I always hated introductions. "Ok everyone, we are going to go around the circle. Please say you name, where you are from and your favorite thing to do." (aka your hobby) Aghh. I also hate those questionnaires you have to fill out about yourself. Whether it be at church, in school, a new job, etc. You can always bet there will be a question like this, "Tell us something you like to do," or "what are your hobbies." Even in my recent round of interviews I was asked this question at least 3 times, "Rebecca tell us something that you like to do." Yep. I had no problem answering questions like how do you handle intense situations? What do you believe teamwork means? Tells about a time where you disagreed with your boss and how your handled that. No problem at all. It was like they asked me what my full name was, but when they said, "Rebecca tell us something that you like to do" sweat dripped from my forehead.
You may think i'm exaggerating. But i'm not. I have never had something that I just love to do. Something that I get excited about on a regular basis. Something that I spend so much time on that I forget about my real responsibilities. I've always wanted something. I have even pushed to find something. I've tried scrapbooking, not crafty enough. I've tried writing, don't know enough words. I've tried reading, I can't sit still for very long. I've tried exercising, it seems like work to me. I've done journal writing my whole life, but I wouldn't say I love doing it or if I had some down time that would be the thing I would do. I've tried knitting, jewelry making, photography, dancing, singing, picking music, wakeboarding, skiing, decorating, etc. But they don't fit. I couldn't spend 5 hours doing any one of those things. I couldn't spend one hour doing any one of those things. Don't get me wrong, I think they are all fun, but they are not my hobby. I want a hobby.
My brother--who by the way is the best present giver in the whole world--said to me once, "Becca you are the hardest person to buy presents for because you don't have a hobby. Not even that, you don't care for a lot of things most girls care for. You don't care for clothes, make-up, jewelry, purses, shoes, etc." Its true. I don't care for those. It's not that I hate them, but I don't ever feel like I need them. I don't know why. I hate shopping. I never have a need to just go out and buy something new. I have clothes and they fit. Works for me!
Another time my brother said, "For your birthday I am just going to buy you a life size person. People are your hobby." Thats probably true too. I love people. For the past 5 years my mom has given me 25-50 thank you cards for both my birthday and for Christmas because I write so many. (P.S. mom I'm out and my birthday is in a few weeks :) ). But writing thank you cards, thats not a hobby. Blah. You may think this is all very dumb. But at times it has caused me some anxiety. I couldn't even think of one thing I like to do in my spare time. Not even one thing. Can you think of something?
Well Wednesday night, I officially declared my hobby. After almost 22 years, I can answer the questions about what my hobby is, what I like to do in my spare time, etc. I can finally be at peace because I have something in my life that I love other than people. Again, that may sound weird, but I mean it. I am so excited. I screamed when I realized it. This is saying something, for the first time in my life I actually asked for something for my birthday. I never ask for something. There was nothing that I needed. But, I finally had something I wanted. This, has never happened to me.
I am so excited.
