Today is the first time in the week that i m back home so early! yes, 5 pm is a rather early one! i just know i had a super busy week, almost go back home after 6pm, but what exactly am i busy with? i m not too sure myself.

We had an A math Mock exam today. Well, again, everyone seemed confident, as for me, i could not see much a diffrence in the level of difficulty with the last A math mock. I guess one reason being i did not revise at all! yes, too busy to revise. too busy for things which i dun even know.

Mr Gary Tan came to our class to do that survey that day. Our class, same as last year's 4C1, was very enthusiastic in expressing our views, well, mostly are negative. i guess this is what surveys are for. Understanding the students' unhappiness and then school teachers would improve accordingly. somehow, i feel teachers in Singapore are rather a sympathetic bunch. they are not like teachers in china where students dare not voice a word of anything against the teachers. This, was my life in China. I somehow lived in oppression. Oppressed by the teachers. If my form teacher, Ms Xie, was angry with me, i would be upset for a whole week. I still remember once which Ms Xie hated me to the core as i did something she detested which was gossiping about one boy and one girl. What Ms Xie did to punish me was totally ignore me. Once i mustered all my courage to say bye to her when i was about to leave the classroom, she simply ignored me. i still remember her face, frowning, not looking at me at all. i guess this period was the first and only time i fell into depression. maybe i could say this was the darkest days of my school life.

The favoritism played by the teachers is another thing that oppressed me. The teachers, especially Ms Xie, only liked bright or well-off pupils. i belong to neither catagory. poor me. fortunately, i came to Singapore where was more democractic than China. No one would force u do things if u object strongly. And in this place, i became more bold. From the never-dare-to-complain-anything girl to the current complain queen. If u say i m a complain queen, i would rather say i have the rights to complain if i see things being unjustly done. For example, if the restaurant waiter was being rude to me, i would complain to the manager, as i have paid him, i deserve good service.

it sounds abit off track. luckily it is not an official exam.

Shall stop here, i have not blogged for a week!!!

sigh. slacking. i feel my productivity is ZERO on weekdays. how? all i feel is sleepiness and the once-in-a-while motivation is always destroyed by my laziness. kinda envy those who are very productive during weekdays. sigh.

We just had A math Mock paper. erm. better than i expected and the good news is at least i attempted all questions. To my surprise, relative velocity is not tested. everyone looks quite ok after taking the test. so i guess everyone is quite confident of scoring well. as for my partner, i guess it is indeed an irony for her to score so well for E math but being inconfident for A math.

Feel rather pissed off today as i feel my teacher was not being fair to everyone in the class. i heard her telling one girl of my class to go to her house on saturday for some extra english lessons. Upon hearing that, i could feel a surge of anger overwhelming me. How can she be so unfair? there are also many others whose's english is not up to mark. How can she ignore the rest? or she is touched by the student's initiative? but whatever it is, as a teacher, she should act fairly to the students especially when many others need her assistance. sigh. maybe as what Kel said, we should write more essays and let her mark. i guess this seems the only way of getting improvement in my english.

plan to study bio today as there is a bio consultation tomorrow. I doubt if we have sufficient time to clear all our doubts. sigh. i m a bio idiot. Is there a smarter way of learning bio besides memorising???now i dun even feel like touching the bio textbook!

SOMEONE HELP ME! is there any kind of medicine which could curb my drousiness?

Feel very irritated today, of course, again by the trivial incidents. thus if u talk to me in the morning, i was rather pleasant, then later, i got fed-up, then even later, i kept very quiet.

TODAY is a super tired and lazy day. just finished tuition just now. i just realised how lousy my a math is. sigh. cant help it. what i can do is improve my a math thru practices and well, hard work. BUT my plan is not to spend too much time on A math since i have lost interest in it! Dunno why i suddenly developed a keen interest for chem and phy. i feel they are more practical in our daily life rather than all the lg and In graphs we learnt in A math. whatever it is, for the sake of my o level, i have to at least get a B for A math.

Heard Miss Ho said that our average marks for E math Mock Exam is 85/100. It is rather high. I bet our class top the level again for this mock exam. though Miss HO always gets heated up with us for talking in class, magically, we still excel in this subject. Does it mean we people have the talent for E math? I do think most of the people in my class are, but for me, i dun belong to one of them since i have done terribly in the recently E math class tests. sigh. Smart people are everywhere. WHne i was in my previous class, i thought Amy and Sarah are so damn intelligent, however, only after coming to this top class last year, i realised what it means by an elite class. each and every one of us has some sort of talent in certain areas. sigh. poor me. i m not good at anything nor very lousy in anything. or maybe put a nicer name to people like me ---- all rounded?? haha.

Went to the chinese service if church today since the Taiwanese Christian group --- zan mei zhi quan, was coming to perform. their vocal was indeed very soothing and it is also my first time to hear Pastor Lawrence speaking mandrain. His mandrain was splendid for a person with english educated background.
then after attending the service, Vivian, my new friend, Waileng and Winnie and i went to Rocky Master to have our lunch. frankly, i feel quite out when vivian talked about her problems in career when she changed her job from banking to selling some computer training programs. she mentioned the big pay cut and her resentment about her boss. and she was not sure about Lord's plan for her. she is lost, so am i.
In one entry of a christian book, it mentioned after we sin, we should surrender ourselves sincerely to Lord and repent. Repenting is not just enough, we must try not to commit the same sin again. i guess it is time for me to do sth. but im afraid i cant keep the promises if i promise Lord i wont commit the sin again. Would Lord be more angry if we break the promise?
anyway whatever it is. LORD is in control. DONT LET YOURSELF FALL INTO SATAN'S TRAP!

Today is 9th Aug, Singapore's birthday. honestly, not so much emotions since i missed most part of yesterday's celebration and i have not been too nationalistic after being in sg for around 6 years. Only 6 years. how much emotions how patriotic can i be? would i flee when sg faces threats? my partner had already given me a definite ans: i will be the first one going to changi airport. haha. thanks for her honesty. as for me, i m not too sure yet. because after all, sg has brought much things in my life which china cant bring me. so when other stronger countries declare wars to sg, what would u do? if your ans is "flee immediately", then i guess mdm Ting will give u another lecture on sg. haha.

erm today i woke up around 1030. had many dreams last night. strangely, i could not remember any of them now. i just remember when i woke up, my voice was very husky and had a little headache. though i had slept 11 hours last night, now i still felt so sleepy. sometimes, the more u sleep the more u feel like sleeping. is there any medicine which can cure sleepiness without bringing any negative side effects to the body?

i m not quite used to the fact that there would be 2 public holidays from on now. the sudden change of a hectic schedule to now watching tv and online is really sth i have 2 slowly adapt.
Friday is my BIG day. it is my english oral exam. frankly speaking, i had not much oral practices with mrs rupa. and now i still have problems with pronouncing words. sigh.

feel like going to restaurants!!!!

now, i m physically tired, but mentally still very active. it is probably because it is friday. dunno why, my mood is still so glum at this thought. friday means i have to prepare for e math test, it means i hvae 2 prepare for phy test. sigh. one after another.

alyssa and laurel and i had a consultation with ms ho today in the lib till 1845. when i reaced home, my mom commented that "you are out for more than 12 hours." Indeed! more than 12 hours. this morning i set out around 630 and reached school around 650 to have an oral session with mrs rupa. erm, again, i was reprimanded for not pronouncing words properly. sigh. feel rather helpless with it. what must i do to change my reading? the worst is there are less than 10 days from oral and now i have not even practiced my weakest section--- picture discusion with mrs rupa. sigh. then almost all our classmates ranging from good to lousy all wanna ask mrs rupa for help. sigh. it is human nature.

my that com is very very slow!! getting on my nerves!!!

walked home with nina and heard that for her class, there are some days which they are dismissed around 1 or 2. upon hearing that,all i felt was envy. i bet since sec 4 starts, we have not been dismissed at such an early time for ages!

envy envy envy!!!

chem pract

during today's chem lab period, something dangerous has happened. i still remember aly and i were doing experiment 6, which requires us to add hydrogen peroxide to the unknown solution then add sth else which i could not remember. all i could remember is a very very RIGOROUS reaction occurred. i could see bubbles coming out rapidly and my thumb which was covering the opening of the tube felt a large force coming out. i was scared. so scared that i screamed and dropped the test tube. it was very silly of me to do so. because due to my this silliness i broke one test tube and the content inside the tube was splashed onto aly's arm. i was truly scared. later on i found out from kel that actually i did not need to cover the opening with my arm, just hold it with a test tube holder wouldl do. but i was also very scared that that gases would be gone if i dun cover it. sigh. chem prac was truly challenging. and we had left not enough time to complete VQ. today's chem prac seemed challenging for other classmates as well since i could hear the sounds of test tubes broken and 2 classmates making crass comments. whatever it is, it is over. hopefully thru each and every trial of experiments, our skills of handling apparatus will improve. or else all the scoldings i got from aly and all the pain she suffered would be in vain.

sigh. did not manage to hear my alarm clock last night and as expected, i did not wake up the time i wanted. chinese hw!!! i did not do my chi hw!!! zhang is going to kill me!!! so much hw undone and tml still got ss... sigh. life is like that.

today was totally a day which drains my energy!!
The mock exams could not be any more terrible. It starts from 1310 and ended at 6!!! we only had abuot 20 mins break between chem and e math. the break was not considered as a break strictly speaking. it is jus no teacher in the room and i can hear the ppl at the back playing. theyn seemed very happy. During chem, the humid and hot weather and the fact that i could not answer some of the questions frustrated me. i could feel my back was wet, by perspiration. could not take it anymore, i took out my blouse. indeed after taking out, i feel much cooling. at last i understood why kel always stubbornly wanna change out after pe or mass run. i finally fully understand how the feeling was when the heat was trapped inside you while u were merely want to do some serious work. somehow the weather made me drousy and at one time during chem, i nearly dozed off. honestly, i dunno how i can answer question while being so sleepy. i guess i was just playign guessing game for some of the questions.

dunno why i just feel there are things which the teacher has not taught us yet such as "bath soap", "anti-oxidant" and alot more. and the worst is question 3, they ask you about ionic compounds, i tried using elimination method, but to no avail, simply because i think all 4 choices are correct!!! how ridiculous. i was once wondering if they have typed the question correctly. my intuition tells me that the paper was set by mrs.liew. a typical liew style.

today i run into my primary school classmate while i was rushing to school. i met him near the mrt station. he waved to me first. how funny. we both could not remember each other's name, but what we recognise each other was the faces. sadly to infer, since he can recognise me after 4 years, i means i have not changed much after puberty!! oh dear! the worst was i was looking down at the floor and smiling to myself when he saw me. he must categorise me as "weird person". so malu. i guess i really need to change the habit of smiling when walking even though how funny the things in my mind are. anyway, he has slimmed down and still look so childish.

today, our 2 friends were not feeling well. one of the patients is aly who need to see an eye specialist to get her eyes healed. she went off after taking chem, poor she has to stay back tml after chem and get to make up for emath. 2 and half hour. but i hope tml would not be so draining for her. another patient is CHIPMUNK, she had a terrible cough. her cough was so bad that she trembled uncontrollably. i can see her hands shaking. poor her. but the good news here is today she was not that stubborn because she was willing to go home and rest! her mom picked her up during english. her mom was worried. i could see from her face. and she also told us that laurel actually was not being honest with her about the condition of her illness. i guess laurel is a rather sensible daughter. anyway, heard that she needs an x ray soon. all the best to you two hundans!

oh it was such a long entry! tml i have to see mrs rupa for english oral. kinda stressed. so called 1005 dismissal is so unreal for us! chem lecture followed by english oral. for the elec geo ppl it is even worse! they have map reading test. all the best then.