a short convo with lishian while trying to help her with some stuff ended with her telling me that year 3 "really alot of work", and i just thought, "kns, next year my turn". it didnt take another few seconds before it struck me that when i return to beijing next year, there'll be so many things to do within so little time. sense of urgency, sense of urgency!

things to do in my fourth (and final) year:
1. badminton [...]
2.  a cappella [...]
3. travelling [...]

even now in japan i foresee making tough choices between the above options already, for the very simple reason that i've only one year. but it'll be the same situation next year! it's nothing like the "you've been two years already, dunnid to start all over again" myth that i've deluded myself with. only one year to reconnect with people, if one year of self-imposed isolation followed by another in absence haven't meant enough deficits.

best solution? cut down on time wasting (not necessarily playtime). that's what i've to learn in the year ahead. there's no going back with a freshman mentality expecting everything to start afresh (of course, this is a lie). like it or not, there's no turning back. so keep going, keep moving on. yijou desu.

debated with myself for at least 10 minutes over the channel through which i should post this - facebook or renren? status or note? it started off as random rambling stemming from a feeling of despair, but as i typed it expanded so much that it could probably pass off as a 剪报submission. in essence i just needed to list things down, see them and draw up a plan. i ended up writing a private note to myself on renren. but soon after it came to my mind that there's a long deserted space meant for sharing messages with the false belief of dictating the eyes for which it is meant. so here it is, after some omissions. unbelievable, isn't it, when you least expect to return to the familiar harbour?