My new TP-Link Wireless N Router

I bought a new router for my macbook with a N speed of up to 150mbps! SO right now am testing the speed.

Morning Jog

Nice Sunrise

Fisherman Casting Net

There was actually a commercial airport over there

Kelong in Singapore

Great shot of Yishun Dam

Finally got a new 22" monitor

So happy that i sold two of my 17" monitors to get a new 22". Since the old one is not big enough for me to watch movie, i sold them away at 40 and 70 respectively.

I was wrong

I realised i need more endurance towards her. but yesterday after a gloomy day, i felt much better after seeing her again! Thanks for being there dear..:)

Boo!!

Sucks to have the feeling that the person you love most is hiding her feelings from you and instead went to talk to her best friend about it.

Well guess i managed to rid my anger but going to sleep.

Ne Trip today

Our NE tour today, quite an enjoyable and fruitful one. We saw SR Nathan at the end of our tour.

13 September 2011

I'm going back to the old place soon. Course is going to end, and work is going to come. Seems like holidays are ending. Attending Alpha.Gordon.Math on saturday followed by Kelvin's farewell lunch or dinner.

Dear's having a nice rest now while i'm deciding whether to stay in tomorrow cause its prolly the last time i'm going to have a chance to spend time with my friends.

Staying at home to watch Bloomberg's news while reading about Default Credit Swaps, and the history of one of the top Euro bank Société_Générale.

This picture of the moon cake resembles the one dear brought for me yesterday after a very tiring day. Just wanna say a big thank you to you for coming all the way here to celebrate mid autumn festival with me. :)

Lastly, had a memorable movie date with dear last week,

11 September 2011

Today's the anniversary of the 9/11 attack on US's twin tower

Its been a nice week for me. Hanging out with Teck Woon, Xue han, Andrew and Pauline. Went for boring lecture in the morning, then headed to Changi Sailing club to eat peranakan food. I ate beef hor fan. The environment was nice with frequent sea breeze whistling by our tables while we having delicious food. Andrew ordered chicken masala, which complemented with tasty nuns.

After that went to andrew and pauline's house to chill. Their home was fantastic with a simplisitic finish and an awsome movie room. We watched avatar and Rango in Bluray, and after that we headed out for dinner. Teck woon, pauline and andrew already had plans, so i ate dinner with Xuehan.

Anyway since last friday, i had a nightmare of my shares dropping after buying one lot of OCBC. I kept having fears that it will drop in price and i would have to live with the losses. But after hearing some enlightenment from xuehan about Teck woon's simple theory of holding. It kinda brought me back to my fundamental method of investing. To hold on to the shares forever and live with the dividends. We also talked about receiving.

It's a very rushed entry i've written due to my lack of patience. This is the end of my entry. Thank you!

My mum's cooking

two things i wanna sell

3 September 2011

IT was really enjoyable watching cars 2 with dear yesterday. They have 3 tracks of different countries and they made the theme so amazingly cute and realistic.
Totally love this show!!

So frustrated last night that my room is so hot and stuffy and i keep perspiring even though the weather is not hot. And getting so mad at that dota game. totally not worth it.

It's just terrible. Maybe i am just too exhausted!

Markets are down, so is my mood

Markets had been doing very bad lately. Whatever stock i buy went down, and i became very worried that i will lose all my money for my studies and for the future.

Recently i bought Noble grp at $1.42 and now i rised up to $1.52. A profit of $100 dollars. i wanted to treat her to nice food so i have to earn more in order to compensate for my low salary.

My pay is not enough to travel anymore this year. I canceled my holiday trip with my apple friends because i cannot afford another holiday since i'm going with Ms WAG to Kota Kinabalu for a basic diving course trip and the trip itself costs about 500 dollars or more.

Life is tough without money. But yet money cannot buy everything.

I suddenly feel so poor. Just praying day by day that the market will go up to normal conditions.

Nicknamed her Ms Wag aka Walk away girl

It all happened at the day when she waited for me at a different location, and i couldn't contact her phone.

I was so worried, i searched everywhere. When i found her, my anxious tone infuriated her and she walked away. Walk till where i do not know and i have to search everywhere for her all over again.

After this incident, i nicknamed her the walk away girl who made me so worried and lost at that point of time.

This incident will be forgiven but never forgotten.

11 Aug 11

Things seemed a little bit better now with her and i'm glad she really enjoyed her birthday. It wasn't easy for those words to come out from me but it came out like as if i've been struck by lightening.

Everyday is like a dead routine to me, Morning go to work at night come back. There is nothing much to look forward to except on days to meet her. Otherwise, i really have no committment or interests to keep myself occupied. I used to play basketball last time every night, but not anymore. Life have changed, things have also changed. Games don't interest me, nor do i gamble. The only thing i do is stocks, but it ain't gambling. Investment is solely to describe stocks, purely investment. The only thing i do is watch "Big Bang Theory". Guess if people say i no life, its a fact.

Still trying to find my purpose in life that i need to fulfill. Else why am i here? Why are we here.

The monster living in me

This monster cannot carry on no longer but yet i cant stop myself from being myself. The part about myself is to do the most i can to the person i truely love even to change habits or things which she doesnt like or tolerate. But when this happens the part of me becomes more sensitive towards whatever the person says or do. And then in isolation causes self destruction mentality inside my head. One part of it is good but yet the other is bad. Higher ups and lower downs describes the capacity of my risks and the danger of it when the lower downs affect my decision. However the higher ups also sustain the risks i am adhere to and to minimize as much of it as possible. That is one factor that is essential for me to stay on the right direction. The wind always blow forward, and never backwards. However, if the wind turns into a

Pain!

I have no one to talk to, to go out with!! Everyday go home think of sleeping. Living pointlessly, like a floating zombie. Moodless to go work.

So many hatred filled inside me when i see her enjoying while i am here to take this pain!! Well

Last time you say i go out with my friends and never bring along. Well it wasn't easy for me to bring you along at first, but i've tried really hard to make it work. And right now things seems to be going good with you and my friends but however i feel that you are kinda scared to bring me to meet your friends. It might be based on assumption but the feeling itself kinda makes me feel really cheated!!!

Life is unfair and i dunno how long can i survive this

The most important lesson in my life

It is the past, why let it affect you? We are already moving forward our relationship why wanna let the past affect the present or the future?

I cannot believe at this point of time, one of the worst turn of my relationships, can something like this even happened. I got to know that omfg that someone can do this to break our relationship.

But still there are 2 positive things in this. Firstly, I consider myself to be a lucky person to experience first time of someone betraying me, and i would think it will be so much more worst in some other circumstances. It might be the greatest lesson i've ever learned in life.

Secondly, for something so bad to take a huge blow to our relationship, can it still withstand? I've not gave up on this relationship but if she chose to i will respect her decision. If the relationship is weak, even if it doesn't end now, it will end someday.

Cannot afford to lose it

Regretted for not being able to save the sunglasses you gave me during our kuching trip. And now i've lost the seashell that comes in a pair. I'll find it somehow. Else i'll not stop searching for it. Cause you are important to me thats all. Can see that you've been trying hard to change for the better. I'm contented and hope that things really worked out well for the both of us.:) good day people.

Two words to describe my feeling

Used, betrayed. By the only girl I truly love. Who should I hate now. Myself. For I've been trying so hard to put this relationship to shape and now she's going to ruin it. if that's the case, then I got more to think about.

The alchemists of Wall Street

Took this video from teck woon. Shall watch it when i am free

An enjoyable day with lots of emotions.

I started my day out coming back from dear's house after a night of drinking. My head was feeling a little bit of migraine, possibly because of the hangover and the freaking warm weather. I came back home in the morning because its voting day and my dad asked me to reach home at 9am in the morning.

I took an mrt home, and the first thing i did was to take a cold shower. And the shower is so freaking shoik. I taught my dad how to use his ipod to connect to the hall's computer to switch on movies, like a remote control.

Then we watch "Hunt to kill" while waiting for my brother to wake up and finishing bathing. It was a great day for my dad because he got to drive the car for the first time after many many years. I was still affected by the hangover while we made our way to the polling station.

After voting, my mum asked me, "Leslie, so who did you vote for?". And i replied, "Mummy, my vote is extremely confidential.! " and i could hear laughter in the car from the 3 of them.

WE then made our way to my cousin's daphane's house, to have our family gathering. I'm not really that close with my dad's side of relatives but i think this gathering kinda made us closer. Her house was a four-storey semi-detached house. It was huge. I walked into her kitchen and saw 2 guinea pigs in a cage and a beagle dog which doesn't seemed to stop barking.

THen i was wondering how come they have so many pets, and then i remembered that daphane was an animal specialist and her husband was a doctor, which specialises in organs if i remembered correctly.

The food was great, but we got to leave early because my mum and me work at 4pm and my dad is fetching each of us.

The worst thing is i reached my camp early,draw key and open the door, to realised that my work was cancelled due to technical failure. Felt so stupid going to work at that moment, and luckily Avril drove me back to amk so that it is more convenient for me to take a train back.

... ... ....

The most frustrating thing i ever felt on that day was that i wanted to get the 3 system aircon unit earlier due to the extremely warm weather, told my mum i'll pay for it as well as the bills, and she actually rejected my idea of getting it. I am doing this for the benefit of everyone and yet she rejected it. I seriouly don't understand what she consideration that concerns her because i'm agreeing to pay the expenses for the aircon.

Next, i made my way to kelvin's house for his birthday celebration. Although i got a little lost but despite that i still prevented myself from taking cab due to financial constraints. When i reached, i saw Bing xian, Ti shone, Tien seng, Bryan, Han wei and kel's BMT friend.

We had lots of fun there because the food was superb and we share lots of gossips together, cursing and swearing and PAP's TPL, feeling grateful for Aljunied's George Yeo, had some photo taking tgt. Lots of fun throughout, till the announcing of the last results of the election.

Terrible

Just have a feeling that even if i am gone, no one would care!

I lost myself

Doing work that people don't appreciate, then i came to realised that there is no equal treatment in this world. Hope to study but still not able to, its the fear of not being able to study that led me to think of a future of unknown, with people already had their degree or people ord and starting to study.

Just have to accept that life don't go the way you want it to be.

And also, suddenly felt betrayed all of a sudden. Don't even know who am i now. It is not my intention to affect her exams, am just not great enough to swallow all of it myself.
With all the troubles and worries, i drank one shot of neat johnny walker and go to sleep.

Alot to do on a saturday duty

Who let the dogs out, who who who who????

I came to duty this morning thinking that nothing will happen and i can relax for the day. Then i received a call to open up the gates for the pest terminators to go in.

What actually happened? A group of dogs broke in to hunt for food because they did not empty the bins yesterday.

The pest terminators threw food with sleeping effect. They took it and fall asleep while running back to the jungle.

Reason for quarrelling?

Its because we have not met for 5 days. Come to think of it, when i look back at those arguements, i somehow broke into laughter.

Clueless~

Just trying to help you but yet i received a cold shoulder.

Wondered what have i done to deserve this?

Bad dream

I slept at 11 plus and had a really scary dream last night. I dreamed of my profile being shown on the target list. Then after that, someone started following me around wanting to know more information, sort of like spying on me and constantly trying to sniff out information from me. As i walked further and went to do something else, cannot remember what it was, another person came and seemed to wanna sniff out information from me as well.

I then hide a Rifle under my the bed, with a bed sheet over the rifle, preparing to shoot the first spy. However when she can to my room, i couldn't find the rifle. I panicked and looked hard for it but to no avail. She then went out of the house, looking down from the top. I was terrified the whole time, thinking that these are bad people who would do anything to gather information, even to the extend of hurting my close ones. Without a second thought, i flipped her by the legs, gathering all my strength and gave a swift and forceful push. She fall over the railing and dive straight down from the building.

I then made my way with her to another place, this time spotting another stranger with his computer on. We ignored him and dashed to the window to found the other uninjured spy spotting us from opposite building. I wasn't able to trust the guy but apparently he is controlling a monitoring device to track down the movements of the spies, then i realised he's an ally. We then work together to get rid of the spy.

Followed by that, we headed down to an empty private house to meet the rest of our ally, intention was to set up a main monitoring area to track down the rest of the spies. "One of the spies is still alive despite the high fall from the building" said one of them. My heart beat even more, as i found myself awake to realise i dreamt of such incident.

In the morning, i reached canteen to have breakfast before my parade. I suddenly received an sms saying that i bought 131 lots of Eunetworks at $0.01, which i remembered my intention was to sell off 131 lots of what i have at $0.015. I accepted that i made a mistake clicking the buy button instead. But for people to be selling it cheaper than the normal market rate seems unusually rare. Anyway its a penny stock, which is the reason why i want to sell it in the first place. Although knowing that holding it in the long run the value will go up, but its just torturing to see my losts accumulating at this moment.

It brightens up my day

Your call brightened up my day.

Its a crazy long weekend

Cooking with dear on friday

Cycling with dear on saturday

Studying and breakfast with dear today.

As for today, i am looking into how to study stocks in the US. It is slightly different from looking at stocks in singapore. They don't report their company with finanacial statements, cash flow statements, statistics. Instead, they use words to describe their company's finances which makes it hard for me to calculate their earnings yield and PE ratios.

Had been feeling hyperactive today, probably of the rush of time that i've been chasing for.Did my 20 push-ups, did some wrestling moves on the monster. Teck woon showed me his optionsexpress portfolio, which gave me a good idea on calls and puts options trading in the US stock market.

Haven been home for a long time and i really missed my family. Hope that there will be a short break in between for me to balance out time.

Dispite it, i will still be myself

I can feel people judging me at work and after work, i can feel that people are still judging me but the fact is that they are not. Just thinking it alone makes me depressed.

I slept early last night because i was really tired and couldn't stop thinking about what is going on at work. Like the scenes of office is constantly repeating and repeating in my mind.

I know that nothing can be changed by just worrying alone. Sometimes its my fault but sometimes i don't know the reason that if people are too sensitive or i am too insensitive. Some of the jokes i say can actually be offending to people but talking like that with my friends is kinda okay for me and they are able to inteprete it as a joke. Then i thought to myself. Is it the rank barrier in people that cause the pride and i am hurting their pride. I don't know the answer but now for sure i wouldn't act like myself in front of the people who is not close to me.
For those who don't appreciate the jokes from me, then let's not be friends nor enemies, just working colleagues.

Of what i told Shone yesterday and the way he responded makes me feel that he really understands what i've been going through. Thanks for being such a great friend.

It is not easy to bring myself back a little but Mich didn't really understand whats going on the most because you aren't in my work place, but you never fail to brighten up my mood one bit.
So glad to have you. :)

Ops!

Questions i ask myself.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, "Wolf! Wolf! The Wolf is chasing the sheep!"

The villagers came running up the hill to help the boy drive the wolf away. But when they arrived at the top of the hill, they found no wolf. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces.

"Don't cry 'wolf', shepherd boy," said the villagers, "when there's no wolf!" They went grumbling back down the hill.

Later, the boy sang out again, "Wolf! Wolf! The wolf is chasing the sheep!" To his naughty delight, he watched the villagers run up the hill to help him drive the wolf away.

When the villagers saw no wolf they sternly said, "Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don't cry 'wolf' when there is NO wolf!"

But the boy just grinned and watched them go grumbling down the hill once more.

Later, he saw a REAL wolf prowling about his flock. Alarmed, he leaped to his feet and sang out as loudly as he could, "Wolf! Wolf!"

But the villagers thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn't come.

At sunset, everyone wondered why the shepherd boy hadn't returned to the village with their sheep. They went up the hill to find the boy. They found him weeping.

"There really was a wolf here! The flock has scattered! I cried out, "Wolf!" Why didn't you come?"

An old man tried to comfort the boy as they walked back to the village.

"We'll help you look for the lost sheep in the morning," he said, putting his arm around the youth, "Nobody believes a liar...even when he is telling the truth!"

Short JB trip

Firstly, i parked my car at City square mall and went to this restaurant Sizzling stonegrill to eat their salmon on hot stone. It was absolutely fabulous. The salmon's raw, the stone's hot and you could see the sizzling sound coming from the stone when the raw salmon is being cooked. simple awsomeness. Their ice tea is only 3.9RM, which is very cheap for restaurant pricing. After that i went to secret recipe to bought 2 cheesecakes, marble cheese cake and apple crumble chessecake. As compared to singapore, the cheesecakes were half the price of singapore's. Really cheap and pure eating enjoyment.

Went into JB to pump petrol for my car and realised that petrol prices have gone up a lot. Esso per litre used to be only 2.5RM, now is 2.7RM. I pumped 33 litres is the price i once used to pump for about 40 litres.

Went to find a place to wash car after that. Then i decided to try a new carwash shop and it was a very quiet and deserted place. So i went into the place and let 3 car washers to wash my car. While they were washing halfway, a white car came down the slope and pass one of the car washers a cigarette packs of 20 type of box wrapped in newspaper.

First thought of it that came into my mind was drugs!! Is it possible that they will hide drugs into my car and then later come to singapore to retrieve it?? The more i think, the more worried i got but due to my carelessness, i didn't check thoroughly that there is no extra stuff inside my car. Anyway after the car wash i quickly went to pump petrol and left JB immediately in my heart praying to come out of the place safely.

Decided to tell my dear about it after that. Have to blog this page late due to the lack of concentration and time.

Is it a clue that something is going to happen?

A massive earthquake hit japan again for the 3rd time after the recent tsunami which cause thousands of death in Japan.

Seems to be a lot of natural disasters happening around the world recently. Is the 2012 theory a fact of a fiction?

Nevertheless i am not going to bother so much since i already have things to worry about everyday, hoping that her exams will finish soon, and we will go for our Kuching trip.

I feel that i am a lost soul now who has no purpose in life. Everyday go to work and doing the same thing, makes life very routine and meaningless. I'm constantly consoling myself that one day the opportunity will arise if nothing goes wrong.

And lastly i will end my post by declaring an honest fact that I enjoyed 100% of my weekends with MICHELLE LIM JU PING, the love of my life :)..

Rainbow Rose

The intention of this flower may turn out to be colourful and bright, but inside the colour lies its evil intentions.

Someone asked me one question, "If there is a fire in a forest and you have a chance to save one animal. Which one would you save? A tiger, a snake, a sheep, a rabbit or a dog?"

I choose a dog. My reason for that is because the dog is loyal and a good companion. Unlike the snake who may strangle you any time to eat.
A sheep is not a bad idea because it has wool for you to make clothes.
A rabbit may just be a pet with a burden.

What about a tiger?
Strong, have the ability to survive a fire and to help defend againest any enemy threat?
Tempting isn't it?? A tiger is like a double edge sword. Use it in your favour but if you are careless, you may just be eaten up by it.

All i wanna say today is to someone who is really special to me.
Even thought i have already said it before, but this is something that i worry so much about that i couldn't stop myself from writing it here.
Although i warn you before about your bff already, but i still wanna write it here so that if something bad were to happen, i know that you have seen what is written here!!! Else i will feel the regret i once felt during your birthday party.

Thank you and goodnight to whoever may read this blog.

Finally figured it out!

So this is some questions that i finally got me figured out.

So who is the most important priority in your life? You, Your family or your girlfriend.

My answer: ............................................

" I just don't understand why you will think this way but i will definitely not think this way. "

My answer: ............................................

This is what i see

avoidance! promises? is it really working or are they just lies!

Yesterday, i walked down the stairs with a heavy heart. The feeling of two dilemas clashing at each other.

One part of my mind to give in so that everything would be fine, both of us will be happy.

The other part of my mind told me that giving in would spoil my love for her, no matter happy, angry or sad, i have to be trueful.

I slipped pass a few stairs, was about to fall when one of my legs manage to move forward to prevent the fall.

Although sometimes there are disagreement but everytime i try to tell you something, instead of listening you just turn away or ignore me.. You don't wanna talk things out. What happen to the communication part of us.
And asking the question whether are you the one?? it just pains me!
It just seems to me like you are trying to run away from being the one.

Totally disappointed.

Till the day that you avoid it totally will be the day i start to fight fate.

Nevertheless, my decision never changed since.

Love,
Leslie

This is what they are to me

"As a friend, i will only wish for the better."

can it work out?

Its going to be our 8th month soon with Mich. This is for you my dearest Michelle, "You brought fun and laughter into my life and i am not going to let you go! "

My job is getting more challenging, as i am getting to undertake more tasks at hand.

Hearing my friends complaining about NS, talking about their university life, enjoying overseas holidays every now and then, talking about WOW, gossipping about EPL, makes me envy them about the simple things that make them happy.

I don't play WOW or talk about EPL, nor do i really complain a lot about NS. My desire is only to study and enjoy the student life i once had in NYP. To be honest, i don't hate the life i am living in now because i enjoyed working. Everyone must be thinking that i am crazy, but yah i really do enjoy the job i do while aimlessly dreaming about the future i was dreaming about since young.

Sometimes i'll aimlessly fantasizing about all the good things in life. The different countries to travel, going snowboarding, wake-boarding, gliding, climbing mountains, jet skiiing, spa, crossing the river on elephants, paraskiing, kayaking under the caves of an island. Doing all this without worrying about money, really enjoying my life to the fullest.

I always believed that to be able to feel satisfied and a sense of achievement is to work really hard for it.

And mostly importantly, i really hope that Michelle will work hard together with me. Even though i cannot see this in the near future, but i always wanted the both of us to do well and to go travelling together.

"I want to remind the both of us, there are no shortcuts in life. Even though life is unfair!"

Frustrating

Its so frustrating to wait for her to wake up so late.

But shall not call her this time. Just wanna see that if i don't call her will she feel it not... haiz..!!

And its so disappointing that we couldn't go to Perth together because of money issues!!

Just hope that there is something i can do to make it work!! *clueless..

Coincidence

Right eye

Left Eye

Such a coincidence that yesterday her eyes went swollen and now its my turn that my eyes are like that..

Is it fate or is it gems.. :) keke