Summer Flashbacks.... The Highlights, rather than the lowlights!

As some of you may know this summer hasn't held very many fabulous events or memories for us. Yes, there are going to be memories, but not the ones you actually want! August has definitely been no exception... the whole month has involved lots of tears & stress. Thankfully to the human mind it is mostly a blur & I would like to keep it that way. I have spent the majority of the week recouping from the latest & not so greatest event of the summer. I keep thinking about posting, but just felt August wasn't my month... so I was going to wait until September & start that month off with a bang! Then I realized there was some good from the summer that I never got to post about!! So I will to a nice little re-cap of some of the highlights since the 4th of July (that seems to be my last HAPPY post. That way I will have a place to find fond memories from this summer, although in all honesty I know I will not look back on this summer with fondness & that's okay, because there is a lifetime of other summers!!

The kids loved playing in Mimaw & Grumpy's backyard in the little swimming pool.

The Days of '47 Parade in downtown Salt Lake. Despite their faces, they all had a good time.

The Escort didn't survive the accident & wasn't worth fixing. We got a great deal on a 2004 Toyota Avalon, it was my step-mom's & thanks to her generous offer & Jeff's parents for help with the financing. We love it! It's such an upgrade for us! It worked out as we were already planning on going to Salt Lake for a visit. We just had to rent a car a little longer here,

& Jeff drove the new one back.

Here are a few pictures

of the interior.

Before my arrival in Salt Lake my sister-in-law told me about these great books she was reading. So I read the first 2 of the series while in there & pre-ordered Eclipse. I got it a few days after I got home & spent a nice day & a half reading it.

Some of my projects from the summer....

I made new matching bed skirts for the crib & Hannah's bed.

There is a shelf in the kids room that is flush with the ceiling & spans one entire wall. I love the shelf, but have struggled to find something to put up there. I have rotated different things, but everything looks so small once up that high. Thanks to my sister-in-law we came up with the idea of these blocks. We went to The Wood Connection in Salt Lake & picked them up & then to get some scrapbooking paper, paint & Mod Podge to complete the project. I do like them, but we had a hard time finding the "Right" colors of paper... & they too are light enough in color that they too lose themselves a little up on the shelf.

These are the quilt tops I made for Hannah & the baby. I wanted them to be similar & match, but for one to be for a girl & one for a boy. They are just vertical stripes running the length of the quilts. I am VERY happy with how these turned out. Now I just need to get with a friend who has more quilting experience than I do to finish them up!

**I think Jeff is even shocked to see how many of these projects have been completed.**

We're Home!!

What a fabulous morning! We were able to get the last test done around 10:30 for cystic fibrosis (which I just called & it was negative) & we were discharged by noon. We went out & had lunch (Hannah didn't want to go home before eating again.) We are still waiting results on the celiac panel test, but deep down I'm not really worried about it. I really think it was that swimming pool parasite or possibly some other virus, & we missed the window of testing to receive a positive answer through the tests. I even think the dehydration may have played a role in prolonging things... who knows, perhaps we'll never know... whatever it was, it was hideous!

Despite losing over 4 pounds she has gained 2 of them back, so we are headed in the right direction. We will follow-up with her doctor next week for a weight check. I am hoping that this is all behind us & we can now prepare for the arrival of the baby. The poor little guy hasn't gotten much thought, other than me hoping he stays put until we work through Hannah's illness. Now I need him to stay put long enough for me to get a few things ready. Thanks again for all the support & prayers through this ordeal!

Another Day... Another Update

Hannah has been on food for 24 hours & has tolerated all 3 meals really well. Yesterday evening she managed to have a normal bowel movement (I know, sorry... TMI!). She really livened up yesterday & was quite pleasant. We even got to hear that fabulous giggle we have missed so much. Jeff stayed here last night & said there was no diarrhea or vomiting, we have had days like this where things were looking up so that doesn't mean too much to us yet. If we can do the same again tonight that will have us feeling more optimistic.

This morning she was pleasant once again & even managed to have more normal bowel movements. We seem to have taken a slight turn in directions, but who knows if it will be short lived, but we hope for things to continue this way.

She has been really gassy after she eats, but she was gassy even when she was just on liquids. I mentioned this to the Doctor, but he didn't seem concerned. The doctor was listening after she ate & said her bowels sounded good, they were making good noises, & not overly active or too quiet (meaning they weren't functioning.) They are as dumbfounded as we are about this dramatic change, but seem just as happy. They were tempted to send us home now, but they have ordered the last test (cystic fibrosis sweat test) that will be done tomorrow. He still wants to run that test & feels as long as she is inpatient the testing & results will go much faster, we are also still waiting for the results on the celiac panel. We are so okay with that!!

So who knows what the change/improvement in things means. We are still planning on seeing a GI just to make sure everything is okay, but that will be done on an outpatient basis. We will continue to hold onto hope that this was some yucky bug & every other test we have done comes back negative. Thanks for all your concern, support & prayers.... we really appreciate it!!

Food.... Glorious Food!!

Hannah got some much needed sleep last night, Jeff stayed here & I went home to try & get some sleep also. I stopped off at the store to grab some milk & a pint of Ben & Jerry's. I enjoyed a yummy dinner of cold cereal (this really is a great meal!) then had a hot bath & a little ice cream therapy. It was just what I needed!!

Before I got here this morning Hannah had already had more labs drawn morning, some routine & the other was for celiac disease. She had to be pricked twice, because the vein blew on the first one. Poor girl!! We are still awaiting the celiac results. The cystic fibrosis test won't be done until Monday, because it is an off site test, & the lab it's sent to is off site & only runs during weekdays.

Hannah was given the okay to advance her diet!! YAY! Lunch was a treat to eat as a family, rather than sneaking around Hannah. She was so happy to be eating food, of course my camera batteries died so I wasn't able to get a picture of this glorious moment. We will now wait & see how her system reacts.

Frustration...

We are still in the hospital. Hannah & I rotate on having a hard time. One minute I am trying to avoid a meltdown & when the emotions get back in control Hannah has her turn. She will throw a big fat fit & I just let her. Sometimes it feels good to scream, cry, kick, hit & throw things. So we are just doing what we can to stay sane, even if that means having moments of insanity.

All the tests have come back negative. The Doctors are stumped & feeling our frustration... knowing that something is wrong, but not finding anything. The GI was supposed to come in today, but it's almost 5:00, so I'm thinking we aren't going to get very far tonight... which is just one more thing to add to my list of frustrations. They are going to do some labs in the morning, some routine & one to rule out celiac disease (wheat/gluten allergy.) A nurse also suggested to our doctor that she be tested for cystic fibrosis (God forbid!), & we were hoping they would do that today, but didn't. The nurse said the chances of them doing that this weekend are slim, because the hospital doesn't do that test. So it seems we are here for the weekend.

Hannah is on a clear liquid diet & just begs for food. So Jeff & I sneak our food. She keeps saying she wants to watch us eat, & that just breaks my heart. We can't bring ourselves to torture her like that, this whole experience seems like more torture than any child should have to go through. We wish they would up her diet, but we know that would bring the return of diarrhea, so it's sort of a bad situation. I just wonder if she will continue to lose weight while on liquids alone. She has lost 4 lbs, which is about 15% her body weight. She is only getting a couple hundred calories through juice & popsicles.

Last night she slept terrible, maybe 6 hours of sleep & it was broken up in segments. She took a 2 hour nap this morning, & nothing else... she is a complete monster! I am so tired & I am doing my best to take it easy, but it's very hard & feels like an inconvenience. If I wasn't pregnant I could survive on very little sleep & some coke... but being pregnant is requiring more of me, such as taking it easy, eating often, etc. Jeff is taking his turn at the hospital tonight, & I'll go home & try to get some sleep. Hopefully the exhaustion will have caught up to Hannah & she can get some much needed rest.

I'll try to keep things updated when there is anything to update.

More on Hannah

We were supposed to go in tomorrow morning to see the pediatrician, but I called & kicked up a fuss so they got us in this afternoon & ended up sending us to the hospital to be admitted (which oddly I was thrilled about, because I feel like some progress will be made.)

We still really think it might be that swimming pool parasite, I can't believe how many people from Utah have contacted me to see if she was "properly" tested for it. It takes a special test to figure it out. It also is worse on toddlers than others, & can last up to 6 weeks... what's another 2 right? HAHAHA!! So we have mentioned it to the Dr. here & said he may want to do a little research on that parasite, & we pushed for that specific test. He listened to me (which shocked me, because I feel like people ignore my opinion.) So at least now we know she will for sure stay hydrated, & hopefully get the treatment she needs & deserves. Now I don't have to worry so much about pre-term labor, because I'm already in the hospital... hehe.

Hannah is being a good sport, but of course gets worked up like a 2 year old would in a hospital. The hardest part is trying to bribe her, because they aren't letting her eat or drink anything. Hopefully they will atleast let her have something to drink soon. Thanks for all your concern & prayers, we appreciate it! I'll try to update with any new changes.

Back to School

Today Jeff started his 3rd & final year of law school! CONGRATULATIONS & Good Luck!!

I can't believe that we are almost finished. It will be so strange to be totally finished with school & move onto the next stage of life. It is exciting, but a little scary. He will continue working for the law firm he has been with since October of last year, but will go back to part time status now that summer is over. I'm not loving his schedule this semester, because he has an early class a couple of days a week & an evening class a couple of days also. The first year of school he couldn't work, so he had a lot more free time at home with us. I know that this schedule will seem nice compared to what it will be like when he is graduated & working, so I will try to enjoy it for what it is.

Hannah Update

We went to the Dr. Friday for a f/u on Hannah. All the tests they ran in the ER on Tuesday came back negative, so I guess that's a good thing. But it still doesn't explain any of it. She hasn't had any vomit since then, but up until yesterday she was on anti-nausea medicine. So we'll continue to keep her on a bland diet & hope that things improve. He said that the flora in her stool was nice & healthy... which is good, but once again what is up with the vomit & diarrhea?? I don't get it, I like answers & explanations... not medical mysteries. Hehe. We are scheduled to go back on the 28th for another f/u, he wants to make sure there has been an improvement with the diarrhea, along with some weight gain.

Well all day Friday she seemed to be doing a lot better that day & we fed her a little more (but still a bland diet, toast, bananas, oatmeal) & she had a huge increase in appetite. We too were optimistic that we were on the mend. We did as the doctor suggested & still didn't give her any phenergan for the nausea (which was the 2nd nice & she really didn't seem to need it.)

After her bath I could tell she wasn't doing well & I just knew that she was going to throw up that night.. if not right away. Well the was confirmed when she refused to get into bed & wanted to continue rocking. She kept taking deep breathes. Well after about 45 minutes I finally told her if she had any "throw-ups" in her we should just get them out now so she'll feel better. I barely had enough time to get the bucket to her mouth before she filled the thing! I freaked, I was at the end of my rope. Let me go back & mention that at this point the last 36 hours she seemed to be doing better, but had a HUGE decrease in her desire to drink & I had battled with her to try to stay hydrated. So that was my big concern now, if we weren't on the mend & she wasn't drinking for me, I just knew in my gut that we wouldn't make it through the weekend w/o an ER visit for dehydration.

So I phoned the Dr. on-call & he agreed that it was going to be a long hard weekend & suggested going back to the ER, but to a different one (I didn't know until now that the one we previously went to wasn't the best choice.) We live so close to 3 or 4 different hospitals & there is a children's hospital downtown. We opted for Children's, because she is such a stinker with Dr's & I figured they would be the best with the looks of IV fluids. So after a friend came over to aid in giving her a blessing we were off to Children's Hospital, & arrived at 9 PM. (Something else we didn't know about this hospital is the never ending wait in the waiting room!!)

There weren't that many people in the waiting room, but between all the ambulances coming in through the back & the fact that anything more serious that came in after us would get bumped to top priority, the wait began. At 1:30 AM we were finally called back (yes, 4 1/2 hours!!! After 3 we considered leaving, but I new the new the end had to be near & I couldn't give up!) After going through the details of our last 3 weeks, & including the last ER visit info including tests & results, they agreed she was dehydrated (luckily not too bad yet!) They also wanted to get some X-Rays, blood work & a urine sample. They did the X-Rays first & she was not very cooperative! So you can imagine having to have a catheter to get the urine sample & the IV were even less pleasant than the simple X-Rays. It didn't help that this was all happening in the middle of the night. So she got hydrated as we waited for results! Finally around 5:00 or 5:30 they came to inform me that everything came back normal. I felt like an evil mom when I was so bitter at the results! It's frustrating to have test after test run & to be told that everything is normal, when in fact everything is not normal! Between lack of sleep, hormones & the results it was all I could do to not burst into tears & fall on the ground begging or even demanding them to make her better! Thank goodness I was still sane enough to avoid such an embarrassing situation! I did however state my frustration to the Dr. that we have just gone full circle again & I am back to the same place, being sent home with no answers. She told me she was very sorry & despite the fact that these tests didn't show anything, she agrees that something is seriously wrong! But there was nothing more the ER could do & we would need to get into our pediatrician on Monday & have him refer us to a GI specialist. Shortly after 6:00 we were discharged & on our way home.

That morning also happened to be a baby shower my friends were throwing for me. Part of me wanted to cancel & the other part really needed the distraction. So I was able to get about 45 minutes of sleep before needing to get ready for my shower. It was just the distraction that I needed, even if it was only for a couple of hours. By the time we got home we all crashed for a few hours.

We have spent the rest of the weekend keeping Hannah well hydrated & trying to catch up on sleep. We are also going to keep her on the phenergan in hopes to allow some of what she eats to be absorbed before it is quickly discarded via diarrhea. And since we tried the no food & the insanely bland I am concerned with the weight loss, the lack of energy & lack of nutrition. So I am trying to give her a little protein, because it doesn't matter what she eats, the results are the same. This has been the longest weekend & I have cried way too many tears. I have to keep reminding myself to take it easy, crying won't make her better, & I need to stay calm & hydrated so that this baby doesn't come before we have this problem solved!!

I know, I know...

(These are actually pictures from a month ago, but if you'll take note of her cute little layer of fat.)

It's been over a month since I posted & it seems that the more time passes & I just get that farther behind, the less I want to update. This will be short & perhaps shed some light on the reason for my falling behind...

Hannah has been sick for 3 weeks now. Can I just tell you that I am so tired of being tired & of having this sick kiddo!! But enough about me, because compared to her, exhaustion is nothing!

It is heartbreaking! She has had serious issues with bodily fluids from both sides, (you know what I'm saying?) and it didn't help that we were out of town for the first 10 days of the illness. So that probably only added to the sickness, because I wasn't keeping her diet as bland as I should have. I also didn't have a clue that she was so sick or what was wrong. She tends to get a little distressed in the GI area when we are out of town, & I assumed it was that plus some sort of yucky bug. Well that is an understatement!

(This too is a month old, but take note of the double chin,

because that & the cute fat layer are gone!

That is what nearly 3 lbs will do to someone who isn't even 30 lbs!)

We are pretty sure she has that lovely swimming pool parasite, crypto, that is going around in Utah. We didn't really make this connection until last weekend & couldn't get into her doctor, so we ended up taking her to the ER. We still aren't 100% that she has the parasite, as we are still waiting for the test results to come back. The ER told me to not feed her for 2 or 3 days, just keep her on a clear liquid diet. I understand the reasoning here, but couldn't believe they were serious. I called the nurse the next day & even called the Dr. on call last night to confirm this "NO FOOD" thing. All giving me the same answer, to basically starve her. I think it is safe to say that none of these people have had to actually starve their own 2 year olds. They all gave me the great advice to "reason with her" HAHAHA! I didn't know that was a possibility, but let's just say I'm a big fat cheater & I can't starve her. It feels like child abuse. I have given in a couple of times for a saltine here or there. Today her body has finally given in to the hunger & must no longer trigger to her brain that it is hungry. Because she didn't as for anything to eat until just before nap time & I was able to keep her distracted. It's sad & pathetic, it's all I can do to not burst into tears just looking at her! I feel guilty when I sneak away to have something to eat myself. If I wasn't pregnant I would probably go on the same liquid diet with her out of pity.

As you can imagine she doesn't have much energy (where would it come from, if she did.) So it doesn't take much to entertain her, but I also try to keep her busy enough that she is distracted & not thinking about food. That too is hard, I would think to get her together with some of her little friends, but 2 year olds like to snack all day long. So that would go over long enough until they beg for snacks.

Sadly Jeff is making this a little hard also. We went to drop something off at his work & he asked if we wanted to go out to lunch. Hannah's face lit up as she enthusiastically said YES! I wanted to beat him right then, but there was too many witnesses around (and they are all lawyers, not a good idea!) And should I mention the M&M he snuck her yesterday? I was furious & he didn't seem to understand why. He doesn't realize that I too would love to feed her something to get a big grin out of her, like candy, but I also feel that I need to get her healthy. I know he means well, & hates this as much as I do. So now not only do I feel like the meanest mom in the world, not letting my child eat whatever, whenever, but she is going to view me that way. Because Dad is sneaking her things & talking about taking her to lunch & who has to say no? ME! So I'm the evil one! So Jeff, join MY team & fight the fight with me, not against me, dude!

Okay, so that was a longer explanation than I thought I could get out right now, but it felt really good to vent about it. So hopefully you can all understand my lack of posting right now. My priorities are down to one... Hannah, & everything else has been put on hold, because I feel I should focus my time & energy in the most important aspect of my life. But I promise to eventually get around to talking about the fun that was had in between the sad car accident & the sad sick child... because the 3 weeks in Salt Lake were very enjoyable... minus picking up this parasite of course.