Its been a while

Its May already... and the time for the decision is near.

A little update on what happened since I last blogged (which is turning out to be a page from some ancient text). I joined small IT company called iPower, and started working out as a software engineer. By name, thats what I am. I usually end up picking up the system administrator tasks and meet people to gather requirements. Its something that I don't mind doing, and meeting people is a hell lot more fun than staring and lines of codes. Not that I am not technically proficient with programming, just that its something I don't enjoy doing.

Coming 28th of May, I will officially graduate from Singapore Polytechnic with a Diploma in Information Communications Technology w/ Merit. Its been fun working with some of my classmates, most of them younger than me. I can only say it brought out the youth in me, and kept me in tune with young people... somewhat. Having done well, both NTU and NUS accepted my applications. I applied for a Computer Science degree w/ Masters of science @ NTU+Georgia Tech, and Arts and Social Sciences @ NUS. I chose Arts and Social Sciences in NUS.

Hell of a jump, yes. In a way, I'm gonna be studying and hopefully in future working in a field that I would really enjoy, Defence Analysis. At least thats where I am aiming. @ NUS, I hope to be able to get an Upper Class honors while majoring in Political Science, and move on to Mindef. Military and Defence related subjects have always intrigued me, even through my secondary school years. I loved reading about the capabilities of the hardware back then, and now, I appreciate the dirty politics that go on behind them. Who would have suspected the bombing of the Chinese embassy in Serbia had anything to do with remnant parts of a shot-down F-117? I'm a Christian yes, and maybe some might think that this is a conflict of interest between religious beliefs. For me, its just an interest in conflict.

Unfortunately, I've hit a little snag of late. My parents objected to my university studies now. They insist that I do that after 3 years of working. I suspect that thats due to my sudden switch in what I'm studying. I'm 26 this year, and starting my studies at 29 will not be to my advantage. I'm gonna lose momentum, and lose sight of my dreams again.

At the age of 29, and graduating by 33, I'd be an old man in a young man's world. No, I'm not saying that scholarly activities are only meant for the young. Just that at that age, I'd need to start thinking of more than living from hand to mouth. Who knows, by then, I'd be getting married or worse, having children. For that, I need be already quite established in my career. Unfortunately as well, it'd be almost mission impossible for me to support anything more than myself with just a Poly diploma, albeit a Certificate of Merit. Oil prices don't look to be coming down anytime soon, and in turn, neither will inflation. Sadly, Singaporean companies don't adjust their payscale according to inflation rates, and soon enough a Poly Diploma is just gonna cap me at somewhere around $4-5k after 10-20 years of service.

Why do my parents object? They feel that I need to demonstrate my sense of responsibility Now, and work on my the career path thats set in front of me. They feel that I'd be successful as long as I obey God, and God will make me successful regardless of educational qualifications. They say that many degree graduates have a tough time finding jobs as well, so why bother? Just rely on God. They say that Arts & Social Sciences graduate tend to be too idealistic, un-earthed, floaty, flighty; with no sense of reality. The Irony.

No, its not that I don't trust God. But I'm just a realistic person as well. My logic is a hindrance to my faith. I guess thats my greatest flaw and weakness.

I believe that university graduates find it hard to find jobs not because they are degree holders. I believe that the issue is that not enough jobs are reaching Singaporean citizens. 2 mths ago, I remember seeing the statistics from the ministry of manpower. Half of the 200,000 jobs ( i cant really remember the numbers that well) created went to Foreign Talents and PRs. The other half went to Singapore. Most of these Foreigners are here, armed with degrees, and those from poorer countries albeit well trained, are working here at less pay when compared to Singaporean graduates. I know this because I have met 2 Burmese colleagues, and I respect them for their knowledge in technical matters.

Singaporean graduates typically expect a lot of benefits from the company (pay, welfare etc), and don't like to work a lot. Foreign Talents, are just willing to work simply cause they are already paid tonnes more than what they would earn in their own country. Sad effect of Globalization? Anyways, Singaporean companies and employers have to share the blame as well. They want to pay as little as possible, and get as much productivity out of it, and this I'd say is especially true in hard times. That makes Foreign Talents their ideal candidates for recruitment. Unfortunately, the Ministry of Manpower's guidelines are often skirted. End result, was more than a hundred thousand Burmese nationals coming into Singapore last year.

So I don't think that its just the degree holders that have trouble. Its gonna happen across the board.

Back to my parental objection.

No, academics are not the measure of a person's success. But getting this degree will allow me to get into a field that I feel passionate about. If I do well in that career path, I'd recognize that as a small measure of success that I've been blessed with. Ultimately, if God was to give a person success, it would still be through the works of the person's hands. Fair enough, the success can be given regardless whether the person is pursuing his dreams or not, but isn't more wonderful to be pursuing your dreams and be blessed throught it as well?

They've drawn the final line with me. The ultimatum now stands as, either I obey them and delay my studies (which somehow would lead to the questioning the need for university education, as above), or I carry on at the expense of them disowning me. I did not ask them to fund my education or allowance in anyway, but still they decided to draw that line. If I obey them, I'd be obeying God by honoring my parents. If I do not, I'd be in Sin, and have to be disowned until I repent.

Life is exciting, ain't it? listening to the rain... 10:29 PM 0 comments

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Monkey Majik - Change Lyrics.

Just recording the lyrics to this song.

Monkey Majik - Change Lyrics

You had your wishes but you threw them away
It made you happy yeah for more than one day
But now you're lost and cannot figure a way
To get out of this lie that comforts you
and you know that I would lie to comfort you

Renew your wishes yeah get out of this fray
You'll never change if you keep running away
A little time, you need to figure a way'
Cause you know it doesn't lie in front of you
And you know it doesn't lie in front of you

I need a change'
Cause it's all gone wrong for me
(I want) somebody else to lead me now
I need a change
'Cause it's all gone wrong for me
(I want) somebody else to lead me now
(I want) somebody else to lead me now
(I said) somebody else to lead me now

(RAP)
Brothers on the top pressing all the melody
Never can stop 'cause it's a necessity
You like the way the northern brothers
They make ya dance
I think we're changing the sound of sweet romance
Time to party Juu ni Hon no Ude
Everybody wants to get started
TAKATANTAN!! Sweet sound of shamisen
Tsugaru style if you know where they're coming from
Wouldn't it be nice if the whole world got along
Even on small scale change is possible
We keep saying these things
Don't even know what they mean
As if we had never seen
The other end of the street
Start travelling, communicating, educating
Sing them your song
You'd be surprised how many people
wanna hear what you're saying
Apples are red,but tastes the same as green WOOO!

I need a change
'Cause it's all gone wrong for me
(I want) somebody else to lead me now
I need a change
'Cause it's all gone wrong for me
(I want) somebody else to lead me now
I need a change
'Cause it's all gone wrong for me
(I want) somebody else to lead me now
I need a change
'Cause it's all gone wrong for me
(I want) somebody else to lead me now
(I want) somebody else to lead me now
(I said) somebody else to lead me now listening to the rain... 9:31 PM 0 comments

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More than a year.

Happy Chinese New Year to all.

If any one is still reading that is... Sorry for the sporadic updates, but I've been kinda busy. Sometimes I just don't feel like blogging... Oh well.

Its been more than 1 year. Counting since August 2006. So far, I haven't heard a single word nor explanation. I thought I've left her at the deepest darkest corner of the attic in my mind and have forgotten totally. Never would I expect my dreams to wander to the god forsaken recesses of my mind.

Through that dream, I realized how much emotions I've poured out into her without even telling her. And that, I've never really forgiven her for just going silent on me. Nevertheless, I haven't forgiven myself for doing whatever I did wrong that made her do that. I guess thats essentially the whole problem. I don't know what I did wrong... and Time, just stood still, paused in those moments of silence.

I know some of you guys are gonna bitch at me, "Let it go already man! Move ON!" Believe me, I tried and moved on somewhat. But there's still that ever attached cord, anchoring me to the months October 2006.

I'm still trapped, in those Still Frames of memories. And I want to be free. listening to the rain... 1:17 AM 0 comments

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Clockwise, anti-clockwise... wth

Okay, i spent the last 20 mins baffled by this image. Look at it and ask yourself, is the dancer turning clockwise or anti clockwise.

http://s233.photobucket.com/albums/ee163/trooper2046/?action=view&current=0567524700.gif

What does the result matter? Check out this link. I swear this is not a phoney trick. Cos my sister and I were arguing over 2 different directions at the same time.

Link

*PS, I saw right first, then left.... then it kept switching once in a while. I know, I'm a confused person. listening to the rain... 3:53 AM 0 comments

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Happy New Year!

Alert, Cliche Statement: Man! Time flies!

Gawd, its 2008 just like that! Once again, I'm at another crossroad of life. The last crossroad was in 2005, when I left Army wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do next. Before I knew it, I was on a flight back to Singapore to enroll in Singapore Polytechnic. Now I'm wondering what to do after graduating from SP...

Pardon me for counting my eggs before they hatch. I think I've a good chance of getting a certificate of merit if I stay on the Director's list this year. With 3 consecutive years on the Director's list, I think I've managed to open up more opportunities to further my studies.

No. 1 choice. Heading to NUS, hopefully acquiring scholarship to major in Political Science. Yes, I've studied IT and computers thus far, but I think its time for a change. Time for me to do something I really do like doing. Reading, and writing.

No. 2 choice. Head out to work. Maybe cash up for a couple of years before trying uni education again. Who knows?

No. 3 choice. Sign on. Well, don't really wanna do this actually... but I do find security in the lifestyle in the military.

Of course, these options are not absolute, and I hope more options can open for me to consider.


Its been a long time since I got on IRC. I forgot how easy it was to make online friends in a snap. Got a couple of new netpals now. Pretty crazy people really. =D

Spent a time surfing youtube while working on fixes for my FYP. I don't really have confidence in this project, but theres no choice now. We're committed to this. It's gotta work, we've gotta make it work. Theres no alternative but to succeed.

On a lighter note, BareNaked Ladies till rock. I love their bathroom sessions on youtube. Here's one of them.



And thats all for now, goodnight! listening to the rain... 4:17 AM 0 comments

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Sick sick

Sian... just cos I stay up last night and slept only 3 hrs, I fall sick.

I don't fall sick easily, but when I do, boy it sucks. Had fever just now, and it took a bloody long time to subside. Even now I'm still feeling the effects from it. Get the chills, weakened body, aches everywhere. ARgh.

Considering that theres a paper on Thursday, it can be a more "perfect" timing to screw me up. I suppose thats the price for leaving revisions to the last minute.

Eat more fruits, eat more veggies. listening to the rain... 10:01 PM 0 comments

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*poof poof* *wack Whack* *Thump Whump*

Yeap, just clearing the cobwebs and the dust.

3.30am now, and I've got WSD paper in 7 hrs time. Was supposed to be up late STUDYING, but I just can't concentrate no more.

Been struggling a lot lately. Trying to get up early, trying to convince myself to go for lessons, to last through this semester. Can't seem to find the energy to go on. Every lab, tutorial and lecture feels like I've a drag factor index of a dump truck.

I'm actually getting worried about my FYP. Not going well at all. We hardly worked on it, and now its just.... not even 1/4 done. I don't know how I'm gonna pull it together. It feels like I'm the only working on this portion of the project. God, why did I foolishly decide to work with people outside my class. Why didn't I stick to the RFID project... argh. I'm worried. I don't wanna stay another year. I've got no more passion in this field anymore. I don't want to have to do anything related to programming, to computers, to troubleshooting. Its all so draining!! DAMN!

This is the final lap, yet it feels like my legs are turning to jello. I need to get up on my feet and take off again, but I just can't. Help? Anyone? listening to the rain... 3:30 AM 0 comments

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Freedom of Speech

I spent an entire bus journey reading that book on political science. Taken up quite an interest in PS recently, and its amazing to discover how much I don't know about the workings of the world.

One part of the book really caught my attention. It was on "freedom of speech" and "freedom of press." In that part, it quoted Justice Hugo Black on the Pentagon Papers case in 1971.

"Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government. And paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the Government from deceiving the people and sending them off to distant lands to die of foreign fevers and foreign shot and shell... [T]he newspapers nobly did precisely that which the founders hoped and trusted they would do."

The Pentagon Papers case was an example of how the Supreme court rejected the Government's effort to block publication of one of their Vietnam war studies based on security grounds. I compared the American press to our local press and quickly realized the difference. We've never seen a single publication of a scandal in our government. Or at least, I haven't seen one in my life time. PS: NKF not considered government.

Then there was the part on Freedom of Speech and Sedition. The book, a rather introductory book to political science, raised a few basic questions. Freedom of speech is a hallmark to any democratic nation, and no government has can pass laws to abridge it. The people are allowed to publicly and peacefully assemble and petition the government, to redress grievances.

But of course, this is not without limits. And I fully agree that Sedition laws should apply to those who abuse freedom of speech (even in Singapore, though somewhat limited) to spread hatred, incite violence, and malicious falsehoods. In recognizing clear and present danger, the government may and should impose restrictions to freedom of speech and expression.

Sadly, Singaporeans do not practice their freedom of speech in fear of questionable freedom after speech. And after a while, Singaporeans will become apathetic towards the government's policies even when it affects them negatively. We are already seeing signs of this today, where Singaporeans hardly speak out against the CPF scheme that would greatly reduce their access to their money. In the long run, we would find ourselves in shortage of leaders who can make good and sustainable policies from a pool of citizens who can't be bothered.

I think there are a few good reasons why we are in such a sad state where few people speak up.

1. While the government does not oppress the people from exercising their freedom of speech in criticism to the government, there have been several cases of civil lawsuits filed against some of the more vocal opposition politicians who have spoken up. Of course, these are NEGATIVE examples of how to voice out, and perhaps deserved the trouble they got into. Still, I suspect most Singaporeans have become intimidated by the examples, and prefer to remain silent instead of being bankrupted.

2. Perhaps causal to the above mentioned negative examples, would be the education system of the past, failing to educate proper exercise of freedom of speech. Failing to teach people how to make claims, to make criticism in a civil manners and be prepared to back claims up with evidence. Coming from a slightly better off government/neighborhood school, we were hardly taught on how to think, analyze and structure arguments. Exceptions were some of us who liked to participate in school debates. The rest were just taught to study, and to do well academically.

In any case, these are just some thoughts I had after I did some reading into something new and exciting. Just meant to record it down somewhere so I can refer to it again in the future. listening to the rain... 7:31 PM 0 comments

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