WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I am so, so afraid.
GP, Econs, Chem, even Physics & Math.
Just printed a loada GP model essays from Aspire. I seriously hope they help, my knowledge on GP is ZERO, HELP!
HELP!
HELP!
T___________________T.

These are no longer rantings, they are r-e-a-l.
Almost 2/3 of my college life is gone, there is no time left!
HELP!

I sound crazy over here. I needa catch up! I needa de-stress!

Alright I can't believe I am typing all these.

T_T.

EDITED\
Ok so its like 1 hour later & I'm feeling better.
Guess what I found at Wikipedia?

I clicked on our college link...
"The college also allows students to wear school's bermuda short along with the school polo shirt on Wednesdays and Fridays."

No wonder I see some J1s in that weird bermudas. HAHAHA.

"The college is the only junior college among the 600 Wifi hot spots that are under Wireless@SG in 2006"

Wow. Another reason to have a laptop :D. Although I still don't have 1 in my possession. Pfft.

"Sports
...
Runners' Club
Netball
Outdoor Activities Club(ODAC)
Rockclimbing(ROCMOC)..."

ODAC is a SPORTS! :D They used to classify it as a Club. ):

& oh SHCC!:D Misses.

To learn: Chemistry mechanisms.

So nice yep! HAHA. :P Download & print!

& folded up like paper dolls & little notes

*SCREAMS*

My blog post was deleted! I was editing it and I.E went crazy, so I closed it & used Firefox instead, and there goes my blog entry! T_T

Now I can't retrieve my entry. T_T

Never mind.

Here's a nice-song-to-bits to share!


Hope the website don't change it to 30s preview thing.

Till my next interesting post when I take more pics with my darling...
































camera! HAHAHA. :D

Get it over with

Yesterday, 270308, as much as I could remember.

Weekly assembly was a t-o-r-t-u-r-e. ): First was CT results which left me very disappointed with myself still.
After which was stress-management, how timely. At least the talk was interesting! After which we had a presentation by our JXP Scholars, & I got reminded of HK. ): <3

The issue on stress. Reflected a little. Maybe I really am stressed. Body aches, giddiness, feels like vomiting in class, unable to concentrate. Yucks! I had enough. I need to de-stress to get myself back on track.

The issue on your love expressions? Got such thing meh. LOL.

10-minute meeting which will be loading me with at least 2 days worth of brainpower which is already diminishing, dwindling, maybe gone.

Studied till 2315 with friend yep which was good 'cause I finished my Chem SPA & for the first time today I could say I have finished my homework(before the deadline that is)! :D

________________

Today, 280308, and the torture continues
From my constant body aches which left me totally feeling tired, drained, hollowed out.

Anyway.

P.E was good today. Loved some of the songs 'on air'. But why does it sound like some Karaoke version? Especially 'Can't help but Wait'. Those were the only 4 words I heard! But still, I love that song to bits. Yay.
Lessons ended at 1230. Gersh & Julius went off already. So Cvn, Clr & I stayed in class to do some work. Girls came in, blasted music hahaha. Lunch-ed. All off to Bishan Park for ODAC.
It was a battle against mosquitoes, attempts to give instructions, listening to briefings & swinging as high as you can. :D
Probably looking forward to ODAC camp. Definitely not to mosquitoes and ...

Bus trip back to school area. Saw same few people whom I often see hanging around in school, to study or for C.C.A. I've lost the stamina. Ahh.

________________

Talked to Gersh's HK buddy Carman online! Gosh she sent me a video which she had made... I am so touched T_T.

EDITED\

I've tried to upload the video to here but it didn't work! I shall try it again tomorrow...

Carman uploaded the video...

I'm gna embed it here... Thanks Carman! (:

I miss her & everyone else! End of the year man. & where is Teenie my buddy haha. I am so looking forward!
Provided I can do well for my 'A's. Please, please, please.

I need interesting things to talk about, I am boring myself out already.
May be edited tomorrow to add in pics & videos. :D Say yay!

I don't know how I linked myself to this, its a inspiring song by our very own Singapore's Electrico. It speaks of how we are actually not alone during the Downs of our lives. Well I've never heard of their songs before but this's rather nice. (:



Download it free at their website http://www.everybodyshere.sg/

The whole world's crushing down on me

My body is failing me.
2 Panadol-Extras didn't work.
Mum asked me to eat more Panadols.
She doesn't know how much it hurts.
Nausea, giddiness, blackouts.
Coupled with my grades going all the way downhill.

I am dying. X_X
How depressing.

And we'll never find another

Edited\



BESTIES!:D taken after jogging, 210308!
Ever since 1S06!


Where's YJ ):
________________

Was reading my latest Newsweek issue(yea I sound like some geek now) & came across this article which speaks of teens(say: us) "producing their images for outside consumption that images have replaced their essences".

Come to think of it, this indeed is true.
Most of us have some form of digital identity, be it Friendster, Facebook, MSN, Blogs(yea me me me) etc, etc, etc, & whatever new networking sites that spams my email, but I didn't bother to sign up.

And then these 'images' start to let people form impressions of who you are, what you think, what you do. Or maybe these 'images' have already taken over your entire character, until you can't seem to find back your true self anymore.

Our generation. Will secrets be a fair game?

________________

0730-1630 was spent in college writing econs essays, in between food and sleeps and stonings and shifting places.

I don't have the energy to hold a pen anymore(thats why I am here type-a-typing away!). :D

I've decided to put my aims for Mids on my DARLING<3 ( my blog LA).

& a new aim: not to look so stressed up everyday. I must smile more! *Plasters sticker smile. Hehe. Nah. I will be a happy girl :D.


I <3 this song. (:
Anyone has it? haha.

P.S. I just found out that there are LOADS & LOADS of GP articles on Aspire for us to read! WOW WOW WOW but I can't be online 24/7 to read. Sigh! I must find some time to.

& the heart skipped a bit then died

C.T period, got back our target-setting form.
How confident I was when I put down my targets a few months back.
Yet now...

Yea I was very disappointed with myself. Or rather, I still am.

Thanks dearest 2S15.
The Girls. (':
& The Guys...
Being with them cheers me up loads enough.
Especially Clr, hah I'm sorry...

Stayed back a little while after school with Clr, Cvn, Gersh & Julius to finish up Chem (which I conveniently forgot to do during lunch).
Dropped the idea of staying back in school to study, walked home, had a breather.
& yea Mr Lim said I always look stressed up. I didn't know that.

I couldn't bear to set my targets for Mids.
After much discussion with Mr Lim, I wrote down my targets on that green piece of paper.

Will I ever make it...

I realised... I've never done an Econs essay outline before.
No big surprise why I never seem to pass.
Even for Physics(argh, HATE, 'cause of my secondary school Physics teacher), I attempted a tutorial (which gave me a 10.5/15 for that particular question which came out for common test).
What a horrifying fact.

& ironically, my best subject last year is now my worst subject, vice versa.

):.

I shall end the topic here, its making my post boring & making me feel horrible inside.
_____________________

Emo-kias.

BFFs haha.

Pics up on Picasa!



oblivion.

Its ok, its ok, its ok (':

Common tests
Thank God this is seriously a wake up call.
Push me down even further so I can realise.
I don't know exactly what went wrong.
But I guess I was too tired to take exams(Last minute studying the previous night... Doesn't help?).
So I have DECIDED.
I WILL STUDY FOR MID YEARS NOW.
In fact I've started a little on Math yesterday.
Hope its a good headstart!
I can't afford to fail.
Sigh.
Motivated.
I WILL WORK HARD.
(':

Ag, Ag on the wall
Add Tollen's reagent to 1cm^3 of Propanone, heat in water bath & TADAAAAAA!

That was the only experiment that fascinated me, or maybe everyone else too?
So I asked Mr Lim is I could take pictures... Silence meant consent :X so out came my camera! :D Hehe.


Oooo experiments.


SuYi & I's Ag *claps


Wei2's attempts 1 & 2 @ Ag


Gersh & Cvn's neutral H2O compound (Purple litmus=neutral? :S )


Guess who?


Ag! (why not Au?... Then I don't mind paying for the 'broken' test tube! :P )


OUR Ag MIRRORS! :D

It's not very obvious that these are silver mirrors, but if you zoom ZOOM ZOOM in on the camera screen you can actually see our faces on the test tube! :D How cool is that!


P.S. Benzaldehyde stinks! ):

Gotta get back to homework & research for GP.
Gotta buck up.
Oh man.
YELP.

& I think I've been so mean.
Sorry people. ):
Sigh.

Untitled

New timetable on ASSpire!
Basically there is not much of a difference as compared to our previous timetable, except on Mondays where the day starts with GP (AHHH) and ends with math. & an extra SELF STUDY PERIOD! Wheee. & so our day will end at 1530 on Mondays. (:

& new addition- GP LECTURE O.O

Back to downloading lotsa stuffs from the portal.
50164516 GP & Econs articles to read, half(of GP) downloaded, none opened to read.

I want a laptop leh.

Blabber blabber blabber.

Attempts to download whole of Ass into H.D.D.

Speaking of that, I haven't paid Branson!
& the school shirt vendor.

:O. Sorry, forgetful me. :X

I think I'm moving, but I go nowhere

JOINUS! (printed on what-do-you-call-it, a goodie bag maybe)
Ooo double meaning. Pun intended? (:

Anyway went to NUS Open house today with WF & Kelly. Saw a few(say, less than 5?) seniors from our college there.

Listened to the talks. Oh man oh man oh man.

BBA (!!!!!) - 99% employment.... commanding average pay $5188.

& some far distant echo in my brain shouted at me to stop dreaming, because to get in you will need straight 'As'.

STRAIGHT 'A's!

Its not the case of whether I believe in myself or not already... Apparently I, no in fact ALL of us are competing with students from the TOP junior colleges, now where do I even stand, now that I can't even get an 'A' for a single subject?

I am working hard, beginning to work hard, trying my best to work hard.

But am I working hard enough?
The desire/hunger/thirst/motivation/whatever does not seem to be strong enough yet.

& when wants become needs.

BBA! BBA!! BBA!!! BBA!!!! BBA!!!!! BBA!!!!!! BBA!!!!!!!

or maybe engineering, as suggested? :/

Perhaps I set too high an aim for myself.
_______________
Back, back.

Oh anyway fish & chips @ Yusof Ishak Foodcourt tastes weird. Too oily & fish nua nua one. The price makes up for it anyway. Yay.

& its scary how parents bring their Primary school kids to University Open houses.
But somehow, I wished my parents did that to me.
At least...
_______________
Down to Queensway Shopping Centre to look at shoes(I kinda need/want new ones). Ended up looking at bags<3 Eyes on a black & pink Nike bag similar to Pauline's but smaller! :D

Didn't buy shoes because none fit my budget and 'taste' :P.

Bus trip home, both amused and irritated by the 2 guys sitting opposite WF & I.
_______________

I wish I am in school now
At least I will get the momentum to do work
I need to study
I need to study
I need to study
Oh man
BBA
DIE

Let my common tests be a MAJOR SETBACK for me.
Please please please let this be a motivation,
to last till the end of the year, the big 'A's.

I badly need to focus.

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push

Yesterday, 110308, 2130
With best buds Clr & Gersh, I watched...


Watch trailer @ Crunchyroll here: Click
Rule #1: No more horror movies please. :X
Haha I think all of us were terrified.
I still don't get the ending?
Hmm.
I couldn't sleep last night. :XXX
Dozed off double-plugged radio.
Ahhh!

_____________________
Today, 120308
1000-1800

Amidst
the noise of the ultravioleNt-heavy rain
the echo-ing screams of girls playing catching & A.E.I.O.U (LOL!)
the distractions of people walking/running/talking/laughing

I was dead focussed on studying, but how come what I yielded was so little. ):

Done: 3 Econs essays + 0.5 Chem tutorial

GOSH ):.

But it was good studying with Sheena! (: I see her as a motivation... &,&,& HK! Hahaha.

She went off at 1600+, so Howard came and joined me.

Luckily screaming girls went off after a while. But I was left with a splitting headache and an empty stomach :P. Just then WF ended her C.C.A so we went off. (:

Lessons tomorrow, everyone please remember to bring MT withdrawal form (thanks YL for reminding!).

Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly

CIP @ PeiYing Primary, 100308!
So its like a draggy looonnngg way to Khatib(alright lucky Dad fetched me to AMK first) MRT station. Reached there at 0630. Phew, luckily I wasn't late! (:
Mixed feelings of anticipation & fear(yea scared of kids hahaha), walked into this building where everything was tiny- mini stairs, mini chairs, mini tables but huge hall, LOL.

Oh camwhoring in toilet? [JW, Susu, Hwee, me] :X Mini sinks(uhm which got cut off)!
I was assigned to be OGL to Group 4...


First picture!
Boys(L to R): Sangeeth(super quiet, but surprisingly had the courage to go up to the stage to present twice!), Calvin(My little route director who finds cheers lame-_-), YinHong(super quiet boy who only talks to Sangeeth), Jameson(He told me he don't like pictures): ), Syazwan(He volunteers himself for almost everything, good!) , Gerald(this kid gives me a BIGGGG headache O.O)
Girls(L to R): QianTing(she's like so small in size& she keeps sticking to me and calling me jie-jie, so cute>< ), Amilia(loggerheads with Gerald), YanTing(who still contacts me by message haha), LiangYing(super quiet girl who keeps calling CW nai3 ma1 LOL)


Ooo hall.

So I had to bring them around the school(which, ironically, they are more familiar of the premises than I do) for their activities.


Co-operation.


Quiet at reflections...


This activity teaches on the importance of support. Wow.

The school gave us a 3.3 megapix camera each to take pictures. I took out their memory card & slotted it into my 7.2 megapix camera :D which takes clearer pictures. Hehe. But the bad thing now is that all the pictures are with them. But but but thanks to Ms Eng's help, we will be able to get a softcopy of all the pictures we took! Hip hip HURRAY! (:

Awaiting for pics then. (:

Second O at college, 110308!
Whee I was deployed to be Games I.C for Hole In The Box. Basically there is this Styrofoam box with a lot of holes inside and the group has to run across the field to get water using cups provided, then fill the Styrofoam box up with water until a certain mark. Of course you will have to find ways to block up the holes. Haha why do I sound like I'm giving out instructions?
Coincidentally got to know 2 girls from YL's class! Xinyi & Winnie. The 2 of them look alike? ><
And ZiJun & WeiLiang.
And the councillor oh gosh I forgot her name...

Basically the game was alright, got my shoes all wet inside.

Fukie came back to take pics. I am still envious of his camera muahahaha. How cool is a DSLR? :D

Lunched with Weiwei, Gersh & Julius(who went to join his Orion OGLs ): ). Macaroni outside school is nice!

Stayed back to watch Finale. Congrats on Cetus being the Champion house WHEEEE (2s15=Cetus!) :D

Nostalgia on hearing college dance song, remember that time the crazy bunch of us did college dance in the middle of some playground at night? :X

First intake memories...

We gotta meet up after 'A's alright!

Off to catch a Step Up 2! YAY.

I will study tomorrow
I will study tomorrow
I will study tomorrow.

Math make me HAPPY

Was browsing through Facebook & saw this on my HK buddy Teenie's profile. How cool! (:

Finally can upload PW videos, to be updated soon!

Now the path I follow takes a toll on me, on you

<3.

LOL.
2nd last day of my holidays(yes I'm gonna study REAL HARD these holidays, minus off 1 day for ODAC, 1 for second O).

Went to college for second O briefing today. Guess what... at the end of everything I realised I wasn't deployed as a Games I.C 'cause of CCA commitments, which clashes with one of the O days. How come I wasn't informed beforehand? Sigh. Was very sad about this, so went to talk to a teacher-in-charge. And volia, I am a second O second day Games I.C. Hurray! :D

The school compound was very empty(except for OGLs in the hall & a single soul studying), so I went to the bus stop to stone, read some GP & listen to music while waiting for WF to go sing KBOX at AMK!

Yay. I sang till my voice went off-key hahaha! :X All the songs I sang were kinda old 'cause I haven't been listening to any new chinese song, say, for the past 1 year. Except those super nice ones that people send me. (:

We went to walk-walk around after that.






Me finger on PIANO

Masterpieces!

We bought this at Popular bookstore. Actually we saw this a few days ago, but only bought it today. I was so fascinated by the piano... So, no regrets on buying this!

Oh isn't this life-like? (: WF & I's 2+ hours of hard work!
I couldn't get a decent picture of myself with our masterpiece. ):

I'm missing life without books a teeny weeny bit. I shall read some Newsweek magazines(whole pile stacked up on my table) later.
3 cheers for progress on turning into a nerdy girl! (:

& I'm slowly giving up




Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through

Thanks Sheena...(:


chiong ur way thru
n u'll c urself succeed =))

& I can’t erase the things that I’ve done

Fragmented thoughts. I'm losing interest in everything.
Photography, people, music, food.
I need some time on my own.
Stop asking me to commit.

Physics
I almost forgotten that today was the last day of C.Ts.
*Recaps...
Oh yea. So here it goes:
*Flips open question paper*
*Stares at first question*
Argh she went through this in class before, we didn't have the question but I copied down the steps BUT I DIDN'T STUDY. ):
*Rushes through 12 MCQs & attempted almost all short answers*
Dismissal, robot-ed out of the hall to defrost.

Lunch
Food Republic food sure is expensive ):
Stoned
Stoned
Stoned.
Couldn't rush back to meet Sheena to go back to Bowen, decided to forget about the testimonial.
I can't bring myself to step back into that place anyway.

Chiong-ed back to college at 1400
Gosh 89/90! I stared at the screen in cold hard dismay.
Isn't that like excellent already?
How come I still hear some say it's not.
&why isn't it in the newspapers.
GOSH.
You mean people get grades like this every year in our college? :O
Sorry i am such a mountain tortoise. Hah.
Unexpected.
With a bit of disappointment though.

A Levels MT
Nice to see Mr Ang our favorite C.T again,
back in our J1 homeroom,
with the sucidal pig :D



First satisfied grade for A levels, but whats the point.
H2s are of more significance.
& PW.
Gone case already maybe.
O.P.- I can never do it ever since after primary 4.

ODAC meeting
Initially I thought there was training.
In the end it was a series of meetings and dry-run for our upcoming Primary school camp.
Splitting headache from then up till now, I can't think properly.

Met Pauline at the bus stop, took the same bus home.
Cheer up, boy (:
________________

Total boredom at home.
& being a blog geek I've decided to go type-type-a-typing to spend my time.
Yay.
My head still hurts.
Heavy giddy spells recently.
My body is failing me.

Outing cancelled ): , I may just rot in front of the computer for the next 2 days.
Looking forward to second O.

Well, kinda.

At least...

The night goes on as I'm fading away

I watched this yesterday!
With Henry, Cvn, Julius, Gersh.
Hmm before that was with DY & Jack also, but they left after dinner. Clr also! :@

Alright nice visual effects which kinda scared me out, esp once I almost choked on my lemon tea- when I was drinking and this ghost appeared at her car window o.O. But lucky for the 2 next to me who didn't suffer from ear-piercing screams. HAHAHA 'cause I didn't watch the scary parts.

I don't watch horror movies :X maybe never again?

Then we went 'hiking'. Walk-walk around then went home. What a long and squeezy bus ride home ): Haha thanks Cvn for walking a long way with me to find my bus stop la. (:

Anyway C.Ts were horrible.
GP- I fell asleep for the first hour. Not literally, my brain just shut down itself and all my words became lines on the paper T_T
Econs- DRQ was alright, but essay questions were so tough! I didn't study that part... T_T
Math- Difficult T_T
Chem- For the first time I thought Chem was easier than Math

Gosh gotta buck up for Physics... Please don't let my name be in the list of students whom parents teachers wanna see.

Off to study!

This town is getting colder now

WAHAHA NERDY ME
(apparently this pic's been overused. Appears in my blog for a gazillion times.)

T'was long long time ago...
nong nong ago
nong nong ago
____________

Common tests in less than 24 hours
Fatigue seems to be catching up
I give up
Just do my best
Pray hard that things turn out fine
JIAYOU EVERYONE. (: