Smooth

I genuinely did not realize just how bad my face was getting. Oh, I still have a red face, nothing changing that. But the bumpy, burned, itching rash was not normal, not how I would have to spend the rest of my life. 

Funny how humans adapt to whatever we find ourselves in. 

We have had a splurge, to preserve the wool and linen clothes and fabrics we are beginning to gather. Getting rid of the "it'll work" stuff that is wearing out and smelling of degrading synthetics.  One day, someone will get a great deal from our estate sale. Soon, someone will get a deal from the 'it'll do' cheap chest of drawers. Rethinking everything we have and clearing away the detritus of staying in a place for a decade. Keeping the useful and durable and beautiful. 

Well, we don't enjoy trips for vacation, and have so few other expenses.  I'm cleaning and adding a bit of 'artistic' painting to the shop, that will also be a sewing room now. And the place we keep clothing in drawers. We've been dealing with moths for years now, and a cedar lined chest is the next step. 

But, really, it's just something beautiful. No excuses. 

 

Spamalamadingdong

I mean, spam is one thing. But this one is utter punk poetry!

 U.S Treasury Department's Office of Foreign Assets

Control (OFAC) U.S Treasury Department's

 

 

Attn:

 

 

We write to apologize to you because we knew how hard you tried in the time past to receive your grant fund worth $8,500,000.00 but you contacted those internet criminals and they ripped you off your money because they are the wrong office that doesn't have what it takes to release your grant fund worth $8,500,000.00 to you.

 

 

Though, I don't blame you because you are not here to witness the processing of your payment here in this IMF Office. The problem you are having is that you been told the whole truth about this transaction and it is because of this truth they decided to be extorting your money.

 

 

Feel free to contact Mr. Mark Brown provide him with all the needed information needed as prove that you are the rightful owner of the names and address on our data. Contact him and you will receive your fund within 7 working days.

 

 

Contact Name: Mr. Mark Brown

Email: 

 

 

 

Full Name:

Current Residential Address.......

Direct Phone Number.......

Country........

Your ID license...(Optional)

 

 

Please I beseech you to stop pursuit of shadows and being deceived. Feel free to contact me immediately you receive this mail so that Mr. Mark Brown will explain to you the method guiding the release of your payment. Do not panic, be rest assured that this arrangement will be guided by Embassy here in United States. Mr. Mark Brown will send you two delivery options you are to choose and comply with and you will receive your payment within 7 working days.

 

 

Thanks for your understanding and co-operation.

 

U.S Treasury Department's Office of Foreign Assets Control

(OFAC)U.S Treasury Department's

Lushly

My face is healing up amazingly.  The steroids are giving me some insight into those with ADHD, though.  I've been a bit talkative, made some dumb mistakes, having difficulty sleeping and focusing. But I DO have a lot of energy when I'm hitting a wave of this.  The worst day was Monday, and as I continue the taper, it's less pronounced. It really feels like I've been fighting whatever has been going wrong for longer than I realized.  Even my back pain has eased greatly. 

Can't imagine wanting to be on this longer than absolutely necessary, though. 

 

Onions

And bearded irises.   Well, alliums - in the same family. Enjoying the blooming pattern.  Dwarf Iris and Crocus first.  Tulips next. Alliums followed closely by bearded iris. Poppies waiting in the wings in their hairy buds. Giant Desert candle sometime after that. Roses likely within the week, pink first then the golden I think. I did not set out to have a flower garden, but such seems to be the result.  As long as my tiny meadow is happy, so am I. 

Protecting myself from the sun. Taking this all very seriously, following directions from the experts. I brought cookies to the dermatology folks at the VA, who went above and beyond to get me to the right person. 

The worst part of this was the effect on my mental health. I had two days when I went into the darkest of places, and could not get out. Kept thinking about The Singing Detective, and how a skin disease effects mood. I felt awful, ugly, a disgust that was oozing from every cell. The flowers that bloom in the spring were just weeds for a few days there. 

I was holding it together at work, but as soon as I was home, I wanted nothing to do with the world.  A few hours after starting the meds, the fog lifted.  It really doesn't take much to alter our sense of reality. Which is why I don't think there is such a thing as an afterlife or even reincarnation. If my whole sense of myself as a person can be destroyed by an episode of inflammation, death and expulsion from a body, would leave it broken down for elements. Composted back into the great universal consciousness maybe - but not as a discrete soul and mind. 

 

Sapphire

 

February 2020, we bought tickets to see They Might Be Giants for Dylan's birthday. 

We didn't think it would be his birthday THIS year. 

They were amazing, as usual.  But it was clear we were not the only ones getting Older. They had a horn section and guitarists doing the Running-around-stage this time. The humor and musicianship were top notch from all of them. Everyone singing along as usual.  The two songs from their new album Book, sounded really good. 

The backward rendition of Sapphire Bullets of Pure Love  must be seen to be believed. 

Much as we enjoyed it, as we walked back to the car we talked about that probably being the last time for that sort of concert.  After standing in line for 90 min, I needed to sit down. We spoke to the security folks, who directed us to a spot to the side of the stage. Yes, we were sat in the disabled section, and damn grateful for it, ready to move if someone needed it more.  I mean, I could stand for 5 hours on concrete if I had to, but I certainly could not have enjoyed anything while doing it. I felt my decades in the OR pressing down, and it was rough. 

Still, I'll take a hard truth over a soft lie any day. 

And if they ever play here in a venue with actual seats...

Horrible

 

Over the past month, I have been a bit off.  Had a bout of vertigo - the swirlies were handled with Foster Maneuver. 

The fatigue and malaise took longer. In the middle of this, my rosacea flared. And nothing that usually helped - helped. It slowly, gradually, kept worsening. So I used more lotion.  Went for single ingredients so I could figure out what was irritating my face. It helped keep the skin moist, but the redness and itchiness would not abate. I developed sores behind my ear, in my nose, on my scalp. 

A nurse practitioner I work with suggested over-the-counter cortisone cream, which helped while I was using it, although the scalp itch worsened.  After the 10 day course I stopped, and Horrible Rash returned, looking like it was going to cause my entire head to fall off. 

Yesterday, my clinic nurse friend got me a quick look-see from one of her dermatologists. And SHE got me into the same day derm clinic that afternoon. (I'd tried to get in, but it fills up between 0755 and 0801, and I missed it by a minute.) Fought my way through all the construction and confusing bus routing, 7 flights of stairs, to be there.  

Now I'm on corticosteroids and antibiotics, and the change is... impressive. Have to stay out of the sun and stick to mild lotions, probably get a bit moon-faced until this is over. 

Slept 8 hours, instead of 10, but it was good sleep for the first time in a month. 

Trying to get a primary care doc, but no one is taking new patients until the new residents arrive. Can't try to schedule until the last of the month. I've been trying to get this done since the whirlies episode.  The dermatologists who peered at my face yesterday kept asking if I had an autoimmune disease, and I kept answering "Well, not that I know of..."  So, yeah, I need a doctor to check me for that sort of thing.