to pretend that I remember what it was called, or could pronounce it, but I can't.

I know Tiff through my sister and her kids. She used to dance at the same studio they did. She was one of the "big kids" at the studio. At least that is how I thought of her when Hanna and Morgan were 8 and 6. I loved to watch my nieces perform, and I loved when we got the chance to see Tiffanie and Lindsey dance. They were just amazing. Tiff was just a little ball of energy on stage you couldn't help but notice and love her.

I think you all know how I feel about cancer. It terrifies and angers me. It's funny how you view things once you're a Mom. You put yourself into the Mom position and try to imagine watching your child go through such a horrible ordeal. It's heart wrenching really.

Then you see this sweet girl,( she's 21 and not technically a little girl anymore) and it rips your heart right out. She has a wisdom in her eyes that I'm sure comes with all she's been through.

This is her second fight with this cancer. She was diagnosed the first time when she was just 6 months old. She fought hard, and not only recovered she became strong. Muscular cancer didn't stop her from becoming an AMAZING dancer. I learned last night she was the president of the "Rebellettes" cheer squad at Dixie college. She was teaching dance, and had gone with a group to China to teach dance over there. 20 years later that cancer is back, and trying it's best to break her. But she's not just giving up, she is truly amazing.

Tiff brings happiness to everyone around her.

I can personally attest to that. She doesn't know me. I was just another one of the adults at the dance performances, but she brought me happiness. Even in just a simple way. Being able to watch her dance and perform, brought a smile to my face.

Watching her last night brought tears to my eyes. She's still just as beautiful, even sans her gorgeous hair. Even skinny and somewhat frail, she smiles just as bright. Her legs are both casted now, apparently her calf muscles have taken quite a beating. She was still up and around and hugging friends and laughing. She is the model of hope and faith.

My point to all my ramblings is how you never know how you affect people. Last night I was privileged enough to sit with 800 people who know and love Tiffanie. 800 people showed up to show their love and support for her! She has touched so many lives. I have no idea how many people were family or her BFF's, or were like me and knew her as a friend of a friend. But everyone there has been touched by Miss Tiffanie.

Everyone there paid to get in, and paid for "Dancers against Cancer" shirts, and went through and bid on donated items, all to help Tiff. And, we were all happy to do so. Close to every dance studio in the County turned out to perform, So You Think You Can Dance finalists came to perform, Odyssey Dance from Salt Lake was there, "Afterglow" was there and performed songs for Tiff. It was an all out amazing experience.

I got to again, watch my beautiful nieces perform, (now they are the "big kids" at the studio). They are amazing little dancers too, I never get tired of watching them dance.

I can say with most confidence, there wasn't a dry eye in the place when Tiffanie got up at the end to give her very heartfelt Thanks for the love and support.

I am so grateful for this little girl, and that I had a chance to witness the precious display last night. I'm so grateful that I got to take my girls, and spend the evening with them & their cousins & my sister.

Good Luck Tiffanie, we are all truly praying for you!

AnOtHeR UpDaTe...

Another update on my Mom for the family...

So, Robin went back to work yesterday. It was a very long day, and she was exhausted when she got home. But, she made it through okay. She's getting a ride with a lady from work for this first week, which I was glad to hear!

I guess when she filled out the roll in her class the aide had to come back into the classroom to ask what she had written.

Her writing is much better than it was, but still not great.

Around her condo she doesn't tend to get dizzy, but it was a different matter at school. She was dizzy while trying to walk through campus and tried to stay close to something to hold onto. She still feels the vertigo is a problem. We are hoping it goes away completely and soon.

She said she felt like her speech was okay during class. After school (when she tired) her speech was slurred, and she had trouble finding the words she wanted a few times.

I try to not let that freak me out, but it's not easy. ;)

Considering her stroke was only a few weeks ago, I think she's doing great!

On the bright side, her laundry is all caught up, her house is spotless, and her fridge is stocked... THANKS SO MUCH AUNT PAULINE!

I don't know what we would have done without you! You definitely made life a ton easier for Kari and I these last few weeks! I just found out that Aunt Pauline was on her way out of town again just as she got home.... So thanks even more for sacrificing your time at home to get ready for your next trip!

WeLL cRaP...

So I had a few funnies, I wanted to post on here. Ya know, my kids doing crazy things, Sammy losing a tooth, Oh and Scotty and his new "going green" lawn mower. (it's one of those old motor~less push mowers) But alas, the camera with pictures of these funny things was lost at the zoo today.

Well, Crap!

Trying to Think Straight...

I'm just posting on here because it's a central location for the family...

My Mom is home. Aunt Pauline is there with her.

She's doing better everyday.

She did have a minor stroke.

They did go ahead and send her home from the hospital because there was nothing more they could do for her. Dr. Corry also felt it was better to get her home around her own things so she could start to "rehab". The Vertigo seems to be there still, but she is getting more steady on her feet.

The problem I see is that she thinks she's okay and walking straight, when in reality she's tipping over. She hasn't had a fall yet, we stay pretty close by. (Even when she says she's fine and pushes us away.) Actually she doesn't push me away because she knows I'm even more stubborn than she is! Thankfully Pauline is with her and I doubt she will give in either. ;)

She seems to be eating better and keeping food down, so that is a HUGE improvement from a week ago. The CT scan and the MRI from last week were both fairly normal. Dr. Corry just said the CT scan showed some signs of her age. She didn't find that amusing. He thinks they will run another MRI again in a week to see what they find then.

She has found that writing is a bit of a problem. She has already started to practice and I'm sure it will come back soon.

Thanks to everyone for all the prayers, they mean alot!

And for all the visits.

I'll try and keep you posted here. Call anytime if you have questions.