"and that is why this is goodbye"

I think there's no time more apt to say goodbye, than the end of the year. You sort through what you've accumulated the past year and decide what to throw and what to keep; it's like selecting which memories are huge enough to warrant a physical reminder.
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OMG. I thought that post As meant that I never had to start panicking once Christmas rolled around because I had no more holiday homework EVER. I didn't realise that some things are way worse and more stressful than holiday homework. Things like UCAS applications which still haven't got sent over(RAWR this one's really giving me sleepless nights), Christmas cards which need to be written and sent out(and I'm already taking the lazy way out by sending emails instead) as well as a bloody GP factsheet on 4 WHOLE topics as a Christmas present for my sister ):

RAWR.

Christmas is NOT supposed to be like this!
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It just occurred to me as I was watching some Christmas-themed TV ad yesterday that Christmas just seems to have such an influence on everyone. Everyone loves Christmas. I'm very sure it's the most loved public holiday around the world. It's just funny how Christmas just seems to be that extra special holiday for everyone. I think it's cos it's a celebration of love -- ultimate love which saw God coming to earth as baby Jesus. And even for non-christians, I think it does reach them too. I don't really know how to say this, my words are so inadequate, but I do think that it's quite a nice thing to think about. Haha.
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The best birthday advice I've ever got was given to me last year by Wei Lynn haha. Who incidentally forgot to wish me again this year but remembered belatedly(and not as late as last year as well) haha. No worries mate, means a lot that people even remember (:

Anyway, the advice was to not feel too special and invincible on one's birthday because the day after would be too disappointing when you realise you're not that special and invincible. And what struck me last year when she told me this was that here was one day, one chance to feel special and on top of the world. But I realised that wasn't the most important bit.

So this year, what struck me about this was how the next day would always bring you back down to earth. And with that thought in mind, I pretty much spent yesterday as normally as I could (: Heck, I didn't even do anything special except go out for dinner with my family.

But nonetheless, thanks to everyone who tried in their own ways to make yesterday a little more extraordinary for me (:

To Pramit and Deborah who came over at midnight thanks so much!!! Especially Pramit who gave me so much stuff I cannot even begin to express my gratitude. you might want to lay off the potpurri next time though haha.

To everyone who wished me a happy birthday by sms/online message:
Charlene, Joel, Dave, Raymond, Sarah, Jonk, Xue Ai, Boris, Sylvia(whom I haven't spoken to in ages, does anyone have her email add or something), Jo, Ervin(whom I haven't spoken to in ages as well), Marco, Paul(who just got me like 3 seasons of Spongebob ^^;), Powey, Manda, Kheng Wei, Rui Wen(who messaged all the way from RUSSIA!!! :D:D), Jasmine and Wei Lynn (: Thank you all so very much! Sorry if I missed anyone out though :/

To my sister who gave me a damn special and super useful present: <3 <3 deserves special mention man haha.

ADD: Thanks to Wei Liang who sang me a birthday song half laughing! Haha. It's so retardedly funny and so Wei Liang haha.

Well anyway, I still hold on to my belief that birthdays are overrated and that they're really just opportunities to reflect on how far you've come. What I really like about turning 18 is not that I'm now legal(I still think I probably wouldn't be able to convince people I'm 18 anyway). I like it that in 18 years, it's been a great ride, with awesome company and the best part is that I've been able to see God's hand so clearly in the midst of it all. That kind of realisation is priceless and really the best kind of present to get (:

I guess it's like new years and people do give some thought about how they want to spend their 18th year. I don't really want to do that because overplanning things just leads to disappointment. So I guess I'll just see where God leads me. I know it's gonna be a very exciting year, I can just feel it (:
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i have a cell phone.
i have friends that use me.
i am an only child.
i love dangly earrings.
i love cold weather.
i'm obsessed with the computer.
i have shot a gun before.
i can't live without music.
i have no tolerance of ignorant people.
i have ridden on a motorcycle before.
i'll be in this town forever.
i've been to 5 other countries.
i get annoyed easily.
i eventually want kids.
i have neat handwriting.
i have more than a few horrible memories.
i am addicted to chocolate.
i am an atheist.
i love airplane rides.
i love taking pictures.
i hate people who are fake
i can be mean when i want to.
my parents care about my grades.
one of my best friends is a girl.
i have way too many wallets.
i'm obsessed with lip gloss.
i am easy to talk to.
i would never eat raw fish.
i cry easily.
i hate when people are late.
i procrastinate.
i love winter.
i have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
i love to sleep.
i wish i were smarter.
i'm afraid of flying.
i hate drama.
i bite my nails.
i have been on an 8 hour drive.
i never fight with my parents.
i love the beach.
i have never had the chicken pox.
i have gone out in public in my pajamas.
i can't control my emotions.
i have a best friend.
i have moved more than once.
i truly love my friends.
i have (had) braces.
i have never broken a bone.
i hate my computer.
i love girls that play the drums.
i state the obvious.
i'm a happy person.
i love to dance.
i love to sing.
i love cute underwear.
i love night better than day.
i love cleaning my room.
i tend to get jealous very easily.
i don't like to study for tests.
i have been on the phone for over 5 hours.
i am too forgiving.
i have horrible sense of direction.
i miss elementary school.
i'm a daddy's boy/girl.
i love the color pink.
i love to sew.
my eye color changes.
i should see a therapist.
i played on a girls sports team.
i become stressed easily.
i hate/detest liars.
i love the smell of rain.
i love my family.
i hate needles.
i am a perfectionist.
i always wanted to learn to play the drums.
i hate the feeling of failure.
i have friends in other countries.
i know how to cook.
i can be quite selfish.
at times, i still act like a little kid.
i have food allergies.
i love to read.
i wish i were more motivated for school.
i love getting stuff in the mail.
i have problems with letting go of old feelings.
i hate being alone.
i love summer.
i love the weekends.
i love black eyeliner.
i think am a looker.
i type with one hand.
i live in a one story house.(apartment)
i wear make-up.
i have never rode on an underground subway.
i can't swim.
i have bad memories.
i go to church.
i sing in the shower.
i hate cheerleaders.
i usually get what i want.
i have been on stage before.
i love roller coasters.
no one knows my full story of my life.
i am close to my parents.
i don't have a curfew.
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Has suddenly become very dangerous because of school kids soliciting donations for dubious companies which claim to help dysfunctional families.

After catching Perhaps Love at Cine with Ben and my sis, we were about to cross to Somerset when these 2 girls ambush us at the traffic junction and launch a very long discourse on why we should help these poor dysfunctional families. And the girl seriously pressured us to donate so I reluctantly took out all the money I had left -- FIVE bucks which I was meaning to give as offering -- and handed it over. And then as I walked away, feeling very annoyed with myself and stupid for caving in, I realised that I should have at least recorded down the company's name because there's NO proof at all I donated!!! No receipt, no record, no bloody transparency or accountability! For all we know, the girls could've taken my money and put it into their new handbag fund or something!! RAWR. I guess this is where benefit of doubt comes in but still! RAWR. What a bummer ):

So here's my cautionary advice to anyone who happens to get waylaid by these kids asking for donations...DO NOT HAND OVER YOUR MONEY unless you get some kind of proof that you donated the money. If they refuse to acknowledge your contribution then refuse to contribute! Don't be stupid and give just because they're very annoying and refuse to leave you alone until you hand over something or because they play the sympathy card. If they refuse to leave you alone, call the police and report them for harrassment but I think they'd back off when you threaten to anyway. And even if they turn up the pity factor, just refuse to contribute because they are strangers and equally human and fallible. You will not see what becomes of your cash once it's handed over!!! So yes, moral of the lesson, please don't be stupid like me today ):
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I read this, and decided that it's outrageous and silly that Singapore gets slammed left, right and centre for upholding her laws. And to ban an entire country from using its services, Putfile is being ridiculously narrow-minded and petty about the issue.

I won't say that I'm a patriotic person because I'm not. I don't really care for celebrating National Day, I probably wouldn't support Singaporean atheletes(unless someone I know happens to be in the team) and I honestly can't wait to experience life overseas for myself. But this is ultimately my home and my country. It's a place which has provided me a safe and stable environment to pursue 12 years of good, above world average education. And if tough laws have a part to play in letting me enjoy all this, then yes, I wholeheartedly support the stiff penalties meted out to the ones who are a threat to such security and stablility.

The death penalty is never humane. A human life is always the price of invoking it and there's no 'humane' method of killing someone. People who think that a shot to the head, or a lethal injection is more 'humane' than hanging are being naive. Besides, while it sounds 'barbaric' and inhumane to hang someone, hanging is practically an exact science here in Singapore. The prisoner is hung by a professional executioner who's had enough experience to make it a quick end. Heck, the convicted doesn't even suffocate to death while he hangs, kicking about as he asphyxiates. Please, that's only in the movies.

I can't say anything if Putfile decides to ban all Singaporean users because as a private company, they're free to do what they wish and if they would like to use this as an opportunity to display their stand on the issue, then so be it. It's a rather juvenile and petty method to do so though. It just smacks of that childish "I don't want to be friends with you anymore" resolution to playground quarrels. Besides, it isn't even as if all of Singapore's citizens support the use of the death penalty. I'm pretty sure there were a significant number of Singaporean signatures on the online petition for clemency in the recent case. So yes, this ban is not only puerile, it is a gross over-generalisation of Singaporeans.

Ultimately, this case isn't going to change much. Life goes on and if there's anything certain I can state in this post, it's that Singaporeans are a practical bunch. If it's going to take executions to curb the drug scourge, keep this place safe for kids to grow up decently, then yes, keep hanging the mules because it's a solution. Not necessarily the best or the most ideal, but a solution nonetheless.
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yayyy! i <3 december. it's my favourite time of the year! i love my classmates too, they're the best :D :D :D
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