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Tuesday, November 22, 2011
three days to 'see'..?
the most armed and dangerous event this semester happened last weekend - my left eye got pricked by a shuttlecock feather.
that meant that for as much as i'd wanted to siam the hospitals here i was still forced to make a trip, because by saturday morning the pain was getting increasingly unbearable. talks of "pain is transient" vanished almost immediately.
the true horrors of visiting the hospitals in china set in very quickly - first the school hospital's eye specialists were off duty on saturday so i had to make an additional trip to the Third Hospital. i reported straight to A&E to get turned down - because i had no 就医卡, which one had to obtain at the hospital entrance. but i didn't notice there was a separate desk for A&E 就医卡s so everything i did before finally noticing it - filing for a regular outpatient 就医卡, walking a distance to the eyecare building, registering for consultation, before being told to go back to get an A&E documentation - was futile.
but getting an A&E tag means i finally got to 'cut-queue', if that equated to a victorious privilege (in china) of any sort. everything from that point onwards was pretty much straightforward - diagnosis, getting my antibiotics (a favourite prescription in china), journey home, rest. i couldn't open my eyes for more than a few seconds because both muscles worked together and every blink brought about catastrophic pain. being unable to see therefore meant that even if i felt energetic enough for 10 marathons i was as good as bed-bound.
and so i was, for the whole weekend. i conveniently embargoed all academic workplans. that made it the most short-lived yet most drastic event to note this semester.
all stories end well :p i'm back at my day-to-day operations once more, though prolonged reading still makes me fatigued. it's definitely a newfound experience (and one of gratitude too) to be able to see the world again. of course, i shall remember that i wouldn't have managed well alone.
cloud at 10:25 pm
so far this sem
这个学期变得很忙，平均每个星期都有一篇大作业要交。当然有时忙里偷闲，看看视频、上人人网什么的（前些时候从8-11月间还翻不了墙上不了FB），但最想念的还是远在新加坡的大家。
北京の生活に忙しいですが、楽しいです～
cloud at 10:08 pm
还是愿意相信世间的美
过去很长一段时间一直都在思考善与恶的问题。去年还有朋友跟我说，“你是好人”。听了当然很顺耳，但后来想想，会得到这样的结论只是因为我们用自己的行为准则和道德标准来衡量一个人的行为和处事。没有所谓的好人坏人——今天看到的某件‘坏事’，可能那天你会发现他是为了更崇高的‘好事’不得已而为之；抑或是看到的‘好事’，可能到头来只是伪善？
但即便如此，还是愿以幻想这样的一个世界：每个人所做的每一件事都不是为了有意损害他人。排除了人对人的一切丑陋行为（如杀戮、戕害、诋毁、利用），就能极力寻找每个行为背后的善，而它都是为了构建更美好的明天而存在。我念的是讲究现实的国际关系，但很惭愧自己更属于梦幻的理想主义派。（当然，那可能是因为自己的现实的一面没被‘激活’。）
有矛盾，可以化解；有误会，可以原谅；有伤痕，可以抚平；有缺憾，可以弥补；有过错，可以纠正。直到被残酷的现实面说服的那一天，我仍愿意相信世间的真、世间的善、世间的美。亦余心之所善兮，虽九死其犹未悔。
cloud at 9:48 pm
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