It's true - Love hurts...

"Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day."


"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you."


"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough."


"They didn't agree on much. In fact they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday... But in spite their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other."

Happy Birthday....

Holy crapolie - I can't believe I'm 22 years old! First off, I'm actually surprised I'm still alive. Second, I woke up this morning and actually felt older. It was an odd feeling. Usually everyone asks, "do you feel older?" and of course the answer is always no. Well today, I feel older. In ways, I want to stop time and go back to being a senior and change things so I went to college, possibly moved to Utah and would most likely have a better job right now. On the other hand, I don't want to change anything about my life right now. Yeah, it'd be great to have a little more money, to have a better job and better health but, I wouldn't be growing as an individual without those struggles in my life right now. I've never really stopped and sat back to reflect on my life and today I got a chance to do that. I love my life and the amazing people in my life. I am truly blessed!!!

I feel extremely loved by all of my friends and family who have wished me a happy birthday today or who have called to talk today. My wonderful seester took me to Bliss Bake Shop for some delicious cupcakes (I recommend that everyone has one at some point in their lifetime or maybe 10 or 20 or whatever). Afterwards we went to get pedicures and I got my nails done too. It was a much needed day of pampering after endless weeks of stress and feeling crappy. We came home and relaxed and now we're just waiting to go to dinner at my favorite restaurant, Fuji's. Despite my parents being gone, my seester has made this birthday a great one! **Thank you SO much Tiffany**

Thank you again to EVERYONE who has wished me a happy birthday! You all are so amazing and I'm lucky to have you in my life! =) I love you all so VERY much!!!!!

Knowledge is Power

So I'm back into my old nasty rut of chest pains, purple toes, dizziness, fainting spells and heart episodes. YUCK! Just when I thought I was "growing out of it," it's back at it again, screwing up my life. When I first found out I had a heart problem, I was extremely bitter and upset. After the first failed surgery, missing tons of school and MANY questions from friends and others, I decided to try and be more open about it and share my story so I can help other women my age. 


Last year Go Red For Women had a special on NBC called Untold Stories of the Heart. It showed women across the nation dealing with heart disease and showing their struggles. I personally didn't get a chance to see it but it is available on their website at WWW.GOREDFORWOMEN.ORG. This year they're doing it again with, Go Red For Women Presents: Choose to Live, premiering Sept. 12 on NBC. I'd recommend every one to watch it whether you're a woman or not. You'd be amazed at the things you can learn about yourself and your health just by watching these premieres. 


Educate and take of yourselves ladies!! Help beat the odds with me!! Love you all & God bless! 

I DID IT!!!

Yes'm, I FINALLY got a job! I had two interviews on Wednesday and felt really good about both of them. The first one was for Fineline Pacific, a granite/countertop seller in Lake Oswego. I'd be hired to do admin/sales work. The second one was for Planet Beach Contempo Spa in Hillsboro and I'd be a spa consultant (By the way, the contempo spa was AMAZING!!!). The people who interviewed me were really nice and easy to talk to. I didn't feel nervous at all. I heard back today from Fineline Pacific and they offered me the job! I'll be working the front desk, answering phones, doing scheduling and handeling the showroom. Eventually I might be moved up to sales but that would be after awhile. I start on the 13th and it's Mon thru Fri, 8am-430pm. Lake Oswego is only about 35-40 min drive from our house and really the drive isn't bad at all in the morning. The only downfall will be the drive home. I figure after awhile, if things work out, I'll possibly find a place to move there. I'm REALLY excited and hoping everything works out well.

Just thought I'd fill you guys in on the good news - I'm exhausted so I'm heading to bed. GOOD NIGHT AND I LOVE YOU ALL!! :)

Suga Lumps

This video has been the highlight of my week :)

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

I decided to try out for America's Next Top Model. Now that they are having auditions for women 5'7" and under, I have a chance!! YAY ME AND MY SHORT GENES! They're going to be in Portland on March 14, 2009. I highly doubt I'll get it but at least I can say I tried right?! I just think it'll be hilarious if there are a ton of "little people" there. Could you imagine how great my day would be whether I get it or not?! :)

Anywho... unemployment has been quite an adventure. I spend most of my days with Tiffany and Sophia. Sophia is growing SO incredibly fast. She's already filling out and has a bigger stomach and 3 chins. It's adorable! At night I usually just watch tv and fill out job applications. My life sounds quite interesting eh?! I've recently become obsessed with the show TWO AND A HALF MEN. It's freakin hilarious! I love the little kid Jake and how much of a smarta** he is. He reminds me so much of my dad, Ella and um, myself. Some of my favorite quotes from the show are:


Jake [about his lunch]: An artichoke?
Charlie: Maybe you can trade it for something good.
Jake: With who? One of the slow kids?
Charlie: Give it a shot. Tell him it's a puppy

Jake [talking on the phone]: Yeah, we just got my uncle out of jail. It was cool. I saw a real pimp.
Jake: Ok, I'll be your pimp if you be my beotch.


hahahaha - that just makes my day great. Good night folks - I'll be sure to update you on my modeling adventures with the little people! :)

My week in a nutshell...

Sophia Grae Gniewosz was born on February 11, 2009 at 5:27pm. She weighed 4lbs 15oz and was 16.75" long. She was doing really great on Thursday afternoon and was wide awake and alert. While I was holding her on Thursday night while she was sleeping, she stopped breathing and turned all purple and ever since then has been having episodes. I can honestly say, I've never been so scared in my entire life. She's currently in the NICU at OHSU and getting a little better day by day. That is great news but it has been a rough road. I know if she is half as stubborn and strong as my sister, she will be just fine and pull through this. I hate seeing her all hooked up to the monitors but I'm glad she is there so she can get the care and treatment she needs. I can't wait until she can come home and be with her family. *I LOVE YOU SOPHIA*

Today, I found out my friend from high school, Brian Fairbrother, has passed away. He was leaving a party last night and was driving drunk when he hit a pole and then a tree. He died instantly. There were three other people in the car with him. Two of them are in comas, one's organs are failing and the third person was released from the hospital today. It came as a complete shock. My friend Ashley who has become pretty good friends with him had no idea and of course, I called her in a panic to see if she was okay and to make sure she wasn't hurt as well. She had no idea and I was the one who broke the news to her. I wish people would realize that drinking and driving is NEVER worth it. *RIP Brian Fairbrother* You are extremely missed and loved. My prayers are with your family and loved ones during this tough time. Thank you for being such a good friend to me in high school and thank you for making my best friend so happy. GOD BLESS!

I know God will never give anyone more than they can handle but I'm asking, PLEASE, can we just cool it down a little. I'm not sure how much more I can take. As Van Morrison has said - "There'll be days like this."