I feel foolish.. foolish that I'm getting hurt over something petty.. like feeling been ignored.. that I might have been put aside.. I'm sure it's not on purpose.. definitely not..

But it still hurts..


If you were a boy
then girl you'd understand
you need to stop listening to your friends
love, respect and trust your man

So I go to clubs with the guys
and sometimes flirt with the girls
I should be able to roll out
as long as Im coming home to you
and give you the world

But you are not a boy,
so you dont have a clue
How I work and pay the bills
girl everything I do is for you

I've worked in Philips for nearly 2.5months.. Great place.. Wonderful colleagues.. I'm glad I have them as my colleagues haha, else I don't think I can stay on in this job.. Well I've also started learning to drive.. Geez It's actually easier than I thought, but then, I'm still on my 3rd lesson, worse will come haha..

So long since I blog.. I have no idea wat else to say haha..

RIGHT NOW AT THIS VERY VERY MOMENT I FUCKING FEEL LIKE SCREAMING THE SHIT OUT OF MYSELF AND TO BE BANGED DOWN BY A BUS! AND SERIOUSLY I MEAN IT!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Realli, I tot it'd be quite a messed up and boring bbq since quite a few couldnt make it, as it's Vesak the next day, and some has to go for ops, wasn't informed or last min couldnt make it due to personal reasons. Plus I had a busy day to begin wif, I tot I might juz be too tired to contribute much during the bbq gathering.


Ha! Turns out it was pretty hilarious and exciting. It was a pretty sad sight in the beginning since there was only about 5 of us, but later on as ppl starts turning up like RuoCi and SongGuang, the atmosphere juz changes. But I guess the best's still the number guessing game (终极密码) we played. We had ZhiXiong having to eat the whole tray of rice, GuoYong stuffing 3 big and spicy Otahs in his mouth in 1 shot, cauing RuoCi to laugh insanely and exaggeratedly loud. His face was so red and sweating so badly yet all we could do's juz laugh at his miserable plight lols. And lastly we conned the other girls to have to finish the last of the marshmallows, kinda sorry for the conning part but i think it's deserving since they were the judge for a long time after only eating 16 crabmeats when they lost a round. ZhiXiong has to finish a whole tray of rice yet he's still in the game sia...


Ended early... I guess it's early... 12am.. but I noe some of us couldnt stay out late... it still feels kinda depressing though.. since we dun realli noe when we could do this again.



oh yah.. no pics taken =( should have brought a cam.. realli wanna take a few pics tonite... hais..
it's not everytime I get to see... nvm.. but realli..

tt's fast! It's already 2008 Chinese New year! haha..

Happy Chinese New Year To Everyone Out There!! My Friends, Family, Relatives, and whoever I know and not know in the world! All the blesses and kisses!

I'm still not married! So please send ur ang baos to the address below~ xD

(juz kidding! but if ye realli wanna send me one, u may email or call me for my address xP Or if it's an ang bao more than $50, I can make a special trip down to ur hse to get it! xD)

I shall go make my relative house visit now hehe...

Anyway I met someone this morning while having breakfast haha! you know who you are~ and ye, meeting ye makes me all smiles and giggles already haha! thank ye! should see ye more often sia~ ye so brighten up my life lols~ even my sis says i'm so noisy and crazy today suddenly xD

These days I keep getting quite restless.. many thoughts started appearing in my mind... The past.. the memories... schooling.. playing.. my familes, frens, schoolmates... then the sudden realisation tt I'm already 19.. tt my A's are over already.. tt I've already served nearly a year in NS... tt I'm goin into Uni.. tt frens I've made has been wif me for so long... yet it doesnt realli feel THAT long.. the strange feeling.. tt it'll last longer... or perhaps tt gatherings will get less occasional.. and frenship, this term, may get less familiar wif many of my old frens... saddens me.

Then.. there's always this "me" who wanna get out of my camp as soon as I book in... yet dun wanna be out of tt camp when it's time to be... the feeling of wasting weekends at home without anyone for company.. I rather stay in camp and get a day off... to be used on the day I can spend wif somebody..

Most importantly, I always dread goin back on sunday nite when we had such lovely fri or sat gatherings together... tt memories we had juz a day or 2 before sunday totally plunges my morale to the lowest whenever I find myself walking back to camp... sometimes I feel I shouldn't have gone for gatherings.. then I wouldn't feel so sad have to book in... yet I'm always so eager to meet up wif them... and many... wat an dilemma i face so many times already...

I don't know wat i can do.. or wat i'm realli thinking bout... and I don't know why I'm writing this all on my blog tt's abandoned so long ago... Maybe I juz wanna record this emo part of me down here like wat i've always done b4.. hoping to forcefully put an end to neverending thoughts... even if it's temporarily...

I need some peace.

In my life... There are things I dread, things I hate, things I enjoy, things I love...



And... I've dreaded, I've hated, I've enjoyed... But have I love...



Then... There are times I dread, I hate, I enoy... But love...



Looking Back... I felt dread, I felt hate, I felt joy... But did I feel love...



So... I had dreadness, I had hatred, I had enjoyment, But... Did I have love...?




Maybe I had, maybe I did, maybe I tried, maybe I felt...










Or maybe not...

haha... I noe it's been ages since I updated my blog... and actually I'm not planning to update my blog any longer... since I dun realli have anything to write nowadays... unless I'm goin to write my whole BMT experience down here haha...

Skipping the part bout my BMT experience (if ye wan noe juz ask me la, I lazy to write it down haha). Currently I'm on block leave.. waiting to be posted out to my vocation which I'll only noe coming this friday... Since my pass out parade, I've been goin out almost everyday... and spend like I've never spend in my whole life before T.T Maybe I should realli take up financial management as my uni course instead... hais...

But it's like... omg.. I've only less than a week more to slack!! Who knows wat vocation I may get into... Later come out Combat Engineer, or Infantry etc, my 2 years of NS will be screwed!!! T.T

No point thinking bout it anyway... not like I can do anything to change my vocation haha... but I'll still be very worried over it la... hais... and then there's the application for uni... I havnt apply yet la... mainly becuz I find it troublesome =.= but oh well... I better get it done by friday...

Yeah so... nth new bout me la... Juz the same me(a lot more darker and balder tt's all). Feel free to chat wif me cuz I'm a very desperate despo waiting for ppl to come interact wif me. xD

So long... May not noe when's the next time I'll ever blog again...